Authors: Pamela Sargent
"Our plans." Risa shook her head. "Even if we came up with some, they won't mean much if Earth decides to reclaim the Project entirely. Almost everyone would be on our side then, but it would be too late." Their dream of a new world would die, one where people might reach for more instead of clinging to what they had. They would become only another Nomarchy used to display the power of the Mukhtars while Ishtar filled their minds with illusions. Earth's stagnant, dying culture would strangle them.
Risa got to her feet slowly. "I must go inside," she said, "and be more hospitable to our guests." She turned toward the house. Was she nearly sixty already? Once, she would have found that unbelievable; now, she felt even older, weighed down by her burdens. She had many to carry now — a dead child she still mourned, a former bondmate who had shown his lack of faith in this world by fleeing to a Hab, a daughter besotted with a mad dream, who had become her enemy.
* * *
Chimene awoke late. For a moment, she felt disoriented, then recalled that she was back in her own room, having returned to Oberg the day before. Boaz and Matthew had gone back to the settlement a few weeks earlier and had assembled a group of nearly one hundred people to greet her outside the bay. The crowd had cheered when they saw her; two children had presented her with a garland of red flowers. She might have been more moved by the display if she hadn't felt so tired.
She longed for rest, for a few quiet weeks with her friends, but Boaz was already making plans for her to begin a tour of the other settlements. He had pointed out that the other dome Councils would appreciate seeing her after her sojourn on the Islands and that her presence at meetings in the other communities would inspire her followers now. He had talked of little except the trip after her return; she felt tired just thinking about it. There would be more months away from her home, more speeches to prepare, more people asking for spiritual guidance or inviting her to their houses. But Boaz would come with her and ease her burden however he could.
She forced herself to sit up. Her bed was empty; Boaz had gotten up without disturbing her. She glanced at the timepiece on the table near the bed; the others would be finished with breakfast by now.
By the time she had washed, dressed, and entered the common room, she found the rest of the household still seated around their trays of dishes. Two guests were with them, a blond young man, who seemed familiar, and a slender dark-eyed girl she did not know.
Before she could greet them, Lang Eberschild got to his feet. "I'll fetch you some breakfast," the gray-haired man said.
"And I'd better be on my way," Galina Kolek murmured as she stood up. "I've got two patients at the infirmary to see. It's good to have you back, Chimene — too bad you won't be staying that long."
"I wish I could." Chimene seated herself on the floor. "But it will give me joy to see brothers and sisters I don't often have the chance to visit."
Galina picked up her bag and hurried out the door;
Lang returned with a bowl of grain soup, herb tea, and some fruit. "You know at least one of our guests." Josefa Huong gestured at the young man. "Maxim Paz — he says he was one of your pupils."
The blond man gazed at her with his black eyes before lowering his head. She remembered him now — an attractive but sullen boy, who did not have many friends and who had displayed no particular intellectual prowess. He had left school at twelve to apprentice himself to an airship mechanic.
"I'm happy to see you again." She was a little annoyed that no one had told her there would be guests. "Still working in the airship bay?"
The young man nodded. "I'm a patrol volunteer, too."
"That's recent," Boaz said, "but he seems to be working out well enough. Maxim has been visiting us from time to time while you were away, and I've been giving him some guidance, but it's my hope you'll make time to speak to him before we have to leave."
Maxim kept his eyes down. He had been tall even as a boy; he looked like a man now, although he had to be only sixteen or seventeen. "Of course," Chimene said, wondering why Boaz wanted her to speak privately with this boy.
"Maxim has a few problems," Boaz said. The young man flinched; his cheeks were reddening. "But we needn't discuss that now. He has been making the effort to overcome obstacles to his faith. I assured him that you bear only love and forgiveness for anyone who tries to walk the right path, whatever his failings."
"That is true." Maxim was refusing to look at her; his teeth dug into his lower lip. "I've struggled with my own faith," she went on, "and committed my share of sins, I suppose, especially when I was your age. No one is condemned for trying to follow the right way. Please feel free to visit me tomorrow evening, if the patrol can spare you then."
