While We're Far Apart (32 page)

“I don’t think so,” Penny said. “I think she would want to choose her own husband, not be part of a beauty contest.”

“I agree. Now, suppose Hashem had answered Queen Esther’s prayers the way she probably wanted Him to. . . . Suppose her country had not lost the war, and her parents had not died, and she had never been taken away to a foreign land. Suppose the king’s soldiers had not chosen her for the harem. How would our story have been different?”

Esther looked thoughtful, and for a moment Jacob glimpsed the lovely young woman she would soon become. “She never would have been the queen,” she said.

“Yes, that is right, Esther. What else?”

“When Haman – ” Esther had started to speak, but Peter interrupted her by making noise at the mention of Haman’s name. She swatted him playfully before continuing. “When Haman made his law to kill all of the Jews, there wouldn’t have been anybody to stop him if Esther wasn’t the queen.”

“Yes. Exactly so. Esther and her parents might have been spared for a time, but Haman would have destroyed every last one of Esther’s people in the end. What else do you see?”

“I think Esther was very brave to come forward and approach the king,” Penny said. “She must have been a special woman to be chosen above all the others. I think she had beauty on the inside as well as on the outside.”

“It takes courage to speak up when a wrong has been done,” Jacob said. “I think you all know that the Nazis are now persecuting the Jewish people, yet no one is speaking up, no one is helping them.”

“But maybe people are helping,” Esther said, “and we just don’t know about it.”

Her words stopped Jacob short. Hadn’t this story just shown that Hashem was at work behind the scenes? Jacob wanted so badly to believe it was true for Avraham and his family, as well.

“You are right, of course. The help that the Refugee Board is sending will be used in ways we cannot see. . . . Now, I asked Peter to be Hashem. Did you notice why?”

Esther grinned. “He didn’t have any words to say.”

“Yes. In fact, Hashem is never once mentioned in this story – yet could you see Him working just the same? Arranging things between the pages?” Jacob saw Peter nodding his head, looking pleased. “Hashem was with Queen Esther all of that time, just as surely as Peter was here with us, even though neither Hashem nor Peter spoke a word.”

“I get it!” Esther said. Her smile was the brightest Jacob had ever seen.

And as angry as Jacob still was with Hashem, he was forced to acknowledge the truth of his own words. Hashem would always be with His people, even when silence and hardship made it seem as though He had forsaken them. If only Jacob could look past his grief and confusion and wait for Hashem, trusting in His goodness.

Jacob stood, needing to escape for a moment as he battled his tears. “I will get the cookies we made,” he said. “And fix some tea.”

By the time the water boiled and he had arranged the Hamantaschen on a plate, Jacob was in control again. He carried them into the living room on a tray and heard Penny saying, “I never noticed before that Esther was adopted. Maybe that’s because I just found out that I’m adopted.”

“What happened to your real parents?” Esther asked.

“I don’t know. I guess my real mother didn’t love me so she gave me away.”

“Just a minute,” Jacob said. “How do you know that she did not love you?”

Penny looked taken aback. “It says on the adoption certificate that she gave me away when I was one day old and then she had the record sealed so I could never find her again.”

“There are many reasons why parents must leave their children with someone else,” Jacob said. “Ed Shaffer left his children with you so he could fight in the war, yes?”

“But their father loves them.”

“And that must have made his decision even more difficult. How do you know that it was not just as difficult for your mother? Where is the proof that she did not love you?”

Tears welled in Penny’s eyes. “She gave me up, didn’t she?”

“That is not proof. I suggest that you seek out the reason for her decision before you conclude that she did not love you. Sometimes a mother might love her child very much, but she is unable to take care of her. Or she wants a better life for her child, so she does the unselfish thing and lets her go.”

“How do you know all of this?” Penny asked.

“Life in Hungary where I was born was very difficult for Jews. I was only seventeen years old when I came to America. My mother was very sad to see me leave, but she wanted me to have a better life.”

“Maybe Penny’s mother got sick,” Esther said, “and couldn’t take care of a little baby.”

Maybe she died,
Peter wrote. Jacob looked at him, aching for him.

“I’ll never know the reason,” Penny said, “because the birth record is sealed. I don’t even know my real mother’s name.”

“Have you tried searching for her?” Jacob asked.

