Authors: Unknown
“That’s right,” Angie exclaimed. “I had forgotten about your nausea episodes in Florida!” Right then I knew she was lying.
“Whatever Angie, I see you suspected this all along, huh? You didn’t want to fill me in on your little inkling?”
Angie smirked and gave a resigned eye-roll. “I knew if I said anything you’d deny it and come up with a dozen other diagnoses for your ‘condition’ and you know I don’t have the patience for that!” She chuckled. “So how long are we keeping this a secret? I mean, we should at least tell Amber and Feliz, right? Listen to me talking like we’re having a baby together!” She laughed and so did I.
“Let’s call them over now. Ooooh and tell Feliz to stop on the way and get some Takis and red vines!” I shrieked, and to my surprise my mouth actually began to water.
That is a damned shame. I’m already having ridiculous cravings. This has got to be a mental thing.
I told myself right then that I wouldn’t go too far with the eating and cravings.
Angie just shook her head and dialed Feliz’s number. “And so it begins.”
*****
Forty-five minutes later when both Feliz and Amber had arrived, I sat them both down on the sofa and made my announcement. “I kind of suspected one of you was pregnant when you put in an order for red vines and Takis. I thought it was Angie!?” Feliz nudged Angie with her elbow. Angie answered with an exaggerated eye roll.
“Wait,” Amber burst in with concern. “You’re pregnant and last week we were drinking and skydiving and partying! Oh my gosh!”
“Amber,” I breathed. “I’m really gonna need you to tap into your inner badass for this one ok? I had a few tequila shots and yes, I jumped out of a plane but sweetheart, I’m
still
pregnant! In fact, I’m a week more pregnant now than I was then so you can relax.” I knew it sounded condescending, but I honestly couldn’t deal with Amber fussing over me for an entire nine months.
One of us won’t make it full term.
Finding out Amber hadn’t always been so straight-laced had been a blessing in disguise and I planned to take full advantage of her ability to vag-up if necessary.
The look on Amber’s face said she was only a little wounded. “I was just showing concern for you Erin!” She brushed off my comments with a wave of her hand. “Anyway, when are you going to tell Josh? I’m sure he’ll be thrilled!!”
Damn! I didn’t think this all the way through before I called them over.
Angie knew the whole story so it was a no-brainer to tell her first, but now I would have to fill Feliz and Amber in on everything that happened with me and Mike and how it had ended my relationship with Josh.
Oh well, time to spill it.
I sucked in a breath and blurted everything out all at once. “It turns out I wasn’t crazy. Mike actually was in Vegas. We met to clear the air and ended up sleeping together… a couple of times. When I got back I was going to tell Josh it was over but he found out that I cheated and that’s why we broke up. Josh and I were sleeping together for months and I didn’t get pregnant but here I am a month after sleeping with Mike and I’m knocked up so I’m not sure if this is Josh’s baby or Mike’s.”
Amber and Feliz sat there like statues. Unblinking. Not breathing. Just… stunned. Finally, Feliz recovered. “Whaaaat?!! How did all this happen and you never said a word.” Of course, her eyes shot straight toward Angie. “You knew?!”
Angie let out a huff. “Yes, I knew, but it wasn’t my place to tell you. You know I don’t believe in talking about my friends behind their backs, so if any of you tell me something. That is where it stops. Anyway, we all know now so let’s get back to the business of celebrating Erin’s good news. There’s plenty of time to talk about the men. I want to get back to the baby! We’re gonna be aunties!!” Angie squealed as she looked from Feliz to Amber. Their expressions softened into huge smiles. None of us had siblings so we had all adopted one another’s children as our nieces and nephews.
At that moment, it really hit me.
I’m joining the mommy club.
I looked over at Angie and saw she was fighting back her tears. Only the two of us knew just how much this moment really meant to me. I blinked hard and fast to stop my tears before they came and returned my attention to Feliz and Amber. “Listen, I apologize for not telling you. Things began and ended so quickly with Mike and I only recently started talking to him more frequently. We haven’t slept together since Vegas, but he’s helping me put together my showcase.” They both nodded their understanding. “Josh and I are friends and our relationship is amicable. Either of them would be a great dad, but today I want to celebrate the fact that
I’m
going to be a mother!” Instinctively my hand drifted down from my chest to my stomach.
