Universe of the Soul (32 page)

My mother is a goddess
What am I

She is wrathful
I strike

She is vexed
My wings fly

She is hungry
I hunt

She plans
I fulfill

She judges
I execute

She condemns
I destroy

She is bored
I entertain

She is happy
I fade away

My mother is a goddess
But I

I am
I am

I am the pet of the goddess
The queen's reaper

Called by no name
But death

M
orning sunlight filtered through the privacy shields that covered the windows. The unusual invasion was annoying, but Adri was too comfortable to call out a command to close them. It had been a long time since she'd woken to sunlight creeping through a window. Normally, when she was on campaign, there weren't any windows to speak of, and the last mission to Rema had been no exception. No matter how reinforced they were, windows were still the most vulnerable part of a building besides the front door, and the Belligerents had been known to…

“DANWE!” Adri shot up in the bed, her mind racing. “I totally forgot about Blair and the others!”

“Huhm?”

Adri looked down at Gray, who was lying on his stomach beside her, his arm flung around her waist. He was only wearing his trousers. She blinked, and forgot her train of thought. It was the first time she'd seen him without a shirt on. Their legs were intertwined, and she was pretty sure she'd been using him as a pillow. The thought perturbed her, and she reached over to nudge him off her leg. The nudge turned into a gentle stroke along his back.

“Whassmatter?” he mumbled, one gray eye squinting up at her.

“I just realized that I left the Kobanes downstairs with free reign.”

“Umm,” Gray lifted his head, muttered at the clock, then flopped back down. “House's still here. You got Blair on them, right?”

“Yeah. Plus they have some sort of anti-escape chips from the Sales.”

“Mmm.”

“They could have destroyed everything down there,”

“Mmm-hmm. How're you going to explain this to Carter?”

Adri frowned thoughtfully. “I don't know. Where is he anyway?”

“Captain's interview.”

“Oh,” envy rushed in like a tidal wave. She let it wash over her for a few seconds before shoving the emotion away. She moved to slide off the bed, only to remember that Gray was lying on her leg. Then she realized that she was only wearing her undershirt and trousers. Her jacket, tunic shirt and boots were lying in a pile next to his on the floor. Adri's frown darkened as she tried to remember just when she had removed half her clothing the night before. When no recollection occurred, she turned to the obvious culprit. Her nudge was not gentle this time. “Gray!”

“What?”

“Why is it I don't remember taking half my clothes off?”

Gray rolled onto his side and propped his head on his fist. “It was hot in here, and you weren't comfortable in all that. So I helped you.”

“I don't remember.”

He answered her unasked question. “You fell asleep while we were talking, Adri. It was warm, so I helped you. That's all.”

“Oh,” Obviously the extent of her lack of relationship knowledge was now clear to him. But instead of feeling naïve or awkward, she was oddly relaxed. “Why not?”

“Because I'm an old fashioned guy,” Gray replied easily. “Remember? Some adventures are better served after we are married.”

“Most people don't think that way anymore.”

“Which is why you are the way you are.”

Adri's spine snapped straight. “Are you implying something?”

With a huff of frustration, Gray snatched her hand and held it to keep her close. “Adri, would you honestly feel safe to be that close to someone without a commitment?”

Her life was testament to the negative, but since Gray continued to stare at her expectantly, she replied. “No.”

It was a hard confession Gray knew, so he kissed her fingers and gave a little back. “Neither would I.”

The house was not destroyed, nor had the Kobane sisters attempted anything more serious than scouring the kitchen units for organic milk. Adri and Gray discovered them, along with Blair, lounging in one of the sitting rooms that faced the elegant expanse of Carter's estate.

“Well, well, the lovebirds return,” Hildana called from her prone position on a couch. Empty milk containers lined the floor beside her.

Adri scowled at her, kicking containers aside as she made her way to the kitchenette on the far side of the room. “Watch it, Kobane,”

Hildana waved her hand dismissively. “You don't scare me.”

