When Love Awaits (19 page)

“With discretion.”

“I did not realize there were conditions,” he said sardonically. “So you truly do
not
care?”

A lump rose in her throat. “I do not.”

He set her down and turned away. Leonie bit her lips, despising herself.

“Why do you want me to care?” Her voice turned soft.

“A wife should care,” he said quietly.

“A wife should not be insulted with the presence of her husband’s mistress.”

Rolfe swung back around, his body taut with anger. “There was never any insult intended. I have told you she is no longer my mistress.”

“If you wanted me to believe that, my lord, you would send her away.”

“Do not ask that of me, Leonie.”

She swallowed her pride. “I
am
asking. If she means nothing to you, then you have no reason to keep her.”

“She does not…want to go,” he said tightly.

He might as well have struck her. “You put her wants above mine?” She waited for him to speak, to promise to send Amelia away. She waited, and when he did not speak, she said, “Then all you will have from me, Rolfe d’Ambert, is my contempt.”

“I will have more than that, madame.” He dragged her to him, his mouth coming down hard on hers, his kiss leaving her weak and shaken. She could not let
him overpower her again, not let him bring forth those impossible feelings.

“I hate you,” Leonie whispered, the words sounding less than convincing even to herself.

“Then I will love you despite your hatred.”

He kissed her again, and the traitorous flame leaped within her, drawing her to him despite everything. She fought and fought, and what she was fighting against wasn’t him, but her own desire.

A
MANGY hound sniffing at their feet woke Leonie and Rolfe. Rolfe rose with a roar, pretending to charge the animal. The dog simply stared at him. Leonie giggled, and Rolfe turned on her with an indignant look.

“Perhaps you could just
ask
him to leave?” she suggested, laughter in her eyes.

“You are welcome to try that,” he said.

She did. The dog simply stared at her. “I think we should let him stay,” she allowed.

Rolfe chuckled. “I think he will do just that.”

He bent down and drew her head up for a light kiss, his eyes smiling warmly into hers. Then he left her to relieve himself, and Leonie lay back on his mantle with a lighthearted sigh. They had spent the night wedged between fallen rocks and what remained of a tower wall. She had slept contented and secure in Rolfe’s arms, all of her anger and hurt washed away by his desire for her.

That was the one thing she could not discount. No matter what else stood between them, Rolfe did want her. His own anger couldn’t even withstand his desire. And knowing that was a sweet balm to Leonie’s pain.

For a while last night he made her believe that he loved her. She gloried in that feeling and all the other feelings he ignited in her. She blushed, recalling Rolfe’s
impatience. He undressed with her help, and she with his, and they made love slowly, savoring every moment, and each gentle caress. Never could she have imagined such a terrible day to end the way it had.

“Your blushes give your thoughts away, dearling.”

Leonie turned redder and Rolfe laughed, delighted. He helped her to her feet and patted her backside in a blatantly possessive way.

“Go and do what you have to,” he told her with a grin. “We have delayed here longer than anticipated.”

She hurried off, still flustered. When she returned, Rolfe was readying his horse. His back was to her, so he did not hear her approach. She paused, hesitating. Anxiety was returning. It was inconceivable that Rolfe was going to dismiss the matter of her drugging him. She hated to think of his anger returning.

She took the few steps that brought her to Rolfe’s back. Still he did not turn around, and she clutched her hands uncertainly.

“How did you find me so soon?” She tried desperately to sound casual.

“Inquiries produced results. You were seen leaving the main road. Your direction was clear, so it was not difficult to find your camp, even after dark. I did not expect to find you missing from it, however.”

He turned around slowly and eyed her.

“I—I am most grateful, my lord, that you found me when you did.”

“Do you know where they were taking you?”

“To a castle nearby. To a lord who practices extortion by using torture.” She shuddered. “I am certain you saved my life.”

“They wouldn’t have killed you, Leonie. Hurt you, but you are too valuable to kill.”

“They didn’t care who I was, or know my value. I’m sure of that.”

“They would have known your value once you told them your name.”

