Westward Dreams (20 page)

              When he learned that someone had put a hand on Hannah again, Owl became livid.  Outside of the night he’d killed Clive, Hannah had never seen him so angry.  His eyes held a fire that was scary to see.  She begged him not to do anything rash and was finally able to get him to calm down.  Owl listened to Hannah’s breathing that night as he lay awake.

              He had come to a decision.  Owl knew he was being very selfish in keeping up his relationship with Hannah.  Clearly their romance was never going to be accepted and they would have to deal with this kind of ridicule all the time.  It would be compounded if they were to get married.  What if they had children?  They would be subjected to cruel bigotry and have to live in fear.

              Owl wouldn’t let that happen to Hannah, nor would he bring children into such a situation.  Careful not to wake Hannah, he rolled over and looked down at her.  Moonlight shone down on her beautiful face and a lump formed in Owl’s throat.  He spent quite some time memorizing every feature; her softly arched eyebrows and dark lashes.  She had such soft lips and he loved the shape of her face.  Her amber eyes were so expressive and her rich, brown hair felt like silk against his fingers when he ran them through the thick mass.

              His gaze travelled down over her curvy body and he ached to make love to her one more time.  Owl would not wake her, though, and had to content himself to just look.  He slipped from the bed and dressed.  He left the bedroom and looked around the little house with regret.  All too easily he could picture marrying her and living there with her.  His smile was tinged with self-deprecation as he thought how just a few months ago he would never have considered living in a house.  So much had changed since then. 
He
had changed.  Owl closed his eyes against the tears that threatened. 

              With anger, he realized that he had been deluding himself.  He was Lakota, not white and he knew where he belonged.  As much as it hurt, he knew that it wasn’t here in this house.  It wasn’t with the lovely, kind woman sleeping in the bedroom, either.  No, his place was elsewhere.  His presence in her life was putting her safety in jeopardy and he loved her too much to let it continue.  Owl’s love for Hannah made him put her welfare before his happiness and he quickly left the house before he changed his mind.

              Hannah didn’t have any idea that something was amiss when she woke the next morning to find Owl already gone.  That was the case some days since he was an earlier riser than she.  She went to work and the busy day started.

              Black Fox sat across the fire from Owl.  “Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

              “No, but it’s what I have to do.  I was foolish to allow myself to become involved with Hannah.  It’s caused nothing but grief for her,” Owl said.

              Black Fox said, “But you love her.”

              “Yes, I do, but she shouldn’t have to live in constant fear because of me.  She deserves better than that,” Owl said.  “No, this is the best solution.  I’ll find the others.  They’ll accept me.  I can still do some hunting and my shoulder is good enough for sentry duty now.”

              Black Fox stood up.  “Couldn’t you just stay in camp?  Why do you have to leave completely?”

              “Because she’ll come here and I won’t be able to say no to her.  I won’t be strong enough to end it knowing that she’s so close,” Owl said.  “I’ve never felt anything like what I feel for her.  Not even with Blue Star.”

              The chief paced a little.  Much as he hated it, he saw that Owl might be right.  “Give it a little more time.  Maybe they’ll get tired of trying to interfere and leave you alone,” Black Fox said.

              “No, they won’t.  And what if we get married and have children?  Our children aren’t going to be accepted.  They’ll be constant targets.”

              Black Fox admitted that there was every likelihood that that could happen.  He didn’t want his brother to leave after almost losing him.  He saw that Owl was resigned and there would be no changing his mind about it.  He let out a huge sigh and sat back down.  “When are you leaving?”

              “Immediately.  I’m giving you and He Who Runs all of my horses and whatever I can’t take with me,” Owl said.

              Black Fox was taken aback.  “All of your horses?”

              “Well, I’m taking a packhorse with me, but all of the other ones are yours,” Owl said.

              “We’ll take good care of them and give them to you at the Sun Dance,” Black Fox said.  “Will you at least spend the winters with us?”

              Owl’s mouth smiled, but not his eyes.  “Of course.  I need to go get ready.  I’ll come say goodbye when I’m done.”

              Black Fox watched Owl walked away and had trouble fighting the terrible sadness that filled his heart.

              Hannah came home late that night because they’d gotten a last minute office visit that required quite a bit of suturing.  The house was dark, but Hannah figured that Owl was either still at Dean’s or had gone to the camp for a while.  She made something to eat and changed from her uniform into her nightclothes. 

              She settled down in a parlor chair to read.  At some point she nodded off and didn’t awaken for several hours.  When she did, and went to bed, Owl wasn’t there either. Then she chided herself.  If Owl had come in, he would never have left her in the chair. If she hadn’t woken, he would have carried her in to bed, as he’d done in the past.  He must have had to stay in camp for some reason.  Hannah crawled into bed and fell asleep again.

              When she didn’t see Owl the next evening, she saddled her horse and rode over to Dean’s.  Dean answered the door and let her in.

              “Have you seen Owl today?” she asked.

              “No.  In fact, he didn’t show up yesterday, either.  I was gonna come see you tomorrow to ask you where he’s been,” Dean said. 

              Hannah could see that he shared her concern.  “Where could he be?  I didn’t go to camp yet.”

              Dean frowned.  “Yeah, me, either.  I haven’t worked up to going there.”

              Hannah knew that Dean was still angry about the harsh treatment they’d given Marcus.  “Maybe he’ll come home tonight.  If he doesn’t, I’ll go tomorrow before work.”

              “All right.  If he shows up, tell him to come back to work,” Dean said with a smile.

              Hannah laughed.  “I will.  Goodnight.”

              “Goodnight,” Dean said.

