What Endures (15 page)

“I guess,” she mumbled, not knowing what else to say. She hadn’t seen Jason like this since his accident. He was so focused, determined.

“No matter where we each are, doesn’t it seem like eventually we end up together?” he mused. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and tried to say something, anything, to discourage him but nothing came to mind. He looked around. “Looks like we’re back at the beginning huh?”

She could only continue to stare at him, her voice failing her completely in that moment.

 He smiled and she could have sworn she saw that familiar cocky confidence of his shining from his eyes. “I’ll also understand if you want to avoid me, but you know, Harbor Bay is still a small town and well,
friends
are likely to run into each other now and again.” He closed the distance between them and she felt her breathing grow shallow as her heart rate soared.

She watched, mesmerized, as he reached out and took her hand. He held her hand for a beat and she was acutely aware of how small her hand felt in his big, warm one. Slowly, he turned her hand over, so that his thumb was resting in her palm. His thumb ran down the length of her palm and in reaction, she felt a tingle run down her spine. She inhaled deeply.

He placed her cell phone into her open palm and then closed her fingers around it. He bent down to whisper near her ear,

“I’ll see you around,
friend
.”

With one last smile, he released her hand and then unhurriedly walked away. All she could do was watch, and hope that the tingling along her spine would subside soon.

You are in very serious trouble,
her head warned her.

#

 She knocked on the door impatiently. After the third succession of quick raps against the wooden frame, the door was finally pulled open. Tyler took a second to process her presence before he smiled. “Hey Megan.”

“Don’t you ‘Hey Megan’ me Tyler Michael Adams!”

 Tyler winced. “Seen Jason?”

 “You’re damn right I did! What the hell were you thinking bringing him here Ty? Do the words ‘time apart’ have a different meaning in your universe than they do in mine? Are you just plain crazy? Or do you get some sort of sick enjoyment from all of this? ‘Cause I really can’t-”

Tyler held his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Truce, truce.”

 “How could you bring him here?!”

 Tyler indicated for her to back up so that he could step outside. He closed the door behind him and sat down on the steps of the porch. She made no move to join him, instead walking down the steps so that she was back on the sidewalk, and glaring at him from at almost eye level.

 “Just to let you know, people can see us from here,” Tyler said teasingly. “So if you decide to kill me, there’s going to be plenty of witnesses.”

“This is not funny, Tyler!”

 Tyler sighed. “Sorry.”

 “About?” she prompted. “Bringing Jason here or not telling me?”

 “Both?” he ventured cautiously. She continued to glare at him and he expelled a slow breath. “Look, Megs, I didn’t bring Jason here, OK? I came with him. And I did try to tell you. But you were doing the avoidance thing and weren’t returning my calls.”

She sighed. He did have a point there. She had been avoiding his calls. “You couldn’t have just left a message saying you were headed this way?”

“Would you have bolted if I had?”

“No, I-” She stopped abruptly at the look of disbelief that Tyler was giving her. “Fine. Maybe I would have but I did tell you I wanted some time apart from Jason. I mean is that too much to ask for?”

“No,” he conceded. “But why Meggers? I mean clearly, you’ve been miserable.”

“That’s not true,” she denied.

It’s not?” he challenged. She looked away. “If it’s any consolation, Jason hasn’t exactly been Mr. Sunshine either.”

“Could have fooled me,” she replied. “He was pretty chipper when he found me at the field.” She looked at him knowingly. “Should I yell at you for telling him about my favorite place, too?”

Tyler smiled. “No, that would be my mom.”

“Marie?” she asked, surprised.

He nodded. “We apparently missed running into you at the store earlier. Anyway, my mom was all over Jason with the whole motherly act and when he asked where you were, she mentioned the field.”

“Ugh!” she exclaimed softly. “It’s like a conspiracy! Why does everyone want me with Jason?” She exhaled tiredly. “Does anyone not get the fact that it’s hard? I mean he’s like a walking, talking reminder of everything I’ve. . .we’ve lost! And now everyone wants me to rush right back into it? Risk getting my heart shattered all over again?”

