Watching Out For Fangs (The Cloverleah Pack Book 7) (7 page)

“That sounds a bit harsh, the chaining up I mean, especially if you are just learning to feed,” Josh said quietly, his fingers weaving random patterns over Vadim’s chest, which was tantalizing and distracting all at once. Vadim found it difficult to focus on the conversation.

“True vampires, full vampires, can be subject to blood lust if they don’t feed regularly. All of us know how important it is to keep our existence from humans although they are usually the most common donors. Hence the ability to compel and mind wipe them - I have never compelled anyone to offer their neck, but I can easily make someone forget he has been fed from. Because humans are physically weaker, we are the ones who have to be in control of all of our impulses, otherwise we could so easily kill them.”

“Just as well I’m a badass wolf shifter then,” Josh said and Vadim knew the man was smiling. “So what’s this blood lust thing you mentioned?”

Fuck. “Blood lust, is when a vampire hasn’t fed for a long time…”

“You mentioned that already.”

“Well, when it happens the only thing the vampire can think of is blood, either their mate’s or from a donor. Unfortunately if they are too far gone a vampire can easily drain ten or twelve, sometimes twenty full grown people and still not be satisfied. They are usually put down as rogues – they have to be killed to stop the vampire from revealing their presence to humans. When affected by bloodlust, a vampire can forget the need to compel, or mind wipe, and if they are too far gone, they won’t stop feeding until their donor is dead.”

“That sounds horrible,” Josh said. “What on earth would possess a vampire to go so long without feeding?”

Vadim shrugged. The conversation had gotten a little off track, Vadim had planned to explain why he couldn’t eat red meat anymore, not go into the ins and out of blood lust and what happened to a vampire when it hit them. That could raise some awkward questions. But it seemed he was too late - his mate was too intelligent for his own good. Josh sat up, his brilliant blue eyes flashing, his wolf lurking behind them.

“You asshole,” Josh yelled. “You weren’t going to starve to death at all, you were waiting to be hit by the blood lust so someone else would have to kill you. You could have hurt innocent people, killed them and then forced someone to take your life. That is a shit crap thing to do.”

“It’s not what you think, my mate…”

“Tell me what I am getting wrong then,
mate
.” Ouch. That word should never be yelled as an insult and Vadim rushed to explain.

“That was never my intention. I didn’t expect to get locked up, but if I had gone through the blood rage then I wasn’t in a position to hurt anyone and my brother would have cheerfully ordered my execution. Hell, he’d probably do it himself. No, my plan was to go somewhere really remote, no people at all. There was no way I would want to drain an innocent. I’m not like that.”

“What would have happened then, if you had no access to blood at all and went into this bloodlust thing?” Josh didn’t seem any happier, and Vadim got the impression his answer wasn’t going to help.

“I’d go mad and probably jump off a cliff or something,” Vadim said honestly. “I wouldn’t have been able to drain anyone anyway – one mouthful of blood from anyone or anything apart from you and I would start throwing up violently. It’s damn near impossible to swallow something down while you are trying to throw something back up.”

Josh seemed to realize that Vadim was telling the truth and settled back down on his chest. Vadim enjoyed the closeness more than he thought he would. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had willingly stayed physically close to another person. But then came the one question Vadim knew would come, and had dreaded all the same.

“Why?”

Chapter Nine

Josh knew he shouldn’t have asked, but really, with all the things he did want to learn about his mate, there was only one thing front and center in his mind. He didn’t care about blood rages, lack of aging, his mate’s ability to compel someone to do something, or anything else for that matter. He could learn about those things over time. What he wanted to know, needed to know, in clear concise details was why the hell his mate had rejected him without even saying a word to him. He gave his mate points for not throwing him off the bed and storming out of the room, because in that moment, the vampire’s face showed that was exactly what he wanted to do. But then Vadim surprised him all over again, not only by staying, but answering.

“I made a promise to my bonded mate, Edward.” Vadim hadn’t wanted to tell Josh that – Josh could tell from the tightness in the man’s shoulders and the flat tone of voice he used. But as the words made registered in his brain, Josh found he didn’t fucking care.

“You have a bonded mate and you’re with me?” Yes, he was yelling and yes his wolf was close to making an appearance, but Josh didn’t think he could be more confused. Sure in wolf society a true mate trumped a bonded one, but you never went claiming a true mate until you have at least talked to the one you were bonded too – that just wasn’t right.

“I
had
a bonded mate,” Vadim said and Josh wasn’t too far gone in anger to hear the hurt in his mate’s voice. His own anger immediately deflated. “He been dead for a very long time.”

Josh narrowed his eyes. “So you loved this guy, a lot I should imagine if you bonded with him and your promise was what, a death bed thing? You’ll never love again or something like that?”

“I was the one who found Edward’s dead body and it wasn’t in bed. The promise was made well before his death.” Every instinct in Josh’s body screamed at him to hold his vampire close, kiss him, smother him with his body and offer him comfort. No one should sound so dead inside and still be breathing. He settled for straddling his mate’s legs, wrapping his hands around Vadim’s neck and staring into the black pools that made up Vadim’s eyes.

