Authors: Diane Mannino
And, just like the last time, Logan chooses to ignore the knocking. His lips move along my jaw as the knocking gets louder.
“Maybe it’s your mom.” I whisper and I feel his smile against my neck.
He stops to look at me. “Besides you, my parents are the only ones who know I live here. I talked to them this morning and they’re in New York…so let’s say we ignore it and head to bed.” There’s another knock.
“I’d love to ignore it, but…” There’s another knock.
He kisses me briefly, then leans on his side and pushes up from the couch. “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back.” He whispers.
I smile at him as I sit up and watch him walk towards the door. Logan looks through the peephole and shakes his head. “Shit.” His voice is cold.
He looks towards me and runs his hands through his hair. He looks pissed and I know immediately who is at the door as he turns the knob to open it.
“Sorry to bother you, Logan, but it’s important.” I hear her say, softly.
“Seraphina, what the fuck are you doing here?” Logan snaps.
“Nice to see you too.” She glances over his shoulder and catches my eye. “Oh, I didn’t realize you had company.”
“Fuck. Off. I’ve had enough of your bullshit. Don’t act like you’re stopping by and it’s something you do on a regular basis.” He starts to shut the door on her, but she stops it with the toe of her black patent leather boot.
“Look, I’m sorry. I just need to tell you something. Logan, please. It’s important and then I promise I’ll leave and I won’t bother you again.”
I roll my eyes to myself. Please.
“I told you to stop calling me and I explained why. What makes you think coming to my place in the middle of the night is okay?” He snaps again.
“Sorry. I didn’t know what else to do. I know you told me to stop calling you, but I thought I’d see you out tonight. I looked for you at all the bars and…” She continues, sounding desperate.
“Get to the fucking point, Seraphina.”
“May I come in?” She smiles, sweetly and I stare at her. I won’t let her get to me.
“No.” Logan says firmly and I can tell by the look on Seraphina’s face that she’s shocked. Her face reddens and her eyes are wide. Good.
“Whatever it is…you can tell me right here.” He’s annoyed.
She huffs. “Sebastian has left rehab. He just up and left. No one knows where he is and I thought you’d want to know since you were once his best friend.”
He sighs. “I’m sorry for him, but there’s nothing I can do. I’ve tried to help him before…he needs to want help and him bailing on rehab means he doesn’t want any.” He says in a matter of fact tone.
“That’s it? That’s all you have to say.” She looks shocked again.
“Look, what do you want from me?” He says, frustrated, angry. He takes a deep breath and releases it slowly. “I don’t wish him any ill will, my friendship with Sebastian is over. He’s burned me too many times than I can count…it’s in the past and I won’t let him…or you…for that matter, fuck my future.”
“Oh my God, Logan. Since when did you turn into such a pussy?” She glances, overtly, over his shoulder at me. “Come to think of it, I know exactly when.”
“Emilia has more class in her little finger than you do in your entire body so leave her the fuck out of this. We’re done. Do you hear me? I don’t want to hear from you again so don’t fucking call me or show up at my doorstep.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that…really. I’m just upset.” She sniffs.
I can’t see from where I’m sitting but I think she’s actually crying. Oh, Lord.
She continues. “I’m just upset and worried about Sebastian. We all used to be such good friends. This all sucks and I wish we could go back to how things were. That’s all.” She says, softly.
“I feel bad about Sebastian too, but things aren’t going back to the way they were so you need to get over it. Move on.” His tone is calmer now.
“Well, I hope we can still be friends. We’ve known each other for too long to just throw it all away. Right?” She says so soft and sweet it doesn’t even resemble her voice.
I say a quick prayer in my head Logan doesn’t buy into her phony crap.
“I don’t think so, Seraphina. I told you before you crossed the line and I meant it. There’s nothing you can say or do that will make me feel differently. Now, it’s late so good night.”
I exhale. Thank God.
“Okay. Good night. Maybe over time…you’ll see things differently.” Her voice trails off as he shuts the door.
He sighs and turns, walking towards me. When he gets to the couch he takes my hand in his and pulls me up into his arms.
“I told you we should have ignored the knocking.” He murmurs.
I blink up at him. “I won’t argue with that.”
“You’re not mad?” He asks.
“Mad? No. Not at you. I’m a bit irritated. Your friends…or I guess…I should say your former friends continue to be quite a challenge. Do you really think she’ll ever leave you alone?”
“Can we talk about it in bed?” He asks.
“Um. No. I know you and your false pretenses. Besides, I certainly do not want to discuss
her
while we’re in bed together.” I huff.
He resigns himself to sitting on the couch and I sit down beside him.
“Emilia, what’s left to talk about? We’ve been over this and you just heard everything so you know I’ve told her to leave me…us alone. Right?” He sounds exasperated.