“I don’t know how. I’m not a very good detective like you.”

“Perhaps your adoptive parents might know the story of how you became theirs,” Jacob said.

Penny shook her head. “I can’t ask them. They’ve never even told me I was adopted. I found out by accident when I needed my birth certificate. They still don’t know that I found out the truth.”

“Are there other family members who might know?” he asked.

“I have an older sister.”

“Is she adopted, as well?”

“I have no idea. Hazel got married and moved away when I was a baby. She lives in New Jersey somewhere.”

“Doesn’t she ever come to visit you?” Esther asked. “Not even for Christmas and Thanksgiving?”

“She visited once or twice when I was younger, but she has children of her own now, so it’s hard for her to travel. And my parents are old and don’t like to travel, either, so we never visit Hazel.” Penny was growing tearful. Jacob could see that the subject was very painful for her.

“Mr. Mendel is trying to find his son, Avraham, and his family,” Esther told Penny. “They’re over in Hungary, and he hasn’t heard from them in more than two years. But you’re going to keep searching for them, right, Mr. Mendel?”

“Yes. And for my brothers and cousins and their families, as well. I will search the world to find the people I love. I will never give up.”

“I wish I could find Mama’s family,” Esther said, “but I don’t know any of their names or where they live or how to find them.”

“Have you asked other family members about them?” Jacob asked, trying to shift the conversation away from Penny.

“I asked Daddy, but he wouldn’t tell me very much. Grandma Shaffer said Mama’s parents didn’t want her to marry Daddy because then she couldn’t study music.”

“If you found your mother’s birth certificate,” Penny said, “it would have her parents’ names on it.”

“Really? Will you help me find it?” Esther asked.

“Sure. And if we need to go to the records’ office, I know where it is.”

“A marriage license might also have her maiden name on it,” Jacob added.

Penny jumped to her feet as if she wanted to run down to the records’ office this very minute. Instead, she said, “Come on, let’s help Mr. Mendel with the dishes.”

“No, no. Leave them. I will clean up. I have nothing else to do.”

“Are you sure? It will go faster if we all help.”

“You have to go to work tomorrow, yes? And the children have school? I do not mind doing them.”

It took a lot of effort to convince Penny to leave the dishes, but she finally gave in. The children thanked him for the dinner and hugged him good-bye. His kitchen might be a mess, but Jacob felt happy. The evening had been a good one. He turned on the radio so he could listen to it while he cleared the table and carried plates and cups into the kitchen. He had been so busy getting ready for the feast that he hadn’t listened to the news all afternoon.

At first the station played music and advertisements. But as Jacob collected the tray from the living room with the cookies and teacups, a news bulletin aired. He paused in the middle of the room to listen to it.

“Nazi troops marched into Hungary today and now occupy that country. Analysts believe that Hitler wanted to forestall attempts by the Hungarian government to sign a separate peace agreement with the Allies. These Nazi forces now occupy Budapest. . . .”

“No . . .” Jacob murmured. “No, that cannot be . . .”

The Nazis are in Hungary.

As the truth began to penetrate his soul, Jacob cried out, “NO!”

His body went weak and the tray slipped from his hands. The dishes crashed to the floor – splintering, like his hope, into a million pieces.

Jacob doubled over as pain spiked through his chest. He couldn’t draw a breath. He tried to reach the sofa, but the room spun and his legs gave way and he fell, bringing a floor lamp crashing down with him.

Then darkness.

C
HAPTER 28

E
STHER COULDN’T STOP THINKING
about the story of Queen Esther that they had read tonight. Penny was trying to hurry her and Peter along because it was past their usual bedtime, but Esther didn’t want to rush off to bed. She knew she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep right away. While Peter brushed his teeth in the bathroom, Esther packed her schoolbag and set it by the front door, ready for the morning. She wished she didn’t have to go to school tomorrow.

As she stood at the top of the steps, she suddenly heard a crash downstairs and glass breaking. Then Mr. Mendel let out a heartrending cry. The sound quivered through Esther like an electrical current, pinning her in place. Another crash followed.

Esther dropped her bag and ran down to the foyer to knock on Mr. Mendel’s door. “Mr. Mendel . . . ? Mr. Mendel, are you okay?”

