Authors: Helen Harper
I started. ‘You know it’s here?’
He nodded. ‘Of course. I can feel it.’
Okay. That wasn’t great. ‘Can you maybe keep that to yourself?’
His heavy brow creased. ‘It is a great honour having the source of all magic reside here.’
‘A great honour which other Sidhe might be, um, jealous of.’
His expression cleared. ‘I understand.’ He met my eyes. ‘I shall leave the dealings with those other Sidhe in your hands but I am available for you to call on should you require further help.’ His sudden formality was surprising.
‘Thank you,’ I murmured, not entirely convinced I understood all that had just happened.
He inclined his head and together we returned to the others.
***
S
orley refused to abandon his post at the border so, in deference to him, we all stayed there for dinner. Taylor produced a few tins of beans which we heated up over a small fire. No one said very much but I thought it was less out of awkwardness and more because we needed time on our own to absorb the day’s revelations. Once the tins had been scraped clean, however, the lack of conversation began to grate on me.
I was just about to try and engage Sorley in small talk when he raised himself up slightly from his cross-legged position and farted.
Taylor raised an eyebrow. ‘I can do better than that,’ he declared. He proceeded to do so.
Lexie got up and backed away, holding her nose. ‘You guys are disgusting.’
‘Oh come on, it’s perfectly natural.’
‘You don’t have to be so ... so ... blatant.’ She sniffed. ‘At least my farts smell pretty.’
Even Speck laughed at that. ‘Pretty?’
‘Of course. Like roses. Or a fresh sprig of lily of the valley.’
Bob looked at her archly. ‘I am a magnificent being – but even my bodily emissions do not smell like that.’
Brochan leaned over to me. ‘This would be a good time for a joke, or in about sixty seconds flat we’re all going to be sniffing each other’s arses.’
I grinned. ‘You want a fart joke? Really?’
‘Lesser of two evils.’
I opened my mouth but, before I could speak, there was a squeak. Speck looked at Lexie. ‘So not only do your farts smell like flowers but they sound like mice?’
‘That wasn’t me!’ she huffed.
We turned to Bob. He threw his little arms up in the air. ‘What? Just because something strange happens, you automatically think it’s me?’
There was another squeak. The smile disappeared from Sorley’s face and he leapt to his feet. ‘It’s an intruder. It has to be.’
‘Mate,’ Taylor drawled, ‘I understand you take your job seriously. But we don’t have to worry about rodents sneaking in. We can’t worry about every furry creature or we’ll go even crazier than we already are.’
Sorley ignored him. He was in full attack stance, his legs splayed and his head darting from side to side. ‘Sorley,’ I said gently, ‘it’s alright. It’s not a monster. And it’s not going to hurt us.’
He whipped round a full one hundred and eighty degrees. A tiny ball came hurtling from out of the darkness and crashed against his leg before hopping manically upwards. Everyone jumped about a foot.
‘Kill it!’ Bob shrieked.
I sighed. ‘Bob...’
Sorley lifted one massive foot. Alarmed at what he was about to do, I lunged forward and grabbed the fur ball with both hands. It squeaked again and wriggled, trying desperately to get free.
Taylor peered at it. ‘What the bejesus is that?’
I held it up. ‘It’s a haggis.’
Lexie nudged Speck. ‘I knew it,’ she said in a loud whisper. ‘It was only a matter of time before hanging around with all those Sidhe made Tegs lose her marbles.’
‘Uh Integrity,’ Bob said. ‘Haggises are not real. Not unless they’re on a plate anyway.’
Brochan pursed his lips. ‘Isn’t it haggi?’
I held the squirming creature towards them. ‘Whatever the plural is, it really is a haggis.’ I shrugged. ‘Something to do with Morna Carnegie.’
‘The flower woman?’
I nodded. At the Games, she’d used her Gift to give life to the most stunning display of heather that I’d ever seen. I was on a promise to visit her and gain control over my Gift. Considering I’d stolen part of her Gift – whether unconsciously or not ‒ and she hadn’t censured me for it, it wasn’t a promise I wanted to break. ‘They get all over the place. The haggis, I mean. I’ve seen their tracks everywhere. It’s probably just lost.’
Sorley glared at it. ‘I don’t like it.’
‘It won’t hurt you.’ I crouched down and released it. It ran straight back to him, leaping up at his leg once more. I laughed. It wrapped one of its three legs round Sorley’s ankle and nuzzled him. He tried to shake it off. ‘Vermin!’
‘It’s not doing any harm.’
