Wheels of Steel, Book 2 (2 page)

Mama reached out and patted her hand. “You couldn’t understand. When you love someone and it ends—not because of mutual consent or because of infidelity, but because of some stupid stupid disease…well then, it’s like it’s still there; the love…it’s still there but with no one to point it to.”

***

“Why are you moping?” Jason’s mother asked. “You are so quiet. You’ve barely said five words since I’ve been here.” Jason stared at the computer screen where he was supposed to be doing homework. His mind kept replaying last night; his anger, his fear, even his lust.

He looked at his mother and tried to offer her a half smile. “I’m sorry. I just have a lot on my mind with school and stuff.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Jason shrugged. “Not much to talk about; just school stuff.” His mother shrugged as well.

“Jason…you and I used to be so close, son. What happened?” He looked at her.

“We’re still close, Mom. How many guys my age spend this much time with their mother once a week?” She smiled.

“True.” She reached out and ruffled his hair. “I love you, baby boy.”

“I know Mom. I love you, too.”

His mother only stayed until early in the afternoon. After lunch at a seafood restaurant, she returned home. Link had left him a message and he called him back on SKYPE.

“How’s Sweetheart?” His friend asked.

“I don’t know. I haven’t talked to her.”

“Look, I’m sorry if I came off a little too heavy last night.”

“I’m sure she’ll be okay, Link. It’s no biggie. And look, I want you to keep all of the money from the gig.”

“Don’t be stupid. You played half of the gig-”

“Yeah, but I left you in a lurch and besides…it’s not about money. I only played so that I could get Robin to come out. Little good that did…”

“Is she…an alcoholic or something?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know all that much about her.”

“Look…maybe you should…ask some more questions about her.” Jason shrugged.

“She gets nervous easy. But yeah…I do need to know more about her.”

“Do you want me to bring your braces and crutches?”

“Nah, can you just leave them in your van and I’ll get them Monday?”

“Sure. See you Monday.”

After his conversation with Link, Jason navigated to Yahoo. Robin’s icon was unlit. He left her a message.

~How are you feeling?~

***

Once Robin was alone in the house, she felt restless. She had been sleeping off and on all day and it was Saturday night. Her stomach still ached, but after eating the soup it wasn’t quite as bad. Since Mama had cleaned her house, done the shopping and finished the laundry there was nothing that she needed to do.

She picked up the laptop and carried it into her bedroom. She saw that Jason’s Icon was lit. He had left her a message;
how are you doing?

She closed the lid on the laptop without responding.

Chapter 2

By the time Monday rolled around her stomach only held a dull ache and she had made herself a stern promise never to touch liquor again! She drove to Jason’s house still feeling like she’d made an idiot out of herself. She was embarrassed and a little hurt that he had yelled at her at the party. It had caused her to clam up. She wanted to explain but the words wouldn’t come. It really didn’t matter anymore. She’d made one big mistake after the other. She rang his bell nervously. He was in his wheelchair when he answered.

“Hello.” She said.

“Hi.” She came inside and placed her purse on the chair.

“My crutches are still in Link’s van.” He explained. “I was just having breakfast.” She followed him into the kitchen. He was eating a bowl of Cheerios and had already made coffee. She sat down.

“No coffee?” He asked.

“My stomach is still a bit queasy.”

“Yeah,” he ate and pretended to read the paper; at a loss for what to say to break the chill that had developed between them. He just didn’t understand why she had to go off with those guys. That’s what just didn’t make sense to him. It just had created unnecessary worry. She should have just stayed inside!

When he finished breakfast he went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and Robin finished with the dishes. Wow, he wasn’t even talking to her now. Did that mean that they were broke up? Normally they would have kissed by now. Jason’s friends surely thought she was a freak and now he did, too.

She just went about her duties wordlessly. They drove to school and listened to the radio without commenting on the music. She set up his computer with each class, wrote out his calculus problems, took out his books from his book bag and wheeled him from class to class; all with very little talking.

She followed him to the cafeteria and wished that he would just want to go outside to the courtyard so that she wouldn’t have to face these people that she’d made a fool out of herself in front of. But once they had gotten what they wanted to eat he wheeled straight for his usual table. There was the usual jovial welcome and then stiff and awkward greetings directed at her. She forced herself to eat her ham sandwich even though her stomach had gotten knotted up again.

Amberly was telling some guy about how good the ‘boys’ had played at the party Friday and Robin stiffened, wondering if she would mention her part in Friday’s fiasco. But she didn’t acknowledge Robin after a brief hello.

Patty got up from her place at the table and sat down on the other side of Robin. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” Patty saw that she had dark circles beneath her eyes.

“Dude, you want your braces and crutches from the van now or after school?” Link suddenly asked Jason.

“Now is good. I’m done eating.” He collected his trash and wordlessly placed it on the tray for Robin to get rid of. Link led them out of the cafeteria; Jason, Robin and Patty following him. Link kept up a steady stream of conversation which Patty punctuated with sarcasm or insults. Robin wondered why she did that if she liked Link so much.

Once at the van Link had them all climb inside so that Jason could take down his pants and put on the braces. Once in the van, Link discreetly ran his fingers along the back of Patty’s hand. Patty gave him a knowing look and Robin tried to pretend not to notice. She caught Jason watching her but he turned away quickly and worked on unbuttoning his pants.