He said that so matter-of-factly, but what did he mean? Hers was not a name to be reckoned with. Then she recalled the reactions of the men when they realized who Rolfe was. Even the overconfident Derek had lost his courage when he realized he had taken the wife of the Black Wolf.

Leonie said reflectively, “I see now I was too isolated all those years at Pershwick. I had no idea such things could happen.”

Rolfe grunted. “How could you not know? Your neighbor was one of the worst of that kind.”

“Neighbor? Who do you mean?”

“Who else?” Rolfe said, disgusted. “Montigny and his son. No doubt his vassals were involved as well. It would help to explain why those vassals were so afraid to accept me. They undoubtedly thought I was there to see
full
justice done.”

Leonie stiffened. “I do not believe it! I have known the Montignys all my life. Sir Edmond was a good neighbor, and Alain—”

“Do not mention the boy to me,” Rolfe cut her off sharply. “And whether you believe it or not, Leonie, the Montignys were guilty of many crimes. They were careful. Their victims didn’t know where they were taken, or who collected their ransoms. And of course those who were killed could not carry tales. But Henry has received complaints from the midlands for a long time. It was only recently that he had names to match to the crimes.”

“It is unfair of you to malign a man who is dead and cannot defend himself.”

“How do you think he died, madame? There were finally enough good men aware of his activities to swear against him. He was killed resisting his arrest. His son fled before he could be brought to trial.”

“But none of this makes sense. Sir Edmond controlled all of Kempston. What need had he of unlawful gains?”

Rolfe shrugged. “He had many more keeps in Stephen’s day, keeps he was forced to dismantle. I suppose he resorted to unlawful means to re-create the wealth he was accustomed to. The man always lived extravagantly.”

Leonie recalled hearing just how extravagantly Sir Edmond had lived.

She remembered, too, vague talk of things she had not wanted to hear about. Had those rumors been true? She found it hard to believe, especially of Alain. Alain’s father may have been corrupt, but timid, fainthearted Alain? No.

But this was a poor time to begin an argument.

“Should we be going, my lord?” she said.

“I suppose Guy has been kept in suspense about his punishment long enough. Yes, let us go.”

He mounted, then lifted her up onto his horse, holding her steady as they began to move.

“What punishment? What has the master-at-arms done?” she asked.

“He put you in danger.” The destrier moved into the woods.

She gasped. “But he only followed my orders!”

“That is not the point. You were in his charge. He knew better than to lead you off the main road. He is lucky I did not kill him last night. He will receive twenty lashes tonight when we reach Crewel, and he
will be grateful that is all he will get. He knows he did wrong.”

She was horrified. “I wish you would not punish him, my lord. No one must suffer for what was my fault.” She was shouting over the horse’s hoof beats.

“You can accept the blame, Leonie, and rightly so, but you will not interfere in my judgment. The man will be punished for his carelessness, and nothing can prevent that.”

“What will be my punishment, my lord?” she asked.

“I hope you learned an important lesson last night.”

“Should you not whip me as well?” she demanded. “I was just as careless as the master-at-arms.”

“Do not tempt me, Leonie. You were more than careless,” he said in a hard voice. “Because of you I nearly came to blows with the king.”

Leonie groaned. “No.”

“Yes. I called him a liar when he insisted you were not hiding under his protection.”

“Sweet Mary!” Leonie lost her color. “I told Damian I was going to the king only to delay your following me. I did not think you would disbelieve Henry when he told you I was not there.”

“Sir Piers swore he had not seen you leave Westminster Hall. If he had not realized half my men were missing and told me so, I would have torn Henry’s hall apart looking for you.”

“You—you did not really call Henry a liar, did you?”

“I did.”

“God’s Mercy, he will never forgive you! What have I done?”

“He has already forgiven me,” Rolfe said a little less severely. “He is not an insensitive man. He allowed my behavior was understandable. He even told
me of your conversation with him, to help me understand your behavior. I was furious, knowing you could tell Henry why you will not accept me, but you could not tell me.”