I can’t believe that right now, at this moment, there is a life growing inside me.
I closed my eyes and said an internal prayer of thanks for being given a second chance at such a gift.
It was the feel of arms enfolding me that caused me to open my eyes. Amber, Feliz and Angie encircled me and their voices blended in a mix of congratulations and words of encouragement. I had never felt more loved than I did at that moment. This was my family and soon, there would be a new member to multiply the love ten times over.
Feliz broke away from the group and sat back down on the couch. “So I guess you need to make a doctor’s appointment with your O.B.” I saw both her medical and mother mind working. “Maybe you could narrow it down some if you found out how far along you are? I’m sure you don’t want to risk doing the DNA test via amniocentesis, right?”
“I’m not sure if knowing how far along I am would give me any insight and no, I don’t plan to do DNA testing before birth. To me it won’t matter as much who the father is because
I
will be the mother regardless. I can definitely wait to find out whether it will be Josh or Mike who I’m connected to for life.” I still wasn’t ready to focus on how and when I’d tell the guys. I wasn’t looking forward to doing it or seeing their reactions.
Angie flopped down beside Feliz on the couch. “Well, I just need to know how far we are from twenty weeks so I’ll know if I need to be shopping for a niece or a nephew.”
Amber had perked up completely. “I miss having a little baby. They’re so small and sweet. I can’t wait!”
“Yeah, having a little one around again will be good for all of us! I’m really happy for you too Erin,” Feliz said. “I hate to cut out on this celebration but my shift starts in four hours. I need to try to get some sleep before then.”
“Since when do you work nights?” I asked with a raised brow.
“Since I agreed to take Carol’s shift for her this weekend, so she could be in her sister’s wedding. Business has slowed down some for Mario at the auto shop so the extra shifts help to bridge the gap. Anyway, I’ll see you all later. Congrats again,” Feliz said with a wave and headed out the door.
“I’d better be going too,” Amber said as she made her way to the door and Angie was right behind her.
“I’m gonna head out with them, hon. Call me tomorrow.”
“Thanks for coming over. I really appreciate and needed the support!” I told them as they walked down the porch steps. They turned and gave me a wave as they got in their cars and drove away. I stepped back inside and plunked my body down onto the couch and turned on the T.V. My lids drooped closed and it wasn’t long before Jimmy Fallon was watching me.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The smell of fresh paint was fragrant in the room, but I was armed with a paper face-mask and a bottle of Pepto-Bismol. When I’d sat down three hours ago to begin my project, the odor had nearly overwhelmed me, but the longer I stayed, the less I could smell the strong aroma of the paint. Even though I knew they might dry out faster, I’d popped open all my jars of paint at once hoping the scent would dissipate faster and it had worked. I was making what had turned out to be a beautiful painting of a wooden elephant.
Finally.
I thought as I studied the painting. For days, I’d wanted to put my Disney images on canvas and I was pretty pleased with how the piece was shaping up. I had managed to cast just enough light and shadow to give definition and life to the wooden sculpture I’d seen. Even though it was a small canvas, the elephant was still majestic and strong. I was still contemplating how I could further enhance the picture when my phone chimed.
I slid down from the stool and leaped over to the guest bed where I had haphazardly thrown my phone. I collapsed back against the mattress and clicked on the illuminated message flashing atop the screen.
Hey Erin! It’s Josh! I haven’t spoken to you since before your trip, so I’m just checking on you. I hope you had an amazing time and are doing ok. How was the race and Florida? I hope to hear from you soon. Josh
I realized that the universe was presenting me with an opportunity to be truthful with Josh so I took it. Thus far, I hadn’t contacted him or Mike on purpose. I still hadn’t sorted out how or when I was going to break the news to them, but now the opportunity was smacking me in the face.
I may as well go ahead and get it over with. I’m sure after telling Josh, telling Mike will be no sweat.