“Meg,” Tyler said gently, as he reached out and pulled her toward him. She gave in and settled onto the step next to him. “No one wants you to get hurt. But we don’t want you so miserable either. You or Jason.” Tyler shook his head. “God. Between the two of you, it’s a wonder I haven’t joined Prozac Nation.”

“I don’t want to be like this either but it’s. . . .”  She felt the anger dissipate. She hadn’t really been angry, just overwhelmed. “Did he tell you what happened when he came to see me at the hotel before I left?”

He shrugged. “Not really.”

“He wants to get to know me. Again.”

“And?” Tyler prompted gently.

“And I said I couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t? Or won’t?”

She sighed. “Both.”

Tyler didn’t respond, only staring thoughtfully at the street in front of his childhood home. Despite her success, Marie hadn’t moved into the cushier part of Harbor Bay. Instead, she had chosen to renovate the home that she had raised Tyler in. Of course, the fact that Bruce Kincaid was a very prominent part of the cushier part of Harbor Bay might have had something to do with the fact that Marie chose to keep her distance from that part of town.

Megan stared out at the street as well, welcoming the silence between them and let her thoughts drift. It was easier to not focus on her thoughts, because they only confused her. Too many questions, too many emotions, too many of everything.

“You should let him, Meggers,” Tyler finally said quietly.

“I should what?”

“Let Jason get to know you again.” Tyler turned to her. “That way you can get to know him again too.”

“I already know him, Ty. That’s the problem.”

Tyler shook his head. “You don’t, Meg. I mean, yeah, he’s the same in some ways, but in others, he’s not. You don’t know him as well as you think.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He paused, as if gathering his thoughts before he responded. “Have you ever thought that maybe Jason’s memory loss is a good thing in a way?”

She scoffed. “You cannot be serious.”

“I am,” Tyler insisted. “Think about it Meg. I mean yes, he lost memories of you and how in love you both were. He lost memories of all the good times you guys had.” He paused and looked out toward the street. “But he also lost memories of how painful your divorce was. He lost years of memories of Bruce mercilessly browbeating him about baseball and using me to bait him.  He lost memories of what really happened between his mother and his father. He doesn’t remember how we were all unwillingly dragged into that. He can’t remember how bad things got before they started getting better. And he doesn’t have memories of losing people.” Tyler sighed. “Honestly? I wouldn’t mind having a few memories wiped out.”

“Tyler. . .”

“I’m not trying to make light of it,” he continued. “But see the thing about memories? They’re a double-edged sword. You get the good but there’s also the bad. And you can’t decide which memories you get to keep and which ones you don’t. You get it all.”

She looked down at her hands, still able to see the slight indentation on her ring finger. Tyler did have a point. But what was she supposed to do with that?

“You know what else memories do?” Tyler asked, his voice sounding pensive. “They affect your behavior without you even realizing it.” Tyler looked at her. “That old saying ‘forgive and forget’? No one ever tells you it’s not forgiving that’s hard. It’s forgetting about it. ‘Cause no matter how much you don’t want to, you remember.”

She looked at her best friend for a beat, understanding dawning. “Is this about Lizzie?” she asked gently.

“Hmmm,” Tyler murmured. “Maybe.”

“Tyler. . .”

“It’s weird,” he said, looking down as his foot kicked at the steps. “We really tried to give it another shot and I know she forgave me for cheating, but the memories. . . “ He shook his head. “Whenever I was late or forgot to mention something, the doubts crept in.  It was like what happened changed everything and we couldn’t go back.”

Not knowing what to say, she laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. Despite his false bravado about his player ways, she knew that Lizzie had been the love of his life and losing her had been hard for him, harder than he let on.

“Look Meggers,” Tyler said. “You get a clean slate with Jason. He wants to get to know you. Why not let him? That way, you can get to know him too. Maybe in the process you can rebuild some of those memories you lost, especially the good ones. And you don’t have to worry about the bad memories tainting things.” He met her eyes. “Not many people get that kind of second chance.”

“I mean clearly, you’re miserable being away from him,” he continued.  “And the only time I’ve seen him perk up in the past few days was when Sean confirmed our flights here.” He nudged her shoulder. ”Why not, Meg?”

