Where Have All the Boys Gone? (9 page)

‘I’m trying my best,’ said Katie sulkily. ‘I didn’t ask for this job, OK?’

He turned on her suddenly. ‘What on earth do you mean by that? You came up here for the interview. Then you came back. Why are you doing us all such a massive favour?’

‘I did come up here, but then I met you and decided I didn’t want the job! Then they sent me anyway! But if you want me to do anything for you, you’ve got to explain things to me and not give me evils all the time. I can write, I can place things, I can spin things and I can do my best to influence people to look on the best side of everything you do. If that offends your delicate country sensibilities, then tough. Don’t hire a PR firm then, because that’s what we do. And it’s not my effing fault that we don’t have a branch in Fairlish where we all study five years of pine tree bloody science! You’re the one spending taxpayer’s money, take some responsibility!’

Harry drove on in silence. Katie bit her lip. Bloody hell. Where had that come from? Oh God, what if he sent her home? Olivia would be fuming and actually she had quite started to enjoy herself. There was a reason why she didn’t get the big jobs at the agencies and she knew it was her inability to keep her big mouth shut and let the client always be right. Bugger, bugger, bugger.

She reached a hand back in the Land-Rover and Francis licked it. Oh well. She scratched the fur under his chin and he rubbed his head on her wrist, making pleased noises.

Eventually, Harry sighed. ‘My dog seems to like you,’ he said. ‘I don’t, but he does.’

‘Maybe you should put your dog in charge.’

‘He hates responsibility.’

Katie took a deep breath. ‘I’m really sorry,’ she said. Her least favourite words in the world. ‘If you want to let me go, I understand.’

Harry rubbed the back of his head and laughed. ‘I think that’s a bit of an overreaction, don’t you? Plus, on that evidence, I think it might be a better punishment to keep you.’

Katie harrumphed.

‘Do you think you could at least pretend to listen when I’m talking to you and try to keep down the sarcastic remarks?’

‘Yes,’ said Katie, biting her tongue.

They spent the rest of the day touring the forest in relative calm. Harry described the flora and fauna of each area, how they were important, how they undertook the husbandry and what the gamekeepers and tree surgeons did. Katie was amazed to find it was actually incredibly interesting, and also astonished by how many people Harry’s office employed. She even managed to keep remarks about how much her mother wanted her to marry a doctor to herself.

‘You never see any of the surgeons,’ said Harry. ‘They don’t like being indoors. They start pacing, like panthers. Willie Mac spends more time sleeping in his bothy than he does in his house.’

‘What’s a bothy?’

‘It’s like a little hut in the woods. Not exactly five star, but it suits some. It’s quiet.’

‘The woods aren’t quiet,’ said Katie. ‘Full of creaking
noises and scary rustlings. I mean, well, just general nature taking its course kind of stuff, of course,’ she added, aware she was going to have to toughen up and get used to country ways quickly. ‘Not scary at all.’

‘Don’t know about that,’ said Harry. ‘There used to be lots of boar here, and we’re thinking of bringing them back. Wolves too. And adders.’

‘Maybe I’ll just stay in the car,’ she answered, all resolve instantly evaporating.

Finally, when they were miles away from town and, it felt, any other living human being, Harry forded a stream in the Land-Rover, and brought them to a halt.

‘Here,’ he said.

The afternoon light was settling on the tops of the trees, which were just, here and there, beginning to show signs of green, distant promises of a spring still not quite making its presence felt. This wasn’t a carefully managed forest, like the endless acres they had just driven through; it was natural and running wild. Roots snaked around each other, and the vegetation lay thickly rotting on the ground. Everywhere there were signs of life just flashing by out of reach; a quick streak of silver in the stream, a rustle in the undergrowth; a vanishing pair of sharp yellow eyes.

‘Wow,’ said Katie, stepping out. ‘Where’s the gingerbread house?’

She was glad she’d bought those stout boots at the outdoor shop in Soho (or the ‘Big Outdoor Nerd’s Shop’ as she had called it until that first visit) before they left.

As she stepped forward, the dead leaves crunched underfoot.

‘Shh shh!’ said Harry, grabbing her arm and pointing. Rising out of the woods, outlined by the fading sun was a huge golden kestrel, rearing backwards. As if having seen them and found them wanting, it immediately twirled away
and soared upwards towards the sun, lazily batted its giant wings twice, then disappeared into the far yonder. It was one of the most beautiful things Katie had ever seen.

