Wanting It All: A Naked Men Novel (14 page)

Madison planted her hands on her very shapely hips. Hips that provided an anchor when he was deep inside her. Yeah, whatever she wanted to do with the bread, he was on board if it meant more sex. “When was the last time you sat down with your colleagues, Knox? Aside from a normal staff meeting. Have you shared a meal with them?”

“Sure. Of course. When we’re under deadline or really juiced about a new idea, takeout flows through here like beer through a frat house. Research and development wouldn’t exist without pizza and moo shu pork.”

“You’re not listening. That is all work-related.”

“Because we’re at work.” He wasn’t sure what she was driving at, but Knox was sure he was getting a little annoyed. Nobody challenged him at work.

“Do you have birthday parties every month? Wedding showers? Do you ever take the whole office out to celebrate when somebody gets an article published in a scientific journal?”

Right. And he brought in masseurs to rub their feet every other hour. What did she think this was—the Google campus? Knox wasn’t one of those people who believed in ball pits and games to de-stress in the middle of a workday. Doctors didn’t do it. Lawyers didn’t do it. So his coding wizards damn sure weren’t going to. Because the programs they were working on to redo the software for drones could easily mean life or death. That wasn’t something to be squeezed in between rounds of hacky-sack.

He almost sneered at the picnic basket. But who knew—maybe offices were more touchy-feely in Alaska. Striving for a patient tone, Knox explained, “This isn’t a club, Madison. It’s a place of business. A serious one. People can goof off on their own time.”

“It’s not goofing off. It’s strengthening bonds. If you understand one another better, you can work together better. Personalization optimizes efficiency.”

For fuck’s sake. Madison didn’t understand coders at all. But she had his best interest at heart, so Knox bit back the urge to snap at her. “Really? You think sitting around over dry grocery store cake every month will improve our ability to refine our software?”

A flush reddened her cheeks. He didn’t know if it meant Madison was just being passionate about her belief, or if she was as annoyed as he was. She pointed at the Mercedes logo on his keychain, sitting on the desk. “I think that someone with your bankroll could spring for something a little nicer than grocery store cake. And yes, it will have a long-term effect on every aspect of your business if your employees know that they can trust one another.”

That zinger hit home. It reminded him of Rose and Clark’s unspoken competition. Maybe if they did trust one another, they’d stop poking and start brainstorming more. Or it could simply be an hour lost every month that added up to more than a full workday lost over the course of a year.

Knox crowded in close to Madison. He wouldn’t raise his voice to her. But he did want her to be aware that she’d crossed a line. To see the seriousness in his eyes. To take it to heart enough to not poke at him again. “Look, you can’t come in here and start spouting off about how to improve things. You don’t know
anything
about my business.”

To her credit, Madison didn’t back up. Instead, she jutted her chin forward and leaned in even closer. “I know that you want to sell it. And I feel deep in my bones that’s not the right way to go.”

Great. Somebody who wasn’t a multimillionaire entrepreneur like himself was daring to give him business advice. A freaking librarian, of all things. “Your bones have something against making millions of dollars?”

She threw out an arm to point at the door leading to the rest of the office. “Aren’t you making millions of dollars
now
?”

In interest alone, thanks to some sound financial planning. “Maybe.”

“Do you really need more?”

“Always,” he bit out without a single qualm or hesitation. “We covered this already, Madison. When you start out with no money, there’s never enough. You don’t stop banking against the day that might come when something goes wrong. I have to support my mother. I have to support myself, and my friends.”

Madison pounced. Literally hopped forward a little, with a stabby index finger to his sternum. “Your friends the ACSs? The ones I met the other day who all have stable jobs?”

And various-sized trust funds. But he sure as hell wasn’t spilling that info onto her side of the argument. “So they wouldn’t be collecting food stamps without me. But I like to give them a nice place to live, fun vacations. It’s the least I can do to pay them back.”

“For what? For saving your life in Italy? Because you all argued pretty vociferously that you saved yourselves.”

“For being my friends,” he burst out. God, Knox hated it when he dropped the persona of the über-successful, Casanova businessman. Hated it when his inner twelve-year-old pushed forward and grabbed the reins of his emotions. It didn’t happen often. But he couldn’t stop it once it did. “For taking pity on the nerdy charity-case kid that everyone else mocked and looked down on. For seeing that I was worthwhile. For sticking with me.”

