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“I
am a sexually enlightened woman.” She giggled after a moment
. So is Kendra—you, not so much
.
I fought a frown and she rolled her eyes. “Cheer up.” She threw a pillow at my face and I couldn’t help but to laugh. “You know what… I bet if he’s given you this…” She trailed off and jumped up. “I’ll be back.” She was gone in a flash, my door rattling in the frame. I took the time to clean up some.

Leslie returned ten minutes later with arms full of books. She set them on the Island and gestured at them dramatically.

“Voila, think of it as research.”

“Research?” I raised a brow and smoothed the waistband of my low rise jeans.

“Aleksi is a vampire who gave you
Venus in Furs
and said that he has certain appetites which lean towards de Sade’s.”

“But he had to have wrapped the box
before the conversation, and he knew about my thesis—I think.”

“He’s trying to feel you out, Sweetie. It’s actually nice. Most guys just kind of spring their kinks on you after they’re comfortable with you. Case in point, Garrett.” She broke into her Garrett impersonation then “Oh, I love you so much. You’re the only one for
me, Angel Face. Oh by the way, even though I said you’re the only one for me…and we’ve been dating for years and I have never hinted at being kinky—I like to be the meat in a fuck sandwich.
Come join me—and a bunch of people you’ll have to look in the eye almost every day for the next ten years—in our bed.” Even I could laugh at her deadpan impersonation.

“So what do you suggest I do?”

“Read these—keep in mind he won’t be into these things exactly—and make an informed decision. He wants you, Autumn.” Leslie left after that, leaving me to the mountain of books.

Kendra spent the night at Aleksi’s. I woke up at 4 am and headed down to check the mail—during the hangover from hell I forgot that bills were due in. That was when he pulled up, that old Mercedes was an eye catcher with its shiny black paint. He got out and opened her door. Even though it was winter, he wore those flesh tone leggings that I saw him dance in the first time and an open black hooded sweater. On his feet were a pair of all black converse sneakers. I chewed on my bottom lip as I watched him lead her to the door with that hand at the small of her back. His skin had a flush to it—that bluish, bloodless hue was gone—he had fed.
From her.

Hiding behind the mailboxes I watched them, my heartbreaking with every casual touch.
It was only one date and Kendra moves at light speed. She’ll tire of him.
They engaged in quiet banter as they headed up the stairs. My mind raced, why did he choose her over me?
Well, you passed out on him last night for starters
. I darted up the stairs, running as fast as I could. My legs burned when I reached our floor. Still I could hear them, the laughter, and the murmurs.

As always I fumbled with my keys. My hands were shaking enough to jingle them, making it impossible to get the key in the lock. They slipped from my fingers and clinked on the tile. For a moment I stared before bending to pick them up, even then I was slower to snatch them from the ground.

“Leave the
door unlocked, I need a moment.” Aleksi’s voice hushed out to Kendra as she opened her door.

“Don’t be too long, Baby. Autumn knows this is just the natural order
of things.” Kendra cooed out before the door closed.

I knew he was standing behind me before I even saw his shadow. I could feel him. I didn’t turn around. No, I shut my eyes and leaned my forehead against the door. He took the keys from my hand and I offered no resistance. Those white hands slid the key into the brass lock and twisted. He ushered me into my apartment with that hand on my back and without a single word. The door closed behind us and he set the keys on the island next to the books. He lingered and I glanced up to see a smile curl his lips; it was a brief, sad smile.

“I gu
ess we’re not meeting Wednesday,” I managed through my shaky breath.
Finally, you say something not stupid.

He took a slow breath and closed his eyes for a moment. “No, unfortunately, I can’t see you for the time being.”

“But you can see her
.”

“Things are complicated, this is for the best.”

“I… I’m sorry about passing out.”
What the fuck are you apologizing for?

“It was nothing you did, Autumn.”

“Why?”

“S
ome things are best left unsaid.”