“Tell me,” he said even as his heart lurched. Did he really want to hear this? No. No wolf shifter ever wanted to hear about their mate’s life with another man.  It stirred up far too many feelings of anger and jealousy. But Josh knew if this Edward person wasn’t laid to rest once and for all, he would never be able to trust his mate or their mating. “Tell me about Edward and why you made a promise like that to a bonded one.”

“Edward was human, one of my donors. He knew about our kind – this was back in Russia and where we lived the whole village knew about us. We kept them safe and everyone was happy. Anyhow, Edward wasn’t very secure in his looks, and he didn’t trust me very much, always accusing me of feeding or fucking someone else, even after I bonded with him.”

Josh’s wolf growled at the idea of their precious mate bonding with someone else, but Josh squashed him down. Vadim needed to get this story out, and the least Josh could do was listen.

“We’d been together about seventy five years or so…”

“Wait, you said Edward was human. He must have been like ancient by then.”

Vadim shook his head slightly. “If we bond or mate, our partner stops aging, just like we do. Edward looked twenty two when he was killed although he was over ninety. Unfortunately, being human, and you’ve got to remember this was a long time ago, Edward didn’t trust or understand the paranormal world.  He knew finding my true match was a real possibility and saw that idea as a threat to his life.”

“What do you mean? Would he die if you mated with someone else?”

“Not immediately no,” Vadim said, shaking his head. “Edward stopped aging at twenty two – if I mated with someone else, and stopped feeding from him, then he would start to age again and would live a normal human lifetime.”

“Well meeting me wouldn’t have been on the cards. I thought you said you were living in Russia at the time – it’s not exactly the sort of place I planned to visit for my holidays.”

Josh was fascinated by the slight twist in Vadim’s lips. Was his vampire smiling?

“I told you, it was a very long time ago, before you were born. Anyway,” Vadim continued, “Edward had started getting really angry with me over little things. He would restrict my feeding, claiming it made him weak, just keeping me on edge all the time.  He would throw tantrums, pick at me for the littlest things. But I loved him so much. I was buying him presents, took him on little trips, did everything I could to make him happy, but nothing seemed to work. As time went on his mental state just got worse and I was at my wits end trying to keep him happy.”

Josh kept his amusement about his big surly vampire running around trying to keep a human happy to himself. In his head Edward sounded like a spoiled little brat, but he wasn’t going to mention it.

“Finally, one day he went ballistic. We had been at a gathering at the coven and he accused me of making eyes at a visiting vampire from Rome. He screamed at me, begging me to promise that no matter even if I met my true match I would never leave him. I tried to explain, as I had done countless times before, that it would depend on who my true match was. If it was another vampire we would instantly bond as soon as we laid eyes on each other and I would no longer be able to feed from Edward. But he was so insistent and just wouldn’t listen to me. He knew if I promised him, I would keep my word, because honor is everything to a vampire.”

Josh rubbed his hands up the surprising softness of the back of Vadim’s neck, offering what comfort he could. When Vadim didn’t say anything else for a long minute, Josh said, “So you made a promise to walk away from your true match if you met him and that is why you walked away from me. I can kinda understand, you being in love with the guy and everything, but didn’t you also tell me that Edward has been dead a long time? It’s not as though you’ve left him for me, or you’re dishonoring him in any way now.”

“That was part of it, even though you are right. Edward is dead and your being in my life couldn’t hurt him anymore,” Vadim admitted. “But that’s not the reason I walked away from you. You have to understand - I’ve made a lot of enemies over the years, both in my home country and here in the States. I come from one of the six ruling families across the world and there are always younger vampires who want to make a name for themselves taking on someone older and stronger.”

“Sort of like a wolf pack thing where Alpha’s fight other young an up-and-comers and have to keep proving themselves, you mean?”

“I guess it would be a bit like that, but without the pack concept.” The smile Vadim gave him was tight and Josh flashed one back just as fast. He wanted his mate to keep talking. 

“Edward and I didn’t have much to do with the coven, even though I was Regent at the time. Regents can be as hands-on or as hands-off as they please.  But back then there were times when I had to travel on business and usually Edward would come with me. He didn’t have status as my mate, not like your Alpha Mate, but it was always accepted that he would accompany me if I had to go away.  Mates shouldn’t want to be apart…”

Vadim broke off and took a deep breath. Josh felt he had to say something. “For wolves, we always want to be with our mates – being apart can be painful even, so you don’t have to worry about any games or anything with me.”

Another small smile and the arms around Josh’s waist tightened.

“Anyway, this particular time, Edward categorically refused to come with me. Stamped his foot, threw a mega tantrum, reckoned there was no way he was going to be sleeping outside or spending all day on a horse. That he was too tired and…I actually thought he was seeing someone else at the time, but I didn’t say anything…”

“You couldn’t bear it, if you were right.” Josh saw Vadim nod and cursed the dead Edward even though it was not a nice thing to do. For all his talk and lack of trust in Vadim, the little shit probably was getting his jollies from someone else when Vadim had to travel, and he got to keep his looks and youth provided he let Vadim feed from him once in a while. What an asshole.

