“Would you like another glass of wine?” Marcus suggested. “I could have a bottle brought into the library.”
“That sounds lovely.” She flashed him a smile.
He went to her and took her arm to lead her into the library.
Ahhh…how good she smells!
Merely to have her lithe, delicate body near was enough to arouse him. At this rate, he wasn’t certain he’d survive the hours until bed. Of course, he could always make love to her in the library. But he didn’t want it to be like that, as intense and satisfying as that experience had been. Tonight, he wanted to take things slowly, to savor every moment. To leave no part of her body unexplored. To worship every beautiful inch of her.
The thought of it made him almost breathless with impatience. He sought to slow his racing heart and breathe deeply. Hopefully, the wine would relax him…and her as well.
Reaching the library, he guided her to the settle, then sat in the chair across from her. He didn’t want to be too close, but he wanted to be able to look at her. To feast his eyes on this dazzlingly lovely woman who would soon be his wife.
If she agreed, that is.
The gnawing worry abruptly darkened his mood. He’d been looking ahead to this night as a means of indulging his passion. But it meant so much more than that. He had to please her, to make her so enthralled with his lovemaking she’d be willing to marry him.
He’d always been confident of his performance in the bedchamber, but now, with what was at stake, he felt a twinge of nerves. In the past, when he’d made an effort to please his partners, it had been mostly a matter of pride. And a good share of the women he’d bedded had been experienced and not shy about telling him what they wanted. Penny wasn’t going to do that, so he’d have to guess how to please her.
He repressed a sigh, wishing he knew more about women, especially this one!
Penny sipped her wine. She appeared distracted, her thoughts far away. “Is something troubling you?” he asked.
Her gaze focused on him and she smiled, although the expression seemed forced. “Not really. I was merely thinking about James and Lily.”
He couldn’t understand her obsession with the other couple’s happiness. But he knew enough not to say that. Instead, he said, “I’m certain things will work out for them. It all fits together quite tidily, to my way of thinking. Lily needs a protector and a father for her child, and James…I think James is actually quite lonely. He grew up in a large family, and now he lives in that townhouse all by himself.”
“You live alone. Does that mean you are lonely?”
He shrugged. “Perhaps I was, but like James I didn’t know it. But now…” He leaned closer. “It has been…pleasant having you here.”
Pleasant? What a dolt I am! It is far more than pleasant. Why do I struggle so hard to say what I feel?
She still smiled at him, although her eyes seemed sad. “I thought having me move in was a terrible inconvenience to you, not to mention expensive.”
“Did I say that?”
Appalling to think she’d read me so clearly.
“No, but your actions implied it. You were always frowning and grumbling about things, not to me but to Bowes.”
“I’m sorry. I’m afraid I was quite rude. I didn’t mean—”
She raised a hand in protest. “Don’t worry, I don’t hold it against you. And I didn’t make it easy for you. In fact, I went out of my way to create problems and make things difficult.”
Because you didn’t want to marry me.
Although she didn’t say it, he knew that was what she meant. Lately her behavior had changed. Did that mean she’d changed her mind about marrying him? He wanted to ask, but he was afraid.
“I’m certain it was disconcerting to suddenly have a fiancée,” she continued. “Even if it was your choice. You probably felt you were losing control over your life. I can certainly understand that.”
What was she saying, that by marrying him, she’d lose control over her own life? Somehow he had to reassure her he didn’t mean to treat her the way most men did their wives. He wanted her to be his partner, not his servant. “It can be difficult to get used to considering another person’s interests,” he said. “But over time…if you truly care about them, you learn to be less selfish.” No, that wasn’t right. She might be thinking he was talking about her being less selfish. “I was talking about myself,” he added. “I think I’ve changed. I view things differently now.”
She nodded. “So do I.”
When they talked like this, and she looked at him with that warm, almost tender expression, he felt hopeful. They got along quite well these days. Surely she could see they truly were compatible. Maybe he should ask her to marry him right now, instead of waiting until after they’d made love. But how did he broach the subject?
