Walking in Darkness (46 page)

Sophie had felt like telling her that she had no intention of marrying Steve! It was true then; she was fighting how she felt about him, reluctant to love him, afraid of getting hurt. Her emotional skin had been so thin after the events at Arbory – for a long time she had only wanted peace and quiet, but slowly her grief had healed and Steve was there, patiently, inexorably, waiting for her. He was not a man, it seemed, who had ever heard the word no.

Kneeling beside the grave, Sophie put the carrycot down; her baby was blowing bubbles now, gazing up with those dark blue eyes at the sky wheeling overhead.

Sophie looked at the clear-cut names carved on the headstone. It seemed odd to see them here, in England. Pavel Narodni and his daughter, Anya. So far from the country where they had been born.

‘I’m sorry I haven’t been for a long time, Anya,’ she said softly. ‘But look who I’ve brought with me . . . she’s a month old, and I’ve called her Anya Katherine – and she has your dark hair, Anya, but then Steve is dark, of course.’ Lifting the baby out of her carrycot, Sophie held her up, the little feet in knitted white bootees kicking violently. ‘I think she has the family face. She’s a Narodni, all right, just look at her chin – obstinate and determined to get her own way. Steve says we’re going to have trouble with her, and I think he’s right, don’t you?’

The baby gurgled, reaching for a fistful of the long grass which swayed so temptingly beside the grave. Sophie laughed.

‘See what I mean? Grab, grab, grab! Steve thinks the sun shines out of her. He’s already a doting father, he wants to give her the moon on a plate.’

She laid the baby back in her nest of blankets. ‘We’re very happy. I did have a problem when I was carrying Anya, I had to stop work for a few months – high blood-pressure problems, I had to rest a lot. It was so boring, and Steve probably found me even more boring, I kept crying for no reason, I couldn’t help it. Steve thought it was the shock still working its way out, but my doctor told me pregnant women are often very emotional. I don’t want to give up my career, mind you. I’d like to go back to work, but not yet, not until she’s old enough to go to school. It costs a fortune to have someone else minding your baby while you work, and you miss out on all the fun stuff of the first couple of years, so I’m staying home with her for the moment. Steve’s show is being networked coast to coast twice a week now, so we bought a lovely house in the countryside outside Washington and he commutes daily. At weekends we often visit his parents, but since Anya was born his mother is driving me mad. She thinks she knows it all, nag, nag, nag. Oh, she means well, and she does love Anya, but I need to keep my temper, and that isn’t easy when you’ve been up all night with a grizzly baby.’

She looked down into the cot and smiled at the way her baby was watching the branches moving on the yews.

‘She’s on her best behaviour today, for you and Papa. You should see her some night on one of her crying jags! Last time we stayed with the Colbournes, Steve’s mother said to me: leave her with me tonight, so I did, just to show her what it was like! I heard Anya yelling blue murder once or twice but I pretended to be deaf. I bet she doesn’t suggest that again! His father’s a darling, though. I wouldn’t want to hurt him, and Steve can handle his mother. I guess it will work out, and it’s good to be part of a family. I’m planning to have another baby once Anya is walking.’

She picked up a bouquet of red and white roses she had brought, unwrapped them carefully and laid them loosely on the grave.

‘Smell these! Isn’t that scent gorgeous? I bought them in the village. We’re staying at the Green Man for a few days. Steve will come tomorrow, but he let me come alone with Anya today. He knows I’d feel self-conscious talking to you with him listening. I expect he thinks I’m crazy, talking to the dead. Oh, I miss you, Anya. And Papa. I wish I’d had a chance to get to know you both better. I hope Mamma has found you at last. I put roses on her grave too, last time I was there. It was so strange, her dying so soon after you both. As if it was meant. I visited Franz and my half-brothers while I was there, but really we don’t have that much in common. I think
we
had, Anya. We would have had, if there had been time.’ She sighed, looking at her watch. ‘I’ll have to go. It’s nearly feeding time, and Anya won’t wait, she’ll go red and start yelling any minute. I’ll be back with Steve tomorrow. I wish we lived in England and could visit you more often, but while we are here we’ll come every day, I promise.’

She picked up the carrycot and looked once more at the quiet grave. Sunlight glinted on the carved stone, a speckled mistlethrush sang among the rustling grass, there was a scent of roses and honeysuckle on the air, and even in the brightest sunshine the yew trees cast their dark shade over this fine and private place.

It was hard to believe how violent the deaths of those who slept here had been. All the uncertainties, the grief and anguish, had ebbed away. The world’s heartache and glory meant nothing to them any more. Unseen, their dust slowly merged in the warm earth, yet she would not have been surprised to be told that they walked together under the silent midnight moon or in and out of the shadow of the courtyard yews, pale flitting ghosts like summer moths, their spectral voices whispering secrets all night long.