“I had no proof and my heart didn’t want to believe that someone I had loved for so long would betray me. So I left. You’ve got to remember that this was in a time before phones and cars and modern conveniences, so even a trip of fifty miles or so meant I was going to be away for at least three days, possibly more. This time I was gone just over a week.”

Vadim stopped, took another deep breath, as though fortifying himself, and then said, “When I got back our house was in ruins, smashed beyond repair and still smoldering.  I was terrified that Edward had been inside, but he hadn’t been so lucky. He’d been buried alive in front of the house, a crude arrow pointing to the place in the ground where I would find him. When I got his body out of the ground he was barely recognizable.”

This time Josh didn’t hesitate. Vadim’s automatic recital, his flat tones and almost formal words doing nothing to mask the pain the vampire was feeling – his scent was soured with it. Josh pulled Vadim’s head onto his chest and held the man close, pleased when, after a long moment, Vadim’s arms tightened around him and the trembling man hung on tight.

Josh couldn’t imagine a time without cars, or phones or where it was commonplace to bury someone alive, but that was in the past and not something Josh would ever experience. What he did have to worry about was how much Vadim was shaking, the pure misery that clouded Vadim’s scent as he relived the death of his bonded mate.  Josh stroked Vadim’s hair, so like his own, but so much lighter in color, and hoped that the beat of his heart or his own scent would soothe the man. Vadim didn’t struggle in his embrace, didn’t hide how he was feeling – maybe he knew how impossible it was to hide strong emotions from a wolf shifter, or maybe he was too steeped in grief to care.

It was a long time before Vadim’s scent lightened, and Josh got the idea that his mate was pulling himself together.  Unable to resist, because he was a wolf, and it was in his nature, Josh bent and whispered in Vadim’s ear, “Did you get them? The people who killed Edward.”

Vadim’s head came up and the man gave a low growl. “All four of them, buried alive just as they did to Edward. I stood guard and listened to them struggle to get free for two weeks underground before I pulled them up and ripped their heads from their bodies.”

Ugh, gruesome, but Josh’s wolf could understand the need for revenge even if the method seemed a little archaic.

“Did it help?” He said instead.

Vadim shrugged which Josh was starting to think was a standard answer for his taciturn mate. But then Vadim said, “The vampires that hurt Edward, took him and killed him, they were looking for me. They killed my bond mate because they knew it would hurt me even when they were cowards who didn’t have the guts to go after me themselves. I made the vow to never love again as I buried the men that killed him – if I didn’t love anyone else for the rest of my life then I would never have to go through the pain of knowing someone else was hurt or killed because of who I am.”

Even as he empathized with his mate, Josh had this overwhelming urge to laugh, but he did his best to hide it because Vadim wouldn’t understand. But he couldn’t help but wonder where he heard that line before – oh yeah, Damien.

/~/~/~/~/

Vadim was waiting for Josh to climb off him, to get up, get dressed or just plain kick him out of the house. When Josh settled down, getting more comfortable, happily resting his head on Vadim’s chest as though nothing was wrong, he had to admit to feeling a bit confused. Being so close, bare chest on bare chest, cocks nudged together with only a towel and a flimsy pair of sleep pants between them, was playing havoc with Vadim’s libido even after reliving the worst of his memories. Vadim wanted to kiss Josh, taste him, finally sink his fangs into Josh’s neck, mark them as mated. But he held himself back. He would not claim Josh until the man totally understood what Vadim’s vow meant for them as a couple.

“You do understand don’t you Josh?” He said out loud. “I can take you as my true match. I can stay by your side for as long we both shall live. But I can’t love you.”

Josh’s mouth twitched against his chest, and then he let out a funny sound. A rumble went through his chest and seconds later Vadim realized his mate was laughing. How the hell could the wolf be laughing about something so serious and potentially damaging to a mated pair? Wolves fell in love at the drop of a hat, even Vadim knew that. But he’d never love Josh in return.

“I’m not laughing at you,” Josh hiccupped clearly trying to stop his laughter as he raised his head. Vadim was inclined to believe him although the mirth was still evident in the gleaming eyes and the wide smile. “It’s just Damien, he’s the Alpha of my home pack and like a hundred and sixty odd years old or something like that. He’d made the same vow when he was twenty and then he met Scott, who is Troy’s twin, and boom – three weeks later he was soppier than any of the other mated couples. I know you believe what you’re saying, but I have faith in the Fates, so I am not going to call you on it, or tease you, when you’re proven wrong. The Fates have paired me with the one man perfect for me, and my mate will love me eventually, even if it takes a bit of time.”

“My vow has stood for four hundred years.” Vadim was a little bit annoyed with his mate’s casual attitude. Didn’t the wolf understand that he was powerful, strong and more controlled than any other vampire in existence, except perhaps his mother?