He’d heard he was supposed to get down on his knees to ask her, but that would make him feel too foolish. It would be too much like begging, as if she should feel sorry for him. He wanted to maintain some dignity at least.
He cleared his throat. “Given that things have changed, I wondered if…” How was he going to do this, when he was so terrified of her answer?
She got up suddenly. “I wonder…that is…maybe we could continue this conversation another time. I’m a bit tired.”
He also stood. Had she sensed he was about to propose and sought to head him off? Did that mean she was going to refuse him? But if that was the case, why was she putting it off?
He stared at her. Her behavior was so confusing. A moment before they’d been conversing easily. Now she seemed restless and anxious. Something was bothering her. If only he could figure out what it was.
“I know it’s early yet,” she murmured. “But I think…perhaps we should go up to bed.”
He didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. He’d been reprieved from asking the question he dreaded asking. But it bothered him that she seemed to fear it as much as he did. And what did she mean by saying they should go to bed? Was it an invitation to make love to her?
That, at least, he could find out. Smiling, he said, “Bed. Yes, that seems like a fine idea.” When she didn’t start for the door, he reached for her. As he kissed her, she molded her body against his. Her response emboldened him. He opened his mouth and their tongues mated. She drew closer and their kisses became almost frantic.
He felt his own desire overtaking him and realized this wasn’t what he wanted. So much of their lovemaking had been like this, desperate and driven, their need and lust overtaking them. He wanted them to share more than an expression of their sexual hunger. What he yearned for was true closeness, true intimacy, rather than coming together like two drowning people who could only save each other.
He forced himself to draw back. “Should we go upstairs?”
She appeared a bit disconcerted by his restraint, but she nodded.
He took her hand and led her from the library. They walked together, their fingers entwined. He felt as if he would burst. Not with arousal, but a kind of aching tenderness that built in his chest. It seemed so miraculous, so incredible to be going to bed with this beautiful woman. He could not get over the sense of wonder he felt, that she was willing to share her body with him.
They reached the bedchamber and went inside. It was so early the lamps weren’t even lit, and the room was illuminated with only the glow of the summer twilight. He thought about the other times they’d made love in this room. They’d always been so impatient; they could scarcely wait to take their clothes off. This time he meant to make every moment last.
Penny immediately turned her back to him, expecting him to undo the hooks on her dress. Instead, he drew her against his body, and pushing aside the tendrils of her hair, kissed the soft warm flesh at the nape of her neck. She shivered. He licked her ear and nipped her earlobe with his teeth. She gave a soft moan. He cupped her breasts in his hands and continued to kiss her neck. Feeling her yield, he knew a triumphant thrill. At this moment, she was his.
****
Penny sighed and shuddered, giving in to the breathtaking sensations aroused by his kisses and caresses. Her whole body heaved with desire, and it was a struggle not to seem too impatient. He obviously wanted to draw out every enticing pleasure as long as possible. He couldn’t know that every moment would be both heaven and torture for her. A part of her agonized at the awareness that what they shared tonight might have to last her a lifetime.
She fought to set aside the bitter awareness and think of nothing except the splendor of this moment. As he undid the hooks at the back of her dress, she concentrated on the tingling heat radiating from her nipples and the yearning ache in her lower belly. Her gown slipped down and he cupped her breasts, stroking them through the thin fabric of her zona. She drifted on a cloud of pleasure as he caressed her.
His expert fingers fondling her nearly bare skin. The sensation of silk and fine cotton gliding over her flesh. The pressure of his warm, skillful fingers. Her body sang with delight, sending waves of quivering heat deep into her core. Her legs failed her and he held her up, the sensation of his hard muscular body against hers arousing her further. Although the eager yearning inside her remained, having him hold her like this made her feel safe and content.
His lips followed where his hands had gone, and she savored his musky, male scent and reveled in his sleek masculine strength. But as hard as she tried, she couldn’t deny the desperate need building inside her. She found herself writhing and moaning as his tender, provocative lips brought her to fever pitch. When she thought she could bear no more, he brought his mouth to her cleft, licking and nuzzling her flesh through the fabric of her under-drawers.
