Viking's Love (35 page)

Joran couldn’t bear to see her grow large
with another man’s child. He didn’t trust himself to not harm her
in a fit of rage. He refused to come back into the hall until they
were gone.

Grogan arrived and opened the locked door. He
scowled at her as he looked down at her. He didn’t mind his words
as he gazed at her furiously. “You lied to him?” he asked as he put
his hands upon his hips and eyed her unkindly. “You told him it was
Rowan’s child, didn’t you?”

“
I did nothing of the sort.”
Allisande’s violet eyes were saddened as she looked away. “I told
him to think what he wished, and he has. You may excuse the man’s
assumptions, but I do not. He refuses to see what is in front of
his face. It is no fault of mine.”

“
You know he believes the worst of
things first, so why do you play at words?”Grogan asked in
frustration and shook his head. “He sent me to collect you and take
you home to Lockwraithe. I’m sure that will please you now that you
have gotten your way, my lady,” he snapped coldly and glared at
her. “You have to but say one word! He will know the truth from me;
I swear it on any God you would name.”

“
He should know his own heart and mind.
He believes what he chooses.” Allisande rose and gathered her
things which were few. She took her gifts that the people here had
made for her and little else. She wanted no reminders of her time
here. “It is for the best, and you know it. I do not belong here,
Grogan. I do not belong with him.”

Grogan said nothing as he followed her up the
stairs. She looked about the hall. Her shoulders sagged as she
realized Joran wasn’t there. He couldn’t bear to even look upon
her. Her heart wept as she followed Grogan out the door.

Janna and the rest of the people arrived to
see her off. She saw the disappointment in Elwynn’s eyes when she
hugged her tightly and allowed Grogan to help her board. She felt
eyes upon her. When she looked up where the house was, she saw no
one. She smiled wanly as they made ready to sail, and ignored the
feeling of dread as the ship eased away from the dock.

She couldn’t bear to watch, and turned away,
not seeing the figure who watched the long ship disappear around
the bend with a fierce frown.

The journey went surprisingly without
incident and the Vikings treated her with respect as they
approached England. Grogan gave up nettling her. She was excited
when they spied land.

Grogan acknowledged they wouldn’t be taking
her directly to Lockwraithe, and would be leaving her at the abbey
instead. She nodded and realized it was where she would remain when
Collin discovered her condition.

When the ship slid along shore after
midnight, Grogan took her to the doors to the abbey, looking
pensive as he waited for the nuns to awaken. “We can leave now, and
you can tell him the truth when we get back. He will listen if I
have to tie him down to do so,” Grogan offered in one last effort
to change her mind, and she flatly refused.

“
He knows the truth,” Allisande said
under her breath. “He is just being a pig-headed ass! I may be just
a woman, but I have my pride as well. It is done, Grogan. Ivar has
his precious son all to himself, and I am back where I
belong.”

“
You will find pride to be a lonely
thing, Allisande.” Grogan looked down at her as they heard
footsteps approaching, and bid her farewell. When the doors to the
abbey opened, Grogan was gone. When she looked to the woods, she
could see none of them who watched, but she knew them to be there.
She felt tears threaten. A part of her wanted to run after Grogan
and go back.

A lump formed in her throat as the nuns
arrived, looking properly scandalized by her appearance on their
doorstep at that hour. She explained who she was. A messenger was
dispatched to Lockwraithe immediately.

Allisande was ushered inside and given
refreshments to await her brother. She ignored their questions
about who brought her to their door as she waited. She felt no pain
as numbness set in. Joran sent her away. The child that grew within
her would never know its father. The dream she had ended in
despair.

****

Joran stared at the bottom of his tankard.
His thoughts once more went to his former captive. Ivar was furious
he sent her home before receiving the ransom, but he could take no
more. Knowing she carried Rowan’s child devastated him. He had no
cause to hate Allisande. She was a captive. He knew she would find
a means to escape if the opportunity presented itself. He would
have done no less if he had been in her stead.

He believed he could be happy again when he
was with her. The fragile hope her heart would soften towards him
was destroyed when he saw her on the deck of Rowan’s ship that
day.