“Why her?” I mewed out as I leaned against the wall. My face was scalding, tears were coming.
The hell is wrong with you, it was one date.
I knew why I was crying. I didn’t have to spend more than a handful of moments thinking about it. It was always her. Every guy I liked she seized in her manicured clutches within moments of them smiling at me.

He fell silent and picked up one of the books off of the island. The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty. He held the book out to me and took a long slow breath.

“I am very proud, revengeful, and ambitious
. With more offenses at my beck than I have thoughts to put them in, imagination to give them shape, or time to act them in. What should such fellows as I do crawling between earth and heaven? We are arrant knaves, all. Believe none of us.”
¹
His voice was softer than a feather. I recognized the verse from Hamlet, but I couldn’t place its context. I took the book from him. “You’ll enjoy it.” He nodded towards the book and started for the door. Half way there he paused and turned to me. He leaned and placed a kiss on my forehead and then left without another word.

I put the book on the counter and walked to my bookcase and pulled out my Oxford Complete Works of Shakespeare. Skimming Hamlet, I found the passage he quoted; it was right after the famous ‘get thee to a nunnery’ speech. He delivers it to Ophelia while they’re being watched by Claudius and Polonius. He was warning me away from the vampires in his Company.

Kendra was right, it did seem to be the natural order of things. Everything went back to how it was before. Kendra, Leslie and I walked to the train together every morning—except those Aleksi kept her overnight or slept over. I read all of Leslie’s books within a week of her giving them to me. It intrigued me and titillated me—the thought of surrendering myself to another. Leslie was right though, every single one had a sad ending.

There were however two changes to my routine, one being Leslie helped me get back into dancing. I spent two hours every other night in one of the rehearsal studios. The other change was that there was a clear wedge between Kendra and Leslie now. They weren’t the besties they used to be. We still all ate dinner together, but we didn’t smile as much anymore—the conversations felt hollow.

The opening night of Cinderella, I was changing in the dressing room. Leslie agreed to share a locker with me, and no one seemed to mind. The Vampires were staying indefinitely apparently. Everyone murmured it around the locker room as they grabbed things out of their lockers to take backstage. The world felt surreal as I moved against the current of a flood of dancers. Once the rush finished, that song from before drifted through the halls. I couldn’t help but to let my mind wander to Aleksi. I paused outside of rehearsal room B.
Keep moving, he’s with Kendra now.
I kept walking down to room C.

I took off my bright pink hooded sweatshirt and set my phone next to the small audio podium. Room C didn’t even have a piano. It did have a barre against one wall and mirrors on the two opposing walls. The un-mirrored walls were cinderblock painted black. My dance clothes were simple; a pair of black leggings, a red tank top, and a black shrug. I stretched and did a few simple warm-ups before I brought up the song I danced to when I was feeling particularly depressed. It was a choir covering Alanis Morissette's, You Oughta Know.

The song was haunting, beautiful and sad. I was able to completely give myself to the music as I danced. Twirling and gliding across the floor en pointe, sailing through the air—I felt utterly weightless. I felt utterly free of everything. My technique wasn’t the best, but Miss Manners was quieted as I danced.

However, mid-fouette—as I turned my head to spot—I caught a figure in the room. I stilled and walked over to my phone and turned the song off. It was Aleksi, he wore nothing but his leggings and slippers. I watched him cautiously as I pulled on my hoodie.
Gather your stuff and leave. Don’t even talk to him.

“I
’m glad you’re enjoying my gift.” He smiled at me. My heart fluttered and I felt a blush spread across my cheeks.

“Thank you, it’s nice to dance again. Eve
n if it’s just to let off steam.”

“You are a true joy to watch.”

“Th-thank you.” I flushed and shook my head.
He’s with Kendra
.
“H-how is Kendra?”

“She went to go watch Cinderella.”

“Ah, you guys seem happy together. I heard your Company is staying indefinitely that’s…” I trailed off.
Say something good, wish them well. Bitterness does not suit you, it was one date.
“Great...it’s great that you two will get to stay together.”

