Virtue of a Governess (21 page)

“It is their loss, for it is easier for them to travel to Sydney from Melbourne, than from Melbourne to America. They might be missing their last chance to see her for a long while.”

“America. Such a long way. I will miss her. The house will be quiet without her.”

“I hope you’ll miss me also?” He grinned, opening the carriage door.

“Absolutely. You’ve been a very good friend.”

“Good, that makes me feel better.” After climbing in, Hilton sat near the window and smiled at her. “I’ll be travelling along the coast until Christmas, so I’ll not see you for a little while.”

“Travel safe then. We’ll meet again at Christmas.” She stepped back as the driver flicked the reins and the carriage lurched forward. Taking a deep breath, she watched the carriage rumble away and prayed to a God she didn’t really believe in that she’d done the right thing in refusing Hilton.

I’ll miss you,” Meg whispered, hugging Nicola tight. They stood in the captain’s cabin of the
Lady Hilton
, having returned there after Meg’s wedding just a couple of hours before.

“Not as much as I’ll miss you. You’ll be rather busy, I feel.” She chuckled through her tears.

“Oh yes.” Meg’s grin was full of mischief. “I cannot wait for tonight, and every night!”

“Meg!” Nicola roared with laughter. “You’re impossible.”

“I know!”

Sobering, Nicola sighed, knowing her time was short with this passionate friend of hers. “It was a beautiful wedding. Everything has gone off perfectly.”

“I never expected this, you know.” Meg swung away to open a drawer near the bed. The captain’s quarters now included another room. One of the adjoining cabins had been knocked through so Meg and her new husband could have a place in private to sit and relax.

“Never expected what? To marry a ship’s captain?”

“To marry at all.” Meg grinned. She did a little twirl, causing her light blue dress to flare out at the bottom. “I’m so happy I could burst. Not even my mother and aunt’s failure to attend today can diminish my joy at having James as my husband. He’s a good man.”

“And he loves you.”

“Yes. Aren’t I lucky? I’m not sure I deserve him, but I’ll make him a good wife.”

“I believe you will.”

“Though I wish you had fallen madly in love with Mr Warner, then I wouldn’t be going to America alone.”

“Sometimes I wish I had too.” She glanced around the cabin, seeing Meg’s little touches and then she spotted the framed sketch of the harbour she had drawn as a present to the newlyweds. Nicola realised that she’d already made one long journey and this country was where her future lay. She brightened. “Imagine all the new places you’ll see and the people you’ll meet. I want you to write long letters, telling me everything you experience.”

“I will, and you must let me know how the women get along and all your plans.” Meg stepped closer to Nicola and held out her hand. “This is for you.”

“For me?” Surprised, she took the little box from her and opened it. “Oh, Meg!” Nicola gasped, not believing her eyes. On a bed of velvet lay a gold chain and suspended from it was the half crown given to her by the First Mate the day she landed. “This is my lucky half crown?”

“Yes. I stole it out of your room and James had it made into a necklace for you.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

Meg lifted the necklace out of the box and fastened it around Nicola’s neck. “Every time you look at it or feel it against your skin, you’ll think of me, and our friendship. Remember, I was your very first friend in this country, and I know at times I’ve tried your patience, but you do mean a lot to me and I wanted to show it.”

“Thank you.” Tears spilled and she smiled sadly at Meg, upset at the thought of her leaving. “I am so amazed you’ve done this. Thank you.”

“Although I won’t physically be here, I’ll be here in spirit.” Meg kissed her cheek and Nicola embraced her.

“It’s a wonderful gift.”

“We had some fun, didn’t we?”

Nicola raised her eyebrows. “Oh yes. However, there were times when our opinions differed on what fun exactly was.”

Chuckling, Meg resecured the white flowers in her hair. “Remember that time I put vinegar in Burstall’s tea?”

“Heavens, yes.” Nicola chortled “And the time you hid Miss Golding’s Bible and she searched for it all day. Or the time you convinced Mrs Eldersley that it was Wednesday when it was actually Tuesday, and she went out and complained to the grocer about him not delivering her order.”

Meg collapsed onto the bed in a fit of giggles. “Such fun.”

Her laughter dwindling, Nicola sobered. “I sincerely hope you live a long and happy life, Meg.”

“You must do the same.”

“I’ll try.”

