Until I Die Again [On The Way To Heaven] (Soul Change Novel) (24 page)

She kept walking south, eventually coming upon a large outcropping of black rocks that reached about twenty yards into the sea. She picked her way across the rocks and settled on a shelf at the far edge where she watched the last rays of orange turn grey.

Absorbed in thoughts of self-pity and her future, time drifted as fast as the puffy white clouds. A tiny sliver of moon perched above the far side of the island, and night clouds masked the stars. When she turned to climb down from the rocks, her heart stopped for a moment.

She could see nothing of the sharp rocks and crevices that led the way back to the soundness of the beach. The rocks could have been transformed into a huge, black pit to capture unwary souls. Sparks of light flashed in the water. Phosphorescence, Jamie had told her when she’d remarked on it once. Unfortunately, not light enough.

She turned to the water in front of her and considered jumping down and swimming to shore. The sound of darkness lapping against rocks gave no clue as to what lay just beneath the surface. She imagined jumping down onto a cluster of rocks below, lying there cut and broken for days.

She shivered, staring into the bleakness that must be the island. In the distance, grey smoke drifted up toward the clouds to meld and blend. Dots of light twinkled behind the movement of palm fronds in the breeze. She wasn’t sure if she imagined the note of music that danced from the distance every now and then, or the sound of a voice that floated on the wind. She stared into the gloom. Yes, it was a sound.

“Help! Is anyone there? I’m stuck out here!”

At first she heard nothing and felt the despair settle into her bones. Then she heard a voice.

“
Hallie
?”

No, not Jamie. Anyone but Jamie. She could stay there and not answer, let him think he’d imagined the cry for help. Humiliation or a night spent on the hard rock with only a towel for a pillow?

“No,” she said in a low voice. “I’m some woman you don’t know.”

“Hallie, I know it’s you. What are you doing out there?”

She took a quick breath, returning to her normal voice. “I can’t find my way back.”

She heard him wading toward her through water that looked like motor oil. Picturing again the rocks hidden below the surface, she worried that he might lose his footing and hit his head on a rock. Would she be able to find him without killing herself in the process?

“Be careful,” she said, trying to make her voice seem less concerned than she felt.

“I know these rocks like I know every inch of Caterina. Here, take my hand. If you jump down right in front of me, you won’t hit anything.”

With her back to him, she lowered herself off the side of the rock as far as she could before letting go.

His hands gripped her sides when he caught her just before her feet felt the sandy bottom.

“I presume you know your way back as well?”

“Of course. Grab onto the belt loops of my jeans and follow me.”

She wanted to wrap her arms around him. She wanted to slug him. Instead, she slipped her fingers through his loops and followed in his footsteps. Her thighs brushed against the back of his legs. The splish-splash of wavelets echoed softly against the rocks to their right.

She breathed in the scent of his spicy cologne, then wondered if he’d put it on for Renee. Or after Renee, to hide the scent of sex. Her anger blended in with the blackness and made the warm night air seem hot and prickly.

The height of the water lowered and the feel of shells beneath her bare feet told her they were nearing the shore. That’s when she yanked the loop back and moved out of the way while Jamie fell backward into the water.

“What the—”
Splash
!

Before he could even sputter, she started kicking water at him, sending spray after spray into his face.

“You son of a bitch! How could you sleep with that
 
… that witch with a capital B? If you want to carry on like that, just tell me to g—aah!”

Her feet were pulled out from under her, and she could do nothing to keep from falling backwards into the water. She hit the water with a loud
smack
but got up punching.

“Hey, hey!” Jamie grabbed her fist and held her arms away from his chest. “Have you lost your mind?”

No, I’ve lost my heart, dammit!
Adrenaline sailed through her body. She could barely see his silhouette. Their heavy breathing and dripping water were the only sounds for a moment. She wriggled to free her arms, but he held them fast.

“Now will you tell me what that was all about? I expected nothing more than a quick thank you for saving you a night out there on the ledge, but your gratitude is overwhelming me.”

“Sure, you saved me from a night out here just so you can kick me out tomorrow and move that slutpuppy in.”