A white-noise machine hummed in the corner. Music distracted him. Knox needed to hear the equations making their own music in his head when he worked. But right now the humming just made for a flat background of nothing while Madison looked at him with eyes suddenly wide and damp and so damn sorrowful.

“Oh, Knox,” Madison said softly.

“So yeah, I’ll be grateful to them for the rest of my life. A few fucking radiant heating coils to warm up their bathroom floors and a butler don’t begin to pay them back. But at least it’s something. A token.”

Unable to bear the pity in her eyes another moment, he strode to the windows and yanked open the blinds. The view—one that so many couldn’t begin to afford—soothed him. Reminded him of how far he’d come.

Madison sidled up next to him. Even though she was the one who’d caused his outburst, her nearness soothed him. Weird. “I’m guessing Griffin and Riley and Josh would hate it if they heard you talk about paying them back.”

Letting his forehead drop to the glass, he said, “They’d eviscerate me. Hell, Logan would probably fly back from Wherever-the-fuck-istan he is, just to help them. But it doesn’t change the way I feel. It doesn’t mitigate the debt I can’t ever repay.”

She slid her hand around his. “They’re your family.”

“Yes.” With her fingers touching the almost invisible scar on his palm, Knox had to add, “Actual blood brothers, even.”

“Your family means everything to you.”

“Yeah.”

Now she leaned against his side. “Don’t you see that you’ve created an offshoot family here, with your company? All of you working together for a common goal? Depending on each other? Supporting each other?”

“That’s hitting below the belt.” It was impossible not to at least acknowledge her point. As much as the media touted him as a business success? Madison was making him feel like a little bit of a failure right now. In a
not-loving-what-he-saw-in-the-mirror
way. And when something didn’t work, Knox was always the first one in line to come up with a way to fix it. He started by squeezing her hand back.

“I’m sorry if I’m pushing. I just want you to put faces to those numbers you’re crunching. Maybe you’ll never have enough money. But I’ll bet a lot of them feel security right now, working for you. Feel like they have enough. And maybe that’ll be yanked out from under them with the sale of the company. Get to know your people. Spend half an hour eating some truly remarkable bread and swapping stories. See them as people, not just as computers with faces. Know that I’ve spent my whole life yearning for a family, a place to belong, people who depend on me every day…and you’ve got all of that right here. So you’re even richer than you think.”

It was a simple enough request, on the face of it. But Knox knew damn well it might lead to something the opposite of simple. He turned to look into those golden brown eyes. “You’re complicating everything.”

Madison ran her fingertips down his cheek, as soft as a shadow. “Don’t blame me. Life is complicated. Messy.”

Messy didn’t work for him. Knox preferred order. Craved it, with scientific precision. “You’re pissing me off, you know. Poking your nose into my business.”

“I’m not telling you how to design a computer program.” She threw back her head and let out a throaty laugh. “God, I couldn’t if I wanted to. But business has to be about more than numbers and product. You’re so generous, so giving. But you’ve kept that part of yourself separate from your work. Just try opening it up.”

“As much as you piss me off, I’ve got to hand it to you—your tenacity is a turn-on.”

“Your brain and my tenacity. We’ve got weird, weird fetishes. Good thing we found each other.”

“I really think it is.” Then Knox just stared into her eyes. Like a sap. Couldn’t help it. Madison made him
think
—and what scientist could resist that?

Madison unbuckled his belt.

“What are you doing?” He’d never admit it out loud, but Knox thought they’d been having a moment. A special moment. A new-to-him moment.

“I came here to bring the bread. But yes, I also came for sex.” Down went his zipper. “You don’t get to call all the shots. And my break from the Library isn’t that long. So we need to get to it.”

“In front of the sacred sharing bread?” he joked.

She shrugged with a half smirk that was absolutely adorable. “It’s covered up. Everything will stay sanitary. Especially if we do it right here at the window.”

