Authors: Shae Connor
And if he did… how could he make it happen?
Evan shook his head to dislodge the thoughts. It was too much to think about all at once. He’d been following the same path for so long that the idea of all that change was more than he could handle.
He needed time, and he needed space. And only one place could give him both.
C
ORY
DIDN
’
T
ask, but he kept sending meaningful glances Evan’s way as they headed east on the interstate. When Evan had shown up at Cory’s place a few hours earlier and said he wanted to go camping, Cory hadn’t even asked. He’d just made a phone call and packed a bag. Owning his own company gave Cory enough flexibility and income to take off on a random Wednesday without much issue. He’d call the office every day, and Evan would need to be back for his shoot on Saturday, but otherwise, three days of freedom stretched in front of them.
Their destination, naturally, was Jimmy’s resort. Adults-only and clothing-optional, the place stayed busy thanks to word of mouth and a few strategically placed ads, but Evan knew that he could almost always get a place to stay, especially during the week like this. In addition to traditional RV spaces and an area for tents, Oasis had a small cluster of rustic cabins, short on amenities but long on privacy, and unless he was completely overrun with demand, Jimmy usually held one of those back for friends.
Evan kept his eyes on the road, one finger lightly drumming the steering wheel in time to the dance mix playing on the satellite radio. They’d taken Cory’s car, as usual, with its lower mileage and greater comfort than Evan’s older model, but Evan had grabbed the keys, not willing to sit back and relax while Cory drove.
Even though Cory and Evan had never been lovers in the traditional sense, no one knew Evan better. Sometimes Evan forgot there had ever been a time they hadn’t been friends, and one of Evan’s favorite things about Cory was that he knew when to shut up. He had a naturally bubbly personality, and when Evan needed it, no one was better at drawing him out, cheering him up, showing him a good time. But Cory also was that rare friend who could sit with Evan and
not
talk. And it was obvious he knew that was what Evan needed.
Leaving Atlanta at midmorning meant the drive to the resort took only an hour, instead of close to twice that if they’d been caught in rush-hour traffic. Evan took the lonely exit and turned right, driving another mile before he reached the entrance off to the left. A small, tastefully designed sign read “Oasis” in script lettering and shades of blue and green. It looked more like the entrance to a high-end spa than a gay resort, despite the accompanying black-and-orange sign reading “Private Property: Keep Out.”
The paved entrance gave way almost immediately to gravel, and Evan steered his way carefully down the winding driveway and pulled up in front of the main building. Half office and half social space, the bungalow-style structure overlooked the small lake on the grounds from the back deck, and every weekend night, there was an open bar and dance music for anyone who wanted to come out of their love nests for a while before diving back in for the night. A second building next to it, attached by a wide walkway, held Jimmy’s personal living space.
Evan waited in the car while Cory ducked inside to greet Jimmy and get the keys to their cabin. Evan knew the space would have little more than a bed, a bathroom, and a couple of chairs, but that was fine, since most guests only used the cabins for sleeping, showering, and fucking. Otherwise, they’d be at the pool or partying in the social area. A few well-maintained trails circled the lake, too, and there were even clearings where couples could indulge urges for outdoor sex.
Cory was back in minutes with a key in his hand, a smile on his face, and a spark in his eye that told Evan he’d have the room to himself that night. Living separately like they did, Cory and Jimmy rarely slept apart when they were in the same place, and it looked like they planned to take full advantage of Cory’s impromptu visit.
“Cabin eight,” Cory said. Evan restarted the car and headed down the path to the last cabin on the left, knowing exactly where to go from his previous visits. The cabin was right next to one of the hot tubs—the property had two—which was handy but also meant any late-night activity might keep him awake. No matter. He was here for the distraction, not the rest.
Cory wasn’t going to let things go, though. They’d barely gotten inside with their bags and the cooler full of beer they’d brought along before Cory flopped down into one of the chairs by the window and pinned Evan with his bright blue eyes. “We might as well get the hard part over first, babe,” he said. “You wanna tell me why you’re running away?”
Evan opened his mouth, a denial on his tongue, but Cory lifted a hand. “Don’t even try it. You might be able to pull the wool over the eyes of most people, but I know you better than that.”