There was a silence, and then he said, “Now I find it was not even the truth, what you told Henry.”

“It
was
the truth.”

“Was it? You swore last evening that you do not care.”

Leonie opened her mouth, then thought better of speaking. They had been through this and gotten nowhere. He had made his position clear. He would not give up Amelia. She would not ask him again.

Rolfe sighed. “Do not drug me again, Leonie. And never run from me again either.”

“Yes, my lord.”

He said no more.

H
ARVESTING had begun on the Crewel manor lands, that portion of the lands devoted to the lord’s use. But Crewel lacked a bailiff to oversee the villagers’ work, and although Leonie was able to do the overseeing, she recalled the animosity of the villagers to her and decided not to try. She did appoint an acting bailiff, however, the village headman. It was an unheard of choice, but a logical one, for the serfs would listen to him.

She had made the decision on her own, because Rolfe was away. He had been gone for all of the two weeks since their return from London.

His absence was only one of the difficult things Leonie had suffered since the night Guy of Brent received his twenty lashes. Rolfe left directly after the punishment for the siege at Warling, and hadn’t returned since.

Warling Keep was nearly fifteen miles north of Crewel, a long distance. She understood that he couldn’t come home, but she missed him. She caught herself listening for the sound of horses approaching, and even considered riding to Warling herself, but she knew Rolfe wouldn’t approve.

Missing Rolfe was not the only unhappiness in her life, either. There was the endless presence of Lady Amelia.

One evening, at dinner, Sir Evarard was called away from the table, which left the two women with only his empty chair between them.

Although Leonie had every intention of being civil to Amelia, it was not easy. The other woman positively radiated smugness. Leonie was perplexed by this. What could be the reason for Amelia’s attitude?

That night at dinner, when Sir Evarard was gone, Amelia asked Leonie for a potion to quell nausea.

“Should you not be in bed if you are ill?” Leonie asked her.

“Heavens no!” Amelia laughed. “There is nothing wrong with me that another month’s time won’t cure. I have this difficulty only at meals.”

Leonie grasped the meaning then. “You are insinuating something, Lady Amelia. What is it?” She meant there to be no mystery about this.

“Surely Rolfe told you!” Amelia seemed aghast. “It is hardly something that can be kept secret.”

“You are saying you will bear my husband a child?” Leonie said levelly.

“The babe is Rolfe’s, yes,” Amelia replied. “He does not deny it.”

So much fell into place in that moment. No wonder Rolfe refused to send Amelia away! It was almost a relief to understand this.

Leonie’s gaze moved down over Amelia’s figure, as pathetically thin as ever, and she said icily, “When did you conceive?”

“What difference—?”

“Answer me, Amelia!”

Amelia shrugged. “It has been a month.”

Leonie figured swiftly. It had been a month since she was brought to Crewel to live. She could remember clearly the night Rolfe left their chamber angrily. Amelia
had been in exceptionally good spirits that next morning.

Leonie left Amelia without saying another word. What was there to say? But that night was the most miserable of her life. Alone, she cried and stormed, cursing Rolfe for his weakness and his lying. But she cursed herself as well—because it mattered to her, it mattered much too much.

When another note arrived from Alain Montigny the next day, Leonie was too distracted to think about it. She tucked it away with some other papers and forgot about it. She sank into a terrible melancholy all the remainder of the week, an unhappiness caused by the shock of learning that she, too, was pregnant.

The fact that the babies would be born about the same time was most telling. It was not unusual for a lord to ask a new wife to raise his bastard children if he had any. The wife had no grounds to refuse because those children had been conceived before her marriage to their father. But it was another thing entirely to accept children conceived by other women after the marriage.

Leonie did not think Rolfe would ask her to raise Amelia’s child. But she had little doubt that he would want to keep both child and mother near him. This would not be the child of a serf. A serf could be expected to give up her child because the father would give it a better life than she could. But such was not the case with Amelia. Amelia would never give up her child, and so Rolfe would never give up Amelia.

