“You didn’t hurt her?” Ashton asked after a moment, his face a little red.
Cedric mirrored Ashton’s concern as he leaned back against the billiard table.
“She is fine now. I was not as gentle as I should have been… But I know how to distract a woman from pain and replace it with pleasure. She was brave, my Emily.” He’d only slept with two virgins in his long life of conquests. They’d both cried the whole time and he’d sworn off innocents since then. No man liked to spend the entire night cajoling a woman back into some semblance of acceptance.
But Emily had met him with surprising passion, one that rivaled his own.
Ashton fixed him with a look. “She loves you, Godric. A woman in love can endure more pain and suffering than the strongest man. Their hearts are unique things, sturdy and loyal, but susceptible to one great weakness.”
The sudden warmth in Godric’s chest surprised him. Emily loved him. He liked knowing that she loved him. He struggled to retain his composure. “And what weakness is that?”
Ashton frowned. “It is easily broken if she is not loved in return. You must find it in your heart to love her, Godric, or you will have done her a great injustice.”
Godric sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “You may be right, Ash. I’ve ruined her, at any rate and she deserves to be cared for. We certainly can’t return her to her uncle.”
Lucien’s face darkened. “That would be as good as handing her to Blankenship.”
“It is settled, then. At the end of the week I will return to London to tell Parr that Emily is no longer his. Her remaining here with me will be the settlement of his debt to me, and all contact will be severed between us.”
“And what about Emily?” Cedric asked.
“I’ll keep her here.”
“Is that wise?” Lucien asked.
“She’ll be bound by her honor. Besides, I doubt she’ll try to leave, not after what happened tonight.” Godric tried to stop himself, but his lips curved up regardless.
“That good, eh?” Charles chuckled.
Godric shook his head. “As if I’d tell you.” What she lacked in experience she made up for with confidence and enthusiasm, and if Ashton was right, love.
He wondered if that emotion, one so elusive in his own heart, had filled the moments with fire and tenderness. He’d lived a life of pleasure, and in that life, love had no part. His lovers enjoyed him as he in turn enjoyed them, but there was nothing more to it than that.
Emily… That had been something else entirely.
“Godric, you will take care next time, won’t you?” Ashton said after a minute. “I would hate to see Emily burdened with a babe so young,”
Godric winced. He hadn’t even thought about that. Christ! She could be with child now this very minute because he hadn’t controlled himself.
“I will take the necessary precautions.” There were a few ways, but the best was a French letter, an old favorite of his. He would be prepared next time. Of course, the next month would be a nerve-wracking one as he prayed to God that the first time with Emily didn’t result in disaster.
Even as he thought it, he knew a child born from that singular moment of wondrously tender pleasure would be a beautiful one. With his dark hair, and its mother’s expressive violet eyes. Her ticklishness. His boldness. What a child that would be. The image of this enchanting nonexistent child shocked him. A child? Eventually he would need an heir.
He needed to clear his thoughts of Emily and that imaginary child. “Shall we start a new game?” The other men joined him at the billiard table.
When Godric finally returned to his bedchamber, he carried a sleeping Penelope under one arm and her basket in the other. He set the basket down near his bedside table and fluffed the blankets for the puppy before setting her down. Penelope licked his hand with a sigh of contentment.
“Good girl.” He stroked her sleek head and scratched behind her ears. Her eyes drifted shut and Godric quickly undressed, dropping his clothes in an untidy pile at the foot of the bed, before he slipped under the covers. His body warmed instantly as it came into contact with Emily’s.
“Godric…” Emily murmured as she rolled over to face him.
“I’m here, darling.” He slid his arms around her waist, tugging her against him. She sighed, rather like Penelope, not really awake. He took advantage and kissed her lips. In the darkness, with their bodies entwined, with no witness but the moonlight, he almost thought himself capable of loving her. Emily almost read his thoughts as he freed her lips and nuzzled her neck.
“I love you,” she whispered, speaking to a dark prince in her dreams. She didn’t seem to expect a reply.
“I know,” he whispered as she fell asleep in his arms. Godric followed her into the land of dreams not long after, into a place surrounded by fields of exquisite butterflies. He could not catch a single one…
Emily woke to a new world.
Her body was languid and loose, flush with a new understanding of herself. No longer did a barrier exist between her and the elusive state of womanhood.
The man who changed everything lay next to her, his skin warm against hers. Before now she’d only ever felt embarrassed and shy about her body, but Godric had seen and tasted every part of her. He too had shared himself. She’d felt the passion in the tenderness of his kiss and the vulnerable glimmer in his eyes.
Emily pulled her hair into a loose coil at the back of her neck as she shifted closer to Godric. His chest rose and fell in a slow pattern of sleep, and she couldn’t resist him, as exposed as he was at that moment.
She kissed his chin and trailed her lips down his chest until she reached his left nipple, her mouth teasing it. Godric moaned groggily as his sleeping body responded.
Emily had one leg wedged between his, and his manhood stirred against her thigh.
She sucked harder before moving down over his abdomen.
A hand clasped her head, holding her mouth to his body. He was definitely awake now. “What are you up to, little vixen?”
“I thought I ought to wake you. I desire my good morning kiss.”
“Your kiss? My darling, we are far beyond kisses now.” His husky tone lit a tingling fire between her legs.
He didn’t wait for an invitation but slid her upwards and rolled her beneath him. Catching her mouth in a tender, sinful embrace, his left arm reached for the small drawer on his bedside table.
“What are you doing?” she asked between kisses.
His hand returned to their bodies under the covers. “Don’t worry, darling. I’m protecting you, that is all.”
The heat of the next kiss stole away all rational thought.
