Virtue of a Governess (35 page)

As though his feet had grown wings, he dashed from the room, down the stairs and out of the barroom. Out in the street he ran through the rain, splashing across puddles to the carriage. “Home. Now!” He shouted to Timms and threw himself into the carriage.

The drive home in the deepening darkness seemed interminable. He couldn’t think or feel – was numb to all sense as his rage built. His nerves were shredded raw by the time Timms halted the horses in front of the house. The wheels hadn’t fully stopped before he jumped from the carriage and bolted inside.

The parlour door opened as he made for the staircase. He jerked around and stared at Nicola. Anguish clouded her eyes. She looked so forlorn and lost and his heart shattered into pieces. She
knew
. She knew his mother had deceived them.

She’d known all along.

For a moment he couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.

“My love,” she said softly, “There’s something I must tell you.”

“Nic…I…”

She glanced at his red and bloody hand gripping the banister and frowned. “Will you come with me?”

Emotion burnt his throat, draining his anger. He couldn’t do it again. He couldn’t go through the pain of seeing his mother’s ridicule, of knowing she never cared for him. “Where-where is she?”

“Your mother is upstairs in her room sleeping. No, don’t go up.” She held out her hand and he forced himself to go to her.

In the parlour, he allowed her to guide him to the sofa and she sat beside him. The warmth of the room felt stifling and he pulled at his stiff collar.

She held his hand. “How did you find out?”

“Lombard.”

Nicola shuddered and he wanted to drag her into his arms, but couldn’t. He felt detached, frozen. Where had his rage gone? He understood anger. He’d lived with it long enough to find it a strange comfort. But this numbness was new to him and he didn’t like it. He felt out of control of the situation.

“What of Lombard?” Nicola murmured, as if afraid to say his name.

“I found him. I went to confront him about what happened to you, but he also gave me further information, details which I never expected.”

“In regards to your mother and me?”

“Yes.”

“What did you do to him?”

He raised his hand and studied his swollen knuckles. “He’ll live. Unfortunately.”

“He is another one who belongs in the past now.”

A deep sigh left him. How had he let his life get so unmanageable?

“Do you love me, Nathaniel?”

He stared at Nicola, uncomprehending. “You know I do. You are my life.”

“Am I enough to make you truly happy?”

“Yes.”

“And you will love the child, too?”

“Yes. Nicola, I—”

She nodded, holding his hands tightly. “Do you remember the time we spent in the country after our wedding?”

“Of course.” He shifted in the seat, needing to get up and move about but she held him fast.

“That was the happiest time of my life, I think.”

He blinked, watching her. Where was this leading? He wanted to deal with his mother and talk to Frances... Oh God, Frances! He had to tell her.

Nicola smiled, a warm loving smile he hadn’t seen for many months. “I would like our baby to be born at the country property.”

His heart restricted at the thought of holding his child. He longed to hold his son or daughter. But now wasn’t the time to discuss this.

“We have a bright future ahead of us. We have love and we will have a wonderful family.” Nicola leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. “I love you completely, without restraint or conditions.”

Nat closed his eyes and felt a hot tear roll down his cheek and then another. How had he deserved this wonderful woman? “Nic…”

She cradled his head against her breast and let him pour out his misery.

Sometime later, he straightened, feeling exhausted but better. He’d accepted what his mother had done. Now he just wanted to get rid of her for once and for all.

“Remember, whatever happens or is said tonight, remember that I love you and soon our baby will be here to love you too.” Nicola rose and he stood also, gathering her into his arms as much as her stomach allowed. She held him tight and he couldn’t get enough of her embrace. It seemed like a very long time since they had held each other properly. Shame washed over him. How had he let his mother come before this magnificent woman who loved him so much? Had he been so desperate for his mother’s love, more than he ever realised?

“Come, it is time.”

He hesitated. “Frances.”

“She knows too. Your mother’s acting skills let her down once she is drunk.”

“I cannot believe I was such a fool.” Again shame filled him.