No answer. She could hear his radio playing inside. She knocked harder. Panic swelled inside her, filling her chest.

“Mr. Mendel!”

She tried the knob, but his door was locked. Esther threw herself against it with all her might, calling his name over and over. It wouldn’t budge. Why didn’t he answer? As her fear spiraled out of control, she remembered that Mrs. Mendel had once shown Mama where she hid an extra key.

Please let it be there . . . please let it be there,
Esther pleaded as she felt along the edge of the stair risers for the key.

She found it! Her fingers shook so badly she could barely fumble the key into the lock, but the door finally flew open.

Mr. Mendel lay in a heap on the floor with his eyes closed, his face as pale as a ghost’s. Shattered glass, crushed cookies, and a toppled lamp lay all around him. Esther ran out to the foyer and yelled with all her strength, “Penny! Penny come down here! Hurry!”

Penny thundered down the stairs, followed by Peter in his pajamas. Penny took one look at Mr. Mendel and grabbed for his telephone. “I’m calling an ambulance.”

Esther sank down beside him, ignoring the shards of glass that lay scattered everywhere, and lifted his head into her lap. Peter knelt to hold one of his hands. All of them were crying, including Penny.

“Mr. Mendel . . . please wake up . . . please,” Esther begged, stroking his face. The little skullcap he always wore had fallen off, and she tried to put it back on his head.
Please, God, please!
she silently prayed.
Don’t let him die!

At last, Mr. Mendel groaned softly. His eyes fluttered open. Esther could tell that he didn’t know where he was or what had happened. His face still looked as white as paper.

“Are you okay, Mr. Mendel? I think you fell. Are you hurt anywhere?”

“My chest . . .” He drew a gasping breath. “Hard . . . to breathe.”

“An ambulance is on the way,” Penny said. “Don’t try to move.”

He looked from one of them to the next and whispered, “No tears . . . I will be fine.” Esther wished she could believe him.

“Is there anyone else we should call?” Penny asked.

“Rebbe Grunfeld . . . his number . . . is on my desk.”

Esther heard Penny calling him, asking him to come over right away. By the time she hung up, a siren had begun to wail in the distance. Peter heard it, too, and he scrambled to his feet as if he wanted to run away from it. He pressed his hands over his ears. He hated the sound of ambulances. Esther did, too. Penny pulled Peter into her arms, hugging him tightly, comforting him.

The siren screamed louder, closer. A flashing red light shone through the front window. Penny ran to open the door for the medics, and a moment later Esther heard footsteps and men’s voices. They hurried inside and crouched down to examine Mr. Mendel, talking to him, listening to his heart. Esther closed her eyes and prayed. When she opened them again, she saw that the man with the stethoscope looked worried.

“We need to take him to the hospital,” he said. The other medic went outside to retrieve the stretcher. As they lifted Mr. Mendel onto it, the rabbi arrived. Esther recognized the white-bearded man from the night of the fire.

“How is he?” the rabbi asked. “What happened?”

“I think he fell,” Esther said. “I heard a crash and I came downstairs and found him here.”

“The radio . . .” Mr. Mendel murmured, pointing to it. Music still played from it in the background, and Esther thought he wanted her to turn it off. But as the medics hoisted the stretcher, Mr. Mendel gripped the rabbi’s wrist and said, “Nazis . . . in Hungary.”

Esther didn’t understand what he was trying to say. “I want to go to the hospital with him,” she said.

“It’s very late,” the rabbi told her. “I think it would be better if you stayed here. I will ride with him to the hospital and call as soon as I have news. I promise.” Esther grabbed a piece of paper from the memo pad on the desk and wrote down her telephone number to give to him.

“Promise you’ll call right away?”

“Yes, I promise.”

The front door opened and cold air rushed inside. Then the men were gone. The flashing light and wailing siren grew fainter and fainter. “You kids go on upstairs,” Penny said. “I’ll clean up this mess and take care of the dishes.”

Esther shook her head. “I want to help you. Mr. Mendel keeps his dishes separated and I already know how to do it.” She bent to straighten the lamp, not waiting for Penny’s reply. Together, the three of them cleaned up the broken glass and washed all the dishes. They had just finished putting everything away, and Esther was about to turn off Mr. Mendel’s radio and go upstairs when the nightly news aired once again: