Waking Up (45 page)

Ah hell, you only live once.

Crawling my way up his legs, trying to keep my nerves in check until my mouth is in direct line with his cock, I look at Tucker and wink.   In one swift move, I grab the base of his shaft and start licking circles around the head while my hand works the base.  “Ah shit, Adriana.”  I feel Tucker arch off the bed, empowering me.  I open my mouth, allowing the head in.  Tucker’s heavy breath assaults my ears.  His hands fist in my hair and I work my mouth down further until I can feel him touch the back of my throat.  I love the feel of him, the taste of him in my mouth.  I take him faster and faster, up and down, one hand cupping his sac, the other stroking his base.  I want to feel him lose control.  Want to know I made him lose control.

“Ah fuck, sweetness.”  I’m in the air in Tucker’s arms and on my back on the bed before I know what’s going on.  Tucker’s looming over me looking very much like the vampire he plays on TV.  I feel like his prey and almost laugh, but don’t want to ruin the mood.  “My turn.”

Those two words hold so much promise, a new wave of wetness pools at my core.

“Bra and panties, on or off?” he asks in a gruff voice.

“Huh?”  I’ve lost the ability to speak. I’m so turned on and I have an incredibly gorgeous man kneeling between my knees that I’m hoping is going to do something while he’s there.

“These,” he flicks my bra and panties.  “On or off?”

“Your choice.”  I can barely whisper the words out I’m so aroused by the Tucker in front of me.  He looks like a feral beast barely contained.  I want him to lose control.

A grunt is all I hear before I hear the sound of my panties ripping from my body.  There is nothing gentle about it.  I’m dripping from arousal. “Holy shit, sweetness, that’s fucking hot.  I didn’t peg you for shaved.”  He licks his lips and something in me snaps.  Embarrassment washes through my entire system.

I groan and cover my face trying to cover the blush I know is all over my cheeks.  I’m sure my nether regions match my face and, being shaved, if he looked he’d see that, too.  I’m suddenly too exposed.

“Don’t ever hide from me, Adriana.”  His raspy voice still affects my body.  “This,” he says, running his finger over the center of my recently shaved mound, eliciting a moan from me, “is very arousing.  Just look at me and you’ll see.”  Peeking out between my fingers I see Tucker stroking himself as he continues to gently run his finger over my sensitive core.  No fair.  I want to touch him.

Needing to redeem myself, I sit up and unclasp my bra, wasting no time getting myself fully naked.

“I’m going to devour every inch of you, sweetness.”  Tucker slams his mouth into mine, this kiss more manic than the rest.  He lays his body on mine.  Skin on skin, rubbing together, I swear I see sparks in the air.

Our tongues ram into each other, in and out of the other’s mouth, hands roam over the other’s body, groping, fondling, learning what the other likes.  His hand finds my breast and he starts flicking my nipple.  I cry out into his mouth.  I’m grinding against him, trying to get him inside me, but he blocks me every time.  I’m desperate for him.  His lips break from mine and he goes straight to my breasts.

“Tucker, please.  I need more.”  He wants begging.  I’ll fucking beg.  I’m a panting, dripping mess and he needs to take care of me.

His tongue assaults my breasts and it’s driving me mad.  Each flick across my nipple sends a pang of need straight to my clit.  My fingers work into his hair.  I’m such a needy mess I don’t know if I should hold him in place or push him into my lap.  I’m writhing underneath him, noises coming from my mouth I don’t recognize.  Relief floods me when he starts the descent downward.  I need him to take care of this ache before I lose my mind.

His arms spread my legs wide and he stares for a moment, a smile big on his face before he dives in.  The first lick up my middle has me flying up off the bed so high and hard, I’m afraid my spine will snap.  His tongue is everywhere, pumping in and out of me, running up and down my center.  He works me into a frenzy before he jams two fingers into me, making me scream out his name.  This man is going to kill me before he gets me off my body is so hot.  His pace is merciless.  His fingers move in and out as his tongue works my clit.  I feel the tightening, the calm before the storm.  

“Tucker, Yes…  Yes!”  His fingers keep pushing in and out, his tongue licking, his mouth sucking.  “Oh… Tucker…  Don’t Stop…  Holy Shit…  Ohhhhhh!”  Stars burst behind my eyes as my climax hits and my body bursts into a million little pleasure centers.  Oh My God!  That man knows how to use his tongue.  I just need a second, one second.

Tucker crawls up my body, a smile on his face.  Sexy son of a bitch.  He knows I’m a pile of blissed out mush right now.  