She expelled a slow breath. “I’m scared, Ty. I don’t think I can risk it.”

“Can you afford not to?” he asked her gently. “No regrets, remember?”

She looked back out at the quiet street. Dare she take a chance? She didn’t want to live with any regret. But could she risk her heart again? If she let Jason get to know her and he decided that he really didn’t love her, could she survive that? But what would be worse? A permanently broken heart or a lifetime of regret? 

“You gonna make a run for it?”

She shook her head. She liked it here. The familiarity was comforting. This was home. Besides, Jason was right. Somehow, they did eventually end up in the same place together. She still didn’t know what to do but running wasn’t the answer.

“I’m sorry about the, uh, surprise,” Tyler said softly.

“I know,” she said with a smile. She eyed him sternly. “But that was your pass, next time. . .” She punched him in the shoulder. “Ass kicking.”

Tyler held up his hands. They lapsed into silence, each lost in private thoughts. Suddenly, Tyler chuckled. 

“What?” she demanded.

He shrugged. “I was just thinking that the only person I know who is as stubborn, if not more stubborn than you are, is Jason. The two of you have always been like an irresistible force meeting an immovable object.” He grinned. “Can’t wait to see how this plays out.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Jason had been right.

Harbor Bay, despite its growing population and the continued spread of urban development, was for all intents and purposes, still a small, Southern town. And sooner or later, you were bound to run into someone you knew. Particularly when you didn’t want to run into that person. It was like Murphy’s Law for small towns.

So of course, she had run into Jason the day after he had surprised her on the field. She had literally run into him.  Or walked into him. It had been early morning, so she had been headed for a coffee fix. She had reverted to an old habit - walking and reading at the same time. Harbor Bay was about the only place where she could still get away with doing that. Any other place and people would plow her straight to the ground. In Harbor Bay, people actually moved out of the way.

She had been walking slowly along while reading the latest fax from Cindy, when she had suddenly hit something solid and felt herself stumble backward as the sheaf of papers in her hand went flying.

“Whoa!” a familiar voice exclaimed as strong hands gripped her elbows to steady her. She knew it was him before she looked up into his green eyes. “Megan.”

“Uh. . .” She uttered a silent curse. Since when did she become tongue-tied around Jason?  “Sorry.” She half-smiled as she bent down and began retrieving the papers scattered all about the sidewalk.

Jason bent down to help her. “Funny having you run into me here.”

He was damn impossible at times. That effortless charm of his should definitely require more effort. “Cute.”

“Did you just call me ‘cute’?” he teased as he scooped up the last of the papers and handed them to her.

She took the papers and straightened. “I was being ironical.”

“And I thought I was being cute by pretending not to know that,” he returned. She tried not to, but she smiled.

“You’re up early,” she stated the obvious to change the subject. She didn’t want to admit it, but he looked incredible in a pair of black warm-up pants and a red Adidas T-shirt. His hair was growing in nicely, the short, almost military-like, buzz cut he had been sporting was now looking a lot more like his old hair. The PT sessions must have been going extremely well, because she noticed the definition of his arm and chest muscles underneath his T-shirt. He was looking more and more like his old self. She eyed the headphones around his neck. “Morning jog?”

He shook his head. “I’m not allowed to put that kind of stress on my leg yet. Just out for a walk like my PT requires.”

“I’m glad you’re still keeping up with that.”

“Apparently I’m required to. Sean very nicely explained my contractual obligations to me before I came out here.” He looked at her with feigned astonishment. “Did you know that if I don’t keep up with the whole physical rehab thing, I owe the Mariners hundreds of thousands of dollars?”

“Yes, because I recall telling you that,” she answered with a small smile.

“Must have slipped my mind.” He gave her a flirty smile. “It’s hard to concentrate around you.”

She ignored his last statement. “So did Sean make all the arrangements for you to come out here?”

“He’s a miracle worker. Got the doctors, PT and everything else transferred out here.” He smiled at her. “Not that I’m trying to imply that you didn’t handle things well for me.”