Adri turned and raised her eyebrow sarcastically. “Oh really?”

“Nope. Not that I don't think you can kick butt when you want, but you're pretty discriminating on who deserves to get their butts kicked. Not to mention the fact that we've been around for a couple of weeks now, and you haven't tried to make any sort of retaliation for blowing you up.”

“Does this touching speech have a point?”

“Getting to it,” Hildana took a swig of milk. “The point, Rael, is that you stand. And that means something to us. So we'll be sticking around, no harm, no foul, until we can get back home safely.”

“What are you taking about? Isn't the whole master/slave deal supposed to mean that I decide everything?” Not that she had any plans, but still. It was her authority.

The Belligerent soldier produced two small pieces of metal. “Yeah, about that,”

“Are those the - ”

“The tracking and termination chips,” Hildana finished. “Little sister here has a talent with finding and removing these things. Not to mention the help that the doctor lent.”

Adri glared at Blair accusingly. He suddenly found a deep fascination with the artwork on the ceiling. “So what are you saying?”

“You stand,” Hildana repeated. “We decided that staying with you is our best bet. Not that we couldn't run if we put our minds to it,” she wagged a finger. “But our chances of making it back to Iqaidi are slim. So we will stay here and be good little slaves until it suites us.”

“Not that you act much like slaves now,” Adri muttered. The two women stared at each other for a long minute before Adri spoke again. “I could find you if you ran.”

“Probably could, what with your…condition. It weighs in,”

Adri understood the uneasy truce. She nodded.

“You are agreeing to this as well?” Gray demanded of Giselle.

The younger Kobane nodded. “We could even be helpful.”

“Not that you seem to need much help, since you can dodge blaster beams and survive a crash landing on a planet.” Hildana remarked.

Giselle agreed again, still looking at Gray. “And you have a remarkable throwing arm.”

“This has Eliot Blair written all over it,” Adri said to Blair as Gray and the Kobanes fell into a bizarre banter about past engagements.

“Not really,” Blair replied. “I simply discussed their options with them while I helped to locate their chips.”

“You admit to assisting an enemy of the government to remove those things?”

Blair made a soft
tsk
ing sound. “I know you really would not have cared if they made their escape last night.”

“Of course I would. They are very cunning Belligerents who…okay, so I wouldn't have sweated over it much. The chances of them making it off planet even without their chips are minute. They would be caught, incarcerated, and most likely executed.”

“So you see, it is much better if they stay with us.” Blair reasoned. “I also believe…”

“What? I have a feeling you're going to say something I really don't want to hear,”

“I believe that they have some part to play in this. Like Giselle said, they could be helpful.”

“Or they could slit my throat.”

Blair was saved a reply when a voice called out from the door. “Grayson! Is that you? From the sound of it, you must have taken up my suggestion on those dancing girls. Did you - ” Royce Carter ambled into the room, took one look at the crowd and blinked hard. “Danwe, did I really have
that
much to drink?”

Two hours later found Adri sitting on a lounge chair, watching her old friend mix a drink for her old enemy and chat amiably about the latest changes in military uniforms. It was enough to boggle the mind of an ordinary person. Being increasingly less ordinary as time went on, Adri tried her best to take it in stride.

“Carter seems to be absorbing this invasion well,” Gray commented from beside her. Ever since he had opened the door for her the day before, he hadn't moved from her side. Adri would have been annoyed if she hadn't liked it so much. The more she was around him, the more she realized she'd missed him when they were apart.

“Carter's an idiot,” Adri replied, nodding at the man in question. “You'd think he was discussing the latest top circle fashion trends.”

Gray laughed at that. “True. But I've caught on to him.”

“Caught on?”

“Yep.” He changed the subject abruptly. “What are you going to tell the council about your absence?”

