When No One Is Watching (15 page)

“Yes, because of you!” she shrieked. She was sobbing now and having difficulty speaking. “That creep Eddie Janek, the biggest derelict in our school, he wouldn’t stop harassing me since he saw you at the football game. He kept calling you a low-life drunk. Jason told him to shut up, and Eddie just got even louder, so Jason punched him. Now Eddie’s in the hospital with a broken jaw and Jason’s off the team. All those scholarship offers—gone!

“Allie, I had no idea. I didn’t mean to—”

“Stop! I don’t want to hear it! There’s nothing you can say. You’re killing yourself, and you’re dragging down everyone around you!” She stopped ranting and put a hand over her eyes, her shoulders shaking as a fit of quiet sobbing overtook her. After a few moments, she looked up at him, the fury now gone, replaced by a look of utter dismay. “I can’t take this anymore,” she said despondently. She turned away and ran out of the house, the sound of her quiet sobs echoing in Danny’s ears.

Danny stood and walked to the window. He saw his daughter climb into Jason’s car and drive away. He stumbled into his bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He stared into the mirror and recoiled at the hollow-eyed drunk staring back at him. He turned away, unable to look at himself. He sat down on his bed, tears flowing down his cheeks. His quiet weeping quickly gave way to a fit of loud, uncontrollable sobs.

He reached into a dresser drawer, pulled out an unopened pint of Jack Daniels, and staggered into the backyard. He unscrewed the cap, but didn’t pull it off, staring hatefully at the bottle for a long time. He began shaking his head. “No more,” he said quietly to himself. “No more,” he said louder, resolve creeping into his voice. “No goddamn more!” he shouted as he hurled the bottle against the brick wall of his house.

CHAPTER 23
B
lair and Kimberly Van Howe sat hand in hand, enjoying the comfort of the luxurious stretch limousine whisking them off to O’Hare Airport. They savored the quiet and the solitude. The days following the election had been just as hectic as the days leading up to it. Their schedules were jammed with celebratory dinners, cocktail parties, non-stop phone calls, e-mails, visits from well-wishers, and interviews with the seemingly endless stream of media types, eager to get some face time with the newly elected congressman.

 

They should have been exhausted, but they weren’t. They were riding a wave of exhilaration like nothing they had ever experienced before—exhilaration over the election results, over the prospect of moving to Washington, and over the realization that they were embarking on a new adventure, with a future that looked dazzlingly bright.

Kimberly squeezed her husband’s hand and gave him a warm, wet kiss on the lips. He pulled her close to him and, for an instant, thought about making love right there in the backseat of the limo. He realized that probably would not be considered “conduct becoming a United States congressman,” so he pulled back and stared deeply into his wife’s eyes. She gazed back at him with a longing and affection that had been lacking for years. Their relationship had cooled over time. It wasn’t that it was strained; they had just drifted apart. But now she seemed warm again. Somehow the campaign had re-kindled the romance in their lives. They saw the best in each other on the campaign trail, and were proud of one another, each acutely aware of how much the other was bringing to their new partnership.

They were on their way to Washington for a long weekend getaway. They had thought briefly about heading to a remote tropical island for some well-deserved rest and relaxation, but they both felt their new home beckoning and decided they couldn’t wait to visit. The new congressional session was still two months away, but Kimberly was eager to start house hunting, and Blair wanted to begin learning the city and making acquaintances. Kevin Larmon, a long-term congressman from a nearby district, had offered to show him around, and Blair was more than happy to take him up on that offer.

“How do you feel, Congressman?” Kimberly purred. “I feel like we’re a couple of high school kids going to our first big dance,” Blair gushed. “I’m not sure what to expect or how to behave, but it’s a thrill just to be going!”

“Me, too, babe,” she replied warmly. “We’ve got a great new life ahead of us. It doesn’t get much better than this!”

“It’s just about perfect, sweetheart.” He sat back and sighed wistfully. “The only thing missing is Danny. I wish we were able to share this with him.”

Kimberly’s gaze turned hard. “You really know how to ruin a nice moment,” she snapped at him. “Danny Moran is out of your life. He’s part of your past and has no place in your future. Get over it!”