All the fight went out of Evan, and he flopped down on the end of the bed. “I don’t even know where to start.”
Cory gave him a small smile at that. “I hear the beginning is a good place.”
A
N
HOUR
and two beers apiece later, Evan stopped talking, his throat and emotions raw. Cory was probably the only person in his life who could get him to spill his guts with so little effort, in part because he so rarely tried to force anything. Not for the first time, a part of Evan wished he could’ve fallen for Cory. It had to be easier than feeling like he did about Riley.
It didn’t take Cory long to respond to Evan’s logorrhea. “You need to tell him everything, babe.”
Evan rolled his eyes over the top of the bottle as he drained the last of his second beer. Swallowing, he set the bottle down on the table between them, harder than he intended.
“Easy for you to say.” He folded his arms on the tabletop. “Even without all the family shit we’re both dealing with, it’s not like I’ve been on my best behavior around him. And that’s without getting into the porn thing.”
Cory snorted. “That ‘porn thing’ is a job, Evan, just like any other. It’s what you do, not who you are. It doesn’t define you unless you let it.”
Evan knew that. He’d said the same thing to others himself over the years he’d been in the industry. He’d never been ashamed of his career before he met Riley, and Riley didn’t seem to have a problem with it. Riley had teased Mikey about the amount he watched, but he’d never said anything bad about porn in general, or about the people who made it. Hell, he’d even slept with Evan again after he found out what he did for a living.
Evan lowered his head to rest on his arms. “I haven’t felt this screwed up about anything in so long. I don’t even know what it is about the guy. He’s so far from my usual type.” He barked out a short laugh. “Maybe he’s an incubus or something. Got me under his spell.”
Evan didn’t have to see Cory’s face to hear the grin in his voice. “Well, at least you’re laughing about it. Better than the doldrums of the last couple of weeks.”
Evan looked up then. “Shit, man, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was
bringing everyone else down.” He felt like crap for that, but Cory
waved off his apology.
“No worries, babe. Not like we haven’t all had our turn being drama queens, some in louder ways than others.” He pushed to his feet. “Why don’t we forget all this for a while and hit the pool instead? It’ll keep. Not like you’d be able to do much of anything about anything until we get back to the city anyway.”
A wave of affection for Cory washed over Evan, surprising him. Had he been so numb for so long that something so simple could make him feel so much? And hell, if it could, then what else had he been missing out on?
One more thing to think about, but not now. Cory was changing into his swim trunks, and Evan reached for his duffel bag to get his. A little sun and fun would do him a world of good, and then he’d be better prepared to deal with the rest of it.
A
N
AFTERNOON
spent poolside followed by a meal of grilled steaks and loaded baked potatoes—cooked by Jimmy and served on the deck
by the lake, of course—left Evan pleasantly exhausted enough that he only
woke once during the night. He didn’t remember the nightmare, just the feel of his own heart pounding and the residual adrenaline of some nonspecific fear.
He woke the second time to Cory’s voice.
“Wakey wakey, eggs and bac-ey!”
Evan groaned and pushed his face harder into his pillow, but Cory wasn’t going anywhere. He opened the blinds facing the bed, flooding the room with sunlight. “Breakfast waits for no man, mister! Get your fine little ass up and moving.”
Evan opened one eye and glared. “Whose ass you callin’ ‘little’?” He shook the backside in question, and Cory laughed and gave it a smack.
“All right, all right, so it’s one of the most perfect bubble butts ever. Happy now? Get up, get up! I’m hungry!”
“Jesus.” Evan rolled over and pulled the pillow over his face. “Why are you always so energetic after you spend the night fucking your brains out? Shouldn’t you be worn out?”
“Endorphins, man! They’re the best!” Cory plopped down on the mattress and rolled on top of Evan. “Get uuuuuuuup! Jimmy’s not gonna move until he’s got more than just me to cook for.”
“Ugh.” Evan shoved at Cory until he fell onto the mattress next to him. “How come
you
get the sex but
I’m
the one who gets yanked out of bed early?”