Adri looped the chain of her pendant around her fingers in a rare anxious gesture. “I don't know. The whole Adept deal is completely out, but the rest of it will stand. Apart from that insanity there,” She scowled at the Kobanes, who were trying out the drink Carter had mixed. “My rep will allow them to take me back with little question, but I've missed the captaincy exams, so I'll have to go back as a lieutenant commander.”

Gray watched her twirl her pendant around and around, a small smile playing on his lips. “Not if you had a sponsor.”

“But I don't.”

“Not now, you don't. But I believe that, with a little persuasion, Heedman would be willing to sponsor you.”

Adri dropped her chain to stare at Gray incredulously. “Did you get some brain damage while I was away? Why in the universe would Heedman sponsor me? He practically
killed
me!”

“Just so,” with a flick of his wrist, Gray produced a data chip. “I happen to have a great deal of persuasion on hand.”

“What is that?” Adri demanded.

“This, my lovely Adri, is your blackmail.”

****

It took several minutes of listening to the intercom buzz for Floyd to react. The noise echoed emptily through the wide rooms of the mansion, like the call of a lost duckling whose mother had died. Once he realized that the intercom was buzzing because someone was at the front door, it took another long moment to remember that there was no staff to answer it. With a quiet moan, he rolled out of bed and stumbled out into the hall and down the stairs. The headaches that had been tormenting him for months continued to sing inside his skull with shattering proficiency. He didn't bother to check the identity of his midnight visitor. With the heavy “protection” that Colonel Stroff had placed around his property, he was as safe as the supreme chancellor. Almost blindly, he reached for the door panel and hit the release. In the back of his pain-filled mind, he almost wished for a quick shot to the head, just to end the agony.

What he got was a shot to the heart.

His sister stood on the doorstep, wet from the rain. Upon seeing him she let out a cry that sounded close to a sob. “Floyd! Oh!”

“Freya,” Floyd gasped, wrapping his arms around her like a lifeline. Her skin was chilled, and the simple white dress she wore was soaking wet. “Danwe, what are you doing here? You haven't been home since mother died.”

“Floyd!” Freya cried, hugging him tight. “I'm so glad that you're okay,”

Startled by the tremor in her voice, he whispered, “What happened, Freya?”

The young Talented made a soft sound of pain, clinging tighter. “Massacre.”

Feeling better. Am I feeling better? My skull still vibrates with agony, and my body aches for sleep that I can't find. But the cloud of numbness that had swallowed me since father's death is dissipating. Some things are still hazy, but more and more come clear.

I think I was crazy. Simple. Overwork. Being home has improved me considerably.

No, no. Don't lie to yourself. It haunts me. I may still go crazy, or kill myself with mental fatigue, but at least now I understand why. Maybe that's the measure of calm I've gained.

Father would never commit suicide.

Strange, how I forgot that, or couldn't handle that truth until Freya came home last night with horror tales of blood and destruction. Strange how we are both haunted by places we called home, places with people who want to kill us. But Freya won't let me just end it. She won't let me succumb to their plans. And she is right. I have too much to do now. I owe my…children that much, to try and find a way to save who I can.

Children…huh. Well, they call me father, so why shouldn't I call them children? As their father, I am responsible for their welfare. I must find a way to help, even if it's just for a few.

Freya is strength, and oh, how I've missed feeling strong. She says that there is much going on in her world of visions and power. Things that will affect everyone more directly than we realize. Nothing is safe.

No, nothing is safe. Nowhere is safe. I know that Stroff has me watched. The security monitors never sleep. Sooner or later he is going to grow tired of me, and I will disappear. In the meantime he will allow me to putter about in the home that is no longer mine, tinkering with my humacoms. As though I were blind as well as helpless.

Freya is right.

We must find a way to escape.

C
aptain Adrienne Elizabeth Rael strode out of an Advance Force briefing room over three hours after walking in. Behind her strolled Captain Royce Carter, yawning. “I'm so glad that went well,” he said brightly.

