When Good Bras Go Bad (Myrtle Crumb Series) (15 page)

             
Faye gave me a peck on the cheek as we went into the kitchen
.
“I didn’t know you were coming
by today, Mother.”

             
I glanced at Sunny
.
“It was a spur-of-the-moment sort of thing.”

             
Sunny commenced fillin
g
everybody’s plates
.
“Let’s eat
.
I’m starving.”

             
“Apparently,” Faye said with a laugh
.
“But now that you mention it, I’m pretty hungry myself.”

             
We all sat down and started to eat
.

             
“How was school today, honey?” Faye asked.

             
After an awkward little second, I said, “Fine
.
The usual stuff
.
It was spaghetti day, and that went over pretty well.”

             
“Good.”  Faye kinda frowned
.
“That’s good, Mother
.
How was
your
day, Crimson?”

             
“Um…it was okay.”  She looked at me, and I gave her a little nod
.
She took a deep breath and blew her words out
on a puff of wind
.
“I didn’t go to school today
.
”

             
“What?”  Faye got strangled on a bite of biscuit, and me and Sunny both got up to hit her on the back
.
I pulled her right arm up over her head, too
.
I started to pull her left arm up as well, mainly because I couldn’t remember which arm you’re supposed to pull up over somebody’s head if they’re strangled
.
But Faye had a glass of tea in that left hand, and if we thought she was mad now, I’d have hated to see the conniption she’d have thrown if she had a glass of tea poured on her head on top of Sunny
’s
layin
g
out of school
.
Even if the tea
got
poured on her head durin
g
a life-saving act
.
Faye
probably wouldn’t have
been grateful for our actions
right
away
.

             
Finally,
Faye
jumped up out of her chair and
shook me and Sunny off her like a grouchy ol’ she-bear
.
“What do you mean you didn’t go to school?  Haven’t you been in enough trouble the past couple weeks?”

             
“I didn’t feel like goin’, okay?”

             
“No, it’s not okay
.
You think you can lay out of school anytime you want and get away with it?”  She turned on me
.
“Did you know about this?”

             
“Not ‘til lunchtime.”
  I sat back down and took a drink of my tea.

             
“And you didn’t call me?”

             
“Well, they said her mother called and said she was sick.”

             
Faye turned back to Sunny
.
“You impersonated me?”

             
“What was I supposed to do, Mom?  Call and say ‘I’m upset because everybody thinks I’m a big fat crook and I don’t wanna come to school today’?”

             
“I know you’re upset about what happened yesterday, but is that what you’re gonna do now every time things take a bad turn?  Hide?”

             
“I remember a little girl who stayed home from school for two days because of a bad perm,” I said.

             
“Mother, you stay out of this.”

             
“I was just makin’ an observation.”  I took a bite of pork chop
.
“Supper’s gettin’ cold
.
Ya’ll sit down and eat.”

             
They both just looked at me.

             
“Please,” I said.

             
They sat down and went back to eatin
g
.
It was quiet until we’d all nearly cleaned our plates.

             
“Was your perm really that bad?” Sunny asked in the smallest voice she could muster.

             
Faye looked at her a minute, and I reckon she must’ve been tryin’ to remember what it was like to be fourteen
.
Then she took the last drink of her tea
.
She sat the glass down, and while the ice cubes were clinking in the bottom of the glass, said, “It was horrible
.
I looked like a poodle that’d stuck its paw in a light socket.”

             
“And Mimi let you stay home from school for two days?”

             
“She had to
.
She’s the one who gave me the perm, and she was as embarrassed by it as I was.”

             
“Aw, you looked cute as you could be,” I said
.
But when Faye got up to get some more tea, I mouthed “not really” to Sunny.

             
Faye sat back down with her tea
.
“I still don’t excuse you for what you did today
.
You deliberately went behind my back.”

             
“I’m sorry,” Sunny said.

             
“Together we can work through anything,” Faye told her, “but I have to be able to trust you and I have to know you trust me.”

             
“I do trust you, Mom.”

             
“If you really trusted me, you’d have talked to me about why you didn’t
want to
go to school today.”

             
“But—”

             
“No ‘but’s.’  You’re grounded for the weekend
.
No goin’ out of this house, no telephone, no TV, no nothin
g
.”