He gave her the last sliver of his heart and
she tossed it into the dirt. What did he expect? He more than set
himself up for the pain that wracked him now that she was gone.

It had only been a month since he had sent
Grogan and Haldon and his other men to see her home. The feeling of
her absence was strong within him. He pushed the tankard away and
smiled bleakly as he reached down to scratch Thor’s head.

He felt a presence and looked up. Elwynn
fidgeted under his piercing blue gaze. Her features were wrought
with worry. She appeared distraught, and fearful to speak to him.
Joran rose and went around the table to discover what was wrong
with her.

“
I fear if I tell you what I am about
to, you will be angry, Joran,” Elwynn whispered and eyed Janna for
moral support. Janna smiled encouragingly at her, and promptly
turned her back to allow them privacy.

“
What is it, Elwynn?” Joran folded his
massive arms across his chest. “Tell me what it is, and I assure
you, I will not be angry.”

“
Oh, I fear you will be very angry,
Joran.”

“
Elwynn, will you just say it, for
Thor’s sake!” Joran barked, causing the woman to jump and look like
she would flee his presence.

“
Allisande doesn’t carry Rowan’s babe.
She was too far along and had the sickness in the morning when she
was brought back. She led you to believe what you would. I wanted
her to tell you the truth, but she made me promise. She feared you
would take the child from her when you ransomed her back to her
brother.”

Joran looked outraged at her words. Elwynn
let out a squeak as she saw his face grow livid in anger. She
scooted away to hide behind Janna, who looked amused as she met his
gaze.

“
How many of you have known?” Joran
roared as he eyed them all. Serfs shuffled under his scowl. Even
some of his men looked apologetic. Janna and the other women merely
shrugged. “You have all known of this, and not one of you saw fit
to tell me?”

“
You wouldn’t have believed her? Why
should we have said anything?”Janna asked unkindly and glared at
him. “Think very hard, Joran! Did she actually say the child was
Rowan’s, or did you likely assume it?”

Joran thought about the day he arrived at her
cell, and the words she used to answer him when he demanded who
fathered the child. He balked at the clever way she allowed him to
think the worst of her, and he had, thinking she had given herself
to Rowan.

“
What do you think,
Viking?”
She said, her violet eyes meeting his before
he jumped to the wrong conclusion and sent her away. He could feel
the censure in Janna’s gaze and grew angry.

“
She never said it was mine, either!”
Joran snarled and kicked a chair out of his way. “You think me
wrong for sending her away? She wanted to go! It is just as well,
for she was the worst slave a man ever owned!”

“
I think you have much to think upon,
Joran, “Janna said and smiled gently. “Just do yourself a favor and
don’t take so long at it. By my calculations, your child is due
midsummer.”

Joran’s anger was hardly diffused. He stomped
out of the hall. He didn’t know where he was going, but somehow he
found himself upon the bluff overlooking the fjord that ran
alongside his home. The anger diminished. He began to feel a sense
of elation. He was to have a child.

His eyes narrowed as he assessed the ice
forming above the fjord already. Grogan would have to hammer the
ice away from the sides of the ship if the temperatures kept
dropping.

It was unlikely he could sail to Lockwraithe
this late in the year to reclaim his errant slave. He smiled
mirthlessly when he thought of how he would go about recapturing
Allisande of Lockwraithe. He chuckled as he turned and made his way
back to the hall, his mood improved as he contemplated the
future.

****

Collin was so happy to see his sister,
he nearly forgot Miriam at his side. He frowned at that
name.
No that was not her name at
all
, he thought in irritation. He wondered for the
hundredth time why he could never remember the girl’s name when she
reminded him daily. He introduced his sister and was relieved
Meghera, as she was called, introduced herself.

Allisande gazed at his child bride. He could
see the amusement in her eyes when they met his over her head. They
had much to discuss, and he wanted no interruptions.

He sent whatever-her-name-was to her room,
and eyed his sister with concern as he grasped her hand, noting how
well she looked despite her months of captivity with the Berserker
Viking, Joran Ivarsson.