“No.” She shook her head. “I will not allow her to make you suffer anymore. Your mother deserves nothing from you, not your love, your anger, your pity, nothing. Cut her from your heart and mind, Nathaniel, you cannot heal unless you do.”

“I feel nothing for her now.” It was the truth. At this very moment he felt dead inside where his mother was concerned.

“Good.” Nicola’s gentle smile soothed his spirit. “While waiting for your return, I arranged for Mrs Rawlings to secure tickets for your mother and her maid on the first available outbound ship. We are fortunate that there is one leaving at midnight. It only goes as far as India, but that is your mother’s worry. Timms can take your mother down to the quay and make sure she boards.”

“Thank you. Though it grieves me to know you’ve had the trouble of doing this alone.”

She grinned. “Believe me, it was no trouble. I received an obscene amount of pleasure in doing it.”

Arm in arm they left the room and headed upstairs. Frances met them on the landing. Without knocking they entered Silvana’s bedroom. Her maid, Agatha was nowhere to be seen, and Silvana slept soundly on top of the bed. Fran shook her shoulder to waken her and then stepped back to ring the bell by the bed.

“Who dares to wake me?” Silvana snapped, sitting up. She turned, her eyes widening at the sight of them. “What is it? Has something happened?”

“Yes, Mother, something has.” Nat smiled grimly, just wishing for it to be done with. “We’ve rung for your maid so she can pack your things.”

“Pack? What are you talking about?” She put a hand to her forehead, wincing. “I’ve a dreadful headache.”

“That will be the least of your problems, Mother.” Frances picked up a coat laid across a chair. She threw it onto the bed as though the touch of it defiled her. “Start gathering your things.”

A fleeting look of panic crossed Silvana’s face. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s easy, Mother.” Nat pulled Nicola in closer to him for support and with his other hand he reached out to take Fran’s hand. “We have finally seen through your charade. There will be no more games. No more lies and false declarations of love. I have dealt with Lombard, who conveniently spilled the information of your treacherous little plan. It is over. Finished.”

“Nat…” She glanced at Fran. “Frances, dearest…”

He stepped forward and nearly laughed at the frantic desperation in his mother’s face. “You’re going back to England, Mother, and you will never contact us again. I will deal directly through Gerald concerning our inheritance. My solicitor in London will be instructed to ensure that none of my money flows into the family coffers. Father left the townhouse in Kensington, where you live, to me. On your return to London you will remove your belongings and leave the house. From now on, you’ll have to rely on the money Father left you and what Gerald can do for you. As far as Frances and I are concerned you are now dead to us.”

Silvana jerked to her feet, an ugly grimace marring her features. “I won’t allow it!”

“You have no choice. If you cause problems over my decisions, then I will return to England and publicly denounce you as my mother, and the world will know of the distasteful person that you are.”

She turned to Nicola, her eyes narrowing with loathing. “This is all your fault!”

“Actually, Madam, it is yours.” Nicola smiled grimly. “You are unnatural, despicable, and you bring nothing with you but misery wherever you go. I should feel rather sorry for you, but I don’t.” Her smile grew wider. “In fact, I shall be the happiest woman in the country when you leave this house.”

Nat’s chest swelled with pride at his darling girl’s stance. Unable to tolerate being in his mother’s presence another moment, he stalked from the room and the woman who’d done nothing for him, but give him life.

Outside the door he stopped and held Frances. “We’ll be just as we were before. I promise.”

“Only better,” she whispered, before releasing him and turning to Nicola. “I’m going to bed. Will you be all right?”

Nicola kissed her cheek. “Perfectly fine. I’ll see you in the morning. But if you need us in the night, just knock.”

When Frances left them, Mrs Rawlings came up the stairs. “Mrs West, everything is as you wish it. Timms is waiting downstairs as requested.”

“Thank you, Mrs Rawlings. My husband and I are retiring early. Will you see that Mrs West’s belongings are taken down and she is gone from the house within the hour?”

