Until You're Mine (32 page)

‘I don’t need your help,’ Grace said, still staring at the carpet. ‘There’s nothing to talk about.’

‘Is that boy pressuring you?’ Lorraine asked anxiously.

‘That boy,’ Grace replied, ‘has a name, you know. And no, Matt is not pressuring me. We both want to get married. We love each other.’

‘But what about university? What about getting a good job, having a decent life? You’re just a kid still.’ Lorraine had a sudden vision of her daughter, seventeen, pregnant and living in a council high-rise on the dole. Matt was nowhere to be seen, of course.

‘We understand how you feel,’ Adam said.

‘Well, I don’t, actually,’ Lorraine interrupted.

Grace took a deep breath. ‘I’m very aware that neither of you understand,’ she said quietly. ‘That’s why I’ve left home, to get away from you both. If I have to leave school and get a job to support myself, then I will do it. Matt and I are serious about getting married. His mum’s being brilliant.’

Lorrained flinched in pain. ‘You wanted to be a scientist,’ she said weakly.

‘We’re looking at wedding venues at the weekend,’ Grace said, as if she hadn’t even heard her mother.

‘And you were thinking of a gap year in the States.’

Grace slowly looked up at her mother, shaking her head, as if the last seventeen years had all been a hazy dream and none of this was true. ‘
You
wanted me to be a scientist,’ she corrected. ‘When you weren’t busy fighting with Dad, that is.’

Lorraine felt a slight wave of madness sweep through her. ‘Fine. Leave school. Go and live with another family – a better one, no doubt. Get married and have a dozen kids before you’re eighteen and work nights in a supermarket.’ She sensed she’d got her attention. ‘As of this moment, you’re free, Grace. Just think, no more Mum and Dad nagging at you, no more homework, no more ground rules. You’re on your own, my love, and you needn’t think you can come running back to us when you have no money.’

‘Dad doesn’t nag,’ Grace stated calmly. ‘But you do.’

‘Jesus!’ Lorraine put her hands to her face.

Adam shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. ‘Ray, don’t.’

‘I’m not finished yet—’

‘It’s OK, Grace,’ Adam said. ‘If you’ve thought about this long and hard and it’s really what you want . . .’ He trailed off unconvincingly. ‘We just don’t want you to rush into anything.’

‘You’re still a
kid
,’ Lorraine said in a final attempt to change her daughter’s mind. ‘You can’t possibly get married. You have absolutely no idea what it means.’

‘At least I’ll have someone who loves me,’ Grace responded, so quietly Lorraine thought she’d misheard. ‘Because neither of you two do.’

‘Oh darling, that’s just not true and you know it.’ Adam leant towards her, taking her hands. ‘How can you say such a thing? Your mum and I both love you very much.’

She replied with a slow shake of her head, as if even that hurt too much. A single tear left her eye.

‘Of
course
we love you,’ Lorraine reiterated, shocked to the core by what Grace had said. ‘Why on earth would you think we didn’t?’

‘Because you don’t even love each other,’ was Grace’s meek reply.

It made Adam recoil. A quick glance snagged between him and Lorraine.

‘Yes, we most certainly do,’ he said indignantly.

His duplicity was obvious, Lorraine thought. How could they have been so naive to think that their problems, swept conveniently into a dark corner of their minds, had not affected their daughters?

‘Stella thinks the same,’ Grace added, beginning the foot-tapping again. ‘You’re always arguing and whispering and fighting about stuff. You think we don’t hear but we do. Stella cries at night sometimes.’

‘Of course Dad and I love each other, darling,’ Lorraine said, noticing Adam’s head drop a little. ‘We have a lot of stress at work and maybe we bring it home, which is wrong, but we do . . . love each other.’ Across the cushions, she took Adam’s hand, forcing her fingers into his.

The one and only time they’d seen a marriage counsellor had ended similarly, when the woman had asked Lorraine to touch Adam, to see how it made her feel. At the time, she could have answered that without moving a muscle:
sick
. ‘Touch?’ she’d asked incredulously. A sharp pinch or a sly kick was what she’d felt like giving him, but instead she’d gone along with it. She’d reluctantly held Adam’s hand.

‘How does it
feel
?’ the therapist had asked.

‘Warm?’ Lorraine had suggested.