He laughed, and that infuriated her even more. Another wriggle of her arms proved fruitless.

“I presume you’re talking about Renee when you say—what was it that you said? Slutpuppy?” He yanked her closer, holding her arms behind his back. “Renee isn’t a slutpuppy.”

He was defending her. Figured. Hallie again tried to break free from his grip, but he only pulled her closer against his chest.

“The heck she isn’t. I saw who kissed who. And who kissed back.”

“You saw us on the beach?”

After being caught in the act, he could act so calm? That ignited her anger even more.

“Yes, I was out here swimming, so don’t you dare deny kissing her.”

“I won’t deny it; I did kiss her. But before you drown me, let me clarify what you saw. You saw a kiss like this.”

He leaned down and placed his lips against hers for a long moment. She wanted to move away, wanted so badly to turn her head away. Her lips wouldn’t cooperate. Obviously not every fiber of her body was mad at him. After a moment, he removed his lips, and dammit, she didn’t want him to.

“Now,” he continued in his diplomatic tone of voice. “What you
thought
you saw was this.”

Again, he pulled her closer and started kissing her, but this time his tongue parted her all-too-willing lips and roamed wildly through her mouth, leaving a salty trail. His fingers moved through her wet hair, and she suppressed a pleasurable sound. She dredged up her anger again, and it wasn’t easy to do with most of her body sagging into his arms. When he pulled back, he still held her arms.

“Are you straight now on what you saw? I can go over the two again if you’d like.”

She pushed him away, feeling the heat on her cheeks overpower the warmth still lingering on her lips.

“It sure looked like the second kind of kiss from here.”

Jamie looked back, as if judging the distance. “You were quite far away, so I can see how you’d get the two confused. I definitely need to go over the two again.”

She tried to hold him back, but her hands didn’t act like the stiff barriers she wanted them to. Instead, they became pinned against his chest. He pulled her tight against him, his wet body molded against hers. His lips captured hers but held stationary.

“Not very exciting, was it?” he said when it was over.

Exciting enough, she thought derisively. Before she could remark on what that kiss might do to someone like Renee, he shifted her so that her hands were freed. Of their own will, they slipped to rest on his back.

“Now pay close attention, Hallie. I don’t want there to be any misunderstanding about this. If I’d
wanted
to kiss Renee back, it would have gone something like this.”

Gathering her face in his strong fingers, he angled her mouth up and slightly off center before closing the distance between her trembling lips and his. He started slowly, kissing again and again before slipping that wild tongue into her much-too-willing mouth. His fingers tightened against her cheeks, and her own hands pressed harder against him in response. She couldn’t breathe but decided that some things were more important than sustaining life functions. Her heart thundered as anger ebbed to be replaced by something more dangerous.

She pulled the fury back, kissing him fiercely and hoping he felt as devastated as she did. For several long, long minutes he gave and demanded ever more. When he stopped, his breath came deeper. He still held her face in his grasp, looming nose to nose with her for several seconds before moving away.

His voice sounded so irritatingly normal when he asked, “Have it straight now?”

Did it not affect him at all? He could kiss her so that the phosphorescence sparking at her feet seemed dull compared to the way she felt inside, and he could act so bloody normal. He was playing with her.

“Does Renee?”

He laughed again, but the softness was gone from his voice. “You’re a fine one to toss accusations.”

“I’ll say whatever I want to. We’re playing on new ground, Jamie. I have not kissed one single man, besides you, since I got here. I mean, since I came out of the coma. You go ahead and judge me on my past and justify your actions, if that makes you feel better.”

She tore away from him and down the beach toward the glitter of lights in the distance. Jealousy, betrayal, and anger raged through her as the mental picture of Jamie and Renee kissing played viciously in her mind over and over. She wrapped her arms around herself as she turned and followed the tiny lights that led the way down the path.