              Hannah waited until late to go bed that night, but Owl didn’t arrive.  She was petrified that something had happened to him, but felt that Black Fox would have come or sent Raven to tell her.  Something else was going on, but she didn’t know what.  The next morning, she overslept a little and hurried to the clinic.  She’d wanted to be up early enough to go to the Lakota village before work, but had forgotten to set her alarm. 

              “I’m so sorry for being late,” she said to Marcus. 

              “No problem,” Marcus said.  “Everything ok?”

              “Have you seen Owl?” she asked.  “I haven’t seen him for a couple of days and Dean said he hasn’t shown up for work, either.”

              Marcus was surprised.  Owl wasn’t the type to shirk his duty.  “Has Black Fox seen him?”

              “I haven’t had the chance to go to the camp.  I was going to go this morning before work, but I overslept,” Hannah said.

              Marcus started looking at their schedule.  There was nothing major coming in so he said, “Tell you what; I’ll go see what I can find out.  There’s just a bunch of routine stuff coming in, so you should be fine.”

              “All right.  Thank you,” Hannah said.

              “Sure.  I’ll give him a piece of my mind for you,” Marcus said as he took off his doctor’s coat and put on his hat.  “I’ll be back soon.”

              “You gotta be kidding me,” Marcus said an hour later.  He’d swung by the ranch to see if Owl had shown up there before going to see Black Fox, but Dean had grumpily told him that Owl hadn’t been there yet again.

              Black Fox said, “I wish I were.  I didn’t know he hadn’t told you or I would have come to tell you myself.  I’m sorry.”

              Marcus swore and paced back and forth in front of Black Fox’s tipi.  “I don’t believe this.  Didn’t he stop to think how much this is going to hurt her?  Hurt all of us?  He didn’t even say goodbye to me or anyone else.  Damn him!”

              “I agree, but there was no way I was going to stop him.  Short of tying him up, that is,” Black Fox said.  “I tried to change his mind, but it was useless.”

              “Why did he go?” Marcus said.

              Black Fox said, “He was afraid that real harm was going to come to Hannah if he stayed with her.  You know the things that were happening to them.”

              “Yeah, I know,” Marcus said angrily.  “I just figured that it would die down eventually.”

              “I’m not so sure about that,” Black Fox said.

              “So you think he was right to just slink away like a dog that’s been kicked?” Marcus said.  “I can’t believe he did this.  Is he going to come back at all?”

              “I don’t think so.  We’ll see him at the Sun Dance,” Black Fox said.

              “What good does that do
me
?  I don’t go to the Sun Dance.  I’m never going to see him again!” Marcus shouted. 

              “I’m getting to old for all of this,” Black Fox said.

              “I’m never going to see one of my brothers again and you’re worried about your age?  I’ve got to go tell the woman who loves him that he’s not coming back.  That he just up and left without a word to anyone but you and the people here.  I’ve got to go break her heart.  He didn’t even have the guts to do that to her face.  No, it’s good that I’m not going to see him again, because if I did, I’d punch him in the face!” Marcus yelled and stomped off.

              Black Fox walked in the opposite direction because he knew that Marcus might come back and yell some more and he didn’t want to be there if he did.

              Marcus was waiting for a reaction from Hannah, but she just sat in silence looking at the floor of the office.  Her face had turned ashen and he was worried she was going to faint.  “I’m so sorry, Hannah.  I’m absolutely disgusted with him for doing this.  Black Fox—‘”

              “Shut up!  Just shut up!” Hannah said sharply.

              Marcus’ eyebrows shot up but he stayed quiet.

              “Please don’t talk to me right now.  I can’t.  I have to go,” Hannah said and walked out of the clinic.

              If Marcus’ reaction had been strong, Dean’s was much worse.  There was only one time that Marcus had ever seen his brother so angry and that was the night when Marcus had told him that he was half-Lakota.  Marcus had purposely waited until they were out in the barn to tell Dean.  It was a good thing because Dean picked up a pitchfork and hurled it so hard that it lodged in one of the wooden walls.

              Then he ranted for over ten minutes, his remarks punctuated by swear words that Marcus hadn’t known that Dean knew.  Dean finally quieted down and stood breathing heavily for a moment.  Then he looked at Marcus and said, “Which way did he go?”

              “Why?”

              “Do you know which damn way he went?” Dean yelled. 

              Marcus backed up a little.  “I have a good idea.”

              “Then tell me.  Don’t waste my time by asking questions.  I want to get to him before he gets to the other herd,” Dean said.

              “Tribe,” Marcus said.

              “Whatever.  Just tell me,” Dean said.

              Marcus told Dean the route Owl would have taken.  “You’re not going to catch him on one of our horses, Dean.  Swift is very fast.”

              “You’re right.  I won’t catch him on one of ours, but I know who has a horse that’s faster than any Indian pony,” Dean said.

“Dean, I know ya’ll are upset, but I can’t let you take Hamlet.  He’s too valuable and if someone who knows horses saw him, they’d try to steal him,” Joe said.

“I’ll shoot ‘em if they do,” Dean said. “Listen, I have to stop him from making the biggest damn mistake of his life, Joe.  He doesn’t understand what he’s doing.  Not only has he broken Hannah's heart but other people’s, too.  He’s letting these bastards win.  I know he’s up against a lot, but now they’re gonna think they can just do that to whoever they want to, Joe.  It goes deeper than he realizes.”

Joe pushed his hat back on his head and scratched his forehead.  “I see what you mean, Dean, but—“

“Please don’t waste anymore of my time, Joe.  You know I’m right.  Just give me the damn horse,” Dean said.

“Ok, but I gotta tell you a few tricks to make him run at his best,” Joe reluctantly agreed.