Allisande was impressed with the rebuilt
hall, and remarked on the changes made to the keep as they arrived
home from the abbey. Lady Edwina wasn’t aware of her arrival. He
wanted to speak with Allisande first before his mother drowned them
all with her happy tears discovering her daughter lived.

They sat by the fire in the great hall.
Allisande remarked on his marriage to delay discussing her
captivity. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. “I cannot ever remember
the girl’s name, and she plays with dolls still,” Collin said with
some humor. “I had little choice but to marry when the keep was
leveled by your captors. I approached both Luxtley and Ulsted to
provide the ransom, but as you know, Luxtley is now dead. The
Vikings were very thorough, though they left the village
alone.”

“
What of Ulsted?” Allisande thought of
the third conspirator who remained alive while both her father and
his friend had been killed. “Will you go to the king and expose him
as you should?”

“
It is not as simple as all that,
Allisande.” Collin avoided her gaze. He could feel her anger, and
knew she was ready to launch into one of her tirades. He held up a
hand at her look and leaned forward to speak quietly. “Ulsted will
expose our father, and we will be stripped of everything. Think of
mother. Think of yourself as well. Do you think I didn’t want to
expose him? I was extorting them for the damned money to free you!
I had little choice after Ivar robbed us blind. I had the
opportunity to tell our king the truth. I chose to pursue them for
the funds for your ransom instead. I doubt our king will think
highly of me for choosing you over him, sister mine. It appears the
Vikings got everything from both father and Luxtley. I don’t know
what Ivar plans for Ulsted, and don’t care now that you’re
home.”

Allisande nodded sadly, all too aware Collin
had been put in an impossible situation which made her think of her
own now that she was home. She eyed her brother carefully. There
was only one way to deal with Collin, and that was directly. “I am
carrying the Viking’s child, Collin.” Tears brightened her gaze as
she braced herself for his rage. He stiffened and looked like he
wanted to kill someone. “I know I have brought more shame upon us,
but I want this child. If you want to send me away, I will
understand. You have Meghera to consider, and your future
heirs.”

“
You will go nowhere!” Collin stood up
and paced in front of the hearth, looking so outraged Allisande
wanted to comfort him. “We will find a way to resolve this for
you.”

“
I gave my heart to Joran Ivarsson,
Collin,” Allisande said and flinched from his look of anger. “I
wasn’t aware of my feelings until I arrived here. I would ask you
not to seek vengeance upon him or Ivar for the sake of the
child.”

“
You ask too much, Allisande!”Collin
cried in outrage and spun about to look at her in horror. “Over
fifty people died at Lockwraithe that day! Our people! All over a
damned debt our father owed to the Viking. They would have killed
you as well, had they not been so greedy to want the
ransom!”

“
Ivar’s son was killed in
Northumberland last year, Collin. It was our father and the others
who betrayed Ivar. This was vengeance, pure and simple, and it is
over, except Ulsted still lives. It was never about the riches. Do
you not see?”

“
How is it you came by all this
information?”Collin asked tightly, aware his sister knew more than
he did.

“
Joran told me, as well as many of his
people,” Allisande said softly and met his gaze squarely. “Our
father was a traitor, Collin. He helped plan the raids. He was no
better than Ivar. You must let this go. Ivar has a hollow
victory.”

“
You seem sure of that,” Collin said
glumly, all the pleasure of launching an attack on Joran Ivarsson
gone with his sister’s words. “I hope you’re right, for I do not
wish to worry about future raids by Ivar.”

Allisande thought of Ivar and knew he would
pass by Lockwraithe, and defend them in his own way, knowing his
grandson was there. Ivar was many things, but he was fierce when it
came to protecting his family. Thinking of all he had done to keep
Joran at his side made her realize he would never have a content
moment. Ivar wanted him angry and devastated because it made him a
better warrior. She couldn’t fight Ivar and win his son. She felt
no defeat at realizing this, and she smiled brightly at her
brother. “Ivar has had his vengeance, Collin,” she said softly
without resentment. “You must put yours aside. You must think of
Meghera now. You have a wife, Collin. Someday you will have
children. Don’t allow the need for revenge to goad you into
destroying all you have rebuilt.”