Unspoken Memories (Unspoken Series) (22 page)

Paul purses his lips again and considers my request. “Fine,
we’ll keep in touch with your PA here and look forward to seeing you next
month,” he says, standing up and holding out his hand for me to shake again.

Wondering if I’m doing the right thing, I shake his hand and
leave the rest of the details to be arranged between Matt and himself. I walk
over to Julio wondering what the hell I just got myself into.

“You up for the task?” I ask, tilting my head to the side,
joking at him.

His only response is a chuckle, as he lets his body relax
and says, “Piece of cake. I don’t know how you did it without me at the first
two.”

I consider his meaning, as I look back at Paul and Matt. “People
weren’t expecting me to be at the other races. In a nervous crowd of runners, I
knew I didn’t have to worry about anything,” I say to him. “This one, I have a
bad feeling it’s going to be known that I’m there. So I’m scared shitless about
it and it has nothing to do with the race. If it’s as popular as Matt says,
then I’m really going to need you.”

He nods his head in understanding and I stand there with him
as I watch Paul walk out the front door.

AS THE DAYS that count down to San
Francisco, Matt lays out a training schedule for me. When I look at it, I start
to hyperventilate a little. All the other races I just showed up without any
expectations, the only thing I had to do was make sure I finished. This time I
had a different goal to accomplish. Qualify for Boston.

“Since I’ve started the season I can’t really train with you
as much as I would have before. I’m going to have too many practices and away
games this month, so I’ve spoken to Julio and he’s agreed to go with you on your
long runs. I can still go with you on the shorter ones,” he tells me as he’s
entering the schedule into the calendar of my phone.

This saddens me, although Julio is a great runner, I always
looked forward to running with Matt. It was our special time alone. At least
before the shit hit the fan.

As he’s still opening and closing dates on my phone he says,
“A running company contacted me yesterday and they want you to do a photo shoot
for them.” As I’m about to protest, he says, “They won’t pay you for it, but
they are willing to provide you with training gear to wear during the race. I
only agreed because hopefully this will start opening doors for you again,
Abigail. You’re a model and since you’re no longer under Bill’s control you
should start doing it again. Maybe you’ll like doing fitness modeling instead.”

I sit there in silence and think about what he’s just said.
He’s right, I’ve been sitting on my ass for the last couple of months in fear
of Bill finding me, and when he did, look what happened. I couldn’t live my
life hiding behind the walls of this house. I had to live my life again.

My contract with Bill was officially over, so I was
technically what Matt had referred to a while ago as a free agent. I could go
wherever or do whatever photo opportunities I wanted now. The only thing that
scared me was, since I’ve woken up, I haven’t done any photo shoots and didn’t
know whether I still knew how. What if I didn’t remember how to do it? I
guessed I would find out soon enough.

Once he’s done fumbling with my phone he hands it back to me
while saying, “I’ll still look forward to waking you up for your runs.” He
wickedly grins.

“Of course you would,” I grumble.

Just then the doorbell rings and my body goes tense. This
always happens when I’m unaware of someone coming over. I hate it. I’m letting
the whole Bill incident still get to me.

Matt notices my tension and squeezes my hand. “It’s okay
beautiful, it’s only the delivery I’m waiting for,” he says as he stands up
from the couch.

I watch him go over to the door and when he opens it I’m
looking at a couple of guys holding what looks like a table. I promptly stand
up and head in the direction of the kitchen following the deliverymen who are
bringing it in.

Very confused, I lean against the island, crossing my arms.
I stare at Matt wondering what he’s up to. “Why a new table?” I ask.

He walks over in my direction, stopping directly in front of
me, placing both of his hands on my hips. “I noticed how you refuse to eat at
it anymore, or even look in its direction. I know why and I don’t blame you.
I’m sorry. This is my way of trying to make things right again,” he says
apologetically.

Sighing to myself, I stand there and watch as they set up
the table. I want to still be mad at him about what happened on the table, but
him buying a new one is proving that he’s trying.

“I did miss eating with you guys, but you’re right. I refuse
to eat at a table that you fucked some girl on,” I say out loud. The delivery
guys stop in their tracks, as if shocked, but after a second they resume
setting up the new table.

Matt leans down and places a kiss on my temple before
turning around to monitor the deliverymen.

“So what exactly are you going to do with the old one?”