“Is it?” His voice seemed a little sad.

“We had one date… I…I don’t get to be bitter because K-
Kendra did what she always does,” I stammered out, my hands smoothed my tank top across my flat stomach.

“I meant what I said in the note
and on our date, Autumn Darling.” He purred my name and took a few steps closer. I shivered again.
Leave, don’t play her part.
“I crave you. I yearn for you.” He took another step closer. “I want to possess you utterly and completely.” He closed the distance between us. “And watch you come undone.”

My breathing was shallow, and my skin was just humming. He still wanted me
. He’s still with Kendra.
He reached out and traced those long, pale, white fingers across my neck. I pressed my thighs together, and my eyes fell closed.

“
You told me you couldn’t see me.” I breathed out as his fingers continued to trace along my pulse.

“It’s complicated.”

“Why?”

“Elizabeta gave an order in f
ront of a room full of vampires. And because I respect her, I have to keep up appearances. To defy your sire is an open act of challenge, and I don’t want to kill Elizabeta.”

“Why are you here?” H
is fingers stilled with my question, and my eyes opened and rose to meet his. I swam in that sea of cerulean blue for a moment.

“Because I can’t stay a
way. I have to have you, Autumn.” He practically growled out my name as he closed that distance between us and seized my mouth with his. The kiss was long, deep and heady.
Stop it! Leave already.
I didn’t stop the kiss. I kissed him back, his touch was intoxicating and I felt like I had downed a bottle of champagne.

He spun me around so my back was against him and those hands slid over my body as he kissed my throat. One hand slid down my stomach, and between my legs. I turned to jelly against him as he applied intermittent pressure with his hand. My hips moved against that offered friction and pressure.
Slut.
He nipped at my pulse and a soft moan left my lips. “Look at yourself.” He breathed huskily into my ear. My eyes raised to my reflection, and everything seemed too real.
Who is that whore in the mirror writhing against her friend’s boyfriend? Oh right, you!
I stiffened and pushed away from him.

“I can’t,
” I whispered before running to gather my things.

“Autumn.” My name on his lips was ripe with frustration.
Don’t look at him, just go.
I listened to Miss Manners for a change and ran to the locker room.

The next day, while I proctored a test for Intro to Shakespeare
my phone buzzed with a text message. I picked it up and stared at the screen and the little envelope icon. My eyes swept over the class of freshman, they were all busy writing away. I flicked the little icon with my thumb, and the message filled the tiny screen.

[I need to see you.]
It was from Aleksi. I stared at the text for a moment, trying not to smile—he was full sentence texter like I was. My eyes flitted up again to scan the room before I responded.

[I don’t want to do to Kendra what she did to me.]
I sighed as I pressed send.
Good girl.

[It’s not the same. I’ll come by your place to discuss it with you.]

[
I don’t know.
No, if you want to discuss it we can do it in public.]
Texting certainly makes you brave, and rude.

[6 pm Le Fleur. Wear the ribbon.]
I didn’t respond. I just set my phone down and went back to waiting for the students to turn in their tests.

Le Fleur was an ultra-expensive, five star, super-romantic restaurant. A meal there drifted into what I considered the ridiculous price category. It was the sort of place they’d toss you out of if you weren’t dressed properly. I wore my little black dress—it was long sleeved and hung off my shoulders tastefully. Around my neck, I wore my black lace cameo necklace and tied my hair into a bun using the red ribbon. That black faux fur stole covered my shoulders from the winter chill. I knew I was skirting the edge dress code wise.

I frowned at my reflection in the glass. I had tried my hardest to not look like I was date ready, but the dress code had made it impossible.
You shouldn’t have come
. I fingered the small cameo charm tentatively as I waited for the maître d to finish explaining to a couple that they were booked solid. I felt like an idiot standing next to them. I should have been dressier. Taking my phone out of my clutch I checked the time, 6:01 pm. The couple persisted arguing and waving around money. The manager came over and the couple continued making their scene.