Automatically Knox glanced outside. There was an office building across the street. Probably no one could see in with the harsh afternoon sun. Why the hell not? Any opportunity to get down her pants or up her skirt was an opportunity too good to be missed. He started to unbutton his shirt.

“Huh-uh. We need to stay dressed, in case anyone comes looking for you.”

“The door’s locked.” Knox had added that precaution after the fire drill. He couldn’t have just anyone bursting in, not with drone schematics up on every screen.

“Then stay dressed, ’cause it makes afternoon window sex that much hotter.” Madison freed him from his boxer briefs. Cupped his balls that already felt tight as a drum.

Knox hissed in a tight breath. “Have I told you how much I like your style?”

“No time for sweet talk. Or foreplay. Okay, maybe a little.” She dropped to her knees and took his dick into her mouth.

Jesus H. tap-dancing Christ, but it felt good.

The sight of her at his feet, licking him up and down, would be an image he’d revisit for the rest of his life. She’d popped open two buttons on her white shirt, so he could see the lacy cups of her bra. Could see the deep valley between her breasts that was the second place he’d like to shove his dick. And then she oh-so-faintly skated the tips of her nails from his ass crack forward, around his ball sack, and Knox couldn’t hold back a groan.

He did grab her by the elbows and hoist her up. Not just to her feet, but to stand on the air vent that ran along the bottom of the window. It brought them even in height.

“I didn’t know what sort of supplies you keep in your office, so I brought napkins and knives…and this.” Madison produced a condom from her bra. Ripped it open with her teeth while smiling at him the whole time.

“You’re remarkable.”

“That takes the sting off the
annoying
you called me a few minutes ago.” And then she winked. “So we can proceed.” She rolled the condom on him. Knox started to gather up her skirt, but Madison stopped him with a tsk of her tongue. “No need to wrinkle me unduly.”

Grabbing his shoulder, Madison lowered herself down until he was all the way inside her. One leg wrapped around his hip, her sharp heel digging into the small of his back. Knox didn’t give a shit. It was fantastic.
Dirty afternoon quickie in the office, against the window,
combined so many great sex scenarios into one mind-blowing experience. Not to mention having it with a stacked, D-cup blonde who got under his skin in every way imaginable.

It had to be just as good for her, though. She’d already been wet upon entry, but Knox wanted to be sure Madison was right there with him. He pinched her nipple. Pretty hard, so she’d feel it through the bra. Her eyes squeezed shut.

“Too hard?”

“No. Too
good.
”

Ah. Should’ve remembered that Madison was loud and lusty. “Is this a good time to mention my office is soundproofed?” he asked, deliberately twisting her nipple again.

“Yes.
Yes!
” she yelled. Madison slung her other leg at his waist. “How about you prove all those ripped muscles you’ve got aren’t just for show?”

“My pleasure.” Knox palmed her ass with his hands and picked up the pace. Hard. Fast. A little squeaky from the friction of her leather belt against the window. The sun painted a halo around her golden hair, turning her into his very own personal sex angel.

So. Fucking. Hot. Fucking. Her.

And then she gripped him with her inner muscles in a way that knocked out all his control. Knox drove into her, murmuring he didn’t even know what in her ear. Hopefully his massively hard dick had left his brain enough blood to remember to tell Madison how gorgeous she was, how tight she was, how much he loved being inside her. Or maybe it was all dirty promises and the threat of: what if the guy across the street could see them?

He readjusted his grip, slanted the angle of approach a little differently, went slightly deeper. Madison slammed her left arm out to the side, palm down against the glass. Whispered, “Let’s come now,” and sent him over the edge, bucking against him with sexy little squeals as he threw his head back and let out a groan so deep it made his throat raw.

That’s how he felt with Madison. Just on the good edge of raw. More exposed than he’d been in…well, forever.

Madison bit his earlobe. Murmured low, “I’ll bet a couple of slices of bread with strawberry jam would keep you out of the post-sex snooze zone.”

Son of a bitch, but she was stubborn. As damned stubborn as he was. It kind of cracked him up. “Like I said—tenacious. To a fault.”

Madison’s eyes widened at the blue-uniformed hottie brushing by her. He was definitely five years too young for her, but what living, breathing woman didn’t appreciate a man in uniform? And here on the Coast Guard base, she was surrounded by lots of uniformed hotness. There were definitely worse ways to spend a Saturday.

