Want Me (13 page)

Shannon stared down at his picture, his smile, and she shivered as she remembered the feel of his body so intimately tangled with her own. There was no way in hell she could take the time off to go to Bali.

But she was beginning to think she might not have a choice.

* * *

N
ATE
WAS
ON
THE
PHONE
WITH
George, his direct boss, and the man who was in charge of all projects, excluding fundraising and marketing. George told them all where to go, those who were on the payroll, who were few, and those who consulted or volunteered, who were the real backbone of the IRC. He was also an incredibly nice guy, whom Nate had known since NYU. The man had been responsible for helping Nate find out where he belonged.

“Sumatra is still an issue,” Nate said. “They lost so many of their construction people, it’s going to be hard for them to pick up the ball and run with it.”

“You’re going to have to deal with it,” George said. “Find someone who can communicate well and we’ll make sure you can interface. You’ve got four more months, Nate, and then we’ll need you in Africa.”

“No, fine. That’s fine. I know we’ve exceeded our mandate. It’s hard to let go.”

“I know. The refugee situation has to be dealt with, and all we keep doing is shuffling people from tent city to tent city. These people need something they can call their own. They need to work for themselves and see their labor turn into something real.”

“Of course. I’ll be wherever you need me.” Nate put down his coffee and looked back at the kitchen table, where Shannon was on her laptop doing something that kept her clicking her mouse. She looked so pretty in the morning light, in that pink bathrobe he was going to miss.

“Let me know when you’re heading back, yes?”

“I will. Take care, and have Alex send me all the data on where I’ll be headed. I need to start planning.” Nate disconnected, then went to sit next to Shannon. “What are you so busy working on?”

She turned the laptop so he could see the screen. It was a picture of him surrounded by villagers. He was standing in the middle of a town square, an open air market to his right, a row of sturdy buildings around the perimeter of a small park, with infant trees planted in the general shape of a
Rafflesia arnoldii
flower, the largest flower in the world. That day they had opened the market with great ceremony. It had been scorchingly hot, as wet as the ocean itself, and a day he’d never forget.

“You look so happy,” she said. “And so tan.”

“Yeah, we didn’t have a lot of sunscreen at our disposal. And I was happy. That was a big day.”

“But you’re not staying there?”

He shrugged. “I go wherever they need me. Which right now is Africa.”

“How do you do that? It must be so hard to pick up your life and move it at someone else’s whim.”

“I don’t have a home like you do,” he said. “I never did, but I’ve pared way down. I can carry everything I need in a couple of duffel bags. And everywhere I go, I’m welcome and I’m needed.”

“I can see how much you love it.”

He almost said, “Just like you love your home,” but the thought hurt, the thought of how she didn’t know what she was about to be hit with.

Instead he leaned over and kissed her. Long, slow strokes of his tongue, tasting her beneath her coffee, wanting to walk her back upstairs to her bed.

She pulled away first, checking behind him as if they were criminals. It made him want her even more. When her gaze came back to his, she softened, her concern gone knowing they were alone. “I want to hear more about what you do,” she said. “I can’t now because I have to get ready for work, but I would like to listen. My only frame of reference is 9/11, and how the word
fear
stopped being adequate. How our illusion of safety had been stolen. But there was also the high of coming together. All of New York had been a family, even if it was temporary. You go to those places all the time, and it must be so, so hard, and yet unbelievably satisfying to be part of the solution.”

Nate’s chest tightened. “It is,” he said. “There are horrors and miracles around every corner. Each one breaks my heart. In between is where it gets tricky. I’ve talked to other relief workers and we all have that sense of disconnect from the ordinary world. We’re like soldiers in that respect. It’s a limited reality, and it’s truly indescribable.”

Shannon closed her eyes for a long moment. Took a deep breath. When she opened them again, she smiled. “I’ve got to go. Busy day ahead. If you’re free around three o’clock I’ve got to go to the park to take some photos. Maybe you’d like to come with?”

