I do not know how long it takes Madam Fenley to
read these words. The minutes crawl by. Entire rotations could be
passing outside for all I could guess. Finally, she stops reading,
meets my eyes and says, “You may begin.”
My exam is evaluated within moments of
completion, and my placement is as I knew it would be. Academia. My
father is a scientist. He places great value on knowledge, as do I.
I return to the receptionist, who regards my score with a wink and
a smile. She enters my information into the computer and a schedule
is generated. Mostly mathematics and science lessons, but my first
lesson is History with Madam Aldine, and it is already more than
halfway over.
“You better rush, Violet. Madam Aldine doesn’t
like when students are late.” With this, the receptionist pushes a
map and schedule into my hand, turns me around, and lightly nudges
me toward the door.
I follow my map across the courtyard of
dew-covered grass to a similarly ominous stone building. When I
approach the door of Madam Aldine’s room, I make eye contact with a
boy about my age, sitting in the back of the room. I stop. Thick,
dark brown hair, perfectly mussed, wearing a black shirt with black
pants and black boots. As he looks at me, his eyes widen and his
golden skin begins to drain of color. He shakes his head and mouths
the words, “Don’t come in,” as he points toward the front of the
room. I freeze, unsure of what to do. I begin very slowly to back
away from the door as I hear someone say, “David. What are you
looking at?”
The disembodied voice that I hear sounds very
stern. Very… unforgiving. He breaks eye contact with me and jerks
his head toward the voice. “Nothing, Madam Aldine, I’m just… trying
to visualize this essay.” He shoots her a charming smile. It
doesn’t work.
“We are not
visualizing,
young man, we
are
composing
. If you want to waste time daydreaming then I
suggest you do it somewhere else because it certainly will not be
tolerated here. Do you understand that, or do you need to spend a
little more time thinking about it? Perhaps begin an
apprenticeship? Or maybe some work in the mines?”
“No, Madam Aldine.”
“Then get back to work.”
David tilts his head toward his desk, but looks
up at me and winks. As I turn to go, my dew-soaked shoe betrays me
with a squeak, and before I can escape, she is standing in the
doorway. This woman could benefit from a larger doorway. Her head
is barely an inch away from the top, and her large frame all but
fills the entire space. She is not fat, just very, very large. Her
hair is pulled back into a tight bun, and it seems that her face is
caught in a permanent scowl. I feel like a criminal. Or perhaps an
animal in a hunter’s trap.
“Who are you, young lady? Or, perhaps a better
question, why do you find it necessary to enter an institute of
learning for the sole purpose of distracting my students? Where are
you supposed to be?” And then she narrows her eyes even more. “Are
you
defecting?
”
I hear the collective gasp of all of the
students in the classroom behind her, and then silence as they
await the answers to her questions. When I finally find my voice,
it is barely audible.
“Violet. I’m here to—”
“Speak up. If you want to disrupt my lesson and
waste my time, you could at least have the common courtesy to speak
so that I can hear you.”
I raise my voice. “My name is Violet. I’m to be
in your first lesson.”
“Oh. Your name is Violet. You’re to be in my
first lesson. Well then, Violet, let me ask you a question. If you
are to be in my first lesson,
why are you not in my first
lesson?
So far, you have only stood outside and made faces at
students in my first lesson.”
“I had to take The Gi—” I stop myself as I
remember the receptionist’s words.
You don’t want that getting
around…
“I arrived late. I have only recently
relocated.”
She snorts, and then says, “Have a seat,
Violet.”
As she walks away, she turns around, catches me
with her cold gaze, and says, “Please remember that next time I
will not be so forgiving.”
* * *
When the bell rings, I rush toward the door. I
have the vague impression that others are looking at me, but I do
not stop to introduce myself. I steer around slow-walking
classmates and make a break for the exterior door that will lead me
back to the courtyard. As soon as I cross the threshold and step
into the sun, I feel an immediate sense of relief. I tilt my face
toward the sky and attempt to steady my haggard breaths. Attempt to
slow my pounding pulse. After so long trying to remember, it is an
odd sensation, hoping to forget. What I would give for the
opportunity to go back in time and relive this day. Knowing how it
would go, I might decide never to begin my lessons here in Eligo. I
might choose to stay at home with my father. No, perhaps not. I
would certainly choose not to go to Madam Aldine’s lesson, though.