"All right." He did not sound as though he welcomed that prospect. "I'm honored." Maxim rose. "I have to get to work."
"Which reminds me," Josefa said as she got up. "I'd better get to the lab. Come along, Maxim — we can walk part of the way together." She slipped her arm through his and led him from the room.
"And this child," Matthew said, "is Lakshmi Tiris."
The girl looked up. Her long black hair hung in a thick braid to her waist; her pale brown skin was flawless. Chimene saw her beauty then; the child almost reminded her of herself.
"I wanted to meet you so much," Lakshmi said. "I saw you a couple of times at meetings in our dome, but you probably don't remember me. When Boaz invited me here —" She turned toward Boaz. A flush darkened her cheeks; her brown eyes warmed as she gazed at him.
"I should have remembered anyone as beautiful as you," Chimene said.
"Lakshmi's taken to following Boaz around," Yusef said. "He attended a meeting at her parents' house while you were away, and he was moved by the interest she took in his talk. He's visited with her family since then and told them she'd have a chance to meet you."
"I'm delighted," Chimene replied. The girl was still staring at Boaz. "Are you in school?"
"Oh, yes." Lakshmi focused on Chimene. "In the southwest dome."
"And quite a good student, I'm told." Boaz put a hand on Lakshmi's shoulder; her blush deepened. "I'm sure her teacher will forgive her for being late today when she knows Lakshmi was here, but we've detained her long enough. She and her household will be joining us for dinner after dark."
"I'll look forward to meeting your parents," Chimene said.
"Now be off with you," Boaz said. "We'll see you later." The girl hurried toward the door and shot Boaz one last look before she went outside.
Chimene sipped her tea; Lang gathered up the empty trays and retreated to the kitchen. "Charming child," Eva said. "She's so taken with Boaz — you'd think he was another father."
"I wanted to ask you about Lakshmi." Boaz reached for a berry on Chimene's tray. "I've discussed this with the household, but I haven't said anything to the girl or her parents yet. I wanted to speak to you first. You needn't decide right away, until you've had more time to talk with her, but I think she should live here with us. We'll have a couple of weeks before the trip, and I think you'll warm toward her as quickly as we all did. It'd be good to have a child in the house, and Lang's already offered to give up part of his room space so we can add a room for her. Josefa's willing to share her room with Lakshmi until we leave on our tour — she's quite enthusiastic about having the girl with us."
It seemed the others had already settled this and expected her to go along. "Her parents would have something to say about that."
"They would be honored to have her in the Guide's household," Boaz responded. "They're quite devout — I doubt they'd object. On the contrary — they'd be delighted that we think so highly of her."
"How old is she?"
"Twelve — old enough so that her parents would be willing to let her go."
She could think of no other objections and wondered why she felt uneasy about having the girl in this house. Lakshmi was too young for the rite, and she did not want the child startled by seeing things she was not yet ready to view, but that small difficulty could be solved. Lang could always stay with her then; the older man often lacked the strength for the rite.
"You seem quite anxious to make her part of this household." Chimene looked directly at Boaz; he gazed back steadily. "Surely it isn't just because you want a child here."
"No, it isn't. I think the girl may have the makings of a Guide. I can't be certain — the Spirit will have to reveal that to you if such is the case. But if it's true, think of how much she would gain by being here, growing up with this household to guide her. She could be at your side, learning from you. If it turns out that she won't be the Guide, she will still be closer to the truth."
"She's awfully young for you to envision such a future for her," Chimene said.
"Older than you were," Matthew murmured, "when Kichi chose you."
"And I'm not so old that I have to worry about a successor."
"But that's the point," Boaz said. "She'd have years with you — decades to master what being a Guide demands. By the time she became the Guide, she would know almost as much as you do, and she'd be prepared to see the fellowship into the new era you've made possible. And if she isn't to follow you, that experience will still make her a valuable teacher to the one who does, when you're no longer with us." Boaz gestured with one hand. "How it pains me to speak of that — I'd have you live forever if I could, I can't imagine our world without you. But we must prepare for that eventuality, and it would give me joy to know that your wisdom will live on in another."