I’m hoping he’ll say we get to burn it, but I really doubt
he’ll let me. Actually, the way things are at this very moment, I’m pretty sure
if I were to ask he’d let me. The thought makes me giggle.

He hears me and turns around. “I figured I’d have the
delivery guys take it and let them dispose of it. I don’t care what happens to
it, as long as it’s out of here, and you don’t have to look at it anymore.”

The deliverymen finish setting up the table and walk out
with the old table, Matt following at their heels. I head over to the new one
sitting in front of me. It’s a cherry wood color and huge. It looks sturdy,
well built, and seats six. I stand there and admire the beauty in it. Matt may
not think so, but I really think some of his sister’s eye for furniture has
rubbed off on him.

I feel Matt come up and stand behind me placing his hands on
my waist. “You like it?”

“Of course, it’s beautiful,” I exclaim to him.

I feel him place a kiss on the top of my head again. “Not as
beautiful as you,” he whispers.

Sighing, I lean my body back against his. Savoring the
comfort it’s giving me. Against my will, he was slowly breaking down the walls
of protection that I had built around my heart. I already knew that it wouldn’t
take long until they were completely gone.

I SOON DISCOVERED that although
Julio ran to keep in shape, he was not fast enough when my legs wanted to move.
It made me laugh knowing that I was now the one having to slow down for someone
else.

Distance running was not his thing either. The first time I
took him on a run that required more than 10 miles he almost collapsed on me
when we were done. Poor guy, I felt really bad, but I think Matt’s pancakes
made up for it. He made a new fan of Julio with those pancakes alone.

Matt sure knew how to make the fluffiest pancakes I’d ever
tasted. Betty Crocker had nothing on that man. He always made them from
scratch, flour, eggs, and all. What amazed me even more was that he never used
measuring cups, he would only eye all the measurements. So I was screwed if I
ever tried to make them myself.

After eating our pancakes Matt had come up with the
brilliant idea that Julio start taking a bike on my longer runs. That way it
would allow me to keep the pace I chose, yet make it easier for Julio to keep
up with me. Especially since my next three runs leading up to the race were going
to have to include hills.

Upon studying the elevation map for the race, I realized I
was going to have to train my body to get used to the increase of inclines as
well.

The following week, with a map in hand, Julio and I were
driving out of town to a road that included some elevated inclines that I’d be
able to safely run. I don’t know how much the bike helped, but it did give
Julio a workout for his legs. He
was
able keep up with me a little
easier, being that I was a bit slower from the climbs, but according to Julio,
it did burn his legs pedaling up them. I would joke with him to stop whining,
and to look forward to the way back down.

Another dreadful thing I had to endure was the freaking ice
baths. Matt had showed Julio how to fill the tub with bags of ice and cold
water, so when I was done with the run I could soak my legs in it. Despite my
protesting, Matt said it was a necessity for my legs to avoid injury. Trust me,
I was thinking of Matt the first time I got into it. But it included a lot of
cursing, which only made Julio laugh hysterically. Matt was a lucky man that
his game was away that weekend, because if he was anywhere near me I probably
would have made him get in with me. Why should I have to suffer alone?

During that week I had the photo shoot for the running
company, which made me a bit nervous. I asked Kelly to accompany me, since it
was during one of her days off, and Matt would be at school. She was ecstatic
about the idea of the photo shoot. Good to know one of us was.

When we arrived I realized we were doing the shoot at one of
Portland’s famous trails, and my only job was to act like I was running as they
shot photo after photo. When they told me this I wanted to laugh. I’d been so
nervous that I wouldn’t be able to perform as a model. I was almost at the
point of hyperventilating. Had I known I was going to be doing something I
loved doing I wouldn’t have felt pressured.

Once I was dressed in an outfit from the selection they had
provided, it was time to start. They had marked off a section of the trail for
me to run on. My sole job was to start at the beginning of the mark, and run up
the trail while the photographer took photos. When I reached the end, I would
have to stop, then head back up to the start again and do it all over again.

I did this for half an hour, and then they had me stand
around in different poses in the different outfits, looking vigorous from the
run. I did this for the next hour and once the photographer was satisfied he
had enough good shots I was done.

It was easier than I’d ever thought it would be and the
company was satisfied with my work. They even let me keep everything they had
brought to the shoot that day. I left a very happy girl.