“You must’ve been a bad boy in a former life.” Cory sprang up from the bed and headed into the bathroom. “I’ll get the shower started for you.” He disappeared behind the door. “Hurry it up!”
“Ugh,” Evan repeated. He wanted nothing more than to curl up around his pillow and go right back to sleep, but Cory in postcoital mode was relentless. Hell, he was relentless about 90 percent of the time anyway, and if the past five years had taught Evan anything, it was that he wouldn’t be denied.
Giving in to the inevitable, Evan rolled out of bed and headed for the shower, shoving off his shorts as he went. Cory had seen it all and then some anyway.
B
REAKFAST
WAS
equal parts delicious and a little slice of hell.
“So are you in love with the kid or what?”
Evan laid his fork down on his plate and reached for his mimosa. He needed another dose of champagne to get him through this.
“First off, he’s not a kid,” he finally said. “He’s twenty-seven. Two years older than me. And second of all, I’m not in love with him, okay? You can just back off of that. I like him, yeah. He’s funny, and yeah, I know what he looks like, but he’s not some vapid twink who can’t see beyond reality TV and the latest Gaga single.”
Cory nudged him with his knee under the table. “Bet he’s a little monster in bed.”
Evan kicked Cory in reply, but gently. “He’s great in bed,” he admitted. “And, um….” He hesitated to admit it. “And he’s plenty aggressive, but….”
Jimmy sat straighter at that. “Wait, you’re saying he hasn’t fucked you?”
Evan shook his head, focusing his eyes on his plate. “I mean, we haven’t had sex a lot or anything. Only twice, really. And he said he tops. But he hasn’t made a move in that direction. He’s pretty damn active, but….”
“Hmmm.” Evan could feel Jimmy studying him. “Would you be okay if he never topped?”
Evan shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know. I bottom on camera, so I get it that way.”
“And if you stop doing porn?”
Evan did look at Jimmy then. “Who said anything about quitting porn?”
Jimmy gave him a smirk and a raised eyebrow. “Honey, just about everyone quits porn eventually. Or quits doing
just
porn, anyway. How many guys over forty do you see still hanging around? Hell, how many guys last as long as you have? There’s a reason they call it porn ‘modeling.’ The older you get, the less likely you are to get booked.”
Evan shook his head. “I mean, yeah, I know all that. But I’m only twenty-five.”
“And that’s five years older than you were when you started,” Cory pointed out. He reached for his mimosa. “We’re not saying it’s time to hang up your jockstrap, babe. Just pointing out that you will need to do something else eventually. And if you aren’t getting fucked at home, is that gonna be a problem?”
Evan honestly didn’t know. He considered it while he ate a piece of bacon. He’d thought of himself as mostly a bottom since the first time he and Lucas had sex, even though he’d topped sometimes. Riley had been the one to climb on board their first time around, and the second time, Evan had been feeling toppy. But Riley
had
made that flip-flop comment, after all.
“Have you considered asking Riley about it?”
Evan gave Jimmy a look. “I hadn’t considered
any
of it until you two started digging into me,” he retorted. “And it’s all kind of moot if Riley decides he doesn’t want me, isn’t it?”
Jimmy snorted. “You’re assuming that because he got pissed off one time. You haven’t so much as tried to call him since then. You need to stop assuming and start doing.”
Evan laughed. “I’m having that printed on a T-shirt.”
Jimmy swallowed his last bite of eggs. “T-shirts, bumper stickers, tattoos, do whatever the hell you want with it. As long as you
do it
.” He stood. “C’mon. Help me clean this shit up, and I’ll give you a massage. You could use a little relaxation.”
Evan lifted an eyebrow. “You gotta be kidding me.”
Jimmy laughed as he set his plate in the sink. “Seriously. You gonna turn down a free massage?”
“Is this a straight massage, or—”
Jimmy cocked his hips. “Ain’t nothin’ about me straight, honeychild, you know that. And yeah, the happy ending’s standard. Like I said, you need to
relax
.”
Evan hesitated. It wasn’t as if Jimmy hadn’t seen it all. When Cory had first suggested that Evan try porn, Jimmy had been the one to offer to show him the ropes. “Break him in,” as he’d said.