             
“But—”

             
This time I interrupted
Sunny
before she dug herself a deeper hole than the one she was already in
.
“Let me help you get the kitchen cleaned up, Faye
.
I need to get home and feed Matlock
.
That poor baby’s belly probably thinks his throat’s been cut.”

             
“You go on home then,” Faye said
.
“Crimson will be cleaning the kitchen as part of her punishment.”

             
I winced at Sunny
.
“Sorry, kiddo.”

             
“That’s okay
.
It’s not too bad.”

             
And it wasn’t
.
I’d washed up all the pots and pans as I went along, and there was enough corn and potatoes left in the serving bowls that Sunny could sock them suckers in the refrigerator
for leftovers. By the time they turned green,
Faye
would be
over her mad spell.

             
And about that perm?  A poodle struck by lightning is more like it!  I still laugh when I think about it
.
Little Tommy Teedywaddy, all head and no body.

DIVIDER HERE

             
Monday mornin
g
I went straight to Wilbur Brody’s office
.
As usual, he was out in the hall directin’ traffic
.
Sometimes I get the feelin
g
he’s more of a shepherd than an officer of the law.

             
“I need to talk to you right now,” I told him
.
“I’ve got a plan goin
g
on even as we speak, and it’s imperative you know what’s
happening
.”

             
Officer Brody put his hand up to his head and squeezed like maybe he had a headache.

             
“I’ve got some ibuprofen in my pocketbook,” I said.

             
“I might have to take you up on that later
.
Just what kind of plan have you got goin’?”

             
“A big ‘un
.
We’re gonna catch this thief once and for all.”

             
He squeezed his head again.

             
“But we can’t discuss it out here in the hall
.
Let’s go in your office.”  I led the way, and after a great big sigh, Brody lumbered along behind me.

             
When he got inside the office, I closed the door and filled him in on Brandon Easton and my upscale costume jewelry necklace that was bait for this crook.

             
“How do you know the theif’ll take it?” Brody asked.

             
“Because she’ll think it’s valuable.”

             
“I don’t know.”  He shook his head.

             
“Well, it can’t hurt
.
And it’s bound to be ruinin
g
your reputation as an officer of the law around here that you ain’t caught the school thief yet.”

             
“The principal thinks I have.”

             
“Well, you ain’t.”  I narrowed my eyes at him
.
“My grandbaby ain’t no thief
.
Now, are you with me on this or not?  Because if you ain’t, I gotta go stake out the auditorium.”

             
“If either of us stakes out the auditorium, any thief worth his salt will know somethin
g
’s up
.
We can’t go nowhere near the auditorium today.”

             
“Well, somebody has to
.
I’ll go home and put on a disguise.”

             
“That won’t be necessary
.
I have students who do this sort of undercover work for me when need be.”

             
“Good thinkin’,” I said, “but are you sure you can trust these people?”

             
“I’m certain of it
.
They’re in my Sunday school class, and I know every one of them like I was a member of their family.”

             
“Okay.”  I still didn’t like it, but I didn’t feel like I had much choice
.
An undercover student would be the best one to stake out the auditorium
.
“You get your team in place
.
I’ll be in the lunchroom actin
g
nonchalant
.
Let me know as soon as you have somethin
g
.”  I nonchalantly opened the door and walked down the hall to the lunchroom.

             
I didn’t have to act nonchalant for long
.
An hour hadn’t gone by
before Officer Brody strode into the lunchroom with his
chest puffed out
.
The “to
mare and t
o
mare and t
o
mare” boy was with him.

             
“Ms. Crumb,” Brody said, “we’ve nabbed your thief.”  He moved aside, and there was the thief holding my upscale costume jewelry necklace.

             
It was Sunny.

Chapter
Ten

             
You could’ve knocked me down with a newborn robin’s feather
.
“Sunny?”

             
“It ain’t how it looks,” she said, standin
g
there lookin
g
as innocent as can be in her
faded
jeans and lacy pink blouse
.
Well, lookin
g
innocent
except that my upscale costume jewelry necklace was danglin
g
between her pink-polished fingernails
.
It wasn’t even in its black velvet box.