‘My goodness,’ she said. In that way you do when something unexpected happens and you’ve had a really mad few days and are feeling a bit homesick and unfamiliar, she suddenly felt like crying. She choked it down hard. Fortunately, Harry hadn’t noticed; he was striding forwards into the forest.

‘I love it here,’ he said. ‘It’s my favourite place in the whole…well, the whole world probably.’ He smiled apologetically for his unaccustomed hyperbole.

‘Hmm?’ responded Katie, still not quite trusting herself to speak.

‘Look at this,’ said Harry, pointing out a thick tree stump, covered in vines, that was exactly the right height for a stool.

He put his fingers on the rings. ‘See this ring here?’

Katie nodded.

‘When Queen Victoria was alive, she used to come riding here. And this ring was made when Bonnie Prince Charlie was leading an army to London. Here, further in, Mary Queen of Scots was in Holyrood when this was still a sapling.’

Katie traced the lines with her fingers.

‘This tree was over four hundred years old when she fell,’ mused Harry. ‘Sometimes I think they have more claim to the earth than we do.’

His face looked distant and brooding. Katie found it hard to stop staring at him, and felt the need to break the mood.

‘Ah, but can they make pancakes?’ she said suddenly.

He smiled. ‘No. They can’t make pancakes. They can’t make wars either.’

They walked on to a glade covered in toadstools. Although still chilly, the late afternoon sun filtered through the trees in slices.

‘My mother used to bring me here when I was small,’ said Harry suddenly. ‘I really did think fairies and elves lived here then. Sorry,’ he apologised embarrassedly. ‘That’s stupid.’

‘Of course it’s not stupid,’ said Katie. ‘I still kind of believe it now.’

Harry gave a half-smile. ‘Thanks.’

‘No, I actually mean it,’ protested Katie.

‘You act that daft, I’m not surprised.’

‘Don’t talk about the fairies like that – they’ll come and take your teeth.’

He shook his head. ‘Anyway, this place is called
Gealach Coille.
It means, “Moon Forest” in Gaelic’

‘Oh!’ said Katie.

‘What?’

‘The language. I just realised what Louise was watching on BBC2.’

‘Well, I’m delighted for you. Anyway, this is one of our greatest concerns and, really, at the heart of why we’re recruiting PR now. To strengthen our armoury, if you like.’

‘What?’

‘Can you keep a secret?’

‘Of course,’ said Katie, crossing her fingers. She’d learned her lesson about that one.

‘This cannot get out, do you understand? The only people that know are me and Derek.’

Katie nodded solemnly.

‘This is your job, do you understand? You can be as annoying as you like, but this is the really important stuff.’

‘OK, OK.’

‘So if you want to go back to London, you have to say now. Once I tell you this, you’re committed to the end.’

Katie looked around her. Motes from the leaves floated in the beams of sunlight. There was a gentle rustle of breeze through the trees. The peaty earth gave off a rich, dank odour underneath her feet. Without thinking, she leaned her hand out and felt the stump, the lichen damp and the wood flaky underneath her fingers. It felt effortlessly strong, one of the anchors of the world that stretched far beneath the earth. Harry watched her, quiet for once. She wasn’t always a stuck-up harridan, he supposed. When she kept her mouth shut for more than ten seconds, she was almost attractive.

Katie looked up, and seemed surprised to see Harry staring at her. He dropped his gaze immediately.

‘Um, OK,’ said Katie, who had indeed been a little taken aback by the intensity of his slightly craggy stare. He still looked like a young Gordon Brown, but there was a weird bit of her wondering if that was really such a bad thing. It surprised her so much she wasn’t exactly expecting to say what she said next. ‘OK. Yes, I’m ready. I’m staying.’

His face suddenly cracked into a grin that looked like the sun coming out.

‘What?’ said Katie crossly. ‘Stop looking at me like that. What, you think I won’t make it?’

‘No,’ said Harry, who was as flustered by his idiotic grin as she was. ‘Don’t know what I was thinking of.’

‘Good. So, what’s this big secret then?’

Harry took a deep breath as his thoughts instantly returned to more serious matters. ‘Well,
Gealach Coille
isn’t protected.’

‘What do you mean? I thought all forests were protected?’

‘Well. We’re victims of our own success really. We’ve hit our quotas on replanting; on environmental impact, and, well, I already explained about the deer.’

