Wanted (13 page)

I bit my lip and stared at the houses flying past, my eyes burning with unshed tears. Well, there was always Matt. Maybe I could learn to love Matt in a more-than-friends way? Maybe once he bit me, I’d feel something romantic for him, like my mom suggested.

Conor pulled into his driveway and parked in front of the three car garage. I followed him through the foyer, vaguely wondering if my mom’s high school sweetheart was somewhere in the massive house. If Conor and I managed to stay friends, I’d have to ask him about his dad and my mom.

I dragged my feet up the stairs as Conor led me into a small den-like room. At least it wasn’t his bedroom. Or the library where he’d kissed me.

This room was paneled in dark wood the same color as the wood floor. A leather couch lined one wall. Across from it sat a large ornate desk with one of those executive-type leather chairs. A large flat-screen TV took up the far wall, surrounded by different electronics. I recognized one as a DVD player and one as a game console; the rest was foreign to me.

I sat in the desk chair to keep my distance and spun to face him. I clenched my hands, hopefully the only outward sign of my nervousness.

He had paused in the doorway, not quite looking at me. “Would you like something to drink?”

“Sure. Um, water, please?” My throat was pretty dry. He left. I didn’t move, just studied the leather couch across from me. It was the same color as Conor’s hair—black as a raven.

I hoped he took a long time coming back; I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. I didn’t want him to put into words what I could already see on his face. I really just wanted out of the suddenly oppressive mansion. I was done. I needed Matt, his comfort, his solidity, his reliability.

I stood, firm in my decision to leave. Forget this heartache. I jogged down the stairs, eyes on the front door and freedom. Voices stopped me dead in my tracks. Holding my breath, I flattened myself against the wall and strained to hear their words.

“She’s here? Have you convinced her?” It was a woman’s voice, cultured, smooth, full of power.

“No, Mother.” Conor’s voice was full of formality, but it was a different tone than usual.

“Well, you’re running out of time. The Council wants you to bite her on Friday. For goodness’ sake, seduce the girl. Have you forgotten? You must do this for me, Conor, for us. I am counting on you.” She bordered on shrill. My vision shrunk to a pinpoint, black blurring the edges.

I tried to exhale quietly so I could fill my burning lungs with oxygen. I was afraid I might heave right there on the stairs and wondered if I could make it to the door without them seeing or hearing me.

“I understand. I’m doing my best to convince her. It’s…complicated.” Conor’s voice was steely now. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I was his freaking job? My earlier dread drained out of me, replaced by anger and the need to be as far away from this place as possible.

“Complicated?” Her voice rose. “You said she harbored affection for you. Get it done. Do not fail me.” Ice queen. Conor’s dad had moved from my mom to that? The woman sounded heartless.

“Yes, Mother.” Conor’s voice was just as icy. I wondered if he and his mom didn’t get along.

Why did I care? I was so out of there. The sound of shoes on the wooden floors faded deeper into the house and I seized my chance, bolting for the front door.

Once free, I sucked in fresh air greedily, continuing to run down the block, ignoring the fancy houses and gated driveways, tears flowing freely.

Goddess, I hated when I was right! He didn’t really like me after all. He was being pressured by his mom to make me his familiar. I slowed as the mansions gave way to slightly smaller Victorians and dug my phone out of my pocket. I wanted to call Cora, but she didn’t have a car. I called Matt.

“Ash?” He answered. “I thought you were with Conor.”

“Matt. Will you come get me? I’m like…” I looked around and gave a hoarse laugh. “I’m in the same place you picked me up on Saturday.”

Everything in my pathetic life had come full circle in a matter of a few days. This was where it had all started, and now, where it was all ending. I stopped walking and tried to catch my breath, eyes hot from tears. My chest tightened, my stomach churned with nausea. I was a hot mess.

“What’s wrong?” His voice over the phone sounded alarmed.

I shook my head, fighting back sobs, before I realized dumbly he couldn’t see me.

“Just…come…get me…please,” I begged in between heaving breaths, trying not to cry on the phone. I ended the call and tucked my phone away, looking up to the bright blue sky, so like Matt’s eyes, unblemished by clouds.