“Guess it did.” Adri's mind was still spinning from the long hours she had spent before the military council. The brief ‘talk' she'd had with Heedman early that morning resulted in exactly what Gray had predicted. In exchange for keeping silent on his less-than-stellar conduct towards her and the others that had died due to his cowardice, Heedman agreed to sponsor her for captaincy before the council. Adri still wasn't sure if it was the blackmail, or the fact that he thought her a ghost that had actually won his agreement. His pale face during the council meeting had displayed how unnerved he was, but from what, Adri couldn't tell. He had gone through with his end of the deal. After a carefully edited debriefing, Adri had been given what she wanted. Despite the fact that she had missed the formal interviews, the council had agreed that her service record, combined with her heroic injuries, warranted a promotion. With Heedman's sponsorship paving the way, Adri was now walking out of her first mission briefing as a ship's captain.

Captaincy was something she had strived for since entering the Academy. It was a respected position of authority. It gave her free reign to choose her own crew, plan her own missions. It was perfect. So why could she feel anger building?

Anger burned like a slow moving stream of acid through her veins. It wasn't from the sneers of the council members who thought she was inferior due to her lack of social standing. It wasn't from the need to blackmail her old superior. It certainly wasn't from the grudging way the council had granted her a ship. It wasn't even the mundane nature of the maiden voyage she had been immediately given. What it was, Adri couldn't quite define. But something about the mission briefing had struck her.

And, somehow, she had
known
. All the pieces dropped into place, leaving her staring at a finished puzzle that spelt a word she had never wanted to contemplate.

“Grayson!” Carter shouted, startling her out of her dark thoughts. “Come and greet the newest captain of the Galactic Commonwealth Advance Force!”

Gray rushed over from where he had been waiting by a window, smiling. Adri forced herself to put her revelation aside, and smiled back. With a fancy salute, Gray said, “Congratulations, Captain.”

“Thanks. Couldn't have done it without you,”

“You probably could. But it wouldn't have been pretty.”

Adri could feel his pleasure for her in warm, soothing waves. She tried to relax and listen to the lively replay of the meeting that Carter was giving. “It went rather well, all in all,” he was saying. “Heedman didn't stutter too much, and Admiral Appegus only made two rude comments. He looks so peculiar when he sneers, like he has something stuck in his back teeth, and is trying to smile without showing them.”

“Carter,” Adri hinted loudly, “Don't you have somewhere to be?”

Her old friend stared at her blankly a moment, and then grinned. “Yes! Thank you for reminding me,” he turned to Gray and explained hurriedly, “I've been given leave to pick my crew, and Leah Rachel Fayded's ship just arrived yesterday. I'm going to try to catch her before she leaves HQ.” And with that, he rushed off.

“That's the fastest I've ever seen him go,” Gray commented.

“He's really stuck on her,” Adri replied.

Gray nodded, turning back to look at her face. “What's wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

“You're upset about something, Adri. Did it not go as well as Carter said?”

“What makes you think I'm upset?”

Gray reached down for her hand and pushed back her sleeve, displaying the dark, vivid marks on her arms. “I saw them when your sleeve bunched up for a moment. They're much darker than they were this morning.”

Uncomfortable, Adri tugged her sleeve back down. “What of it?”

“I think your tattoos are connected with your anger. The more upset you are, the darker they become.”

Considering her emotional state as she left the briefing, she thought Gray's theory held merit. “You could be right.”

“So what has you angry, Adri?”

Adri shook her head. “Not now. I have to work it out for myself first.”

Gray nodded. Adri was relieved he didn't try to press. “So, Captain, what do you have planned for the rest of your day?”

The plan that had begun to form in her mind during the mission briefing flashed back. “The council has granted me a ship. My first order of business is to enlist my senior staff.”

“Got anyone in mind?”

“One or two,” Adri slanted him a look. “As my vice captain, I expect you to keep a thorough record of all prospects for the positions, as well as a list of suitable candidates. Understood?”