“Yeah, sure. Sounds great. I should hear about the offer on the co-op today.”

“Oh, exciting. I’m betting it’s a yes all the way around.” She shut down the laptop and put it under her arm, carrying her coffee in her free hand. He didn’t want her to leave, not yet. But she disappeared in a whirl, leaving him to the realization that for all his experience in the face of earthshaking events, he still had absolutely no idea how to help Shannon while still telling her the truth.

13

S
HANNON
HAD
TRIED
ON
SO
many clothes the night before her room now resembled a messy change room at Filene’s Basement. It was tempting to call Bree to come help, but in the end she went with her original plan: green blouse that fit her well, slim black skirt, black heels. Tomorrow evening’s interview was scarily close, the reality made more terrifying when she’d gotten an email from WNYC about where to go at what time.

The idea that it was live television scared the crap out of her, so she tried not to think about it. But different nightmare scenarios kept popping up: burping in the middle of a sentence, spilling coffee, throwing up, nervously giggling like an idiot. The spectrum of humiliations was huge and varied, but she’d been on stage plenty of times and the butterflies always disappeared the moment she was in the spotlight. Television should be no different.

She got dressed, wishing she had time to put her things in order, but she really did have a packed agenda. She would be sending a massive group email to everyone in her database, asking them to watch the show. She wasn’t discriminating about the names, either. Whether they be work related, folks from the church, the St. Marks lunch-exchange crew, family, friends of friends. It was such a large list that she had to break it down into units, or she’d be considered a spammer. Which she supposed she was. But it was for a good cause, so she could live with that.

She also had a meeting with a potential new client this afternoon. Nothing huge, not a lifesaver, but the income would help, and the work was simple. Brochures. Lots and lots of brochures.

Oh, she had to check out
Naked New York
as soon as she got to the office. That would be exciting. She’d send a thank-you card to Charlie and Bree, handwritten, on a card.

The list went on in her head as she did a quick makeup-and-hair check, then she was racing down the stairs. As she turned the corner on the first floor, she bumped into the console table on her way to the coatrack. A file folder fell, spreading a stack of brochures all across the wood floor.

Cursing under her breath, Shannon crouched down and picked up several. They weren’t brochures the plant had printed, but rather all about various locales in Florida—Tampa, Orlando, Miami. The file folder wasn’t marked, but there was a phone number in the corner written in her mother’s hand.

Shannon hadn’t realized her folks were thinking about taking a vacation. She should tell them about Bali. It would be good for them to get away. They never went far. They hardly ever took time off at all. An occasional trip to Atlantic City. A weekend at the beach. Good for them for thinking about Florida.

She finished putting everything back, wondering about the brochure for a senior community. She went to open it, noticed the time and shoved everything inside the folder. Then she was off like a shot.

* * *

T
HE
SECOND
AFTER
N
ATE
disconnected with Aiko, he pressed Shannon’s speed dial.

“Nate.”

“Are you at the plant?”

“Yep. Not for long, though. What’s up?”

“I’ll come get you, and we can go to the park together.”

“Okay,” she said, and he could hear the smile in the single word. “Give me ten minutes.”

“’Bye.”

He put his cell in his pocket and raised his arm out to catch a cab. He hit pay dirt a few minutes later and gave the driver the address. It was a short ride from Murray Hill, where he’d been with his accountant since their lunch meeting at noon. The negotiations on the firm were moving at a snail’s pace, which wasn’t shocking considering the kind of money they were dealing with.

He hated all this crap, but the whole reason he’d come to New York was to get his financial life squared away. He needed enough in his coffers to live without the burden of a traditional job or family. He loved his work, but if he got burned out, which happened with great frequency on the front lines, he wanted to be able to stand on his own. To have insurance, to be able to live where he wanted. He also needed to make sure he was building a future. Maybe someday he’d find someone who fit, who he’d want to settle down with.

