Walking in the Shadows (14 page)

“Football is boring,
” Tad observed
.

“Sure is,
” I seconded
with a smirk
.
“I got a new book on my e-reader.”

“E-reader?” Tad asked
.
“You finally got yourself one?”

“Want to see?”

“You two are me
ant for each other,
” George commented
,
stretching out on the couch as I slid open a drawer on the coffee table and pulled it out.

“Sweet,
” Tad said
,
and I leaned back into his arms
.
“
W
hat’s the book?”

“The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
.
”

“You
haven’t read that yet?”Tad asked
.

“Only the Wishbone version.”

“You really are adorable,
”
Tad laughed.

“I know.”

It seemed that as I got older each holiday came quicker than the last. This year was no different, and it hollowed me out to know it was one less that I would have with my parents, and one more that I would spend alone—that I had decided I
should
spend alone.
I was organizing a rack of jeans by size when
Kirsten
came in the door.

“Hey
girl! So how was your C
hristmas?”
Kirsten
asked, and
I didn’t
know what to say.
She continued when I was silent
.
“Did Tad surprise you again?”

“He called a cou
ple of times,
” I replied flatly
as I walked
to
a different part of the store with a pile of clothes to hang.

“Did you pick up?” s
he probed
,
and when I didn’t answer again she sighed heavily,
and
demanded,
“Why not?”

“I didn’t want to tempt hi
m to do something stupid
.
”I snapped
,
shoving the clothes on the rack.

“Are you trying to torture yourself?”

“That’s not
it.
I just didn’t
want to risk him getting caught,
”
I replied
as several shirts fell off their hangers from the force of my shove.

“Really? Is that it? Or are you try
ing to hide your pain from him—e
ven from
yourself?” s
he suggested
,
taking th
e clothes
that I still had
away from me and
throwing them
on to the nearest chair
before grabbing
my shoulders.

“
Kirsten
, please, not now,”
I begged in response as I swallowed down my emotions.

“I’m sorry
Vera
. I really am
,
but
it’s
okay to feel and it’s also okay to be happy. That’s the real reason you left those calls unanswered.”

“I can’t defend myself
.
”
I shook my head.

“You need a break
;
why don’t you take the day off?”
Kirsten
ordered more than
suggested
as she
let go of
my sagging shoulders
.
“I know you were here on Christmas straightening things up and working for free.”

“Sorry, I needed something to do.”

“And you hav
en’t taken a day off in a month,
”
s
he continued to chastise.

“Yeah.”

“You’
ll need a dress for the winter formal, won’t you
?”
There was a clever gleam in her eyes.

“Come on,
really
?”

“Wait here.” She
wagged her finger at me
before leaving the
sales floor
. When she came back
,
she had a large present wrapped with happy, dancing penguins.

“Come on, really?” I repeated as I shook my head. The penguins really did make me smile
,
though.

“You seriously thought that we wouldn’t get you something?
Really
?” she teased, shaking the present in my face.

“You are the best
—
and worst
—
friend a person could ever have,” I said, but my whole body was shaking in anticipation. Those penguins. They were driving me insane with excitement. “Okay, give it to me!”

Kirsten’s smile widened. “I knew
they’d
do you in.”

“Shut up, and give it to me!”

“Alright, alright.
..
”

I got an adrenaline rush as the smooth wrapping paper touched my hands, and I rushed to rip it into shreds. When I got down to the bare box I paused and took a deep breath before lifting the lid.

“Oh…my.” I could barely breath
e
as I laid my hands on the light blue silk dress before me. I ran my fingers over the rough lace
of the straps
and took another deep breath. “This is too much.”

“Now you have to go,” Kirsten said as she tilted her head at me.

“I suppose I do…and now I have to go shopping for you.” Kirsten shook her head no, and I shook my head yes.

“
Fine
,
I think it’s a good idea that you
enjoy your Christmas vacation
anyways
.
W
hen yo
u’re a grownup—well
,
when you’re
out of
high school
,
you won’t have that,
”
s
he said
,
shoving my purse at me and ushering me out the door.

Kirsten
and I had
originally
agreed not to exchange gifts
,
and I should have known that she would never stick to it.
 