The mood in the car became subdued, and they rode the rest of the way to the airport in silence. Their spirits lifted once they boarded their plane, as they were recognized and treated as celebrities by the flight crew and countless passengers, who offered excited greetings and congratulations. Just as on the campaign trail, it energized them and imbued them with a feeling of excitement and self-satisfaction.

“You’re like a rock star, honey!” Kimberly remarked, feeling giddy again. “Better get used to it!”

Blair’s spirits soared even further as the plane approached Dulles Airport and he beheld the nation’s capital in all of its splendor from the air.

Kevin Larmon met them at the airport and acted as their personal escort for the next three days while the Van Howes looked at homes in Georgetown and received an insider’s tour of the nation’s capital. To their surprise and great pleasure, the rock star treatment continued. Everywhere they went, people seemed to already know the newly elected congressman from the third district of the State of Illinois.

“How do these people know me already?” Blair wondered aloud.

“You’ll be amazed at life in Washington, Blair,” Larmon replied. “It’s a pretty close-knit scene in the political circles around here. Everybody knows everybody else, and there aren’t many secrets. Your campaign and election got a lot of attention around here. You’re a big wheel already, I promise you. People can’t wait to meet you!”

As the Van Howes strolled across Washington Mall the evening before their return to Chicago, Blair stopped and put his hands on his wife’s shoulders. “I’ll make you proud, Kim. This is the role I was born to play. Just watch me!”

Kimberly stared back, a determined look on her face. “And this is only the beginning,” she said.

CHAPTER 24
D
anny’s hands shook as he picked up the telephone. Partly, that was because his body wasn’t quite through the detoxification process, but mostly it was because of his apprehension about the phone call he was about to make. He hadn’t seen or spoken with Allie since she stormed out of his house on election night. She had left a message on his answering machine the following day, informing him that she would be staying with her friend Megan for awhile. She had left explicit instructions telling him not to call her. She said she needed time alone to think things through and would call him when she was ready to talk. That was eight days ago, and she hadn’t returned home or called.

 

It was a few minutes before three o’clock, and Danny realized he had a short window to catch her before tennis practice began. He took a deep breath and dialed her cell phone.

“Allie, it’s Dad.” His voice sounded shaky and he knew it. “Can you talk for a few minutes?”

She hesitated. “Okay,” she said, sounding distant.

“I’m calling to apologize,” he began, his voice thick with emotion. “For last week, for my drinking, for everything I’ve put you through.” He took another deep breath to keep his voice from breaking. “You mean more to me than anything in the world, and I’m so sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you.” He could hear her quietly sniffling on the other end of the line. He continued, his voice breaking as the sound of his daughter’s weeping unleashed his own tears. “I’ve been so consumed with guilt and shame over everything that’s happened that I couldn’t look outside of myself and see how it was affecting you—how I was affecting you. I don’t blame you for leaving, and I don’t blame you if you don’t want to come home, but I wanted to let you know that I’ve stopped drinking. I haven’t had a drop since I saw you last. I’m going to try as hard as I possibly can to stop for good this time. I really mean that.”

“I’m sorry, too, Daddy,” Allie said, choking back her sobs. “I just couldn’t stand to see you that way. I couldn’t bear to stand by and watch you slowly kill yourself, but I shouldn’t have run off. It was selfish. I should’ve been there for you. I’m … so … sorry.” She began crying harder and was unable to speak.

“Allie, stop, please! You have nothing to apologize for! This is all on me,” he said with a sense of urgency. “Look, sweetheart, I know my life is in shambles, but I’m going to fix it. I’m ready to move on. I can’t live like this anymore, either, and I can’t do this to you—I won’t! I really hope you’ll come home, Allie-Baba,” he said, calling her by her childhood nickname. “I don’t blame you if you won’t, but you’ll be off to college next fall, and I’d love to spend as much time with you as I can between now and then.”

Megan glanced over at Allie from the tennis court and hurried to her side when she saw Allie crying. Allie looked at her friend through tear-filled eyes and waved her off, turning her back and walking in the opposite direction. “Daddy, I’d love to come home—I really would—but I’ll only do it on one condition.”