‘How do you know? You should be wary of anything linked to the Sidhe.’ He shook his head vehemently. ‘Giving life to a ... a ... thing like that is not natural.’
‘I think it likes you.’
Speck nodded. ‘Looks like love to me.’
Sorley shuddered. He started to bend down but the haggis suddenly let out a loud yip and yanked itself away, disappearing into the night just as a set of headlights appeared in the distance. Whoever was out there was heading directly for us.
‘We’re not ready! The ground needs to be re-consecrated. The border isn’t in place.’ Sorley flung out his words. ‘Get to your places!’
Lexie scratched her head. ‘What places?’
He started stamping out the small fire. ‘Like a bloody beacon,’ he muttered. He slapped himself around the face. ‘Idiot.’
‘If it was someone dangerous,’ I pointed out, ‘they would have kept their lights off.’
‘It could be a diversion. There could be others coming from different directions.’
I watched the vehicle approach. ‘Nah. Don’t forget I’m expecting a visitor.’
Lexie twirled a blue curl in delight. ‘You think it’s...?’
I smiled. A couple of butterflies made their presence known to my stomach. ‘Yes.’
We turned and watched as the vehicle pulled to halt about fifty feet away. The engine and lights were turned off and the door opened. Sorley tensed but I put my hand on his arm. ‘It’s alright. Really.’
Despite my words of reassurance, I was still relieved when the figure silhouetted against the moon was unmistakably Byron’s. My eyes travelled across his broad shoulders. His hair was edged in silver from the moonlight, although his face remained shadowed.
‘I don’t get it,’ Speck muttered. ‘I know you like Byron Moncrieffe but his father is our mortal enemy.’
Sorley drew himself up. ‘Moncrieffe?’
‘It’s alright,’ I soothed. ‘He’s not like his father. And I told you he might be coming.’
The troll threw me a suspicious look but he didn’t rush Byron and try to stab him in the chest or cut out his heart, so I felt things weren’t going too badly.
‘Sorley,’ Lexie said patiently, ‘Byron likes our Tegs too.’
He was still confused. ‘But the Steward...’
‘Aifric’s trying to kill me,’ I pointed out, ‘but Byron still thinks the sun shines out of his arse. Either he’ll avoid another assassination attempt while his son is here and we’re all safe or...’
‘Or he’ll try again and Byron will finally see the truth.’ Lexie nodded. ‘Of course, it helps that you like him. A lot.’
Brochan growled under his breath.
I shrugged. ‘He’s a good guy.’
Lexie smirked and shook her blue hair. ‘Sure.’ She winked. ‘You still should have asked for Jamie, though. Nothing works better than a bit of old-fashioned jealousy.’
‘Are girls always so manipulative?’ Speck asked plaintively, appealing to Taylor.
‘Apparently so,’ I muttered, as Byron walked round the car, opened the passenger door and another figure appeared. ‘Because Tipsania Scrymgeour has managed to invite herself along with him.’
Two other shapes extricated themselves from the back seat.
‘And,’ Brochan grimaced, ‘he’s brought back-up.’
T
he butterflies, which had been reaching a delicious crescendo, evaporated in an instant. Byron took Tipsania’s arm and the pair of them strolled towards us, flanked by their companions. As they drew closer, it was apparent that the back-up consisted of two trolls. I resisted the urge to shoot a questioning look at Sorley and forced myself to look relaxed. I’d brought this down on my own head and I could blame no one but myself. The least I could was to disguise my annoyance. Taylor had taught me well.
I waved enthusiastically. ‘Hello! Have you broken down? Do you need help?’
Something glinted deep in Byron’s eyes but Tipsania merely looked at me as if I was deranged. ‘No,’ she said flatly. Her gaze drifted to the still-smouldering embers of the fire. ‘Is this the best that the Adair Lands have to offer? A few sticks to rub together?’
I tried my best to smile. ‘You should have been here five minutes ago. The entertainment was ... ripe.’
‘And,’ Lexie butted in, ‘we had haggis.’
Tipsania recoiled. ‘I don’t like haggis. Sheep’s stomach and oatmeal? My tastes are more cultured.’
I battened down the urge to call the haggis back and order it to attack her. Instead I turned my attention to Byron. ‘So what can we do for you this evening?’
‘Don’t play coy, Integrity,’ he said. It was more of a purr than an accusation. Apparently Byron’s ego had been massaged by the fact I’d asked for him. Whether that was a good or a bad thing, I wasn’t entirely sure. ‘You know very well why we’re here.’
I tapped the corner of my mouth thoughtfully. ‘You’re delivering your wedding invitations by hand?’