“With pleasure, Madam,” Mrs Rawlings said, with the mere hint of smirk on her lips.

Inside their bedroom, Nat pulled Nicola into his arms and kissed her with a deep yearning. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“It is not your fault, Nathaniel. You mustn’t let this be a burden you carry. I won’t let you.”

“I cannot help feeling as though I have failed you, and Frances, but especially you.”

She grinned. “Well, I have to say that when I first married you I did think that I might have women problems with you, but I never expected the other troublesome woman to be your mother.”

“It’s not a laughing matter, Nicola.”

“Nonsense. We will laugh about this, because she doesn’t deserve our tears.” She kissed him softly. “We survived this. There was an opportunity for us to flounder and break, for our marriage to be made a mockery by her. But we are the victorious ones, not Silvana.”

“I’m not worthy of you.” He rested his forehead against hers. “I haven’t been much of a husband lately, have I?”

“Shush. Enough of that. I’ll hear no more of it.” She placed her finger against his lips. “From tomorrow, no, from this minute, we begin again.” Taking his hand, she placed it over the bulge of her stomach. She smiled up at him as the baby kicked. “We have so much to look forward too, my love.”

Nicholas!” Nicola searched the crowd strolling though the gardens and buildings of the Governesses Home. A group of children ran past her and into the schoolroom, but her son wasn’t amongst them. “Where is that boy?”

“Leave him be, my dear.” Mr Belfroy chuckled from his chair under the Norfolk Pine. “He’ll come back when he’s ready.”

Smiling, she walked over to stand by his chair. She placed her hand on his shoulder with the familiarity of old friends. “He’s spoilt.”

“Nonsense. He’s a good boy.” Belfroy tapped his cane towards the gathering of Sydney’s dignitaries. “And he doesn’t want to be bothered with that horde.”

Nicola grinned. “You’ll have to go up and deliver your speech soon.”

He sighed and pulled his hat brim a little lower. “I don’t know why. They don’t want to hear the ramblings of an old man. They’d much rather listen to you.”

She groaned, feeling light-headed at the thought of speaking in front of all those people. Instinctively, she looked for Nathaniel and spotted him talking to Sir Hercules Robinson, the Governor of New South Wales and other gentlemen of politics. Her nerves increased. When Florence first suggested a garden party to celebrate the ten year anniversary of the Home’s opening, Nicola hadn’t thought she’d be making a speech, otherwise she’d not agreed to it.

“We’ve come a long way, Nicola.” Belfroy spoke into the comfortable silence between them.

That he called her by her first name for the first time surprised her more than she could say. “Yes we have, Mr Belfroy.” She swept her gaze around the property taking in the orchard and gardens, the orphanage dormitory, the schoolroom and lastly the back of the big house itself. “Your commitment has brought a lot of happiness and hope to many people.”

“All this was your vision, my dear.” He slowly creaked to his feet. “Without your ambition to help others and your tireless energy, none of this would be as it is.”

“But your generosity, your inherit kindness started it.” She supported him to stand upright. “We make a good team, don’t we?”

“That we do, my dear.” He tucked her hand through his arm and patted it. “It was a lucky day when we met.”

“Very true.” Nicola thought back to the windy day when she’d been so hungry and despondent. Mr Belfroy had done more than give her a place to stay, he’d given her the chance to hope that her prospects would take a turn for the better, and they did.

“I’m sorry Hilton couldn’t make it.”

She looked at him, pondering his words. Her family had become his, her children loved him like a grandfather, and he was Godfather to them, but was it enough for him? “How is Mr Warner?”

“He works constantly from what I can gather from his letters. Hilton has amassed a colossal fortune.”

“He is happy?”

Belfroy shrugged as they began walking towards the crowd. “Who am I to judge?”

“He’s never come back to this country.”

“He never will, my dear.” Belfroy gave her a sorrowful look. “When one’s heart gets broken, we cannot keep returning to its source or we’d lose our sanity. No, he has a wife and two small sons and lives for his businesses. That is enough.”