“This is embarrassing, but I don’t have any condoms so it’s all about you tonight, sweetness.”

“I-I have condoms, Tucker.”  I’m blushing again.  I shouldn’t be.  I’m naked next to him and he just had his head in my lap, but I still am.  “I bought them when I joined the dating site, just in case.  Mick said not to trust the guy.”

“You are truly unexpected.  Get the damn condom because I can’t hold out much longer.  I’m like a fucking teenager around you.”  I can’t help the smile that I give him.  I grab the box of condoms, but instead of giving them to him, I give him another smile.

“My turn.  Lay back and enjoy the ride, Mr. Stavros.”  I can’t believe I just said that or that he listened, but again, he puts his hands behind his head and leans against my headboard.  Grabbing his still hard cock, I lick my lips and take him into my mouth all the way back to my throat.

“Fuck.” I hear him hiss out.  I start taking him fast.  No licking around the head this time.  I only have one goal, to get him off.  I want him to have the mind blowing orgasm I did. Up and down I work my mouth, feeling the silkiness of him under my tongue.  His moans and growls turning me on all over again.   His fingers dig into my arms.  “Sweetness, I need you to stop that now,” he says in a sweet rasp.  “I want to finish inside you—with you.”

I release him from my mouth with a pop and smile at him.  Crawling up his body, I realize I’ve never felt so powerful.  Helping him roll the condom down his massive length, I take a last look at his size, straddle him, and impale myself until he’s fully sheathed in my wetness.  The air hissing through his teeth and his lack of movement tells me it feels just as good for him as it does for me.  Slowly, I start to move my hips, relishing in the fullness, how I can feel Tucker in every corner of me.  A string of curses falls from Tucker’s lips.  He grabs my ass increasing the rhythm.  Our bodies move in unison.  Our skin is slicked together.  I feel a second orgasm building, a tightening forming.  Our rhythm increases again.  My nails dig into his chest.  I scream out his name as I go over the edge.  Tucker pumps into me several more times before screaming out my name.  Exhausted, we collapse onto the bed together.

Feeling sated and enjoying Tucker running his fingers in circles over my bare back, I hate that my brain has turned back on.  I want to enjoy that I just had one of the hottest nights of my life, but I know I’m about to ruin it.   What I’d really like to do is run my tongue over all his tattoos starting with the Survive the Road script across his stomach and work my way up to the tribal covering one side of his chest.  Glancing to the other side, I’m not sure what the tattoo is.  Doesn’t stop me from wanting to run my tongue over it and start getting hot all over again.  Maybe I can wait to ruin this night.  I like where his fingers are.  Smiling, I peek at Tucker through my hair.  I don’t remember when it came down from the pony tail, but I’m glad for the cover now.  It allows me to check him out without him seeing me.

“What’s on your mind, sweetness?”  Maybe I’m not as inconspicuous as I thought.  His voice sounds like sex and my insides clench at the thought of him taking me again.  
Breathe, Adriana.
 

“Did Victoria mean it when she said she’d have paparazzi camped out on my front lawn in the morning?”

Tucker shoots out of the bed, virtually giving me whiplash in his frantic need to toss me to the side.  “Sorry, sweetness.”  Nothing in his tone sounds sorry to me.  He sounds panicked, out of control.  “Where’s my cell?”  I’m so stupid.  What was I thinking sleeping with him?  Victoria was right.  I don’t know what he needs.  He got what he wants and now he can’t wait to get away from me.  How did I not see this coming?

Wrapping my arms around my stomach, praying I don’t throw up, I turn my back to him, hiding the tears that are already starting to fall.

“Found it.  I’m going to call my agent so he can get a handle on this.  What do you want me to have him tell the bloodsuckers?  Adriana?  Adriana?  Oh no, sweetness… no, please… don’t cry.  It’ll be alright.  I promise I’ll make it alright.”

I can’t hear what he’s saying to me over the sobs that have taken over.  Tears pour down my face as I pull my knees to my chest, a position I’ve become familiar with.  I feel a bare chest against my back and arms wrap around me, lips kiss my shoulder.  For just a fraction of a second, I think it’s Alex.  Then I remember he’s dead.  The pain is immediate, slicing through my heart like a million tiny razor blades, all splintering in different directions.  Alex is gone and I slept with another man—in our bed.  

Oh, Alex, I’m so sorry.  I’m not sure if I said those words aloud or if my wracking sobs are what’s making Tucker tell me it’s okay over and over as he draws me closer to his body.  He continues to place soft kisses along my shoulder, whispering words of comfort, but all I feel is my betrayal.  I betrayed Alex.