Funnily enough, both their expressions soured. ‘No,’ Byron said, a muscle throbbing in his cheek. ‘I’m here as the designated hero.’ He placed emphasis on that last word. ‘Apparently you require help to travel beyond the Veil and retrieve the body of Matthew MacBain.’
I think I made a good show of frowning prettily. ‘Oh? But it’s scary and dangerous. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.’ Byron glowered at me. I shrugged. ‘Beggars can’t be choosers,’ I said cheerily. ‘I suppose you’ll do. Why don’t you come in and I’ll give you the grand tour? We can’t leave for the Veil just yet, no matter how keen you are to meet some Fomori demons.’
Sorley coughed. ‘If they must be permitted entrance, they cannot be left unattended at any time.’
I rubbed my chin as if thinking about it. ‘You’re right, Master Sorley,’ I said. I beamed at our new guests. ‘I’m sure you understand that we can’t take any chances.’
Byron shrugged, giving every impression that I could rip off my clothes and prostrate myself on the ground with legs spread for his personal delectation and he wouldn’t care. Tipsania, however, was less impressed. ‘What do you take us for?’ She waved an elegant hand around. ‘Do you think we’re likely to steal a piece of wood?’ She nudged one of the empty tins with her slippered toe. ‘Or a piece of your rubbish? We’re not thieves like you, you know.’
I reminded myself that I was a pacifist; throwing her in the dirt and rubbing her face in it would go against my beliefs. ‘Oh, Tipsy, you have no idea what delights await you inside. You might not be able to help yourself.’
Her lip curled. ‘I can hardly wait.’
I glanced around. ‘Brochan,’ I said, ‘you are not to leave darling Tipsania’s side.’
He bowed. I was so surprised – and amused – that I almost fell over. ‘My pleasure, Chieftain,’ he intoned.
I snuck a look at Tipsania. She was not happy at the deferential treatment Brochan was bestowing on me. Her mouth tightened and she folded her arms across her chest. Given that when we were kids, she’d treated me as little better than a slave and now I was Chieftain of my own Clan, she must be feeling put out at the way the tables had turned. I shrugged inwardly. She was on my turf now.
‘Speck,’ I said, pointing at the troll on the left, ‘take this one. Lexie,’ I added, gesturing to the other troll, ‘take that one.’
They aped Brochan’s movements, bowing so dramatically that at one stage I thought Speck would topple over, then flanked each of the burly guards. I noticed that the troll next to Lexie was staring hard at the hole in the ground where Sorley had discovered the remains of his kin. It wasn’t a friendly look.
‘Er, Chieftain,’ Sorley interrupted.
‘Yup?’ I coughed. ‘I mean, yes, Master Sorley?’
‘I can look after the trolls here.’
Byron stiffened but the expression on Sorley’s face was so earnest – and Speck looked so relieved – that I agreed. At least then he could explain that it wasn’t me who’d desecrated the bodies by dropping them here. ‘Very well.’
I went over to Byron’s parked car, reached for the keys and tossed them to Taylor. ‘It’s a pleasant night. Why don’t we walk up to the main house? Taylor will drive your car up.’
Tipsania glowered. ‘Who’s looking after Byron?’
‘Excuse me?’
‘If I’m to be guarded like some dirty Clan-less...’ Her voice faltered slightly at my look and she started again. ‘If I’m to be guarded and the trolls are to be guarded, why isn’t Byron going to be babysat as well?’
I smirked. ‘Oh don’t worry. He’s the Steward’s son so it’s only fitting that I take care of him personally.’
She looked like she’d swallowed a sour plum. Byron remained silent; whatever he was thinking, he was hiding it well. I skipped up to him and hooked my arm through his. I felt his bicep twitch almost imperceptibly but, other than that, he was motionless.
I raised an eyebrow at Tipsania. ‘Can you feel the air crackle?’
‘No,’ she snapped.
I pursed my lips. ‘Hm. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I probably wouldn’t get a reaction.’
Byron exhaled loudly, as if under great sufferance. ‘I’d tell you a joke about sodium but you probably wouldn’t get it.’
‘Try me,’ I said.
He gave me a long look. ‘Na.’
I grinned. ‘Does this mean we’re friends again?’
Something flashed in his eyes and his amusement vanished. ‘We were never friends, Integrity.’
True. I pulled my arm away from his, feeling more hurt than I had any right to. ‘Then you shouldn’t have come here.’ I marched away. He could follow me if he wanted to or he could stay here. His choice. I quashed down the relief I felt when I heard the crunch of his footsteps behind me.