Until You (Fall Away Series) (36 page)

“And the lantern on your arm?” she pressed further, and I laughed.

“Oh, you ask too many questions.”

But she just continued to stare at me, mentally tapping her foot.

Alright, dammit.

“The lantern is you, Tate. The light.” Her dancing in her light purple nightgown with white stars on it when she was eleven flashed through my mind. “I got it after I got in trouble last year. I needed to clean up my act, and my mom decided to do the same thing with her drinking. We both picked one thought that would get us through the day. A dream or a desire…” I’d never asked my mom about her dream or desire.

“Me?” She pinched her eyebrows together, looking surprised.

“It’s always been you.” I repeated her same words. “I love you, Tate.”

She smiled, bringing her lips to mine. “I love you, too,” she whispered, and the tickle across my mouth was like a fire over my body.

Jesus Christ.

My fingers dug into her, but it was her hands that owned me. She ran her hands up my arms before threading one hand through my hair.

She pulled away and then came back in to tease me again and again: flicking her tongue under my top lip and catching my bottom lip between her teeth. The tiny nibbles had tingles electrifying my groin, and my stomach damn near growled with hunger.

Fuck.
I didn’t know whether I wanted to fuck her or eat her.

“Unzip me,” she forced out between kisses along my jaw.

Don’t do this now
,
I begged silently.

“Let’s just get out of here,” I suggested. “I’m in the mood for more than a quickie.”

“Well, I’ve never had a quickie,” she taunted. “Unzip me.”

I sucked in a breath, throbbing in my pants and too ready for her.

As soon as I’d undone her dress, which fell down and sat at her waist, we were both at the point of no return.

“Where’d my good girl go?” I teased, but I loved it.

Bad only for me.

She was a drug, and I was higher than a kite. In no time at all, my hands were all over her smooth, heavenly back, and my lips were buried in her warm neck.

Her urgent fingers worked my tie and the buttons of my shirt, and I cupped her breasts, eating up every little moan and gasp that came out of her mouth. She was so sensitive on her chest. I circled one arm behind her back and ran the other hand up and down one of her breasts, feeling her nipple get harder every time I trailed across it.

“Jared,” she whispered, wrapping an arm around my neck and kissing me. “I really am a good girl, but tonight I want to be really, really bad.”

Goddamn.
She was killing me, and I swear every time our lips came together, I was about to explode. I couldn’t wait until we got home.

Fuck it.

I ripped open my shirt, a few buttons flying off in the process, while I watched, half-dazed, as she peeled off the rest of her clothes, leaving only her nude-colored high heels on.

Wow.

My heart raced, my mouth went dry, and my breathing sped up. All of my blood rushed south, and I was harder than a fucking brick. I was definitely in a lot more pain than I’d ever been before.

I needed to get inside of her.

“Fuck, Tate.” I caressed as much of her as I could reach and kissed her hard. Tightening every muscle in my body, I had to force myself not to throw her on the goddamn bed. “I’m sorry. I want to go slow with you. It’s just so hard. Do you think in ten years I’ll finally get to where I’ll actually need foreplay to get hard with you?”

She stood there, brave and bold, knowing she had me under her thumb.

I took a condom out of my pocket, placed it on the nightstand and peeled off the rest of my clothes, sighing in relief when my dick sprang free.

Picturing what I wanted to do to Tate wasn’t nearly as painful as seeing her look at me. She looked down my body, almost like she wanted to take the time to study it or something. Reaching out her hand, I nearly jumped when she started stroking me.

I exhaled hard in short, heavy breaths.

This was something she hadn’t really done yet. Explored my body like this.

Her eyes seemed amazed and curious, and I didn’t want to miss this for anything. She watched me respond to her, how I grew and jerked at her soft but strong touch, and I didn’t think I could be on fire any more than I was.

Shit, baby. Now, now, now…

I couldn’t fucking take it anymore. It could’ve been the heels, her body, or the way she blew my mind just being herself, but I was done for.

Grabbing the condom, I tore open the wrapper and slipped the sucker on, not taking an eye off of her.

Pulling her close, I crushed her body with mine, feeling her hot, naked skin melting into mine.

She broke contact and whispered in my ear. “My turn.”

What?

My eyes widened, not sure what she meant until she pushed my back on the bed and came down to straddle on top of me.

My dick was pressed to her warm, wet opening, and I squeezed her hips, almost growling.

“You’re perfect. Perfect for me,” I said, feeling the soft, sexy skin in my hands.

Goddammit, I needed her. Now.

Her blonde hair spilled around her, and she was an animal, looking at me like she knew exactly how to kill me.

Lifting up, she slowly came down as I guided my cock inside of her. She was so small that we needed help, and I had no problem with that.

Pleasure swept over me like a wave of heat as I laid back and felt her warmth coat me. I put a hand on her breast and another on her hip, touching and guiding.

“Tell me you like it, Tate.” I had to know that she loved this. That she was going to come back for more.

That she was my girlfriend.

I never wanted to give anyone that title, because I thought I wouldn’t be able to make the commitment.

That wasn’t it.

I already had a girlfriend. All along, even though we were enemies, no one could take Tate’s place.

Tell me, baby. Say it.

“I…” she gasped as she moved her hips in a wild, you-better-do-that-all-damn-night motion that had me breathing hard.