“Want me to do it?” She asked.

“Sure.” She reached over and unbuttoned and unzipped him. He quickly pushed down his pants and while he strapped on one of the braces she strapped on the other. When she looked up Link and Patty were staring deeply and lovingly into each other’s eyes. She looked away uncomfortably.

“Okay, look you two!” Patty yelled. Robin jumped. “Get it out in the open right now. Nobody leaves this van until you two start talking!” She heard the distinct click as the locks engaged. Robin and Jason sat there quietly and avoided looking at each other.

Link cleared his throat. “I’ll start. Robin, I didn’t mean to seem pushy about the keys. I just…don’t want to ever have to lose anymore friends to drinking and driving.” Robin met his eyes.

“I understand. I’m…I’m sorry about making anybody worry.” Her eyes flitted to the window. No one said anything and then Jason grumbled.

“Robin?” After a moment she looked at him. “I know that I yelled at you and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.” She nodded. Patty looked from one to the other of them and then rolled her eyes.

“Patty, stay out of it,” Link warned.

“Well they’re being stupid. Jason is still mad.” Robin peeked at him and saw by the tilt of his chin that, indeed, her words were correct. He was mad at her; specifically at her and not just at the fact that he hadn’t known where she had gone! She gave him a confused look.

“Robin,” he said in a tight voice that reminded her of when they had first gotten together. “Why did you let yourself get so drunk that you were puking on the ground and sitting in the street? I mean, if you know that you get drunk like that-”

“But I didn’t know!” She exclaimed. “I’ve taken a sip of my Dad’s beer before, but besides a glass of champagne on New Year’s Eve or a sip of my mother’s wine, I’ve never drank before!”

Patty raised her hand in confession. “I gave her a couple beers.” But she hadn’t known that she would not know how to hold her liquor.

Robin stared at Jason. “It seemed like the beer made everything nicer. So I tried the Hennessey and that made it even nicer. So I had another.” Jason frowned and Link’s mouth dropped. “I mixed it with Coca Cola and it tasted pretty good. But then I started getting drunk real fast.”

“Damn Robin.” Jason said.

“What?” She asked a little irritated. Patty smiled inwardly and looked at Link. Link shrugged slightly not sure why she wanted them to argue.

“I mean, I know you got this nervous condition but getting drunk and going off with some guys is not the answer!”

“Nervous condition? I don’t have SOME nervous condition. I just get nervous easy…that doesn’t mean I have a condition! I didn’t know I was going to get drunk and I didn’t GO OFF with those guys! I was just trying to help them get into the party-”

“But you didn’t even know them.”

“But…” She sighed and felt her throat tighten and her eyes sting. “When I was drinking it felt…like I did know them. It felt as if I was doing something good for friends.” She was breathing in deeply. “And then that guy at the door said he was going to call the cops so we left. I tried to call you Jason-!”

“But if I’m on the freaking stage how can I answer my phone?!”

“I don’t know!” She sat there for a moment. “I didn’t go with them. We just walked away from the house together. And then they wanted to take me home and I said no. I didn’t go so…” She looked at him. “Do you see what happened?”

“What I know is…I just don’t want you to drink anymore.”

“Well I don’t want to drink anymore.” She responded angrily.

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Patty didn’t seem happy with the way things had ended. “Robin, what does he mean that you have a nervous condition?”

“Patty, stay out of this,” Link mumbled.

Robin took a deep breath and hoped that she would stop feeling like she was about to cry. “I guess…it’s just hard for me when I’m around people I don’t know.”

“Were you nervous Friday?” Patty asked with concern. Robin nodded. “Is that why you were vomiting blood?”

Robin’s head swung in her direction and she gave her an accusing look. “You promised…”

The muscles in Jason’s face seemed to slacken. “Robin? Baby, you’re vomiting blood?”

“I’m okay now…” She tried to stand up but the van was too low. She reached for the door handle but it wouldn’t open. Oh yeah, Patty wasn’t going to unlock it until they cleared the air. “Will you let me out, please?”

“You’re okay now? No more stomach pain?” Patty asked.

“No more stomach pain.” Robin said firmly.

Patty reached out calmly and poked her in the stomach. Robin yelped and doubled over in pain.

“Oh my god,” Jason said. He pulled her down to his lap. “Robin, baby, you got to go to the hospital!”

She tried to get up but Jason wouldn’t let her go. He gripped her tightly. “No! I’m okay. It goes away on its own! It only happens when I’m nervous.”

“How often do you have this pain?” He asked.

“I don’t know.” She was panting and couldn’t catch her breath. Her stomach was churning and she gripped her middle. “I just need some air…can you open the door, please Patty?” Jason nodded his consent and she released the locks and reached over and slid the door open.

When the door was open she instantly relaxed and the sweat stopped forming on her brow. She began to regulate her breathing. Jason was rocking her in his arms and kissing her face. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I’m not mad at you. I’m just mad! I’m mad because I can’t fucking…” He groaned and she felt hot tears splash her arm. She looked up to see tears dripping down his cheeks. “I just want to be like everybody else.”

Patty rubbed her eyes and Link swallowed and felt tears forming in his own eyes. He stared out the window and Patty slid her hand into his. He looked at her and she mouthed the words; I love you. Link nodded and mouthed the words back to her. They leaned in and kissed.