“You need to marry Mr West.” Meg gave her a saucy look as she straightened her skirts. “Find out what it is to have a man, Nicola, and I guarantee that West would know how to please a woman.”

“Meg!” Nicola felt her cheeks grow warmer, but Meg just burst into a peal of laughter.

Nicola shook her head at her. “You’re outrageous.”

“I know, and won’t you miss me!” Laughing, arm in arm, they went back out to the guests on deck.

Warner came to Nicola’s side and Meg left them to talk to her guests. “Soon we are to part, Miss Douglas.”

“Yes, sad as it is.”

“At least I got to spend a beautiful Christmas with you. It’ll be one I’ll never forget.”

“Me too.” She thought back to last week when the Home had rung with the joyous celebration that was Christmas. Despite the governesses being out of work, for one day they put all that despondency aside and enjoyed themselves. Mr Belfroy, Warner and the Captain had joined them for a wonderful meal. Although she hadn’t seen Frances and Nathaniel on the day, she saw them the day after. Frances had bought her a beautiful peacock blue satin scarf and Nicola in return had given her a pair of cream kid gloves.

Her hand went up to the brooch she wore. She fingered the diamond and emerald flower, Nathaniel’s present to her, one which was far too valuable for her to accept at first. Only he refused to take it back, saying he’d be deeply insulted if she spurned his gift. His present to her meant more than she cared to admit.

“James says the wind is favourable.”

She concentrated on Warner. “That is good. And the tide turns in about four hours?” she asked, admiring how dashing he looked today in his best suit of dark brown, the colour of rich chocolate. His overlong sandy hair, this morning neatly slicked down, now lifted with the breeze sweeping off the harbour.

“Indeed. Are you staying a while longer after the guests have gone ashore?”

“I’m afraid not. A new governess is expected to arrive this afternoon and there are other things awaiting my attention.” She couldn’t tell him that Miss Rogers was due to give birth any day now.

“I’m sad not to have these last few hours with you. But I’ll always have the memory that I danced in the New Year of eighteen sixty-eight with you. I’ll treasure that.” He spoke the words out over the sea, but she heard the subtle hurt in them.

She recalled the New Year dinner and dancing party, he’d hosted on this ship only a couple of weeks ago. It’d been a grand night. “I’m sorry, Hilton.”

“Don’t be.” He smiled down at her and tucked her hand in his arm. “Come, let us eat and be merry.”

Much later than Nicola expected, she walked up the driveway to the Home, having paid the hansom cab at the bottom of the hill. She’d wanted a few minutes more to herself before the demands of the home occupied her. Leaving Meg and Hilton had been bittersweet, but it was over now and she wished them well. They had their life and she had hers.

She stopped and studied the house, her home. If only she knew what the future held. Would running this house be enough? Had she made the wrong choices along the way?

“Miss Douglas!” Miss McIntyre raced out of the front door, her skirts held up in one hand.

“What is it, Florence?”

“Miss Rogers,” Florence gasped on reaching her.

“The child?” Nicola rushed towards the house.

“Aye, Miss Douglas. Not born yet, but she’s had pains for hours.”

“Have you sent for the midwife or Dr Armitage?” In the hall she unpinned her hat and then pulled off her gloves.

“The doctor is away attending a factory accident and the midwife is delivering twins somewhere. She said she’d come as soon as she can.”

“Is it terribly bad yet?”

Florence joined her as they headed up the staircase. “Bad enough, but she’s not screaming. I’ve given her a wad of cloth to bite down on.”

At the bedroom door, Nicola paused. “I’ve never attended a birth before, Florence. Have you?”

“Aye, Miss. Plenty. My mother had six and my eldest sister had seven.”

“Right.” Taking a deep breath, Nicola opened the door and pasted a smile on her face. The air in the room was stale and the closed curtains threw it into a depressing gloom. “Open those curtains, Florence, and a window. The evening is warm.” She turned to the woman on the bed. “Now then, Miss Rogers. I hear we have a baby arriving shortly.”

Miss Rogers raised her head to nod weakly. She looked exhausted already. Her damp black hair clung to her face, which was the colour of uncooked dough, except for the two red spots on her cheeks. In the last few weeks she’d not gained much weight and Nicola feared the poor woman wouldn’t have the strength to expel the child.

Florence stepped closer to the bed. “Miss Rogers, I’m just off downstairs to get some water and a few things. Miss Douglas is here and will stay with you.”