Of course he thought of Shannon, but by the time he’d be ready to give up his life, she’d be taken. He was pretty damn stunned she wasn’t taken already.

Children weren’t in the plans, although, if he thought he could have a couple of girls with that fantastic red hair… He shook his head. He hadn’t wanted children ever, but he did care about a safe retirement. So if it took the lawyers and the moneymen time to work out the deal, so be it.

He was very grateful that his parents had always been smart with money. His mother was set, as was his sister, Leah. The purchase of a co-op apartment had been his accountant’s idea, and so far, she’d been an excellent combination of conservative and sufficiently forward-thinking to take reasonable risks.

Shannon would be in good shape, too. In the end. Financially. How she’d be emotionally was a huge unknown. The only thing he knew for sure was that she wouldn’t be settled into her new way of life by the middle of May when he had to leave.

The cab turned onto 10th Avenue. He paid the driver, then went inside the building. Shannon was in her office, searching through a stack of papers. She looked up at him and how glad she was to see him was a jolt of adrenaline.

He shut the door. He hadn’t seen her since the kitchen. She looked beautiful, as always, but today she’d put her hair up in a smooth ponytail. There should have been another name for the hairstyle because on her it was sleek, elegant and sophisticated. There weren’t many women who could carry off that look, but Shannon did.

“Did you hear?”

He blinked at her, trying to figure out— “Oh, yeah. They accepted the offer. Two weeks from Friday on the escrow. The sellers are eager, therefore accommodating.”

She dropped the stack in her hands onto her desk and came to him, her long orange-red ponytail swinging behind her as she walked. Her arms went around him in a tight hug, and it was all he could do not to kiss the daylights out of her. But he didn’t know where her dad or Brady were, so…

“I’m thrilled. It won’t give you much time to furnish the rest of the— They did agree to include the furniture?”

“Actually, no. It didn’t belong to them. So I have to shop from the ground up.” The delight on her face made him laugh. “And yes, I’d be very pleased if you could help me with that.”

“I’ve always wanted to do an entire house. This is the best, this is…I can’t even start to think about it until next week.”

“It’ll wait. But we can go back to take measurements, if that helps.”

“Yes, yes, of course, it does. What about finding people to sublet? I never asked, did you have someone in mind?”

“Nope, the management company will take care of that.”

She kissed him, but only on the chin. Then she stepped back. “We should go. I need to catch the light for the pictures I’m taking. I’m doing a before-and-after of the space for an event bible. So that if I’m not able to coordinate things for any reason, someone can just pick up the book and carry on.”

“You are a very smart cookie, have I mentioned that lately?”

“Not nearly often enough, if you ask me.”

He nodded. “Noted. You have to do anything, tell anyone before we go?”

“Nope. We’re clear.”

“You mind if we cab it to 16th and walk the rest of the way?”

“No. Why?”

“I’ve been in an office or a cab all day. If you’re tired, though, it’s no big deal.”

“I’d love to. My day’s been chock-f of stress. A walk will do me good. It’s been ages since I’ve been to the gym.”

“You don’t need a gym,” he murmured. “I’ll give you a workout.”

Shaking her head in mock disapproval, she led him out to the street, and they walked to 9th Avenue, where they caught a taxi. He held her hand on the ride to West 16th, but they were both quiet—the good kind. They kept sneaking glances at each other, which was silly, but okay, too. He was thirty-two and this thing with Shannon felt like a high-school romance. All the sneaking around. Her parents on the top floor. He didn’t mind, although if he had been planning to stay in New York, they would have ended the game by now.

He didn’t think her parents would object to him in the long run, but they’d need adjustment time. So would Danny, when it came down to that.

“What’s that look?”

He had her hand in his, and they set an easy pace, which made quite a few people tsk at them as if they were tourists. “Trying to imagine what Danny would say if he knew we were together. In the biblical sense.”