“Name it, sweetheart.”

“I know you really mean it when you say you’ll quit drinking, but remember, you’ve tried before, countless times, and you always slipped back into it. This problem is bigger than you. It’s bigger than both of us. You need help. You’ve got to realize that. I can’t go through this anymore unless you agree to get some help. Will you do that? For me? For both of us?”

Danny had always dreaded that subject. He’d been able to quit on his own before, usually during trials or after Karen had really lit into him following an all-nighter. And he’d gone without a drink for a full week now. But Allie was right, and he knew it. He’d always slipped back into the habit. “I’ll get help, Allie,” he said with quiet resolve. “I’m not sure where to turn, but I’ll figure it out, I promise.”

“Let me help you, Daddy,” Allie said, her voice taking on a tone of enthusiasm. “I’ve been talking to some people about this. I hope that doesn’t embarrass you, but I’ve been amazed at how many people have family members with the same problem.” She was talking fast and excitedly now. “I’ve heard some real success stories about AA. Jason’s uncle has been involved with the AA program for years. He says it’s absolutely changed his life, and he’d be happy to take you to a meeting. Can I have him call you?”

It didn’t bother Danny that his daughter had been talking to others about his drinking. He was way beyond embarrassment. To the contrary, he felt encouraged that Allie was truly concerned about him and hadn’t written him off. Still, he instinctively avoided her question. “How’s Jason?” he asked. “I’ve been thinking a lot about him, and I feel terrible about the position I put him in.”

“He’s okay, Dad. He doesn’t blame you. He’s upset with himself for losing his cool. He knows that someone as big and strong as he is can’t go around hitting people. At least he wasn’t thrown out of school. He may have to go to a small college next year and then try to transfer to a Division I program, but he’ll figure it out, and he’ll be okay. He’s a special guy, Daddy, and he won’t let this keep him from his dreams. But back to you—what about AA? Like I said, his uncle will take you. He’s a great guy. You’ll like him. Can I have him call you?”

Danny thought for a long moment. For a seasoned trial lawyer and accomplished public speaker, he was terrified at the thought of standing up in front of a roomful of strangers and saying, “Hello, my name is Danny, and I’m an alcoholic.” But he was even more afraid of losing his daughter. “Okay, I’ll go,” he heard himself say, as if the words were coming from somewhere else. “Tell him to call me.”

“I will! Thanks, Daddy!” Allie gushed. “I’ve been praying that this is the answer for you.”

“I hope so, too, Allie.”

“I’ll be home for dinner, Pops.”

“I can’t wait to see you, little girl,” Danny replied, wiping the tears of relief from his eyes, his spirits soaring at the thought.

“Me, too. By the way, Jason’s uncle’s name is Andy. Oh, and Pops?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“We’ll get through this together. I’ll always be there for you, I promise. I love you so much!” She hung up.

CHAPTER 25
D
anny walked into the South Side Diner and looked around. It was empty, which was not surprising, since it was four thirty in the afternoon. Danny had eaten at the diner countless times, but it was invariably well past midnight, and he had never been there sober. It was situated at 104th and Western Avenue, centrally located among the neighborhood’s many drinking establishments; therefore, it served as a popular destination for the late-night crowd who came by in droves, either hoping that a hearty meal might soak up the alcohol in their system or just because they needed a place to go after the bars closed at 2:00 a.m.

 

“Hi, George.” Danny nodded at the humorless proprietor, a muscular Greek in his early fifties with hawk-like features, dark penetrating eyes, and a flattop haircut.

George gave Danny the same stern, disapproving look he always gave him, most likely because Danny was typically stone drunk when he stumbled through the doors of the South Side Diner.

“How you doing, guy?” George replied in a thick Greek accent, as he always did. It was his standard greeting, delivered without the slightest hint of friendliness and with no expectation of a response.

For an instant, Danny thought about leaving, but resisted the temptation and moved toward a booth in the back. As he seated himself, he saw a big man with a shock of bushy white hair bustle into the restaurant. “What’s up, Georgie?” the man called out in a loud voice to the proprietor, pumping his hand.