“Why do you sound annoyed with me?” I ask, confused and a bit hurt.
He sighs again. “I’m not annoyed with you…not at all. I’m just annoyed with her… with all of that.” He waves his hand in the air. “I just want to move on. I want us to move on and whenever we take a step forward…something happens and we take another step back.”
“I see what you mean, but we’re moving forward. We’ve been moving forward in a big way. These little bumps are just that…little bumps. Do you really think these little problems will prevent us from having a future together?”
“No. I hope not. The bottom line is I worry about losing you. Seraphina shows up at my door in the middle of the night and my first concern is that you’re going to run for the hills.”
I smile. “And, did I run for the hills?”
“You probably thought about it.” He takes my hands in his and strokes the top of it with his thumb.
I laugh. “Nope. It didn’t even cross my mind. There are a few other things that crossed my mind when I saw her at the front door and I’m glad you didn’t let her in.” I say, quietly.
He smiles, slightly. “I really wish you had done one of those other things.”
“Where do you think Sebastian is? Do you think she’ll try and find him?” I stare at him.
“I don’t know.” He frowns. “He’ll probably get into more trouble…a part of me cares, but there’s nothing I can do.”
“Seraphina isn’t one to give up easily, it seems. She seemed very desperate…and not to mention very disappointed I was here.” I mutter.
“Emilia, I swear to you she’s never been here before. You heard what I said. I have no idea how she knew I lived here. Look, I told you before I even answered the door that only you and my parents know I live here. You don’t believe me?” He says, frustrated.
“I believe you. You know I don’t like her…I don’t trust her. I had a bad feeling about her from the moment I first met her so you have to understand where I’m coming from…she just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”
“I understand completely. You don’t even need to explain because she leaves a bad taste in my mouth too.” He draws me closer and runs his finger along my jaw. “But do you understand, I only want you and only you?”
I nod and he kisses me softly on the lips.
“Are we done talking so we can go to bed now?” His lips brush softly against my jaw and down my neck.
I breathe. “Yes. I’d like you to get that bad taste out of my mouth.”
He stops kissing me and gazes into my eyes. “With pleasure.” He kisses me passionately. Then scooping me up in his arms, he carries me up the stairs and into his bedroom.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
I’M STILL SICK TO MY STOMACH AS I RUN, heading back towards home, after my training session with Coach Walker. I woke up feeling this way and I can’t seem to shake it for the life of me. It always helps when I run, but today that’s not enough. Seraphina’s words:
Maybe over time…you’ll see things differently
flashed in my head all night long and for the first time ever I didn’t sleep well with Logan. Well, the first time since we’ve gotten back together and actually attempted to sleep.
There’s something about the way she said it and the way she looked at him. I don’t know if I’m overanalyzing, which I’ve been known to do in the past, or if there’s something more to it. I make a mental note to ask Chloe to pay extra close attention to what Seraphina says in class this week. Maybe she’ll say something to alleviate my worries? I think about that for a split second and realize how idiotic the thought is…
really,
Seraphina is going to say something to make me feel better? Ugh.
I make my way around a corner and towards the street where Logan grabbed me from the back of the limousine not that long ago. I’m careful despite the fact that I’m not worried about my safety at the moment. My stomach is in knots over Seraphina as much as the thought irritates me that she’s once again getting under my skin. I glance in different directions down the street. No stalkers. No limousines.
I know, of course, it’s not just her that’s bothering me. There’s the matter of Sebastian. It’s odd, how I’m not worried about myself. I don’t know why that is…because the thought of Sebastian possibly lurking out there to cause me some sort of harm would normally have me shaking like a leaf. Instead, I’m distressed about what this means for Logan.
It makes me nervous. It makes me nervous for Logan. And, yet he only seems concerned about my safety. I decide I need to talk to him about being safe and not walking alone. The thought makes me smile to myself. I’m certain he’ll only laugh off my concerns, but then maybe we can strike a deal. I’ll be careful if he’s careful.
Again, it’s something that was said. It was the time in the bar when Sebastian accosted me.
Friends for over three years and this is the goddamn thanks I get.
It was weeks ago when he said this to me, but for some reason it weighed on me heavily in the night. Maybe because Seraphina had mentioned how they used to all be such good friends and how she missed it? Probably.
Per Logan’s request, my iPod’s music is on a much lower volume than I usually have it on and it’s not helping with my present state of mind. I need to turn it up to help turn off all these invading thoughts. I’m about ten minutes from my house when I glance around, making sure Logan doesn’t catch me, and I turn up the volume. It’s “Uprising” by Muse and the song craves maximum loudness as I push myself on my final sprint towards home.