‘Warm,’ the therapist had replied. ‘That’s good. Perhaps it feels as if he’s alive, as if he’s like you, as if his veins are filled with emotion and love.’

‘Oh for fuck’s sake,’ Lorraine remembered saying. She’d whipped her hand away. ‘He’s warm all right. Warm-blooded and male and he can’t keep it in his pants.’ Now, sitting opposite Grace, Lorraine could almost hear the exasperated sigh Adam had let out during the counselling session. ‘It wasn’t like that,’ he’d said, yet again defending his behaviour.

The meeting had been drawing to a close, and Lorraine was furious. The stupid therapist was obviously on Adam’s side – perhaps she was also an Other Woman and her priorities were different to hers. Either way, she wasn’t about to be patronised and ridiculed by a stranger. And neither was she going to pay to hold her husband’s hand after he’d admitted to a one-night stand. She’d already agreed to rein in her feelings and keep things together for the children, though as things stood she hadn’t been entirely sure how long that would last.

Lorraine felt Adam’s fingers close on hers. ‘All we’re trying to do is help you see the sensible path, Grace. Getting married at your age would be a disaster. This time last week we were chatting about university.’

Grace stood up, smoothing down her top. Lorraine noticed how clean and well ironed it looked. Matt’s mother clearly had too much time on her hands. ‘Mum, Dad, my mind’s made up. I’m leaving school and getting married. I hope you’ll come to our wedding.’ She turned and calmly left the room.

*

‘I thought that went well,’ Adam said sarcastically. They’d retreated to the kitchen, having sat in stunned silence following Grace’s departure once she’d collected her things. Matt had been waiting outside in his car. Neither of them had known what to do or say.

Lorraine sighed and dialled into her messages. She raised a finger at Adam to get his attention. She listened, then tucked her phone back into her trouser pocket. ‘It was Carla Davis’s doctor at the hospital finally following up. He’s been unreachable all day so I left a message with his secretary. I must have missed his call while we were talking to Grace.’

‘Go on.’ Adam filled the kettle.

‘Apparently, Carla’s kidneys had been badly damaged by her long-term drug use. She was advised at the start of her pregnancy that carrying her baby full term could quite possibly lead to her own death either before or after the baby’s birth.’

Lorraine paused to absorb this conflict-ridden dilemma. How was someone so ill-equipped emotionally as Carla supposed to make a life-changing decision like that?

‘Put simply, she was risking her own life by carrying the baby full term. She was advised to have an early termination and, initially, she agreed. Then she changed her mind. Dr Farrow wasn’t Carla’s doctor at the time, but her records show that she was made to think very seriously about the health implications of continuing with the pregnancy. It was literally a life-and-death decision.’

Adam frowned. ‘The health implications of this pregnancy weren’t so good for her anyway, as it turned out,’ he said rather humourlessly.

‘So why did she change her mind? Did someone talk her round against medical advice?’

‘Maybe her social workers can throw some light on it,’ Adam said after a moment’s pause. ‘Carla might have confided in them.’

‘You think we should talk to them again?’

Adam was already nodding. He glanced at his watch.

‘You’re not serious?’ Lorraine said grimly. She was exhausted. ‘Tonight?’

‘I think we should. There’s something I want to . . .’ He hesitated. ‘It’s probably nothing.’

‘But their offices will be closed . . .’ Lorraine trailed off, knowing better than to question Adam when he had one of his gut feelings. In the past, things he’d noticed and kept to himself had, once or twice, turned into major leads. He might have made a serious error of judgement in their personal life, but this was work, this was him doing his job, and he was good at it – infuriatingly so at times. She would go along with him, see what transpired. After all, he was in charge.

He reached for his car keys. ‘I’m going to pay that social worker another home visit, which’ll give us an excuse to find out about this Heather Paige woman, see where she fits in.’ They’d already called round earlier in the day to follow up on Cecelia’s story but the house had been empty. ‘Coming?’

Lorraine reluctantly trailed him to the front door. She called out to Stella that they’d be back in an hour and received a vague grumble in reply. She and Adam exchanged glances at the bottom of the stairs before Adam took her by the hand and led her out to his car.

As she fastened her seatbelt, her fingers still tingling from the contact, Lorraine realised that was the second time she’d touched her husband’s hand that day.