“Thanks for bringing me to your stomping grounds, Griffin. This is a treat.”

He tucked his white cap under his arm. “Hanging with me? Or mentally stripping the ensigns, like Chloe does when she comes here?”

It’d be lying not to admit she appreciated the view. It also might be too soon to admit how darn grateful she was for every scrap of friendship offered. It meant she was putting down roots. Building a nest of interwoven people.

Huh.

Oh.

Maybe…just maybe…it meant she was feeling as pathetically indebted to this man as Knox did. Okay, not
as
much, due to knowing him a week instead of a lifetime, but the flash of insight gave her a deeper level of connection and understanding to the bold, successful multimillionaire who still couldn’t shake the shadow of his lonely inner nerd. Madison was desperate to put down roots. Knox was desperate to keep and appreciate the ones he already had. Funny how it took a trip to soldier central for her to make the connection.

Tossing her hair in a well-practiced, flirty angle at another muscled military man—since it was only polite to show appreciation for all those muscles he’d undoubtedly slaved to get—Madison answered, “How about all of the above?”

“Fair enough.” Griffin elbowed her. “I’ll drop by the Library of Congress one of these days and ogle all your half-naked women painted on the ceilings. How’s that for evening the score?”

“You’re not supposed to notice that they’re half-naked. You’re supposed to appreciate the classical representation of the Muses and other symbolic—” Madison cut herself off, because who was she kidding? “Sure thing. Come stare at the exposed boobies to your heart’s content.”

“I’m going to tell Knox you said that, but leave out the context, just to watch his head explode.”

“That’s ridiculous. Knox wouldn’t be jealous.”

Griffin shot off a salute crisper than a Granny Smith apple to another officer. “He absolutely would be. Chloe told me so last night. Knox watched you walk to the bathroom when we were at the stadium. Just zoned out of the conversation and watched you sashay. Her word, not mine. That means he’s a goner.”

It was always nice to have her hopes and presumptions verified by an independent source. Especially since her pro/con list ascertaining Knox’s suitability as a husband was decidedly lopsided. The pro column boasted twenty-three items, including his alerting her to a previously undiscovered erogenous zone an inch over and up from her hip, and the good grace with which he’d actually thrown himself into chatting with his employees during their afternoon break.

The con column contained only two items. The first was his obscene wealth and fixation with increasing it. Knowing its origin, Madison figured she could learn to overlook it. Better yet, help him channel some of it to helping others. Very possible.

The second item was his stubborn insistence on not wanting to get married. No, his insistence on not wanting to settle for a single woman when apparently he could—and did—hook up with every new pair of boobs that came to D.C. Given the rotating two- and six-year terms, lobbyists, tourists, and an unending stream of fresh interns, his rotation would never have to go on repeat. How could she convince him that sharing a life with someone was better than re-introducing yourself every three days? Didn’t
that
get old?

She’d successfully lured him over into boyfriend territory. But Madison knew darn well crossing into long-term commitment meant bridging a gap wider than Devil’s Canyon. “Knox wouldn’t be jealous of my spending time with you because he sees how happy you are with Chloe. You two are adorable.”

Griffin covered her mouth with his hand, exaggerated chagrin contorting his features. “Keep your voice down. You can’t call a squadron leader
adorable
within two hundred feet of any of his men.”

“Sorry. You appear to be a successful and compatible unit. How’s that?”

“Weird, but better.”

Her tennis shoes squeaked on the concrete floor as they rounded the corner into another enormously long, enormously gray hallway. Madison couldn’t resist prodding Griffin a little. Because if she couldn’t be on the road to matrimony yet, it’d sure be nice to soak up the view vicariously. “Just between you and me, are you planning to make her Mrs. Squadron Leader anytime soon?”

His shoulders squared back a touch more, his head snapping an iota straighter. Basically it looked like her words had shoved annoyance through him like a hot knife through seal blubber. “It’s not up to me.”

“Sure it is.”

“I bought the ring. Gave her the box. Swore my undying love. And then announced the actual proposal was up to her, when she was ready. It was supposed to be a romantic gesture. So that she could, metaphorically, rescue me. Like when the Prince kisses Snow White in the glass coffin.”