Gray's heart gave an unsteady jump in his chest. “Aye-aye, Captain.”

“Good,” Adri headed towards the front entrance of the council building. “I have a line on a good chief engineer.”

“I did not scream,” Duane argued as Gray forced a cup of laced tea into his hand. “Nor did I faint. I was understandably shocked to see you, and all other functions had to be rerouted to my brain.”

“You did scream, Duane,” Adri replied with a good-natured snicker. “And then you turned so white your skin was nearly my color.”

Duane gulped down a large portion of the tea. “Well, what do you expect? Danwe, L.C., you were supposed to be dead!”

“Well, I'm not. And I'm not a lieutenant commander anymore. You're going to have to get used to calling me captain now.”

“Captain?
Danwe
, you work fast!”

“And getting faster. So are you going to be my chief engineer?”

Duane rubbed his hands through his short crop of blue-black hair, his eyes huge. “Danwe, did I fall asleep and wake up in an alternate universe? First you're not dead, then you're promoted to captain, and now you want me to be your chief engineer?”

“That about sums it up,” Adri leaned back in the one chair in Duane's quarters that didn't have clothes dumped on it. “You in?”

“Danwe, yes!” Duane leaped up from the side of the bed and nearly tackled her to the floor in his enthusiasm. “I am your chief engineer, ma'am! This has to rank as the best day of my entire life!”

Duane started babbling in his native language and hugged her too tightly to breathe, so Gray stepped in. “We'll be glad to have you onboard.” Prying the paranthian's arms off of Adri, he led him back to the bed.

“When you're feeling sober enough to walk, head over to Carter's house. That's where I'm staying for now,” Adri said. “Gray and I have a few more stops to make before calling it a day.”

“Great, fantastic, yes, I'll see you there once I've convinced myself that this isn't a dream.”

Adri pulled a holoboard out of the pile of junk that littered Duane's dresser. She wrote a quick note, and then set it down beside him. “That ought to help. If we don't see you by tomorrow at 0700, we'll assume that you don't want to join in.”

“What happens at 0700?” Duane asked, following Adri and Gray out the door and into the barracks compound.

“We're inspecting the ship. You'll need to be there to get a good look at the engines.”

Duane looked as though he were about to break free of the planet's gravity. “Yes, ma'am!”

“So what time will he get there?” Gray asked as he and Adri left the compound a few minutes later.

“He'll show up around 2000 tonight,” Adri replied with a grin. It had been good to see Duane. As strange as it sounded, it was also good to see that she had been missed. “I figure that Blair would make a good ship's doctor,” she said, changing the topic.

“Are you sure you want him aboard?” Gray asked.

“Well, I can't imagine him letting me traipse off with my special abilities while he still thinks I can't control them, so we might as well put him to work.”

“Hmm,”

Adri shot a glance at Gray in confusion. “What's wrong with Blair?”

“Nothing.”

Still jealous?
Adri pondered that possibility for a moment, then shoved it aside. If Gray was jealous of Blair for some weird reason, that was his problem.

“Adri, did you have anything planned for the rest of this afternoon? You've only been on Halieth for two days. Any errands you need to run?” Gray inquired. They were now standing outside of HQ. The sun was shining, but clouds on the horizon hinted of another electrical storm.

“Not really. I do need to go over the lists of prospective staff members, but that's not pressing. Why?”

“I need to make a stop. I got a message from Floyd Tarkubunji, the man who's repairing the humacom I bought. He said that he's finished, and that I can come pick him up.”

Floyd disengaged the viewscreen and made his way out of the study. Absently, he rubbed his temple. His mind felt a little more engaged lately, which relieved him, and was currently busy working out a problem.

Escape.