“The doctor?”

“He’ll be here soon as he can.” Florence smiled and left the room.

Nicola sat on the chair drawn up to the bed. “How long have you had the pains?”

“Five hours or so. But my back has ached for three days.” Her face screwed up in agony as another pain assaulted her body.

Spying a water jug and glass on the bedside table, Nicola quickly filled the glass and put it to Miss Rogers’s lips. “This will make you feel better.”

“I think I need more than water, Miss Douglas.”

Grinning, Nicola placed the glass down and then took hold of Miss Roger’s thin hand. ‘May I call you by your Christian name, Penny?”

“Yes, I would like that.”

“Well then, Penny, you lie back and rest while you can.”

“I have written instructions.”

“Instructions?”

“In case I die.” She waved feebly to the drawer by the bed.

“Oh, you mustn’t think like that.” Fear gripped Nicola’s insides.

“The child, if it survives, is to be adopted by a good family that I have already found.”

“And what if you survive, which I’m certain you will, what of the child then?”

“It is still to be adopted. In the envelope is the family I found. Mr and Mrs Walker.”

“Walker?” Nicola leaned back in astonishment. “How did you find this family? You’ve not left the house since you arrived.”

“Mr Belfroy helped me.”

“That was his business when he visited you last week?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you mention it to me? I would have helped too.”

“I heard about the plans of building an orphanage here…” Penny winced and groaned. “You’d talk me out of it.”

“But we can care for the child here. You don’t have to give the baby up if you—”

“No! I don’t want the child here.” Another pain robbed her of breath. It was some minutes before she could speak again. “I have arranged everything, Miss Douglas. I hope you will adhere to my wishes?”

“Naturally.”

“The envelope, is in the drawer, will you take it? Once the child is born, will you send for the Walkers? Mr Belfroy assures me they are a nice couple. They plan to travel to New Zealand and start afresh.”

Nicola opened the drawer and took out the pale envelope. “I’ll do everything as you wish for it to be done.”

“Thank you.”

Florence hurried into the room carrying towels and a large bowl of water. “Doctor Armitage’s gig just turned into the drive, Miss Douglas. All will be well now.”

Nicola patted Penny’s hand in relief. “There now, that is good news. I’ll go and change my dress and will return shortly.” Standing, she slipped the envelope into her skirt pocket. As she left the room, she couldn’t dispel the grief weighing on her. A baby’s birth should be a joyous occasion, but not this time. Anger replaced the sadness when she thought of all the unmarried women who were taken advantage of and who would bear children they didn’t want, while the fathers continued their lives untouched.

* * * 

Nicola put her hand up to shade the baby’s face from the dawn’s first rays of light that streamed in through the bedroom window. Behind her, Penny slept an exhausted sleep. Gazing at the baby boy she held, Nicola felt a strong urge to never let him go. His tiny face, newly washed, was a soft rose pink colour. She noted every detail; his closed eyes showed the fine fan of eyelashes, his nose nothing but a delicate bud, the purse of his little lips. Quite simply she was in awe of him. A baby. Not just any baby, but one she’d seen fight his way into the world. She had watched his chest expand with his first breath, heard his first cry. The miracle that was birth left her speechless and teary. While Dr Armitage and Florence took care of Penny, the baby had been thrust into her hands and she’d been responsible for wrapping him and keeping him warm.

“Miss Douglas,” Florence whispered at her shoulder.

“Yes?”

“I’m heading off to bed for an hour or two. You should do the same. He’ll be fine in the basket.”

“I’ll stay with him for a bit longer, but you go and rest.” She smiled at Florence, who covered her mouth as she yawned.

Florence glanced down at the baby, moving the blanket aside to see him better. “He’s a good looking little chap, isn’t he?”

“Yes.” Nicola couldn’t help but feel proud of him, as though he was her son. ‘shall I take the basket into my room?”

“Might as well. Miss Rogers wants nothing to do with him.” Florence picked up the basket and together they left the sleeping mother and crossed the hallway to Nicola’s room.

“Thank you, Florence, but go to bed now. I’ll see to this little one.” Nicola shooed her out the door and once alone, went to sit on the bed. Gently she placed the baby down and instinctively laid along side of him. Bringing him closer into the curve of her body, she sighed and closed her eyes.

“Nicola. Wake up.”

Nicola opened her eyes, blinked, and stared at Frances. “Oh. Frances.”