Paranoia is in bloom…they will not force us. They will stop degrading us. They will not control us. We will be victorious. So come on…
The first thought that crosses my mind is that I seriously fucked up when I turned up my music. If I wasn’t completely caught off guard, I could have easily have kicked his ass. But I’m not prepared for the body that slams into my side and I fall to the ground. My headphones fall out of my ears and land beside me.
Sebastian’s eyes are just inches from mine. They are dark and hollow. He’s nothing but skin and bones, looking like he’s lost at least fifteen pounds. His hair is greasy and disheveled. The vacant expression on his face reminds me…my mind is foggy…and then I remember…Logan on his birthday. I think I might throw up.
Immediately I scramble to get up and get him off of me, but despite his gaunt state he somehow has the strength to keep me pinned to the ground.
“Get the fuck off me before I start screaming at the top of my lungs!” I snap.
He puts his hand over my mouth. “You scream and I will make your life a living hell. Do you really think I have no qualms about completely burying Logan with everything I know about him?”
“You’re full of shit, Sebastian. Why don’t you get yourself back into rehab so you can get your life back on track? You’re seriously delusional. Now, get off me.” I say as I attempt to knee him in the groin.
He feigns injury. “Ouch…that hurt…not.” His eyes flare. “You’re worried someone might see you and tell your
boyfriend
you were making out with some random guy in the park?” He sneers. “We’re in the middle of broad daylight…two young lovers in the park.” He glances around. “No one gives a shit about what we’re doing.”
“You’re wrong, Sebastian. People are staring.” I try my best to sound convincing. “Besides the police patrol this area all the time, you better get the fuck off of me and out of here before you get busted again.”
I realize my mistake as soon as the words tumble out of my mouth.
“Busted again?” He looks at me confused. “I don’t really give a shit, but what the fuck are you talking about?”
I hope if I keep him talking maybe someone will notice we aren’t just having a romantic day in the park or I will figure out another way to distract him so I can get out from underneath him and run.
“You know the police are looking for you.” I assert, confidently. “They know you’re the one behind all those burglaries. If you were smart you’d get back to rehab before they put you in jail.”
“You’re bluffing. Besides, I don’t give a crap. Right now…” He starts to say and then reaches up, stroking my cheek with his scrawny index finger. “I need you to do something for me.”
I squirm beneath him and attempt to bite his finger.
He grabs my chin. “Well, if you’re not going to play nice, neither will I.” His eyes narrow and he licks my neck, very slowly up to my jaw.
I close my eyes and fight the bile rising up in my throat. “Fuck off.” I attempt to knee him in the groin again.
“C’mon Emilia. Just relax and give into this moment. Isn’t part of you turned on with me lying on top of you like this? I know it’s giving me quite the hard-on.”
I shake my head and glance around to see if anyone is within earshot.
“You know when Logan and I were friends…we used to share our girls. I could tell you all sorts of stories about your precious lover-boy. You might not think so highly of him…knock him off his undeserving fucking pedestal. You might even decide it’s me who you really want. Besides doesn’t a part of you want to get back at Logan for what he did to you? You know…no one seems remotely interested in us out here. We could do it right now and with the way you’re turning me on…it won’t take long.”
“No.” I say, shakily and for the first time since he tackled me I’m scared. “Look, you need to do something for yourself, Sebastian. Go back to rehab. You need help and then maybe we can…” I trail off for fear I will vomit before I can get the words out.
“Your offer is a bit tempting, but I’m having a hard time buying it.” He says as he pushes his weight down on me even more. “Look, I’m not a fucking idiot. I doubt at the moment you’ll choose me over him, but I’ll let you go this time if you do me a little favor. Does that sound like a deal?”
Shit. You doubt at the moment I’ll choose you over him? How about never? What kind of a deal? But do I really have a choice at this moment?
“What do you want?” I ask, trying to sound unconcerned.
“Well, there are a few things I want…” He caresses my cheek again and I turn my face away from him. “But for now, I want you to get me some money.”
I turn to look at him. “Why so you can snort it up your nose or shoot it in your veins? Why don’t you go back to rehab and get sober? Then I’d be happy to give you some money.”
“Well, I’m really fucking flattered you actually give a shit about me, but I don’t give a crap about what you think…it’s my fucking life so are you going to get me the money or do I need to fuck you right now?”
“Honestly, I don’t give a shit about you and what you do to yourself. I care about Logan and I know you were friends and…” He interrupts me before I can finish.
“Cut the crap. You’re exactly right…
were friends
.” He spits.
“How much do you want? A few hundred?” I think of the money he stole from Spyder.
God, he’s pathetic. But I just want him off of me and I want out of here. Where’s a limousine when you could really use one?
I continue. “I’ll get a paycheck at the end of the week.”
He laughs. “I don’t think so…try one hundred thousand dollars.” He sits up against my hips and pins my hands at my side. “That should be enough to get me out of here and tie me over for a bit while I figure out my next move.”