I jerked my hips up, pushing deeper inside of her. “Say it.”

Her eyebrows pinched together in the good kind of pain as she stumbled over the words. “I love it.” She smiled. “I love it with you.”

I shot up and wrapped my arms around her back and buried my face in her chest, taking a firm breast in my mouth.

“You taste like candy,” I whispered against her skin as I dragged out a nipple between my teeth. “You’re not getting any fucking sleep tonight, Tatum Brandt. You know that, right?”

“Do you?” she shot back, taking my face in her hands.

Such a handful.

“There’s something I didn’t tell you last week when…when we were in your room.”

We laid underneath the covers, naked and happily exhausted, staring up at the ceiling.

I caressed her arm as she rested her head under my chin.

I didn’t want to disturb this perfect calm, but it was time.

Telling the truth is like lying. Once you do it, it becomes easier.

“What?” Her voice was raspy, and I didn’t know if it was a lion ripping at my stomach or a rhino stomping around my chest, but I was nervous.

“I left my brother at my dad’s house. I ran out of there without him,” I confessed.

She arched her neck back to peer up at me. “Jared, I know. You told me that part. That you tried to get him to leave, but he wouldn’t.”

I nodded. “I didn’t tell you everything, though. The day I ran out, my father had forced me into the basement to help my brother. With what, I didn’t know, but when I got down there, I saw…” The bile started forcing its way up my throat, so I concentrated on my breathing. “I saw my dad’s girlfriend and his friend dead on the basement floor.”

She popped up and stared down at me with pinched eyebrows. “Dead?”

“Come back here.” I pulled her back down, but she propped up her arm in the bed and rested her head on her balled up fist instead.

I guess she wanted eye contact.

“Yeah, as far as I could tell with the fucking distance I kept. Jax was sitting against the far wall, holding his knees against his chest and staring at nothing. He didn’t look scared or angry, just like he was a little confused or something.” I narrowed my eyes, trying to imagine what could have been going through his head.

“How do you know they were dead?” she asked softly and swallowed.

“There was blood. They weren’t moving.” I shook the images from my head. “Anyway, I couldn’t get Jax to wake up, so to speak. He just sat there and would only say that he was fine, and that we had to clean up the mess. It was like he didn’t even know it was me in the room.”

Tate looked at me, concern in her eyes, and I hoped she understood.

“You feel guilty.” She figured me out.

“Yeah,” I admitted. “It was unbearable, being in that house. Being in that basement. Why wouldn’t he come with me?” I asked more to myself than Tate.

“Have you asked him?”

“Once.” I caressed her hair. “He doesn’t remember, he says.”

“What do you think happened down there?” She asked the question I’d been asking myself for years. My father wasn’t arrested for murder. I don’t even know if the police found bodies when I got home and reported my brother’s abuse.

I thought for a minute, afraid to admit out loud what I knew was ridiculous to suspect.

“I think two lowlifes got exactly what they deserved.”

“Are you sore at all?” I whispered into her hair as we walked into school Monday morning.

Her breathing hitched, and I could hear the smile in her voice. “A little.”

“Good,” I mumbled and hooked my arm around her neck, pulling her in.

I’d taken her back to her house on Saturday night, after Homecoming, and punished her for keeping me at arm’s length all damn week by keeping her up all damn night.

After spending Sunday with my brother and not being able to talk to Tate—because I’d stupidly left my phone at the Beckman party, and it was stolen—I’d crept into her room last night and fallen asleep with her in my arms.

But I woke her up early. We were both half asleep, but it was still hot.

She rolled her eyes at me. “You’re such an ego-maniac,” she complained.

I looked down at her, grinning. “And you love it.”

“Do not,” she pouted, and I put my lips to her forehead.

Yes, you do.

I sighed. “Then I’ll change,” I promised.

“Damn right you will.”

She stopped at her locker, but I stayed behind her, holding her hips. I was becoming a big-pile-of-whipped, but I couldn’t
not
touch her when she was close.

People had been looking at us during the past week. Used to seeing us as enemies and me never with my hands on a girl in public, they seemed pretty confused.

But instead of shying away and putting on my tough guy face, I gave them all the middle finger.

Well, figuratively.

Looking down the row, I saw Piper and Nate with their heads together, and then they turned to eyeball me.

My stomach rolled, not because I couldn’t handle either of them, but I didn’t want Tate to even register their presence.

She was going to be happy…or else.

Nate looked amused, even with the remnants of the black eye I’d given him weeks ago, while Piper scrunched up her lips like she was disgusted. Her eyes were angry, though, and unease nestled into the back of my brain.

Great.

I was sure I’d be in for a confrontation before the end of the day.

“Alright.” Tate turned around and hugged her books. “I’m off. Are you walking me?”

“No, I have to get my ass to the counselor’s office, actually.”

Saying the word
counselor
had me wanting to upchuck, but it was required for all Seniors.

“Ah, the what-are-your-future-plans? talk ,” she teased while nodding her head.

I almost let out a laugh with the way my heart jumped. “The only future plans I have are taking you to see a concert over Thanksgiving,” I said quietly as I pulled two tickets out of my pocket.

“Oh!” Her eyes widened, and she snatched the tickets out of my hand. “You didn’t! Avenged Sevenfold!”