Some time later, she and Godric panted in each other’s arms as pleasure flooded their limbs. Godric’s body trembled and Emily cradled his head to her breasts, stroking his hair. She couldn’t help but admire the deep shades of brown caught by the morning light in his thick mane.
“Why do you tremble?”
“Making love to you…” Godric’s voice was barely above a whisper.
“Yes?” She kissed his dark hair, inhaling his masculine scent.
“I feel like a boy again.”
Emily was not sure what to make of this. “Is that…a good thing?”
“It is a wonderful thing, Emily. Every sensation, every kiss… It feels new. I never thought I could feel that way again.” Godric raised himself onto his elbows as he lay on her, still deep inside, the connection intense between them. His long lashes fanned out over his cheeks as he shut his eyes. The confession seemed to open him, make him vulnerable. She knew that tortured and hesitant look too well.
“Emily, there is something I would like to discuss with you.” He gently withdrew, and sat up close to her.
“What is it?” Suspicion clouded the sunny warmth in her heart.
“Because of this new development—” he waved a hand over the rumpled bed sheets “—returning you to your uncle is out of the question. I won’t hear of it. But you must decide what you wish to do now.”
Emily sat up, bringing the sheet up to cover herself. “You wish to send me away now?” Grief settled over her like a thick wool blanket, smothering her.
“What?” His brows drew together. “Send you away? Are you mad? I want you to stay here, stay with me. You need never concern yourself with your uncle again.” His thumbs stroked her cheeks. The gesture calmed her, but her chest still twinged, anticipating the death blow she knew he’d someday deliver to her heart.
“You want me to stay here with you? For how long?” She had to have some answers, even if they were painful ones.
“Yes.” The first question he answered without hesitation, but the second question he lingered over. “You will stay as long as you like once this business with your uncle is over.”
Emily tried to banish the burn of tears. He was not offering marriage or love, but time. If this was all she could have of him, she would take it, for now.
I will think about the consequences tomorrow.
“Then I will stay.” Her agreement brought him back down on her again with eager kisses.
The grandfather clock outside chimed nine times. The morning hours slipped away as they lay amid the destruction of pillows and sheets.
“What about breakfast?” she asked in a sated daze.
“Breakfast?” Godric’s hand traced designs on her collarbone. She lay back against his chest. One arm lay wrapped around her upper body while fingers danced across her skin. She watched as one formed a decisive pattern over and over again.
“What are you doing?”
His lips curved into a smile against her cheek.
“Writing my name on you.”
“If you’re claiming me, then I deserve fair turnabout.” Emily caught his hand and turned his palm up until it faced her. She held his hand still and used her right index finger to draw her own name in an invisible signature, then she brought his palm to her lips and sealed her name with a kiss. Godric covered her hand with his and nestled their paired hands on her waist. The soft silence between them was warm and secretive. Beyond Godric and their bed nothing else existed.
Was there ever a moment better than this? Nestled in his strong arms, she felt strong herself. She couldn’t help but imagine what life could be with the handsome, brooding Duke of Essex, who broke into smiles just for her and made her laugh and cry out with pleasure. Each breath, each kiss shared between them, tied her heart with strings and connected her to him. She’d always feel that cosmic pull towards him and fall into the gravity of his being. Whatever else happened, this moment, this perfect single instance, would always exist. A sunny memory bathed in love and bottled in her heart. It would never be enough, but she would take whatever came her way until it ended.
The rumble of Emily’s stomach broke the silence.
“Right! Breakfast! You must be famished!” Godric flew from the bed in a flurry to dress. Emily gathered her torn garments, heading to her room.
When they finally made it to the dining room the others were finishing their meals. Emily read at once their knowing gazes, and she flushed, eyes falling to the floor as she remembered her cries of pleasure. The entire manor must have heard her and Godric last night…and this morning.
Godric greeted them without a hint of embarrassment. “Morning.”
“Morning.” Lucien had his usual paper, but he folded it down over his fingers to glance at her and Godric before flipping the paper shield back up. Emily decided Lucien was less interested in his paper than in hiding his expression. She had glimpsed a smirk before the newspaper blocked him from view.
Charles stifled a yawn, running a hand through tousled blond hair. He was such an odd man. His clothes always neat, trim and finely cared for, but Charles himself was always sleepy-eyed and rumpled, as though he’d just emerged from bed.
Cedric kept busy by feeding Penelope crumbs of his leftover toast. A servant must have come up and fetched the pup before she and Godric woke.
Ashton regarded Emily with the same intense scrutiny she had given the others. “You look very lovely this morning, Emily.”
The compliment startled and pleased her. “Thank you.”
Ashton smiled then turned to Godric and—damn the man!—spoke in Italian. Whatever Godric replied seemed to ease Ashton, and amuse the others, except Cedric. He looked more than once in her direction with a mingled look of pity and concern. Emily’s stomach knotted. She ate her breakfast, but chewing became a task. Out of the corner of her eye she watched Godric talk and eat with his friends.
After nothing else distressing occurred, she relaxed.
Cedric eased back into his chair. “I say, Godric, how is the fishing in that lake of yours? Anything worth catching this time of year?”
“It’s been months since I’ve been there with the intent to fish. Be my guest, and feel free to take the others with you.” Godric put his hand on Emily’s knee under the table. Did he want her to go as well?
Emily bit her lip a moment, debating what his touch meant before speaking. “May I go too? I used to love fishing as a child.”
Cedric and Charles exchanged amused looks. Godric’s hand tightened on her leg.
“May I, Godric?”
“You want to spend the day fishing?” Displeasure darkened his eyes.
“Well, if you’d rather that I didn’t…” She wished she understood men better. They were such secretive, guarded creatures, and entirely unpredictable in what they wanted. They were frustrating.