When the Music Stops (19 page)

“I hope it was okay that I took them without asking. I want you to have a happy remembrance of your year dancing.”

Marta clutched the pillow to her chest. “Oh, Mom. It’s wonderful. I, I feel so, I don’t know, so strange when I see them; like my dancing never happened. This is a wonderful gift, and I’ll cherish it forever.”

“I wanted you to think about all the ballets you’ve performed, all the roles you’ve danced, and all the wonderful experiences you’ve had. I hope you’ll think of your successes when you look at the pillow.”

Marta wiped away her happy tears and smiled. “I will. I just thought I’d have many more years to dance. It was silly to expect to earn a solo after collecting eighty-four ribbons. I’d need twice that number at least.”

“Maybe you
have
reached one goal, honey. It may not be a goal you’d thought much about. You’ve become a mentor to two young dancers; that keeps you involved in ballet. And look at your kinder classes. You’re introducing music and movement to little children. Your other classes allow you to share your love of dance.”

Could that be true? Was she missing the lights and performing, or did she miss the music and choreography? Could teaching satisfy her dreams, or would returning to the stage provide the only way to realize her deepest desire. She’d need to make her decision before too much time away from performing intervened and ended that possibility.

10

M
arta looked out from her window seat, mid-plane. Her flight last spring she’d hardly known who she was or where she was headed. She’d flown to visit Bartley in the private clinic in Pennsylvania. How had Bartley allowed her diet pills to overtake her life? Seeing her so frail and unable to overcome her problems made Marta shiver. She missed her every day. Such a waste. Marta thanked herself for not allowing those same pills to ruin her life.

Despite her disappointing Steve, this trip to Billings promised to be a happy experience. She’d make time to see Lynne, Mrs. B., and the little girls and then talk things through with Steve. She might visit Madame as well, once she heard how the little girls danced during the
Nutcracker
performances.

The flight through clouds and rain provided time for Marta to consider her future. Steve looked ahead to his career as a newspaper reporter. She needed to decide how long she’d stay with Lindsay or if she wanted to leave. What if Steve ended up on the east coast? Would she move to be near where his plans took him? Maybe.

Deplaning, she moved with the crush of passengers into the small terminal and toward the baggage claim. She spotted Steve standing as close to the gate doorway as possible, holding a small bouquet of daisies and roses. His smile reassured her their relationship survived her slip-up with Dennis.

Her knees turned to gelatin as she stepped into his embrace.

“Finally.” Steve held her tightly, then released her to arm’s length before pulling her back into a hug. “I didn’t think you’d ever get here. I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Tears slid down her face and onto his overcoat.

He handed her the flowers, then grabbed her free hand and towed her through the terminal.

The crush of people waiting around the luggage pick-up area provided time for them to stand to one side to exchange guarded smiles, warm embraces, and gentle kisses.

Steve whispered in her ear, “God, you’re beautiful, Marta. I look at your photo ten times a day, but seeing you here, I realize I’ve missed you.”

Marta remembered the comfort of melding into his hug and nodded in fear that speaking would break the spell or that she’d wake up and find everything so far had been a lovely dream.

When Steve had snagged her bag, he pulled her hand, dragging her through the airport at a near run. “Let’s get back to my folks’ place. I have a surprise waiting for you.”

“What surprise?”

“You’ll find out shortly. Just hurry!”

A blast of arctic air hit Marta in the face as they exited the terminal. She buttoned her gray winter coat, the one Steve gave her last year, and tied her red scarf around her neck. As they crossed the parking lot, she spotted Steve’s trusty Chevy. When he landed a good paying job he’d be able to afford the Thunderbird he’d always wanted—if he still wanted it.

Once they reached his family’s home, he whisked her inside and shouted, “We’re here! Where is everyone?”

As Marta removed her coat and scarf, the double doors to the living room opened. She turned to see everyone she treasured standing there: Lynne, Mrs. B., Shorty, and James, as well as the little dancers: Tracy, Brenda, Carmen, and Lucy.