‘They can’t pull this down!’ said Katie, outraged suddenly. ‘This has been here longer than anything, than any one of them!’

‘Yes,’ Harry agreed earnestly.

‘And there’s millions of animals living here.’

‘Yes.’

‘And the fairies would be furious.’

‘Let’s head back to the car,’ said Harry.

‘So what are they going to do with it?’

‘Well, they can’t knock it down completely – yet. But they can clear a great deal away and build…ahem,’ Harry cleared his throat as if he couldn’t quite bring himself to say the word.

‘Yes?’

‘Um, I believe they want to build a golf course of some kind.’

‘They just want to chop everything down right here – for a golf course?’

Harry nodded.

‘But that’s just
stupid.
Plus, imagine, golfers everywhere. They’ll all wear yellow sweaters and toast the Queen.’

‘Quite,’ said Harry. ‘Although to be quite honest, I wouldn’t care if it was a convent for sick children. I really don’t want to lose this forest.’

He fondled Francis’s ears, who had been too lazy to come for the walk and was firmly ensconced in the front seat, pretending to be asleep. Katie climbed around into the back without comment.

‘And once they’ve got planning for that, they get it for anything. Petrol stations, Holiday Inns, a stupid airport or something.’

Katie sat in the back of the Land-Rover, looking out of the tarpaulin. Brilliant pink rays of sun were hitting the tops of the trees. They looked as though they were on fire.

‘Well – and don’t take this the wrong way, OK, I’m just playing devil’s advocate…’

Harry’s grunt indicated that he rarely thought of her as anything but.

‘…but it’s progress, isn’t it? Isn’t it what people want? Won’t it bring a lot of money to the area? Isn’t it a good thing?’

‘Now that,’ said Harry, stabbing the steering wheel with his finger, ‘is exactly what I’d expect that prick from the newspaper to say.’

‘I’m just
saying,’
said Katie.

‘Every single part of this country is “developed”,’ growled Harry. ‘They’ve concreted over all of the south, and now they’re after us. And they won’t be happy until they’ve squeezed every bit of profit out of the soil, and covered it all with golf courses and Starbucks and McDonalds. There’s nothing wrong with our area. Bring outside money in and the same thing happens as it does everywhere else: people can’t afford to buy houses in the towns they were born in and neighbour falls out with neighbour.’

‘You know, you talk like someone a lot older than you are,’ said Katie. ‘But I see your point.’

‘I just think,’ said Harry, ‘that they ought to leave just some of the country as it is. Just a tiny wee bit. Leave us alone. Give the damn country a little space to breathe.’

‘So, why’s it a secret?’

‘Well,’ said Harry, ‘I was kind of hoping that we could fend them off and nobody in the town would find out. And that’s your job.’

He drew the Land-Rover to a halt some way further on. They’d been sitting in silence for ages.

‘There’s one last place I want to show you,’ he said, clambering down and disappearing into the trees. Katie could hear a whooshing noise as she headed after him.

‘What?’ she yelled. God, it was dark in here. She could just see a flash of Harry’s coat ahead.

‘Are you going to leave me out on the hillside for wolves?’

Harry turned around to face her. ‘What kind of boss do you think I am…Actually, don’t answer that.’

Behind her, Katie noticed Francis hopping down from his seat and following them into the woods. She threw Harry a dirty look, which he ignored and continued thrashing on.

After ten minutes of this, during which Katie was really beginning to regret the afternoon’s rapprochement, the thick black coils of the trees suddenly beamed a canopy and she emerged blinking into the golden late-afternoon light. Ahead was a huge tumbling waterfall, crashing through shiny, moss-covered rocks, ending in a deep pool that meandered off into a river through the trees at the far side. This was obviously the source of the crashing noise Katie had heard coming through the woods.

‘It’s magnificent,’ she smiled.

Harry nodded. ‘I know. Come here – drink some of the water.’

Francis had already run up to the side of the pool and was lapping enthusiastically.

‘It’s got a dog’s tongue in it,’ complained Katie.

‘Don’t be a woose. You can drink from above it if you like.’

‘Don’t birds pee in it?’

‘Do you pee in your sink?’

‘No, although I’ve known some fellows that did.’

The water was the coldest, clearest, most refreshing Katie had ever tasted. It chilled her body right through to her stomach and was sweet and clean. She scooped it up with both hands and felt like throwing it over her face.