So much for trying to blend in. I can hardly bear the prospect of
attending another class. Surely word of the new student reamed by
Madam Aldine will be getting around. I can already see the smirks.
I can already hear the muffled laughter.
I open my eyes just in time to see a darkly
clothed figure approaching. Now he’s close enough and I can see
that it’s the classmate who tried to help me. Didn’t Madam Aldine
say his name is David? We make eye contact and he smiles. For a
moment, I’m frozen, caught in the sheer brilliance of that smile.
For a moment, it’s as if another smile has never happened. Like
that smile has never been given to anyone else. I shake my head to
clear these absurd thoughts, but now I’ve wasted too much time and
he’s too close now. Talking to him is absolutely out of the
question, so I don’t have much choice but to turn on my heel and
begin walking briskly in the opposite direction. Nevermind that I’m
now walking away from my next class.
I keep walking and in a few moments breathe a
sigh of relief at having evaded him. My relief is short-lived,
however, when I hear bounding steps approaching behind me. He
crosses in front of me, saying, “Come on, I may not be the best
looking guy at Nineteen, but I’ve never had a girl run away
before.” I’m caught by that smile again. I have no idea how to
respond.
“Oh, no, I, uh… I wasn’t running from you—well,
I was, but not because you’re—” Now he’s laughing. Of course he
wasn’t serious.
He holds his hand out and says, “I’m David. Your
name is Violet, right?”
“Yes, I’m Violet.” I place my hand in his,
noting the dark tan color of his skin, the roughness of his palms;
his grip is firm, but he holds my hand gently, as if he might break
it. He must do a lot of outdoor labor. Though I had assumed that
most students follow their parents as far as job placement goes,
the placement exam must ensure that students with unique aptitudes
are placed accordingly.
“Look, Violet, don’t worry about Madam Aldine;
she’s always like that. I hope you’re not embarrassed. Everyone
knows her temper.”
I’m still embarrassed, but a little relieved. At
least he’s attempting to comfort me. Before I can respond, we’re
approached by a group of three girls who seem to be about our age.
The girl in the middle stands a little in front of the other two.
Her hair is long and very light, but she has dark eyebrows and
thickly lashed green eyes. She is stunning, and clearly the leader
of this little group. The other two are attractive in a common way;
they stand closely behind her, almost as if they wish to absorb a
little of her radiance. I watch their eyes travel from my face to
my feet and back up again, evaluating my appearance. They do not
bother to speak to me. The beauty’s attention is trained on David.
She is the first to speak. “Hey, David.” Her smile is almost as
brilliant as his.
“Oh, hey, Annabelle. How’s my favorite Council
member?”
Her laugh is musical. She reaches out and
touches his arm playfully. “Oh, David, you know the new Council
members haven’t been appointed yet.”
He leans in toward her. “Come on, you’re a
definite successor. How could they not choose you?”
She laughs again. “You know, I think you’re
right.”
I am not sure if she’s making a joke, or just
very sure of herself.
David turns his attention toward Annabelle’s
companions. “And how are you lovely ladies? Did you enjoy our first
lesson?”
The girl to Annabelle’s left raises an eyebrow
and nods in my direction, saying, “Well, it was certainly…
entertaining.”
The three girls laugh and I consider fleeing. I
must be blushing. I look down at the ground to avoid their faces.
Annabelle places a hand on my shoulder and I look back up. She has
a pitying look on her face when she asks, “Violet, yes?” I nod.
“Don’t worry about it, Violet. Madam Aldine always picks on people
who seem weak.”
Her expression does not change, though the girls
behind her smirk. I am not sure if she intends to insult me or if
she has just done a poor job of consoling me. After a beat, she
turns back toward David, smiles, and says, “Well, we’re off. See
you later, David.”
I cannot help but watch them go. When they’re
gone, I turn toward David and—avoiding eye contact—mumble, “I have
to go.”
