Unraveled (Holding On Book 3) (17 page)

“
I don’t know why shit happens the way that it does. What I do know is this,” he told her. “When fate, the universe, God, whatever it is that you believe in…If it gives you a second chance, you should grab onto it with everything you’ve got.”

She gave him a grateful smile.
“Thanks, Luke.”

“Just…be good to him, okay?” Luke asked.

“I plan to be,” she assured him.

He narrowed his eyes at her for a second, as if to determine if she meant what
she said. He must’ve decided her words were genuine because he finally gave her a little nod of appreciation.

She knew her behavior had been a little off all night. It had nothing to do with her feelings for Jesse and everything to do with the maddening call from Nolan.
She hoped that Jesse hadn’t picked up on it. However, if
Luke
had, Jesse likely had too.

Suddenly, she was a little more anxious for Quinn and Luke to leave. She finished getting the dessert ready. They ate
their dessert, which turned out better than Carly had dared to hope. Then they moved into the living room where they laughed over old memories and chatted for another few hours. The next time Quinn glanced at the clock and made an apologetic face, Carly swished her worry away, telling her to go ahead and head home. And to please kiss all those kiddos for her.

When the door closed behind them, Carly turned to Jesse.
After she and Luke had come out of the kitchen, she’d noticed him sneaking worried glances at her. Her fear had been right. He had picked up on her up-and-down attitude. Since then, she’d been working hard at staying upbeat. She’d playfully tapped her foot against his under the table. When they’d moved into the living room, she’d curled into him as they relaxed with glasses of wine on the loveseat.

“We still have time to go out,” Jesse said. “I mean,
it is New Year’s Eve. If we leave now, we’d get to Shady’s well before the stroke of midnight.”

She didn’t even have to think about it. “I’d rather stay here and have you all to myself.” In truth, she knew that if they went to the bar, there was a very good chance that they would run into Betsy, his ex. So far, she’d miraculously managed to avoid a confrontation with the woman during her visit home.

The last few weeks had gone so well. She didn’t want anything to spoil them. A run in with Betsy surely would.

“If you’re sure,” he said.

“I am. But I’ve got a question for you. Are you going to let me spend the night?” she asked with a devilish grin.

Jesse slid his arms around her waist, pulling her against him in a tight hug. “You didn’t bring a bag.”

She shrugged. “Don’t need one. I still remember where everything is at. I can find everything I need right here,” she assured him with a wink.

He let out a low laugh as she nuzzled his neck.

“You’re in a much better mood than you were earlier,” he said softly. “You had me worried for a while there.” She pulled back to look at him.  He had a concerned, determined look on his face. “Tell me what was bothering you?”

She tried to give him a smile, but under his scrutiny, she was sure she didn’t achieve the desired effect.
“Nothing. Nothing was bothering me.”

He loosened his grip just a bit. When he let out a sigh, a flash of disappointment flitted across his face. “Come on Carly, we’re friends right?”

She let out a teasing little laugh. “Oh, is that what we are?”

He didn’t look amused.
“Among other things, yes. I want you to trust me. I want you to be able to talk to me. Friends do that, you know?”

Now she became serious when she said, “I do trust you.”

He gave a little shake of his head. “But not enough to tell me what’s going on with you?”

“It’s nothing,” she admitted in a tone that implied that it was something. “I mean, it’s no big deal.”
The last thing she wanted to talk about was Nolan. She just wanted to spend this time with Jesse. “Look, I’m leaving in a few days. Can we just make tonight about us?”

She watched as he forcefully pushed a more relax
ed expression onto his face. His arms tightened around her again. “Sure.” He said the word unenthusiastically, as if she’d disappointed him somehow.

“So, you never really answered my question. Do I get to stay?” she asked. She tried to keep her tone light, teasing and seductive. She wasn’t sure it was quite enough to lift the heavy mood.

Jesse smiled anyway. “Yeah, I was hoping you would want to stay. I’d like nothing more than to bring in the new year with you,” he said genuinely. “
But
…” Carly groaned as she pressed her hips into him. She already knew what was coming. “You have to promise to behave yourself.”

She shook her head at him.
Partly in frustration and partly in confusion. “What exactly is it that we’re waiting for?” When he had told her that he wanted to keep the physical aspect out of the relationship, she hadn’t thought he was serious. Or at least, that he would be serious about it for so long.

Instead of answering her question he simply said, “What do you have against a little bit of kissing? And letting me hold you all night long?”

As it turned out, she had nothing at all against it. In fact, the next morning she realized with a little pang of guilt that she never should’ve teased Quinn about the nights she’d spent simply ‘snuggling’ with Luke. Maybe Quinn had known exactly what she was doing all along.

14

She could be maddening.

She could be sweet and caring and fiercely protective. Yet, there was a vulnerability about her that she desperately tried to hide.

That’s what Jesse was thinking as he followed Carly back to Roseville.
He was thinking of all of the things that had drawn him to her. She’d been in Lanford for nearly a month. While he wouldn’t have wished a broken heart on her, he was grateful for Nolan’s timing. Jesse couldn’t have asked him to time it more perfectly. It had given him three solid weeks to spend with Carly before she had to leave again.