“You know Snow White? The ACSs strike me more as a disaster flick, thriller group than Disney and singing animals.”

“I helped out on a Tiger Cruise last month. That’s when we invite friends and family onto a vessel for a couple of days to see what life on board is like. They showed
Snow White
to calm everyone down after dinner.”

“But you aren’t assigned to a ship. You’re a helicopter pilot, right?”

He rubbed his hand along his jaw. “I pissed off my C.O. Bent the rules more than he liked during a rescue. It worked out in the end. Even bagged myself an unplanned-for promotion out of it. But before that kicked in, he wanted to punish me so that I wouldn’t forget how badly I screwed up. Made me the lead liaison officer to the kids.”

Madison tried to hold back her giggle at the vision of the sexy and charming man next to her wiping sticky faces and keeping wriggly toddlers away from the railing. Nope. The giggle escaped as a snort, then turned into a full-blown chortle. “Did you learn your lesson?”

“That I’m not ready for kids yet? Hell, yeah.” Griffin thumped the side of her bag. “You’ll need to show your I.D. again at the armory.”

“You’re stalling. Or changing the subject. Why won’t Chloe propose? It’s as obvious as antlers on a moose that she loves you.”

“Yeah. She does.” For a second, that ramrod-straight posture loosened. His face softened. If nobody had been within earshot, Madison would’ve accused the lieutenant of going googly-eyed. “I don’t know why she’s waiting. But I won’t push her.”

Madison sighed. It was impossible not to respect his patience, and the amount of love it represented. “Doesn’t it drive you a little crazy? The not knowing?”

“A lot crazy,” he corrected. “Which I hope to work off by shooting the shit out of things. What are you here trying to work out?”

“Are you trying to psychoanalyze me, Lieutenant?”

“I’m wondering why you asked to come to target practice with me instead of grabbing some sun on the Mall or seeing the sights.”

“I’m going to spend the whole afternoon at the National History Museum tomorrow.” And very probably obsess about how she’d been in town for almost a month and still hadn’t heard from her half-brother.

Madison had set a time limit at thirty days. Not to give up—because she’d keep seeking him out till her dying day. But to get help locating him. The trouble was that that undoubtedly meant asking her absentee father
with whom she’d never spoken
to tell her how to find his son. That was not a desirable solution on many levels. “But today, I need to work at keeping my wilderness skills sharp in this urban jungle.”

Griffin led her through a steel door, and signed in on a clipboard. The man behind the desk took her I.D., but didn’t do more than glance at it. Instead, he exchanged a long and complicated series of handshakes, fist bumps, and salutes with Griffin that ended with them both crossing their eyes.

“You want the 9mm today, Lieutenant?”

Griffin cocked an eyebrow at Madison in question. What, did he think she’d ask for a pink pistol that fit in a sparkly clutch? At her brisk nod of assent, he said, “Of course. But check me out the machine gun, too.” The clerk went back into the closet to grab ammunition, the weapons, and protective gear.

“A machine gun? That seems hardcore. And bizarre for a pilot to use.”

“There’s an M240H machine gun on my search-and-rescue helicopter. As the SAR pilot, I’m in charge of the whole shebang. Which means that I need to be certified on all the equipment. I’ve never used it in flight, but that doesn’t mean I stop being prepared.”

Griffin was a man after her own heart. “See? That’s why I’m here. To stay prepared.”

He frowned down at her. “D.C.’s got crime, but not much on the streets that’d involve someone who’s smart and aware. Are you that worried about a home invasion?”

“I’m not worried, because I know how to defend myself. It really is more about keeping up wilderness skills for when I go back to Alaska. I’m more scared of a moose in heat or a mama bear than I am of a mugger.”

“You’re already planning to go home?”

“Well, as soon as I have a fiancé, I’ll need to take him home to meet my mother.”

Griffin blinked. “They’re not something you can order out for like egg rolls, you know.”

It was impressive how he’d rolled with her statement, but still obvious she’d caught him off guard. “Chloe didn’t tell you that one of the reasons I moved out here is to find my one true love?”