The future looked progressively grimmer. She no longer had the hope that Rolfe would send her away one day, not if she had his child. Rolfe would never let her go if he knew there was a baby on the way.

She was not going to tell him. She could hope to
leave him before her body gave the truth away. Perhaps she could lock herself away in Pershwick until after the child was born. She would not, she determined, give him an excuse to keep her.

Leonie could share some kinds of love, could share her gift for healing, but she could not share her husband with another woman. Always there had been the hope that Amelia would leave. Now that hope was gone. It seemed her heart flew out of her, for she bore an ache in her breast that did not diminish, even with the passing of many days.

Sir Bertrand and his oldest son Reginald came to Crewel late one afternoon with news that Rolfe had sent for them to meet him at Crewel. Bertrand was Leonie’s own vassal at Marhill Keep, one of her holdings. Why her husband should ask to see Bertrand was a mystery.

All she could think about was that Rolfe would be home soon. She managed to ask the proper questions about Marhill, about the harvesting there, but she could not later recall what was told her. Her mind was in complete confusion over Rolfe.

It was a busy time. She entertained her guests as best she could, with Sir Evarard’s help. Thankfully, Amelia kept herself absent from the hall. It grew late and still Rolfe had not come. Leonie readied rooms for her guests, but the men preferred to remain in the hall, curious as to what Rolfe wished to see them about.

Sounds of his arrival were heard at last, and Leonie quickly excused herself, retiring to her room. She had finally concluded that she could not face Rolfe without her resentment bubbling over, and to let that happen
in front of her vassal was unthinkable. Safe here in their room, she did not have to conceal her feelings.

There was no time, however, to prepare herself for what she assumed would be a full-fledged battle. Rolfe came to her immediately, so quickly that she realized he could not have spared more than a moment’s greeting for their guests below. What might excuse such rude behavior? After all, he had sent for the two men.

Her brows narrowed suspiciously. “You have not shamed me, have you, my lord?”

“How so?”

Rolfe tossed aside his helmet and gauntlets, but his eyes did not stray from Leonie. She kept her position by the hearth, standing stiffly at attention.

“You sent for Sir Bertrand and his son. What can they think of your ignoring them?”

Rolfe grinned, moving to close the distance between them. “I told them I was tired and would speak to them in the morning. They understood.”

“How could you?” Leonie hissed. “You must go below and speak to them now!”

“They have already retired, dearling, and—”

He fell silent as Damian came into the room. Leonie swallowed her ire and turned her back while Damian assisted Rolfe with his heavy hauberk.

It did not take the young squire long, and it was only moments before Rolfe said agreeably, “Off to bed with you, lad.”

Openmouthed with surprise, Damian left the room. Never had Rolfe spoken to him so pleasantly. It was amazing how the sight of his wife could change his manner completely.

Leonie waited only until the sound of the door closed before she swung around, ready to get everything off her chest at once. But the sight of Rolfe in only shirt
and chausses stopped her. The thick muscles straining on his long legs, the breadth of chest—always startling because it was just as wide with his armor removed—his hair curling riotously about his head, all of it brought out the man and the boy in him at once. It was unfair that he could affect her so powerfully that she couldn’t even remember what she’d been about to say.

“You have missed me, dearling.”

“I have not, my lord,” she said stiffly.

“Liar.” He had moved over to her before she could move away. He tilted her chin up and gazed into her eyes. His eyes were velvety brown, yet intense. “You are angry because I stayed away so long.”

“There are many things I am angry about, my lord, but that is not one of them.”

“You may tell me what they are tomorrow, Leonie, for this is no time for anger.”

She tried to move away, but Rolfe caught her to him and kissed her.

“I missed you, Leonie. God, how I missed you,” he exclaimed as his lips trailed along her cheek to the soft contours of her neck.

She was nearly lost. She could not let him do this to her again, but already her desire was ignited, despite all her misery and bitterness. “If—if you must have a woman…go to your other lady…I cannot—”

“I have no other lady.”

She leaned into him, pliant. She could not fight their passion, and for the time being, she gave up trying.