Marta gasped.

“Surprise!” A group shout erupted, followed by wild clapping.

Before she could react, Steve guided her toward his parents, standing to one side. “Mother, Father, you remember my special friend, Marta.”

“Welcome, Marta,” smiled his mother as she extended her hand to Marta. “We’re glad to see you.”

“Thank you for inviting me,” Marta said.

Steve’s father stood with his hands clasped in front of him and a smile on his face. “Welcome, Marta. I appreciate your helping Steve write about the ballet last year.”

Marta felt her skin prickle as they shook hands. Last year she’d called him the grumpy guy in the glass office before she knew he was Steve’s father as well as the editor of the paper. “Helping Steve was fun. He did all the work. I just filled in a few details.”

The room hummed with expectation as Steve’s parents greeted her then stepped aside. In the next instant tears and laughter filled the room. The little girls wrapped her in hugs and chatter, all trying to speak to her at once.

Lynne grabbed her next. “Finally,” she laughed. “It’s been so hard to not spill the beans. Welcome back!”

Marta hugged Lynne and saw Mrs. B. standing nearby, smiling. She reached out to her, inviting her to join in the hug. “Mrs. B., I’m so glad to see you. How are you?”

“I’m fine, dear. So glad you’ve come back. Bet you’re finding our weather much colder than you remember.”

“You’re right. It’s like stepping into the freezer lockers on Callow.”

Shorty and James hung back, waiting for Marta to seek them out. When they pushed their hands forward, she grabbed them into hugs. Everyone laughed. “How are my two handymen doing?”

“Fine, fine,” James said. “But it’s awfully quiet without you.”

“Not always,” Shorty said. “When Lynne and those little dancers are in the basement, it feel like you’re there too.”

After the hugging and crying ended, Marta surveyed the living room. A massive Christmas tree filled one corner. Its lush ornaments and bubble lights gave the room a silken glow. Couches and chairs had been arranged to accommodate the crowd of people and focused on the tree. Once everyone was seated, hot beverages and mid-day sandwiches were served, followed by conversation ricocheting from one topic to another.

Lynne signaled to the little girls and led them from the room. When she returned she stood near the tree. “Ladies and gentlemen, the newest members of the ballet academy have a surprise for all of you. They’ll perform their dance from the
Nutcracker
. It’s the opening scene where children enter and dance around the Christmas tree. May I present Brenda, Tracy, Carmen, and Lucy.”

The girls wore ball costumes as they danced and smiled at their audience, giving Marta’s heart another wonderful surprise. Lynne had taught them well. Madame should be proud to include them in the new ballet academy.

After their curtsy and the clapping ended and the girls accepted compliments, a flurry of gift giving commenced, covering the plush carpet with knee-deep remains of Christmas paper. Marta had filled her luggage with loads of presents: a book of Swedish recipes for Mrs. B., colorful socks for James and Shorty, a blue sweater with seed beads on the collar for Lynne, and white silk fans with trailing gold tassels for the little girls. She’d tucked in books about the northwest for Steve’s parents and passed around snapshots of the sets and costumes she’d made. For Steve she’d selected a gray and blue silk tie and a note:
Good for one briefcase of your choosing
.

Hours later, well after a sit-down dinner and more conversation, the guests headed out, promising Marta that she’d see them again before she left. Steve’s parents said their good nights, leaving Marta and Steve alone to enjoy the Christmas tree.

Steve sat with his arm around Marta. “Were you surprised? I hope so because everyone was so excited to see you.”

“This was a marvelous surprise!” Marta leaned into Steve and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for this and for understanding about earlier this month. I acted foolishly.”

He tightened his arms around her. “I’m glad you’re here now. We have a lot to talk about, but I want to save most of it for our time at the cabin. Your friends want to see you again, so Lynne and I have worked out a schedule.” He handed her a paper from his sports coat pocket. “Ready? It’s a work of journalistic genius.”