“Not Chloe. Knox, well, he might have mentioned something along those lines. That you’re in a hurry to get married. We all figured he overexaggerated. You know, because he’s so damn allergic to the concept. Hearing you admit it just surprised me.”

Madison was more than a little sick and tired of people being so surprised that she had a plan for her future. A more focused plan than some, sure, but no different than deciding that you want to buy a Tudor house with an in-ground pool, or spend three weeks cruising the Greek Islands. “I’d rather be up front than all sneaky about it.”

“Good.” He took the armful of equipment from the ensign and jerked his head toward the door marked
WARNING—LIVE FIRE
.

Madison wanted to get on with it. But she also wanted to make sure the air was clear between them. She wanted to keep weaving herself a thick, comforting quilt of friends. And if they happened to be Knox’s, too, so much the better. She paused, one hand on the door handle. “This won’t change how you see me, will it? Because I don’t know many people here. I really, really like your whole group.”

“We like you, too.” Then he retracted his neck like a turtle pulling into its shell, and backed away a few steps. “As long as you realize I’m off-limits in your husband hunt.”

“Disappointing, of course, but acknowledged.”

“Then let’s get going. A moose is a lot bigger than the targets we use. Let’s see if you can keep up with me.”

“Are you trash-talking me, Griffin?”

“You’re one of us now. That’s what we do.”

It was the nicest thing he could’ve said.

Knox raised his voice so it carried out of the wood and stone–lined wine cellar to where Madison stood in the hallway. “You’re going to love this wine. A complex but fruit-balanced 2013 Caymus Cabernet Sauvignon.”

With an adorable crinkle to her nose, Madison said, “It could be a box of the Saturday night special for all I’d notice.”

“Shh! Don’t mention the B word around all my painstakingly chosen and hoarded bottles of liquid gold.” Setting the bottle on the high black marble table where they did tastings, he walked to the shelf by the door to choose a decanter. His mom liked to get him one as a souvenir from every trip he sent her on, so Knox had quite the collection. They represented his mom’s happiness. It gave him a gut check of satisfaction every time he used one, as well as being a reminder to plan another trip for her soon.

“You’re a wine snob.”

Knox didn’t take it as an insult. Still, he couldn’t let it lie. “I’m a wine enthusiast,” he corrected. After soundlessly expelling the cork, he carefully decanted the wine, breathing in the rich blackberry and vanilla notes. “Some people are enthusiastic about slasher movies. I prefer wine. Just a choice in what to do with your downtime.”

“I’ve liked everything you’ve served me. And I want to learn. I just don’t want you to waste an expensive bottle on me.”

Lots of other people who knew about his wealth—hell,
most
other people besides the ones who lived with him—always expected him to pick up the check. To spring for an expensive bottle of wine for the table. To pay for the taxi at a conference. Knox was a generous guy who didn’t mind, most of the time. But how Madison kept going out of her way to
not
spend his money was incredibly refreshing. Weirdly, it made him want to shower her with gifts even more. But what did you give the woman who didn’t seem to want anything…besides a husband?

“If you enjoy it, there’s no waste. And I guarantee I’ll enjoy licking the taste of it from your lips.”

Madison came in a few more steps. Ran her hand across the back of the brown leather club chair in a suggestive way that made him want to beg her to touch him like that. Except he knew he didn’t need to beg. Madison seemed to crave the feel of his skin as much as Knox did hers. He loved how well their passion meshed. How similar they were in their enjoyment of each other’s bodies. She licked her cupid’s bow, slicked a pale pink tonight. “In that case, crack out the good stuff. Maybe it’ll end up a few other places besides my lips.”

“Much as I like that idea, it probably shouldn’t go down in here. The room’s temperature is controlled to an optimal fifty-four degrees. Perfect for Cabernets and Syrahs. Less so for a hot fuck with my hot woman.” Grabbing the decanter and two goblets, he closed the door and the iron gate behind them.

“You’ve got, what…five floors to this place? I think we’ll find an option preferable to a walk-in fridge. Although you seem to forget I’m from Alaska.” She swished the skirt of her yellow sundress, lifted it high above her knees. “Fifty-four degrees is bikini weather to me.”