I exhaled deeply, closing my eyes, willing myself to calm. I could sense all the life around me. The large, old trees lining the street, the lush green grass of the lawns, and farther the faint traces of the people in their homes. If I concentrated, I could sense each person nearby. Once I grew more familiar with someone and knew them better, it took less effort to feel them. If I really concentrated, I could tell how far away Matt was right now.

I needed more distance from Conor. I started walking again, throwing a furtive glance over my shoulder, not seeing Conor’s black SUV anywhere. I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or not. What would he think when he went back to the room with a glass of water, only to find me gone?

Reluctantly, I retrieved my phone and decided to text him.

Had 2 go talk 2 u l8r?

His response came immediately. Had he been waiting for me to let him know something?

Go where? R u walking? Really need 2 talk.

Matts coming. nthng 2 talk about

So his mom had told him to claim me. I wondered what she wanted from me, and if the Council was behind her, or if she was acting on her own. Sorry to rain on all their plans, this witch had decided she wasn’t going to be owned, by anyone, period.

The Council could bite me…okay, not literally. The Council could go screw themselves. Yes, much better. Screw them and their decision I had to be claimed.

Conor didn’t text me back so I figured he was either still thinking of a reply or was accepting my excuse. Guys were great at not sending any unnecessary texts. Cora always sent me back one last text, usually just saying ‘k.’

Matt pulled over to the side of the road and I got in. I really, really needed to stop walking away from tense situations. This scenario was getting all too familiar.

He looked me over with concern, eyes pinched at the corners, mouth set in a harsh line. “What the hell happened?”

I leaned my elbow on the door and rested my forehead on my hand. “Just drive. Anywhere. I’ll explain.”

He obliged. I gave myself a couple minutes to compose my thoughts.

“I overheard Conor and his mom discussing me.” I finally started. “She was telling him to get on with it, to seduce me already, to use my affection for him.” My voice caught, and I swallowed a sob. Wow. Powerful witch? More like powerful wuss.

“Check your blocks, Ash. You’re projecting.” Matt’s voice came out strained.

“Sorry,” I mumbled as I fixed my mental blocks. Like I said—powerful wuss.

“Are you sure you heard it right?” His voice was back to normal since I was no longer leaking my misery all over him.

“Yep. Definitely sure. And this was all after Conor wouldn’t talk to me all afternoon or on the ride to his house. I asked him if he was still interested and he just said we needed to talk.” I gave a harsh laugh. “I knew this is how things would turn out. That’s why I was so reluctant to get involved. But he’s good, Conor freaking Peterson. He knows what he’s doing. He had me eating out of the palm of his hand, which, you know, wasn’t hard, since he knew I liked him already.” I wasn’t looking at Matt, just watching the houses go by and venting my frustration.

“Goddess! He even apologized to me last night in your room, when he wouldn’t bite me. He told me he could seduce me to the point where I’d beg him to do it. I’m such an idiot.” I turned to Matt. “That must have been his plan all along, huh?”

His hands were white on the steering wheel, his face whiter. “I had no idea, Ash. He told me he was interested in you weeks ago. That you intrigued him, and he wanted to get to know you. I thought…” Matt looked at me, eyes sad. “I thought he was being honest. He’s my friend, and he obviously knew how I felt about you. I didn’t think…”

He fell silent and pulled the car over, throwing it into park. He slammed the heels of his hands into the steering wheel a couple times. “Motherfucker!”

I jumped and watched him with wide eyes. He pressed his lips together, hands gripping the steering wheel and twisting. His breath came in loud drags and blows. My own irritation drained as his anger beat at me.

“Matt. It’s no big,” I tried to calm him. “I promise, I’m fine.” How funny. Here, I’d wanted comfort from him and he seemed more upset by this than I was. I guess he’d trusted Conor more than I had. And he’d trusted Conor with someone he loved, me. Matt didn’t like being played any more than I did.

My phone vibrated. I dragged my eyes away from Matt digging his fingers into his sandy hair and looked at my phone. It was Conor.