After such an awful first day at Nineteen, I am
beyond relieved to have a day to spend at our home. My father
invited me to go with him to the farmers’ market to get some
produce, but I declined. I simply couldn’t bear the thought of
possibly seeing a classmate. Or worse, Madam Aldine herself. I
could tell my father was disappointed when I refused his
invitation. Probably, I used to love going to the market, and he
was hoping to jog my memory in some way. I just don’t have the
energy today.
I spend the morning in the meadow behind our
home with my sketchbook. Since we arrived, I have always been able
to find peace in this meadow. I sit with my back toward the house.
All evidence of human inhabitance is behind me. Sitting in the tall
meadow grass, my head is only just barely visible. If I lie down, I
can disappear completely. Sometimes, I pretend that I have.
The meadow extends further until it finally ends
at the edge of a thick forest. From the highest hill, I can see
nothing beyond the forest. It continues as far as the horizon.
Though the forest is dark, I do not fear it. In fact, it seems
almost welcoming. I like to sketch the things that I see. Sometimes
birds. Sometimes other animals. I watch them in the grasses, and
then I watch them disappear into the darkness of the wood. I wonder
what’s inside the forest, but more often than that, I wonder what’s
beyond it. I wonder if it ever ends. And with thoughts like this
come more thoughts. Like if I wanted to, I could disappear into the
darkness, too.
I hear the sound of my father’s vehicle
approaching. I consider for a moment lying down so he can’t see me,
but then he’d just come calling. Selfishly, I wish that I could
have just a little more time.
I hear him coming, rustling through the thick
grasses. I don’t turn around. I’m not sure if he expects me to.
When he reaches me, he doesn’t say anything. He just sits down next
to me. We sit in silence for a long time, but the air is not filled
with tension or unsaid words. For this little piece of time,
nothing needs to be said.
It’s moments like these, when my father and I
are at complete peace, that I feel the most hope. That I think
maybe, just maybe, I’m still his Violet.
My father is the first to break the silence, but
his words are not unwelcome.
“Do you know that Earth used to be this
beautiful?”
My father nods when he sees my face. Earth? How
could that barren wasteland ever have had the beauty of Eligo?
“It’s true,” he asserts, and says, “Cerno used to be nothing. A big
red rock of a planet that was nothing compared to the beauty and
variety of life present on Earth. There were giant rainforests with
trees that seemed to reach to the skies. They were filled with so
much life that hundreds or thousands of different species could be
found within a single stretch of land. The oceans were so blue that
you could see them from outer space, and so full of life that Earth
scientists never stopped discovering new variations of
creatures.”
“What happened?” I asked. I noted the curiosity
as well as the fear in my voice; if something had happened to
destroy Earth, could it happen here on Cerno?
“We messed it up,” he says. “That’s why the
option was taken out of the people’s hands; they had been allowed
to knowingly destroy their planet, but they would not do the same
to Cerno. This is why The Vox regulates everything so strictly
here.
“What happened to Earth is a tragedy, but those
of us who are lucky enough to live here on Cerno must appreciate
the fact that we have been given a second chance. Likewise, you and
I have been given a second chance here in Eligo. Let’s not waste
it, all right?”
He’s right. I know he’s right. But still, I am
uneasy, though I’m not quite sure why. “So everyone migrated from
Earth to Cerno?”
My father shifts next to me. “Well, not
everyone. Some people are still there. They have adapted to their
environment. Earth is still livable.”
I pause because there is a question that nags
me, only I can’t quite formulate it properly. Oh, well.
My father is talking again, but this time there
is a childlike excitement in his demeanor. “Actually, there’s a lot
that we’re still learning about Earth. For instance, did you know
that there is a small stretch of land there that is untouched by
destruction?”
Now I am interested, too.
“What do you mean? How can that be?”
“That’s the interesting part, V. No one knows.
Not even the best scientists, who have tested the dirt, the plants,
and even the air, can figure out why this land is untouched. The
grass is as lush as here in Eligo, the fruit trees are plentiful,
the water is free from contaminants, the ecosystem is intact. Guess
it’s just one of those mysteries.”