By the time she reached the house, her anger had waned to confusion. She came to a stop in the sandy path and soft glow of lights. The mental picture faded to black, and she felt again his arms pulling her close, his lips kissing hers. Jamie had kissed her four times. She had been so befuddled by jealousy and desire that she’d missed the point. Was he saying that he had not kissed Renee the way he kissed her the second and fourth time?
If I had wanted to kiss Renee
, he had said, and kissed her silly. Had he
wanted
to kiss her? Maybe Hallie had no right to doubt him, but Chris sure did. Her fingers moved to her lips, still burning from his kisses. She wondered if he would come home tonight. No, she hoped he would come home tonight.

CHAPTER 13

Jamie hadn’t gone home that night or the next. Their encounter in the darkness nagged at him. The taste of her lips, the feel of her wet body against his…her anger over his and Renee’s kiss. This was a whole new, or should he say, yet another new side to Hallie since her stroke. Most of the time she had been too wrapped up in herself and her problems to give much notice to the attention women paid him. Not that she ever had to worry. Now, she was obsessed with Renee and his alleged attraction to her. He smiled. No one could wow him more than his wife could.

Two nights away from Hallie had left him wanting. To his chagrin, he had missed her, had missed waking up to study her in the morning. He was scheduled to take out a couple of regulars on a small charter fishing boat that afternoon. One of them had called in hung-over and canceled.

Inviting Hallie would be a step toward peace, and it would be safe. No serious talks, no chance for desire to take hold. He sent an employee to give her a message and was surprised to find her at the docks twelve minutes later. Wearing one of his cotton shirts for a cover up and her hair in a ponytail, she looked like a teenager.

“How are you doing?” he asked after taking her bag.

She took a shallow breath. “I’m okay. George keeps me company.”

“And the lizard?”

“The…” She smiled in an embarrassed way. “You know about Greenpeace?”

“I saw you talking to him one morning.”

“Oh. Well, I’ll talk to just about anything when I’m lonely. I started talking to the couch last night.”

“I’ll only worry if you heard it answer.”

“Not yet.”

Forty-five minutes later the boat neared the reef where the water went from twelve to sixty feet deep, and where schools of wahoo and yellowyellow fin tuna regularly hung out.

He watched Hallie lean over the edge of the boat more than the fish finder, but he’d been there so many times he was sure the fish were nearby. In the crystal clear water, they weren’t hard to find with the naked eye. His gaze followed hers to the twelve round boulder shapes beneath the water. Then he realized they were moving. Stingrays.

“Co-o-ol!” she said in that odd way of hers.

Before he could tell her what they were, she grabbed some cut bait, stepped up on the side of the boat and dove into the water—right toward the stingrays.

“Watch the boat, John,” he called to one of the men aboard as he stripped his shirt and dove in after her. What could she be thinking?

When he reached her several yards away, one of the rays was already upon her, and three more were heading her way. Ready to fight them off, he lifted his arm to pull her behind him. She turned to him with a glow he had not seen since their kiss a week before.

“Isn’t this great?”

“What in God’s name are you doing out here?”

She took his hand in hers and shoved a piece of fish into it, pressing it closed again. “Here, feed a stingray.”

He lifted his hand out of the water and looked at the fish as if it could explain her bizarre behavior. “You are loony tunes, Hallie.”

“I am not!” She took a deep breath and continued. “Here, let me show you how to feed them. Keep your fist clenched until the ray is close, then flatten it out so it can take the food.” As if in answer to his stupefied expression, she explained, “They don’t have teeth; they use their mouths to find the food and suck it in. Watch.”

He watched as she held her fist out, and a ray three feet in diameter glided like a great bird through the water toward her. The mass of it nearly obliterated her entire body.

“It feels so weird!” she said with a giggle. “Okay, now it’s your turn.” She nodded toward another large ray heading over to investigate.

“What about their stingers?”

“They won’t sting unless they feel threatened.”

“Well, I’m certainly not going to threaten them. Not one unkind word.”

She giggled. As she instructed, he flattened his palm and the velvety underside of the ray glided over his bare shoulder and down his arm as the mouth gently sucked in its search for food. When it found the morsel, his palm was pulled up, then released as the ray took the food and drifted away. He smiled, and she handed him another piece of fish.