I figured that
she believed it was another one of
my
self
-
inflicted
tortures
, and that was why she hadn’t stayed by our pact
. Her mothering nature
was an indication that
she was mostly right
;
I didn’t want to have to see all the happy faces of people shopping for the ones th
ey loved
. It only reminded me that besides
Kirsten
,
t
he ones I loved w
ere
out of reach in some way or another. The mall was a hated place for me, where irritating girls stood in giggling pos
s
es judging anyone and everyone they could for n
o apparent reason. I had been one of those girls, so I knew
outdoor
malls were safer,
though
they were
cold and mini-skirts and Ug
gs
w
ere hard to pull of
f
there.

“Good Morning! Is there anything in particular I can help you with?”
t
he gi
rl standing at the door of the s
pa store offered
.

“Christmas shopping,” I replied with a smile. I watched as her forehead wrinkled and
she
looked away with a small shake of her head.

“
Sad…
” s
he commented
under her breath as if I was crazy and didn’t know that.

When
I turned a flash of b
rilliant maroon hair caught my eye.
I could only imagine having hair like that
, and wondered what would posses someone to dye their hair that color
.
The woman looked like
Disney’s
L
ittle
M
ermaid with that red hair hanging to her waist. It was overwhelming her because she was such a petite woman, and I was curious what her face looked like, but knew I shouldn’t stare.  I shrugged before turning and beginning
to s
ample
the scents in the store. I
felt the creepy, uncomfortable sensation that
someone was watching me, but every time I g
lanced over my shoulder the red
h
ead was turned in another direction or paying attention to something else
.  I made my purchase and rushed out of the store trying to shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen.

Breathing easier now,
I slowed
once
I was on the other side of
the plaza o
f
s
tores
and
stopped in front of a window showcasing stylish leath
er messenger bags. Tad had a rather
beaten up ba
ckpack.

As I walked into the store t
he man behind the
counter looked over the rim of his glasses with a
hopeful
glance.

“Looking for anyth
ing in particular
,
Miss?” h
e asked
.

“I was
just browsing for something for a friend of mine,
” I replied
,
glancing around the high end
store.

“Well, take your time. If you have any questions at all, please feel free to ask.”

I lifted one of the messenger bags of the hook and ran my hands over the faded brown leather. It
was certainly miles above anything that Tad would ever buy himself. I put it back on the hook and ran my hands over the black one. It was much more professional than the faded brown, but it reminded me more of Bill than of Tad. I was deep in thought
over the selection
when I heard the salesman greet another
customer
coming into the store. I didn’t pay any attention as I moved over to a rack of
less expensive
stylish messenger bags
in cloth
.

“Hey, Vera!” Lily’s voice burst into my mind
,
and I grabbed at the bag in surprise.

“Oh…hi…Lily,” I replied, as I tried to slow my pulse to normal.

“Did I scare you?” she asked too cheerfully.

“A bit.”

“Well, sorry—so who are you shopping for? I saw you looking at the leather ones.” She nodded over her head with a smirk that made my insides twist. “They are really nice
…do you have a secret lover that none of us know about?
”

I froze at the way she said
secret.

“Lover?” I attempted to scoff, but it came out as a choke.

“
W
ho do you know that you would spend
that
much money on?”

“
M
y Godfather is a lawyer. I thought he might like to be a little less…ummm…lawerish with the, uh, briefcase
!
” I stumbled to explain myself, and then I saw the girl with the mermaid hair on the other side of the store, facing the wall.

“Oh, that’s my friend—great hair, huh?” Lily commented as sh
e noticed my interest
.

It took a lot out of me to not raise my eyebrows in cynicism.

“It’s original…so, who is she?” I asked, my curiosity getting the best of me
.
I was glad to change the subject to something other than an expensive messenger
 
bag that was none of her damn business.
“Does she go to our school?”
I pried, watching as she flipped a lock of flame-like hair.

“
Faye?
O
h, no
,
she’s a bit older than us,” Lily bragged with a broad smile. “So, how’s your vacation going?”

“Good?”

“And anything good for Christmas?”

My mind drifted to the dress, but I shook my head. I was starting to realize that this was
Lily
I was talking to; t
he Lily that hated me every other second of the day.