After all, the circumstances for Josh were much more uncomfortable than for Mike. I sent Josh my response before I lost my nerve:
Hey Josh! Good to hear from you. I’d love to tell you more about Florida and some other things. Could you come by this evening after your last class?
Josh agreed to come straight over from the university and now my stomach was in a knot. I had no idea how he would take it. I didn’t want to dredge up all the hurt I’d caused him by announcing I may have potentially created a life-long reminder. Josh was the type of man who would want to make an “honest woman” of me, but I knew the thought that Mike could be the father could potentially crush him. As I sat back down in front of my painting and rinsed the brush in water, thoughts of how to break the news gently swirled in my mind.
I wasn’t getting anywhere with a way to tell Josh so I decided to shift my focus back to painting as the melodious sounds of Sara Vaughn steeped into every fiber of my being. With each whimsical stroke of the brush, the anxiety that had begun to mount slowly diminished.
At eight thirty on the dot, the doorbell rang. I grabbed an old, paint-stained hand towel off of the nightstand and wiped my hands as I stepped down the staircase toward the front door. I could see Josh peeking through the side panel glass next to the door and when I opened it, he stood there, looking exceedingly handsome in his dark blue dress shirt and brown blazer.
“Come on in.” I chewed my bottom lip nervously and stepped aside. “How’d it go with your classes today?” I was stalling.
How the hell am I going to say this?
“Would you care for a glass of wine?” I ignored his curious stare and traipsed off to the kitchen before he could work his way into that intense gaze where he studied my face and somehow read my mind. I knew it was coming and if he looked into my eyes there was no way I could hold back from telling him the truth. I was still hoping to find a way to make it eloquent and not blurt it out like word vomit.
I came back with one glass and a bottled water and sat down on the sofa. I gave a pat to the vacant space beside me and a coaxing glance. Without a word, Josh strode over and sat down. “Are you going to make me drink alone?” He said as he grabbed the glass and took a sip.
“I’m not really drinking right now, but you enjoy.” I took a big sip of my water and hoped it would dampen my dry, cotton mouth.
“Does this have anything to do with the way I found you a couple of weeks ago? I guess Mr. Patrón taught you quite a lesson, huh?”
“Well, that is
part
of the reason. The other part is why I asked you to come over.” I fixated my eyes on his.
“What are you trying to say Erin?” Josh was
really
searching my face now. I saw his eyes change and knew he was beginning to understand my unspoken words. “Erin are you trying to tell me you’re…
pregnant
?” Even though his last word came out barely above a whisper as he averted his gaze and stared thoughtfully at the carpeted space surrounding my feet, I felt the full brunt of his shock.
After a long beat, I broke the silence with the word that carried the weight of a sledgehammer as it crossed my lips. “Yes.”
I heard the release of the breath he’d been holding. I didn’t have the courage to look him in the eye and now I stared at the patch of carpet surrounding Josh’s feet.
Now for the hard part!
I thought. “Before you say anything, there’s more. Based on what I can tell, there is a possibility that either you
or
Mike could be the father. I’m so sorry to put you in the middle of all of this. Of course, I never meant for any of this to happen and to be so careless is totally outside of my character. I understand if you don’t want any part in any of it. I am not telling you this to force you into anything, I just felt like you deserved to know and I wanted to tell you early enough so it wouldn’t be a surprise.” After divulging everything and barely taking a breath between, I leaned forward against my lap and held my head in my hands. Suddenly I felt light-headed and like I might be sick.
Breathe Erin.
I coached myself through a few cleansing, calming breaths. When I could no longer take the heat of Josh’s glare against my cheek, I turned to him. His face was serious. His lips were pursed sternly together and there was a slight furrow to his brow.
“Does Mike know? Is he planning to be involved if he’s the father?”
“I haven’t told him yet and I’m not sure. I want to know
your
thoughts about this!” I hadn’t meant to come off so short, but it was too late now.
I can’t believe the first words out of his mouth are about Mike!
It had agitated me. What the hell did Mike have to do with how
he
was going to handle things?