She could not bear to think of death or of the aging that would precede it. Occasionally, she thought that Kichi had been fortunate to die before she lost all her beauty. At other times, she had almost wished for a way to gain a Habber's long life, with a body that would have remained unchanged. It was a sinful thought at best.
"If you want a child here so much," she said, "we could have the child you want ourselves."
"As we shall, in time. But you see how much lies ahead for you now. You have other concerns, and I fear that our child will have to wait, but there's no reason we can't share what we have with another of Ishtar's children in the meantime. You'll grow to love Lakshmi, and our child will have one who will be like an older sister to her."
"Lakshmi will be devoted to you," Matthew said. "For the past days, almost all she's talked about is having the chance to meet you and talk with you."
Chimene set down her bowl of grain. "I suppose I must consider this, since those so close to me recommend it."
"Well, then." Matthew reclined against a cushion. "We can set that matter aside for now. We have other things to discuss. Boaz has spoken to the other Councilors here and communicated with the other settlements. The patrols in all of our communities are already looking for members who are trustworthy and willing to go to Turing."
She frowned. "Turing?"
"We've left them alone quite long enough," Boaz said. "I don't like the rumors I hear about the place — that the people there imagine they can find a way to summon the Habbers back, or that they're trying to plot with others against us. It's time we tried to lead those misguided souls back to the truth. They need the patrol to persuade them to contemplate the right way. They need a firmer hand."
Chimene glanced at Eva and Yusef; they seemed as surprised as she, "If you feel they need to hear the truth," she said, "we can always call them back and find others to work there in their place. Surely they'd be more receptive to our teachings once they're back among their families and friends."
"Your faith does you credit," Boaz said. "When I see how it lives in you, it's hard to believe that anyone can resist its beauty. But some people cannot be won with gentle words and persuasion. Oh, some of them might reach out to us if they were brought back, but many would only spread discord here. Any seeds the Habbers may have planted in their minds must be torn out before they come among us again."
"And you decided this without consulting me?" she said angrily.
Boaz pressed his fingertips together. "I was acting for you, Chimene. I was sure you'd agree once you were back. It would be wise for you to show the Project Council and Administrator Alim that you are capable of handling this potential source of trouble." He smiled. "And how can it possibly be wrong to bring those people in Turing closer to Ishtar, even if that means we may have to be a bit harsh with them?"
She said, "My brother's there."
"All the more reason you should be supporting my decision."
"Really? The last time Dyami visited, he led me to believe that he wasn't entirely unsympathetic with our fellowship."
"That was some time ago."
"He hasn't told me anything in the few messages he's sent me to indicate he's changed his mind." Chimene finished her tea. "He has some of our mother's skepticism. It may take him longer to reach the truth, but I think he's trying. It's true that he spoke kindly of some of the Habbers there, but by now he's probably seen that they were never really his friends. I wasn't happy that he chose to work with Habbers, but he was young when he decided to go to Turing, and it's natural to want a little more independence at that age. I'm sure many of the others there are not unlike Dyami. It'd be foolish to be hard on people who might turn to us freely in time."
Boaz glanced at Matthew; the blond man's lip curled slightly. She could tell what they were thinking — that she was being too lenient, that her love for her people left her a bit more tolerant than she should be. They did not understand. She knew Dyami would come to her eventually, that the barriers between them would fall, as they once had with Sef. He would come to love her; she felt that the Spirit had promised this to her, that her moments with Sef were only a shadow of the love his son would give her.
Sef, of course, had retreated from her, but only because he was still so bound to Risa. Dyami had no such ties. He would be struggling with his feelings, telling himself they were wrong; she had seen how he had shied away from her. Perhaps he had remained in Turing because he feared what might happen. When he became part of Ishtar, however, he would see what had to exist between them. They would have a perfect love, one that would shatter yet another barrier.