Authors: Nicole Dykes
Before
he can answer, “Yeah, let me explain. I came home to find your son in nothing
but his underwear in bed with my 15 year old sister.” And I’m back to yelling
because I just conjured up what I saw in Cassie’s bedroom.
“Son,
I thought you said this Cassie was a nice girl. Why would she….”
Oh. No.
He’s. Not.
“You
don’t want to finish that. I won’t hit your son, but I will fuck you up if you
think of saying anything else.” I warn. I’m close. I’m seriously almost over
the edge at this minute, and before I fuck everything up, I need to go. I look
over the man’s shoulder so I can address his son, “You lose my sister’s number,
my address, and any fucking memory you have of her. I promise that you never
want to see me again.” And I’m back in my truck.
I
slam my truck door when I get out causing everyone in the Social Services
parking lot to look over at me, and I’m too far gone to care. My next target
is inside there, and I’m in full-charge mode. My whole body is a heat-seeking
missile, and Brooke Porter is the target it’s aiming for. I spot her
immediately standing beside her desk, talking to one of her coworkers. I don’t
yell her name, but she spots me. Her eyes widen, and she inclines her head my
way causing Brooke to turn and look. “You,” My voice is an angry growl.
She
puts her hand out and touches my arm; I guess to calm me, but it doesn’t,
“Dylan?” She keeps her voice low, but it’s not steady, and I see the worry on
her face.
“I
need to speak to you, right now.” My body is tense and vibrating with
aggression, and my words match the angry vibe coming from me. She notices it
too. She knows I’m not in a panic and that I’m angry.
She
turns and grabs her purse off her desk. “I was just heading out for some
lunch. Join me and we can talk.” With her hand on my elbow, she heads for the
exit. I follow behind with my jaws clenched and hands fisted tightly. I look
just like I feel, a badass motherfucker looking for a fight. Luckily no one
stops us.
She
steers me toward her car motioning toward the passenger side. I have no idea
where she’s taking me, but thankfully there won’t be witnesses.
Smart girl.
We
drive in silence to an apartment complex. After we get arrive, she leads me to
a door, opens it, and we go inside. So far nothing's been said, and the
tension continues to grow. Inside she lays her purse on a table and turns to
me, “Dylan, are you okay?”
“No.”
I’m glaring. She continues calmly. I’m fixing to blow that calm.
“Did
something happen with one of the kids?”
Here
we go, the lid is off.
I
look in her eyes, open my mouth, and nothing.
Come on, use your words.
Cassie, boy, bed, condom. Ahh, there we go.
“I
stopped by my house after a meeting today and found Cassie---fuck…..”
“Cassie,
what, Dylan? Is she okay?”
“No,
goddammit, she….she….”
She
squeezes my arm, “Dylan, just breathe and talk to me.”
I
let out a harsh breath, “I went to the house after meeting a guy to look at a
car. I went to check on Cassie. She went home early because she was
sick
.
She wasn’t upstairs, so I headed to her room, and heard voices inside. Do I
need to tell you what happened next?” I ask.
She
nods, and waits for me to continue. “She was in bed with that fucking asshat,
Brent.” I ground out.
“Oh,
no, what were they doing?”
“Really?
They were in bed minus lots of clothes, so nothing good. And there was a
fucking condom on the table.” Now I’m yelling.
“Oh,
so they weren’t just innocently kissing?”
“No,
Brooke, they weren’t just
innocently
kissing. They were under the
covers. When the little jackass stood up, he only had on underwear.”
“Okay,
calm down. Was Cassie in her underwear too?”
Calm
down? What?
“I don’t fucking know. She was under
the goddamn covers.”
“Let’s
sit down, Dylan,” She takes my hand and leads me to the couch. She takes the
middle cushion, and I sit down beside her. She turns her body to mine, and
bites her bottom lip, deep in thought.
I wish she wouldn’t do that.
She
takes my hand in hers and holds it in her lap. I’m calm. “What happened after
you caught them?”
“I
told that little fucker to get off my sister and get the hell out of my house,
minus his clothes.” She gives me a crazy look.
“And
after Brent left, what did you say to Cassie?”
“What
do you mean what did I say to her? What could I say? Okay, I left and drove
to that little shit’s house to give his clothes to his parents.”
“Dylan,”
another crazy look, “Why didn’t you talk to her about this? You didn’t even
ask her what she was thinking?” And just like that, I morph back to anger.
“Yeah,
Brooke. I asked her. She talked about bullshit feelings and confusion. Oh,
and she wanted to talk to you about it last night, but, You. Fucking. Left.”
Brooke’s
face transforms to her special brand of pissed, “Don’t yell at me, Dylan
Monroe. You can’t blame me for this. This is your responsibility. You need
to be at home with her right now.”
“And
what? Talk to her about
sex
? I can’t talk to my 15-year-old sister
about sex.”
“She’s
not just your sister anymore; you’re her guardian. Dealing with it is part of
being her guardian. You don’t just get to walk away from it; you have to handle
it like an adult.”
“No
fucking way,” I shake my head.
“Yes,
Dylan. You have to talk to her today. Don’t sit on this.”
I
sigh, frustrated, “What the hell do you want me to say to her?” She looks at
me like she’s losing patience with me, and that just ramps me up again, “Oh,
hey, how ‘bout I give her pointers for next time. Maybe I should apologize for
interrupting.” I couldn’t sound more disgustedly sarcastic if I tried.
And
she’s not impressed, she narrows her eyes to little slits before continuing.
“Don’t be stupid.” She sucks in a deep breath to calm herself before speaking.
“Dylan you don’t have to have a technical conversation about sex. She knows
all that.”
“She’s
15 years old. Why would she know about sex?”
“Because
her mom pretty much told her all that when she started having periods.”