She gave him a startled look, and he realized that might not have been the right word to use. “He’d have a heart attack, then he’d want you to get your head examined.”

“Sounds about right. Although big brothers are supposed to be kind of stupid about their little sisters from what I’ve heard.”

“Mine fit the bill. I’ll keel over myself the day they stop calling me Princess.”

“It took me a while to realize how very grown-up you are.”

“You’d been gone for years. The last memory you had of me was at thirteen. They were here. They were at my graduation. I was a Phi Beta Kappa. That should count for something.”

“Why didn’t I know that?” he asked.

She shrugged. “I thought Mom let everyone on earth know, but if you’d only been talking to Danny it wasn’t the World Series or the Stanley Cup finals, so it wasn’t important.”

Slipping his arm around the back of her shoulders, he pulled her close. “He can be an idiot, that’s for sure. But congratulations. That’s an incredible achievement.”

“Thank you.”

They walked past an empty lot overgrown with weeds, an old dilapidated fence with a fading Keep Out sign doing nothing to prevent a group of tattooed and pierced kids from squatting on junk furniture and makeshift seats. A sight endemic to all big cities, as much a part of New York as the skyline, but it still bothered Nate. Danny accused him regularly of being a bleeding-heart hippie, and Nate had a hard time disagreeing.

“You should bring your IRC crew out here,” Shannon said. “Let them take a whack at Manhattan, see what they could do to rebuild and renew.”

“The IRC does work out here, but the mandate is different. We help refugees get on their feet, find work and safety.”

“That’s good,” she said. “Important.”

He stared as they kept on walking, then turned back to Shannon. “You should seriously consider running for city council.”

“In my copious free time?”

“You could do so much good. You’re brilliant at organizing, at galvanizing. The Easter thing is a perfect example. I know without a doubt that it’s going to bring in tons of money for the homeless, that everyone involved is going to come away from the event happy and that you won’t get nearly enough credit for all you’ve done. See? You’re practically a full-fledged council member already.”

She squeezed him closer, her hand around his waist. “I’ve got enough on my plate,” she said. “Let me get a few more deep-pocket clients for the plant, then I can relax a little.”

He nodded, even as he called himself every kind of coward. But he wasn’t going to bring up the family business until after her TV interview. He wouldn’t do that to anyone, let alone someone he cared so much about.

They kept walking, slowly, as close as they could be without tripping. “I missed you last night,” Shannon said.

“We agreed.”

Shannon sighed. “In retrospect, it would have been better if you’d come.”

“Tonight, then?”

She nodded, then rested her cheek on his shoulder. “I can’t guarantee sexy times. Would that bother you?”

“I’d take sleeping next to you over anything else, hands down. Although I won’t be upset if sexy times occur.”

They were at the last intersection before the park, and she tugged him around so they faced each other. “This won’t take long. The only shots I need are of one area, where the tables and booths will be set up. Then, maybe we could grab a quick dinner. When I get home, I want to go over my bullet list for the interview, get my clothes ready. Nothing very exciting. I plan to be in bed by ten.”

He kissed her, a quickie, as there were people in every direction, some very close. “I’ll meet you there. Now, if you point me in the right direction, I’ll take pictures, too. Anything you need.”

She kissed him back, and despite the pedestrians and the traffic, she put her cool palm on the back of his neck to hold him steady as she slipped her tongue between his lips.

* * *

S
HE
’
D
JUST
HUNG
UP
THE
LAST
of her clothes, the outfit for tomorrow night covered in a dry-cleaner bag. She’d wear the same shoes as she did for work, but her accessories were in a velvet bag in her purse.

It was so much like the old days when she’d lived for being on center stage. The real princess stage of her life had been the pageants, which were only slightly embarrassing. By the time she’d reached her teens she had given up her quest for tiaras and gone after the applause of strangers. She’d been in many school plays, right through her first year of college. She’d have continued for the pure joy of it, but by then she’d accepted that she would join the family business, and she’d focused on her studies.