With the help of the crew, I started collecting all my
goodies from the day. All of a sudden I feel my phone begin to vibrate, singing
at the same time to
Just the Way You Are
.

Confused, I look at the screen to see a picture of Matt
smiling back at me. I instantly feel butterflies flutter throughout my stomach
at the thought of Matt singing it to me.

“Hi Matt,” I say into the phone. “You know you really need
to stop changing the ringtones on my phone.” Looking up, I notice some of the
camera crew, Kelly, and Julio staring at me with a smile on their faces as
well. The camera crew immediately goes back to packing up, but Kelly and Julio
keep intensely staring at me, interested in my conversation.

I can almost feel his smile on the other end of the phone as
he speaks. “Hey beautiful, you almost done?” he says back at me. “How’s it going?”

I turn away from the curious eyes. “I’m actually done,” I
tell him.

“Already? That was quick. You’re that good?” he says,
chuckling into the phone, which makes me feel dizzy again.

I chuckle back at him. “No, actually. I would have done this
all day if they let me, but they said they got all the shots they needed.”

“That’s good.”

“What time are you done with classes?” I ask.

Matt has been so busy with practice and now classes that I
rarely saw him anymore. I was starting to get a little sad about it. When he
was home late at night, he was usually studying. The only time I did get to
spend time with him now was when I’d help him study; it was his way of trying
to spend time with me, while getting his school work done. I couldn’t complain
though, he was making an effort by including me.

“I’m done with classes, but I’m going to head over to the
gym before practice. I was thinking that maybe we could all go out to the
Brewhouse for dinner, the game’s on tonight. What do you think, you up for it?”
I could hear the hesitation in his voice as he asks, which makes me feel
guilty. Why would he think he needs my approval?

“Matt, you don’t need to ask for my approval, if that’s what
you think. I’m fine with whatever place we go to for dinner.”

“It’s not about me asking for permission, beautiful. It’s
because I know I haven’t been spending much time with you lately and I feel
really bad about it. Tonight’s the first night I don’t have the pressure of
schoolwork or studying, so I thought we’d go out.” His cheerless voice
intensifies my guilt.

I feel like I need to reassure him. “Sure, sounds fun. Do I
need to tell Julio to come with us?” I ask, looking back in Julio’s direction,
thinking he heard me, but he’s already walking over to Kelly’s car carrying the
bags with my stuff.

“No, a bunch of guys from the team are going to be there
too. They should be enough man power.” His response makes me laugh.

“Okay. I’ll see you after practice then,” I say to him
before hanging up.

I start thanking everyone in the camera crew, along with the
running company, and begin walking back to the car.

As I get into the front seat of the car, Kelly starts it up.
“So missy, what’s really up with you and Matt? Have you guys kissed and made
up?” she says, driving away from the trail.

“Matt has a way of getting me. I can’t seem to stay mad at
him,” I grumble.

I hate saying it out loud. Even in my head it sounds lame.
I’m pathetic when it comes to Matt.

“Mmmm, hmmm,” she says, while keeping her eyes on the road.

“What is that supposed to mean?” I snap back at her.

Keeping her hands on the wheel she quickly looks at me. “I’m
only saying, that there’s something definitely going on between the two of you.
Whether you see it or not, it’s there,” she says, refocusing on the road ahead
of her. “And Julio could back me up on it,” she says, her eyes darting to the
rearview mirror.

I whip my head around to look at Julio, but he’s acting like
he’s ignoring us by looking out of the side window.

Snapping my head back to the front to look back at Kelly, I
argue, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. He obviously cares about me,
but not in an
I want you as a girlfriend way
, and I’m not going down the
road of adding myself to his special list of friends,” I assure both of them. “He’s
really protective of me, that’s all, and with all the shit going on in my life
right now, I’ll take it,” I finish telling her.

She groans, pinching her lips together. My eyes avert to
look in the rearview mirror to Julio in the backseat. He looks suddenly
uncomfortable with the conversation, like we’re discussing tampons and periods.

Deciding that a change of subject is needed, I inform Kelly
of dinner plans, and let Julio know he’s done for the day. He tries reassuring
me that he doesn’t mind tagging along, but I tell him exactly what Matt said
about the team being there, and this makes both him and Kelly laugh. Matt might
not be telling me how he really feels about me, but he sure is declaring how
protective he is.