Will u let me explain? pls

I glanced at Matt. He was somewhere between royally pissed and kind of depressed. I felt sick to my stomach with a whole lot of “I told you so” running through my head.

nothing 2 explain. it’s over. tell ur mom sorry.

Matt had calmed down enough to resume driving, his lips pressed together as he glared at the road.

I’ll give u tonight, but this is not over.

I laughed harshly, drawing a curious look from Matt.

“Conor thinks there’s some way he’s still in the picture.” I held up my phone with a smirk.

Matt raised a shoulder. “Maybe there is an explanation?”

“So you’re over this already?” What was it with guys and beating things, and then they felt all better? Damn. Wish that worked for me.

“I’m just saying. It looks bad now, but we don’t know the whole story.”

“You really don’t want to be the one to bite me, do you?”

Matt’s face drained of all color, blue eyes widening, full of pain and want. “I do. I really do. But I know it would be worse for me. So no, I really don’t want to have to. Does that make any sense?”

I nodded, the lump in my throat making it impossible to say anything. He knew I didn’t feel the same way about him as he did for me. Biting me would be a kind of torture for him. So close to what he wanted, yet not able to grasp it. Yet, I knew he would do it. For me, he would suffer. He really was my knight in shining armor—or sharp fangs, anyway. Why couldn’t I love this boy as more than a brother? I returned my attention to the window as he pulled into my driveway.

“Maybe the rest of the week will go by super fast. Or the Council will forget all about you and not force you into this,” he offered hopefully.

“Yeah, right,” I muttered, opening the door. “Not holding my breath.” I leaned over and gave him a hug, drinking in his familiar scent.

“Thanks, Matty,” I whispered.

“Anytime.”

I didn’t want to go to school the next day. I didn’t want to face Conor, or Tre, or Matt, or answer Cora’s questions. So I stayed home and hid with my
Book of Shadows
, looking for a spell to aid me with my dilemma.

The Book was leather bound and old, having been passed down through my mom’s family for generations. It was a grimoire, containing mostly spells and instructions for rituals. The handwriting in the front was small and hard to read.

As I flipped through the yellowed pages, it got easier to read, as the more recent generations had bigger handwriting and better spelling. I scanned each page, reading the titles of spells, looking for something, anything to help.

For a Bountiful Harvest. To Ward off the Pox. To Bind Someone. To Turn Someone into a Frog.
Whoa! Was that even possible?

I scanned the cramped writing. The spell only made someone act like a frog. Hmm. Maybe I could save that one for later. I shook my head, chuckling, and continued my search. Wait a tick.
A Cloaking Spell.
Cloaking, like hiding. That might be useful. I gathered up my book and made my way to the attic.

The attic room was a large, open space. The ceiling comprised of wooden rafters, the floor wooden floorboards. There was one small window facing east and beneath it was my parents’ altar. They had made this room our sacred working space. I immediately felt at ease as I entered the room. I could feel both my mom’s and dad’s energies in here, lingering, positive and comforting.

A large chest of drawers sat on the north wall. It contained spell ingredients and was covered by candles of various colors and sizes. Bunches of dried herbs hung from the rafters near the west end of the room. Bookshelves filled with books lined the southern wall.

Making magick wasn’t second nature to me yet. I should have been up here the first time I’d heard of my predicament, meditating and searching for an answer. Searching for a solution even through magick wasn’t natural, yet. The more I used it, though, the more it would be.

I didn’t need any boy to protect me. I did not want to be a pawn of the Vampire Council. I was going to take care of this myself. If I was so damn powerful, why shouldn’t I be able to take care of myself?

Determined, I set my
Book of Shadows
on the purple cloth-covered altar and set about gathering ingredients. In the chest, I found my athame, a birthday gift from my parents when I turned thirteen. The knife had a dark wooden hilt set with red stones, not what I would have chosen for myself, though, and that was important when using magickal tools. It wasn’t really me, and I decided I needed to do some shopping for magickal tools that felt more natural.

After I’d gathered everything I needed, I called the four elements and cast a circle in front of the altar. The incense represented air, the lit candles were fire, a small bowl of salt acted as earth, and a small bowl of water rounded out the elements.