Marta looked over the list and shook her head. “You’ve filled every waking minute.”

Steve grinned. “Yes, and I’m your chauffeur. I’ve saved a couple of meals for you to get to know my parents, so we’ll have dinner Tuesday and Thursday evenings.” He studied Marta’s face and continued. “We‘ll change anything else you want, but I’m keeping New Year’s Eve and Day for us to talk.”

h

On Monday Marta slept in, then spent the afternoon with Lynne and the little girls at the boarding house. They danced and talked together followed by dinner with the boarders. Being back, sitting at her place at the table, made the intervening time shrink to feel like days instead of months since she’d lived here.

When she returned to Steve’s family home, she begged off staying up and talking. After Steve kissed her good night, she closed the guest room door and stood looking out the window, savoring her return to the boarding house and the simple life she’d lived there before her injury. Could she build a calm, peaceful life with Steve? Could she find enough energy to become part of a couple? If she made a commitment to him, she’d need to find a way to keep a part of herself alive and not become lost in his world like she did last spring. So far on this trip he had organized everything. Did he also plan to organize her life if they became a couple?

Tuesday belonged to Lynne. Steve drove her to Lynne’s apartment at Lake Elmo. “I’ll pick you up at four o’clock so you’ll have time to get ready for dinner with my parents.” He kissed her and waved to Lynne as he got back into his car and drove away.

“Marta, Marta,” laughed Lynne. “That man loves you. He organized everything for your visit, right down to asking me to bring the record so the little girls could dance for you.”

Marta sighed and flopped down in one of Lynne’s chairs. “I know. He’s intense about things, especially since he saw me kiss Dennis. I don’t know where we’re headed. His future is unsettled; so is mine. If we resolve things, I’m afraid he’ll ask me to become engaged again. I can’t say yes. But I don’t want him to give up on me, and I don’t want to give him up either. I’ve had so many changes, and I’m just now feeling like I know who I am by myself. I don’t want to lose my identity in his world.”

Lynne played with a loose thread on her chair. “Give it time. I doubt you can have it both ways, Marta. Don’t analyze everything. Try to go with the flow like I’m planning to do.” Lynne laughed and sat down. “My aunt is considering moving back east next spring. I’m thinking I’ll ask Mrs. B. if I can rent your old room if it’s available while I figure out what I’m going to do.”

Marta giggled. “Thinking about you and Carol sharing any space is too funny. Do you think you could share a bathroom without strangling her?”

“Maybe. Or perhaps she’ll graduate and be gone before I need to move. I think the college should have a time limit on students like her who act like prima donnas but slog along at a snail’s pace.”

Marta studied Lynne’s face. “You’re planning to stay in Billings to dance, aren’t you?”

Lynne shrugged. “I’m not sure. Madame Cosper is on my case ever since you left. She’s ignored me for solos even though I’m stronger than many of the other dancers. I feel in my bones that she’s written me off, and I’m not going to stay here and be ignored. She’s never acknowledged that the little girls were capable of stepping in to dance in the
Nutcracker,
so maybe she’s holding a grudge against me like she did with you. I’ll be able to tell more once classes resume.”

“Where will you dance if you leave?”

Lynne broke off the thread with a quick snap. “How should I know? She’ll probably refuse to give me any letters of recommendation, so I may need to start over. Going back two years isn’t too bad. At least I’m not fighting injuries like you are.” Lynne grimaced. “Oh, sorry, Marta. I didn’t mean anything, I…”

“It’s okay. I know I’m losing my dance edge, but I’m not ready to give up yet.”

Lynne popped up to her feet. “Good for you. Now, let’s go shopping or do something before it snows.”

Lynne and Marta ate lunch at the Bison Cafe to relive their old times before they wandered the shops of Billings for after Christmas sales. Both returned empty handed. Lynne didn’t really need anything; Marta lacked spending money.