She threw her head back and pressed her lips together, fighting the cry of ecstasy that swelled inside her. But she couldn’t hold back completely or stop the low, broken murmurs that issued from her lips, matching the shimmering waves of pleasure sweeping through her. She reached her peak with a shuddering gasp, her whole body convulsing. As she went limp, he caught her in his arms and carried her to the bed.
He undressed her. As she lay there, naked and spent, gazing up at his darkly handsome face, she realized she wanted to stroke and fondle and arouse him as he’d done to her. When he drew near, as if to start his exquisite torment once again, she shook her head. “Now, it’s my turn,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, since you’ve had your pleasure of me, it’s only fair I get mine of you.” She gestured. “Take off your clothing…all of it.”
His eyes darkened and his nostrils flared as he removed his garments. She watched, fascinated as he slowly revealed himself, each glimpse more provocative than the last. Broad shoulders straining against thin white muslin. The thick column of his muscular neck revealed as he untied his cravat. Swirls of dark hair visible as he unbuttoned his shirt. And then the glorious expanse of his chest, so solid and strong. He dropped his shirt to the floor, then paused, letting her feast her eyes on him: dark nipples, taut muscular planes, the intriguing v-shaped pattern of black hair, thinning to a faint line leading down to the mysteries concealed by his trousers.
He moved to the chair to take off his boots and stockings, then stood to undo his trousers. He unbuttoned them slowly, as if deliberately tantalizing her. She watched breathlessly, and as he freed his phallus, she felt the familiar arousal and amazement. It seemed appalling large, and yet, looking at his proud ruddy shaft and recalling the delicious, overwhelming sensation of having it inside her, she realized she reveled in every heated inch.
He slid down his trousers and stepped out of them, naked at last. Her gaze explored his lower body. Narrow hips, dominated by his phallus, thrusting up like a thick, blunt sword. Lean, powerful-looking legs, so different than hers. Hard, defined, hairy.
She stood and reached out to touch him. First, she stroked his shoulders, sliding her fingers over the smooth skin, feeling the hard strength beneath. He watched her with a hooded, provocative gaze as she caressed his chest. Coarse hair. Firm muscle. The pebbly surface of his nipples. She enjoyed each tantalizing texture as she glided her hands over him, massaging gently.
He remained still, but she could sense his breathing quicken. And when she followed the line of dark hair down to his belly, he gasped in expectation.
At the last second she moved her hands to the side, along his hips, avoiding his quivering erection.
“I didn’t do this to you,” he murmured.
“Do what?” She gently stroked his hips, her hands moving in slow circles nearer and nearer to his buttocks.
“Torture you.”
“Ah, but you did,” she purred. “And now I’m paying you back.”
She’d been watching him so far, enjoying the signs of his heightening arousal, the way the tension in his face increased with each slow caress. Now she closed her eyes and rested her face against his chest as she grasped his buttocks and gently squeezed. He gave a low groan and his body stiffened. His phallus throbbed against her belly, hot and alive, but she concentrated instead on the feel of his buttocks beneath her fingers. “You remind me of Hero,” she said. “Touching you, I sense your strength and power.”
He grasped her shoulders. “Ah, but
you
ride Hero, while soon I will ride
you
.” His words and his hot breath near her ear sent a delicious thrill through her. Oh, she wanted that, she did. But not yet.
She ran her hands down his back, then kneaded his buttocks, imagining the thick muscles flexing as he thrust into her. Her insides felt as if she was melting, and she was so aroused it was almost painful. But as badly as she wanted him, she forced herself to hold back, haunted by the idea that they might never do this again. She must focus on every magical moment before it all slipped away.
But when he gave another agonized groan, she felt pity on him and grasped the pulsing rod of flesh pressing again her belly. He let out a gasp and his body went rigid. She squeezed his warm, solid flesh, experiencing a dazzling sense of power. Each movement of her hands seemed to affect him, and when she fondled the velvety tip she sensed he was on the verge of exploding.