In our bed.

Chapter Forty Nine

Adriana

The brightness in the room brings me to.  I’m confused as I open my eyes and look around.  It’s morning, I’m in my room and –oh my God—there’s a man in bed with me.  Not just any man, but Tucker.  Last night comes rushing back to me, amazing sex, asking about Victoria, him needing his cell phone, me crying, him comforting me.  He stayed with me.

All night.

I didn’t have a nightmare.

I didn’t dream of Alex at all.  Alex.  Oh, no.  He saw Tucker and me.  Have sex.  He saw us sleep in our bed, together.  What was I thinking?

You were thinking you like him.  
My conscious is screaming at me, but I want it to stop.  This is a mess.  I do like Tucker.  It’s true, but why did I bring him in here?  This is Alex’s space.   

How do I get him out of here?

I can’t wake him up and tell him to leave because my dead husband might see him in his bed.  It would be rude and he’ll think I’m crazy.  Maybe I am crazy.  He’ll know I regret it.  
Do I regret it?
  If I have to be honest with myself, I only regret the location of where it happened and that makes my heart hurt more.  How am I supposed to tell Alex that? 

Tucker shifts in his sleep, drawing my attention to him.  His back is to me.  It’s sculpted and muscled, covered in an intricate tattoo.  Seeing him lying here, I can’t help but compare him to Alex.   He has black hair where Alex was blonde.  Tucker is chiseled, looks like he spends hours getting his body defined where Alex was naturally toned.  Alex would never mar his skin, but I’ve counted at least six tattoos on Tucker.  Alex was always giving his heart to everyone where I feel like Tucker is looking for someone to give him their heart.  He is the fallen angel, the bad boy, where Alex is an angel, was always the good guy.  They are night and day.  How could two completely different men get thrown into my life?

He shifts again and I decide to inspect his tattoo closer before he wakes up.  I thought this tattoo was for the show.  It’s breathtaking.  From shoulder to shoulder, spanning down his back, are two wings.  Separating the wings in between his shoulder blades is a pair of blue eyes.  It’s unsettling because the color so closely resembles Tucker’s eye color.  I inch closer to him, trying not to make too much movement.  I don’t want to wake him, but I must be seeing things.  Feeling the air get knocked from my lungs, I try not to gasp, try not to cry out.  I can’t be seeing what I think I’m seeing.  Rubbing at my eyes, I let them refocus and I stare into the pupils of the eyes again.  Sure enough it’s still there.

In the pupil of one eye is a six and in the other pupil is a twenty-five.

I feel my blood go cold and I need to get away from Tucker.  Hoping he’s a heavy sleeper, I creep out of bed and tiptoe to the bathroom.  I don’t bother to see how much of a mess I am from my crying escapade the night before.  I quickly relieve my bladder and hop in the shower.

My head is spinning and the hot water is not relaxing me.  How are those numbers significant to Tucker?  Why is he here?  I need someone to talk to.  I need Alex.  Keeping my voice whisper low, I talk to my best friend.  “Alex.  I’m sorry I missed our talk last night.  I’m so sorry for a lot of things.  I’ve tried not living so I can be closer to you.  It didn’t work.  Last night, I felt alive for the first time since you left, but now I feel like I let you down and that makes me feel like I let Tucker down.  I know I shouldn’t be talking to you about Tucker, but I don’t know who else to talk to about him.  You were supposed to be here forever, but you’re not.  Everyone keeps telling me you’d want me to move on.  I wish you could give me a sign.  Just one sign, baby.  I really like the time I’m spending with Tucker.  I wish I knew it was the right thing.  I still love you so much.  You were more than my husband, Alex.  You were my best friend.  The person I talked to about everything.  I need my best friend right now.  I miss you so much.”  Laying my head against the wall, I let the water spray against my body.  How I wish Alex could tell me what to do, but all I hear is the sound of the water.

I know I need to go face Tucker, so I finish my shower.  It sounds like cannons turning the water off, the sounds amplified by my anxiety.  Maybe after I dry off and get dressed, I can make him breakfast, use food to make him forget I’m a nutcase.  
Fat chance
. 

Drying off, I look around to realize in my rush to get away from Tucker, I didn’t grab any clothes.  Tucker let me cry myself to sleep in his arms last night which of course was after we had sex. Mind blowing, earth shattering, leave you naked in the bathroom, how the hell are you going to face him if he’s awake, sex.  Fucking fantastic.