“Stop,
stop, stop. I don’t want to have this conversation.” Now I’m disgusted.
“Dammit,
grow up. You’re 26 years old, and I’m more than sure the facts of life aren’t
something new to you. She needs you to guide her through things like this.”
“What
about you? Aren’t you supposed to do this? She always goes to you for this
shit. If you would stop for a goddamn minute and quit avoiding me all the
time, she could have talked to you last night?”
“No,
Dylan. That’s now how this works. I stepped out of my role before, and things
got out of control. My responsibility is to help you deal with things like
this. That’s what I’m doing if you’ll listen to me. Clearly she’s confused
about relationships and probably arousal. You remember what it felt like to be
in love for the first time, and your hormones are out of control.”
“You
have lost your damn mind. I can’t discuss my sex life with my sister,” I tell
her disgusted at the idea.
She
sighs, and I can tell she’s frustrated. “Obviously, you don’t go into details
about your….relationships…but…..”
“I
don’t have relationships.” I interrupt her. I’m trying to get out of this, but
it’s backfiring by the look on Brooke’s face.
“You
have to relate to her somehow on this. You were her age once. You can’t tell
me there wasn’t, at least, one girl who you had some feelings for.”
I
shake my head. Today has been one hell of a day, and I don’t want to relive my
teenage years. I think about what she says for a second. And then Brooke adds,
“And do not lie to her. She’s smart and will smell your bullshit a mile away.”
I
smile at her, and it feels foreign to my face because it’s been a long time.
She smiles back and asks, “What?”
“So
I can’t tell her that I waited until I was twenty-five?”
She
laughs slightly. “Yeah, no, don’t do that. Just be honest with her. Of
course, it won’t hurt to remind her about condoms and preventing pregnancy.
But she’s a girl Dylan, and you need to make sure you get across to her the
emotional aspect of sex.”
“See,
now you’ve lost me again. I’m going to be totally honest with you, sex for me
is not an emotional thing. It’s physical, period. No cuddling, holding,
kissing, or promises to call her later. It’s a release.”
She
looks a little shocked. Maybe that was too much honesty. “You can’t sit there
and tell me you’ve never been with a girl, and it wasn’t just about sex.”
I
laugh a little because I’m so out of my element. I’ve never had anything or anyone
that rattles me like this. I’m so freaked out right now it’s laughable. I
look up when I hear her laugh. “What’s so funny?”
She
shakes her head, “Nothing.”
“Really?
Because it sounds like, you’re laughing at me.”
“I’m
not. I’m sorry, I’m just thinking….” She trails off like she doesn’t want to
continue.
“About.”
I prompt her to continue.
She
stares at me for a second and gives me a sweet smile, “How much Cassie can
shake you up, make you lose your cool.”
“Yeah,
she’s my little sister, and if you’d seen what I did you would be freaked out
too.”
She
laughs again, and it’s infectious, I love this girl’s laugh it draws me to her.
I look down at our entangled hands. Releasing my hand from hers, I bring my
other up to cup her face, then lean into her. We’re close enough that we’re
sharing our breaths. “Brooke.” I touch my lips to hers for the first time and
just feel. When she parts her lips on a sigh, I take the kiss from zero to
sixty, and she hangs on for the ride. I can feel her grip on my t-shirt,
stretching it to draw me closer, so I move in closer pushing her back to the
couch.
If
this is the only moment I get, I’m making it count. I search her sweet mouth
with my tongue. I explore every groove and crevice I can reach, and she does
the same. I hold her head in one hand and slide the other down her side, feeling
her curves. I’m going to make her understand how much I want her….
“Dylan.
Stop. We have to stop.” Her hands have changed direction. She’s no longer
pulling me close; now she’s pushing me away. “We can’t do this. Please,
please, please understand. We can’t do this.”
I
lift my head and look down into her beautiful face before lowering my forehead
to hers, “Impossible.” I kiss her lips briefly one last time before getting
up.
“I’m
sorry. I’m so sorry, but this is serious, Dylan. I crossed a line.”
“Right,
this is a serious matter. Two people want each other so badly they hurt with
it, but because of circumstances they can’t be together.” I bark out a harsh
laugh.
“It’s
not just circumstances. It’s my career. My life.”
“I
get it, Brooke. Terrible timing for us. A terrible situation.”
Enough.
“Okay, um, I should probably get back home to Cassie. Time for that “talk.” I
shake my head because I, Dylan Monroe, am retreating.
Fuuuuuck.
“Dylan,
I’ll try to be around more, okay. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for Cass last
night. I’m so sorry for the distance, but it’s hard for me too. You aren’t in
this situation alone. I can’t just risk my career because of….hormones.”
Seriously,
she thinks this is hormones. Is it? Great now I’m confused again.
“Well,
it’s certainly been a hormonally fucked up day in my world.”
“Don’t
be sarcastic, Dylan. Put yourself in my place. I’ve worked six years to get to
this place in my life. To have a job in the field I’ve sweated blood and tears
to get.”
I’m
tired of this ride. “Thank you for your help, Brooke. Seriously I appreciate
it.”
“Anytime.
And if you need anything, even if it’s to talk to Cass, just let me know. You
have this, and you’ll do just fine. But it’s important, Dylan, so please don’t
blow it off to fix itself.”
“Yes,
ma’am. I’ll talk to her as soon as I get home, and I’ll tell her she can call
you,
only
if she needs to. I don’t want her bothering you as much as
she was before.”
She
slips around me and picks up her purse so we can go back to her office
building. The ride is silent, but comfortably so. After she parks I open my
door, “See ya Tuesday?”
“Of
course. Same as always.”
“But
no cooking?”
“No.”
She looks at me contemplating something for a second. “I could hang out and
help with homework….or….something, you know, hang out with the kids a little.”