Three weeks to convince her that what they had was real. Not something based on sex, or revenge
, or spite. Instead, it was based on having spent years getting to know one another. The good things and the bad.

He could clearly remember the first time he’d seen her. He
and Jake had been watching Luke after football practice, waiting to give him a ride home. They were watching because they were always amused by Luke’s awkward attempts at flirting with Quinn. He knew that Luke had wanted Quinn, even back then. So he and Jake would give Luke, who was a sophomore, a hard time about his complete lack of skills. Luke would make pitiful attempts at flirting and they would go right over Quinn’s head. He and Jake would snicker over it and rib Luke about it mercilessly afterwards.

Only that day, while Quinn and Luke were talking, Carly had bounded up
to them out of nowhere. Both she and Quinn, who were only a year apart, were on the JV cheerleading squad. They stood side by side in their uniforms as Luke said something that made Quinn laugh.

“Who’s that?”
Jesse had asked Jake.

“
Her? That’s Carly,” Jake had smirked at him. “Quinn’s little sister. I’d leave that one alone if I were you.”

At that moment, Carly had glanced his way. Instead of being abashed at being caught checking her out, he’d winked at her. She’d blinked at him in stunned surprise. Then her confidence took over and she’d grinned at him
, winking back.

It was that moment that Carly Johnson had been emblazoned into his mind, and apparently into his heart and soul.
He could clearly recall her waist length, strawberry-blond hair and her mile long legs. Even then, she towered over her big sister.

After that,
for the rest of the school year, it seemed that she popped up everywhere. It was a natural move on her part. She’d just started spending more time with Quinn, who always seemed to be with Luke. So therefore, because Jake was Luke’s brother, Carly ended up spending time with him and Jake by default.

Until the night that everything went too far and everything was blown all to hell.

Jemma had just gotten her license. They’d all gone to a party at Shane’s house. Carly was supposed to catch a ride home with Jemma and Quinn, only they’d left without her. Or so Carly had claimed. Jesse was sure now that wasn’t what had happened at all.

He should’ve known better than to let things get so out of control. But she had a fire and determination behind her golden brown eyes. It was a fire that lit him up inside. When she
’d asked to pull into the empty parking lot at the lake, he hadn’t hesitated.

From there, things had quickly escalated. In a haze, he
’d found himself in the backseat of his car.

On the road ahead of him, Carly tapped her breaks, pulling him out of
his memory. It was just as well. Even now, he didn’t like to think about it. She had been far too young. Ironically, it was Luke who had ended up telling him so.

Jesse hadn’t told a soul about what had happened with Carly. Apparently
, Carly had told Quinn. A furious Quinn had told Luke just enough. It was Luke who told Jesse that Carly was barely fifteen. And it was Luke that had painted Jesse a very clear picture of Carly’s mother. None of it was Luke’s fault. He was simply the messenger.

The choices Jesse had made had been his alone.
As his adult self scrutinized the actions of his teenage self, he knew without a doubt that he’d handled the situation badly. Hell, he’d
always
known that.

He was sure that everyone had at least one thing in their life that they
wished they could undo. Take back. His was
that
night, when he’d gone to Nicole.

He’d gone to the extreme and pushed Carly as far away as possible, as quickly as possible. It hadn’t been hard to do. Nicole Miller had been chasing after him for months. He hadn’t been interested. But he’d gone after her the next weekend, knowing she’d be a sure thing. She had been.
So had a few other girls after that, but none of them had liked him the way Nicole had. None of the others seemed to care that he was only interested in a one night stand.

He shook his head in disgust. “I was such an ass,” he muttered as he turned up the radio. The music that thudded through the speakers didn’t drown out his thoughts. He’d hurt Carly terribly.
Nicole, too. He hadn’t thought through the repercussions. A few weeks later, by the time graduation rolled around, he’d left two shattered girls behind. One whose virginity he’d inadvertently take. Another whose dignity and heart he’d trampled on.

Yeah
, he reminisced,
the end of senior year went out with a real bang
.

At the time, he’d assumed that would be the end of Carly Johnson. It didn’t take long to realize that was
not the case. The Johnson girls and the McGrath boys seemed to be intrinsically tied together. And because of his friendship with Jake and Luke, there seemed to be no escaping her completely.

Though he kept his distance.

For years.

He could never get her completely out of his head because she
was always around. It’s hard to forget someone when they are constantly popping back into your life.

He’d see Carly at a party every now and again.
Her junior year she started working at a café in town. It was one he and Jake, like many other college guys, frequented. Sometimes he’d see her out for pizza with her friends. Sometimes he’d run into her when one of them was on a date. Often times he’d see her on the football field, cheering, because he’d accompanied Jake to one of Luke’s games. He would pretend he was going with to support Luke. Jake always gave him a hard time because he knew that wasn’t true. Jake knew Jesse was just hoping for an eyeful of Carly in her uniform.

Sometimes he wondered if the girl lived to
torture him. He would swear Carly never left the house without looking like an underage sex goddess…for the sole purpose of tormenting him should they run into each other. Or maybe the torment was all in his own head, a prison of his own making.