He found his sister in their father's old workroom, wearing one of their mother's old day dressed in soft pink. The workroom was well lit, but cramped. Shelves and tables cluttered the room, each filled to bursting with schematic boards, loose wiring, welding lasers, and the odds and ends of humacom construction. In a roughly cleared space close to the door were stored the humacoms that WCRTL had returned to the estate after investigation. Of the twelve humacoms that had previously inhabited the Tarkubunji mansion, only three had been returned. Freya was standing over the smallest crate, her hand resting on the open lid. “It wounds my heart to see her like this.” she sighed.

Floyd looked down into the crate at the child-sized humacom inside. It's pale hair and facial features bore an uncanny resemblance to the two Tarkubunjis. The stillness made him think that the little girl was dead and in a coffin. “It hurts me too.”

Freya moved around to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You could always reactivate her,”

“I would have to reboot her whole system. The inspectors did a full memory search and wipe. She won't remember anything before activation.”

His sister made a sorrowing sigh, hugging him tight. It was comforting to know that she, at least, understood his pain. They stood together over the body of a childhood friend. At last Freya said, “When are you meeting the soldier?”

“Lieutenant Grayson just got back to me. He's on his way.”

“That's good,”

Floyd gave her a puzzled look. “Why do you say that?”

“I have a good premonition about him.”

The Tarkubunji estate was impressive. Even after passing through a security screening by the established system, both Adri and Gray were also subjected to a suspicious once over by an Army sergeant. The quarrelsome man fondled his twin stream ATF rifle as though his entire hand was itchy. Harboring the typical aura of superiority that most Advance Force troops felt towards the Army, Adri was pleased to crush his attitude with her new title. Once they were though the gate, it was still a two mile drive until they reached the main house.

“This place rivals Carter's,” she remarked after several long minutes of staring out the window at the impressive natural scenery. Carter had leant them one of his vehicles, a sleek silver sports cruiser that hovered low to the ground. It had probably cost more than Adri had spent on the Kobanes.

“Carter told me that their parents both prowled in the same social circles,” Gray replied. “I guess the Tarkubunjis have been humacom designers since the conception of the idea. The last two generations have been making big money working for a government sponsored institute. There was a big deal when the father of the current family committed suicide in his lab; and the humacom institution as a whole has taken a beating with the personality recall that's going on.”

Adri studied his ultra-serious profile for a moment. “The wealth and splendor making you nervous, Vice Captain?” she teased.

He grinned. “Perhaps a little. I grew up in the country, and I've never been much of a city dweller. But I am interested in the latest humacom dealings.”

“Yeah. I read about in on the shuttle from Kieve. A mass recall doesn't sound like a solid answer to the problem.”

Gray nodded, glancing away from the cruiser's controls to gauge her face. “No, it doesn't. When I first heard about it, it made me think…”

“Think what?” Adri asked when Gray didn't continue.

Her companion replied flatly, “Genocide.”

Adri was silent for the rest of the short drive. She was still brooding when Gray stopped the cruiser in front of the mansion's main entrance. Following Gray, she walked up the elegant flight of stairs and waited for Gray's buzz to be answered. Adri was still lost in thought when the door finally slid open to reveal a young woman in a long dress, with long golden hair.

She looked up absently, and for one curious second, thought she saw wings fanning out from the young woman's back. When she blinked, they were gone. Adri didn't have time to process the phenomenon, because the woman stared at her and gave a shrill cry of surprise.

Freya felt as though she had been stabbed through the stomach by shock! All of the strange events of the past months tumbled through her mind like clattering dice, resulting in the woman who squinted in vague curiosity at her. The premonition she had felt earlier that morning suddenly became clear.

Ayane had been right. Veranda had awoken.

And was currently occupying her doorstep.

Who really understands the workings of the universe? The longer I live in it, the more I realize I don't understand. The logic it follows leaves mortal logic at a constant loss. I am grateful for it. How else could I be allowed to have a second chance with the woman I love? Mortal logic dictated that she was dead, and I believed it. Now she is back, and I am happy to toss logic aside and embrace her return.