THE HOUSE WAS
unlit at the front and the driveway was darker than the surrounding street, almost as if the property was trying to shrink back and appear inconspicuous – that’s what Lorraine thought, anyway, as they crunched across the gravel to the impressive entrance for the second time that day.

‘I hope she doesn’t mind,’ Lorraine said. ‘She’s not far off having her baby. She might want an early night.’ She took a moment to study each curtained window. There was actually a faint glow that she’d not noticed at first glance coming from a ground-floor room. Someone was still up.

Adam gave her a look that instructed her to switch from concerned woman back to detective. He rapped loudly on the door.

A moment later, Claudia Morgan-Brown opened the door. She looked shocked to see them.

‘Everything’s fine,’ Lorraine began with a comforting smile, remembering her previous anxiety. ‘We’re very sorry to disturb you during the evening but there are some further questions we’d like to ask you about Carla Davis.’

‘Oh,’ she said quietly. ‘Of course.’ She stepped aside and beckoned them in. She looked tired, Lorraine thought as they followed her into the sitting room. ‘Please, sit down.’ The television was on quietly and Claudia flicked it off with the remote control. ‘I must have dozed off.’

‘We’ll be as quick as we can.’ Lorraine gave Adam a pained look but he failed to notice. She didn’t see why the visit couldn’t have waited until tomorrow. She doubted they’d learn anything case-changing.

‘Can I get you some tea?’ Claudia asked, still standing. She pulled back her thick hair into a temporary ponytail before allowing it to fall around her shoulders again. She was pretty, Lorraine thought, for a woman who was clearly very tired.

Lorraine smiled. ‘No, we’re fine, thanks.’ She glanced around the room and noticed a few forgotten toys by the window – some Lego, a couple of plastic trucks, a picture book lying open. She assumed Claudia’s sons were already in bed. She wondered where the nanny was.

‘We wanted to ask if you, or anyone in your department, knew anything about Carla’s health problems,’ Adam said.

Claudia frowned and thought. She sat down and drummed her fingers on the side of her neck. ‘She wasn’t in the best of health, as I recall,’ she said. ‘The drugs had already taken their toll on her body, even at her young age. But as I said before, it wasn’t me who was in charge of the case when Carla’s unborn baby first came onto our radar.’

‘But you met with Carla?’

‘Oh yes,’ Claudia replied. ‘I told you that. I encountered her on a number of occasions.’

‘Were you aware just how serious her health problems were?’

Claudia frowned. ‘No, I didn’t know about any specific issues apart from her addictions.’

‘So you weren’t aware of her poor kidney function?’

Claudia’s eyes grew large and she bit on her bottom lip. When she released it, blood flushed beneath the skin. ‘No. What was wrong with her kidneys?’

‘Because of her prolonged drug use, Carla was advised that continuing her pregnancy could likely cause her death either before the baby was born or soon after. Her kidneys just weren’t up to the job.’ That was as medically detailed as Adam was able to be, given that neither of them knew the specifics of the condition.

‘So that’s why she was originally booked in for a termination?’ Claudia seemed surprised.

‘Exactly,’ Adam said. ‘Although for some reason Carla later changed her mind. We wondered if you had any idea why she might have made such a life-threatening decision.’

Claudia hung her head. After a few moments, she cupped her face in her hands. Lorraine saw the small quiver in her arms as they supported the weight of her head – the weight of guilt, she wondered?

‘What is it, love?’ Lorraine was aware of Adam’s foot tapping against the leg of the coffee table and it made her think of Grace.

‘It was me,’ Claudia whispered without hesitation. She let out a couple of pathetic sobs before lifting her face to them. It was spread with blame and her cheeks were burning red. ‘But I swear I had no idea how serious her health problems were. I thought I was doing the right thing.’

‘Calm down,’ Adam said rather coldly. ‘No one’s accusing you. Just take it steady and tell us what happened.’

Lorraine sensed Adam’s disappointment. That it was simply a professional worker who had, rightly or wrongly, advised Carla to keep her baby wasn’t of any great significance. It wasn’t going to provide the lead he’d been hoping for or, indeed, a link to the Sally-Ann case.

Claudia gulped for air. Lorraine wasn’t sure that pursuing this was in her best interests, given the circumstances. She watched the woman’s frown grow deeper as she tracked back over events.

‘Carla had an appointment with Tina about six months ago but Tina was off sick so I met with Carla instead. I went to her flat.’