“Are you insane? I don’t have that kind of…” I trail off and I can tell by the way he’s looking at me where he expects me to get his drug slash runaway funds.
I shake my head. “I can’t.” I murmur.
“You can. You will.” His lips twist into a wicked smile.
“Logan isn’t going to give me that kind of money. Look, I’ll give you my paycheck…I’ll give you my next couple paychecks. Plus, I have some in my bank account that I can give you.” I plead.
“Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t want your pennies. I want
his
money.” He says “his” with dreadful scorn.
Holy crap. That’s what this is all about. He’s only interested in causing Logan pain. I think of a quote from Shakespeare’s
Merchant of Venice: If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?
“You should ask him then. Look, he’s really worried about you. He knows about you leaving rehab and the burglaries.” I say in my most convincing voice. “He cares about you, Sebastian.”
He rolls his eyes, but I know he’s interested in what I have to say by the way he’s listening and not interrupting me.
I continue. “I know things haven’t been the same between you two, but you have all that history.” I ramble, hoping I make some sense and touch a nerve. “I think if you just talk to him, he’d want to help you out. Maybe he’d even help you get to where you want to go? He really wants you to get help.”
And, then I realize I’ve said too much.
“I don’t want help. I want money and he’ll give it to you. I’m sure he gave you this…” He grabs my hand with the diamond band and shoves it in the air.
He continues. “Seriously? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. He’ll give you whatever you fucking ask for. Besides, this should be a no-brainer for you. Isn’t it why you hooked up with him in the first place? You’re just a fucking gold-digger. I could see it the moment I laid my eyes on you. I tried to convince him, but you had him so pussy-whipped he couldn’t see straight. But now that you’ll be begging him for his money, maybe he’ll get a clearer picture of what you’re all about.”
My face is on fire. He’s not only after revenge on Logan…he’s still got it in for me too. I know he blames me for ruining their friendship, but how does he think this will alter Logan’s view of me?
“No. I don’t think so. He’ll know the money is for
you
.” I try again to push my way out of his grip.
“Stop, trying to get away from me. I’ll let you go in a minute if you just cooperate a little longer.” He pauses a second. “You can’t tell him it’s for me. Do you really think I’m that fucking stupid?”
“What am I supposed to say? I can’t ask for that much money.” I plead.
“You’re smart. You’ll come up with something. You can’t say it’s for me because he’ll never in a million years give it to you. So, if I were you, I’d start brainstorming and come up with something quick.”
I stare up at him. He’s not only seriously delusional from all the drugs; he’s also clearly psychotic. I know I will figure something out and it shouldn’t be too difficult to come up with some sort of a plan when you’re dealing with someone who has clearly lost all his marbles.
I breathe. “Fine.”
“I knew you’d see the light. And, if you want you can always dump Logan’s ass and come with me. We could have quite an adventure. The two of us on the road with a hundred grand.”
Ugh. I keep my eyes on his, instead of laughing or puking right then and there on top of him, and look at him emotionless. I even muster a slight smile as he climbs up off of me, releasing me from his grip.
“You’ll consider my offer?” He asks, his dark eyes staring down at me.
I swallow. “Yes, of course. It does sound like fun.” I pick up my headphones from the ground and roll my eyes while he’s out of my sight. “So, how will I know how to get this money to you?”
“I’m sort of on the run…” He starts to say.
Yes, bailing on rehab, several burglaries…now we’ll add extortion to the list…I can see why he’s on the run.
He goes on. “So, I’ll be in touch.”
“Okay, but could you not tackle me next time?” I say in my best sorority-cheery sweet voice.
“Sure.” He smiles. “I think you and I would make quite a team. I really hope you’ll seriously consider my invitation. I’ll even give you some of his money.” He reaches with his hand and softly brushes the skin on my shoulder. “Besides, I hate to rain on your parade but Logan will tire of you soon. He’ll be back with someone like Seraphina. It’s just a matter of time.”
I bite my lip to keep my mouth shut. I can’t let him get to me. The fact that he still thinks I only care about Logan’s money is beyond my comprehension. And, adding insult to injury his snide remark about Seraphina makes me want to tell him to go fuck himself.
“I’m leaving now.” I say with a straight face.
“You shouldn’t be mad about what I said…it’s the truth.” He says.
“I’m not. But I should go…Logan is probably out looking for me now. You know?”
“Okay. I’ll be in touch.” He says one more time before I turn and sprint home.
“WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?” Bryn asks, worriedly, as soon as I walk in the house. She gives me the once-over. “Shit. What happened to you?”
I glance down at myself and notice my entire side is scraped with dirt and blood. I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and see my hair is disheveled, my ponytail falling out of its holder.
The door behind me flies open. I hear Logan before I see him.