I felt how great we seemed to fit together and frowned at Grams because I loved that
feeling and she’d made me terrified of it.
She ignored my frown, lifted her hand and called, “Darla! Child, bring us the check,
would you?”
Darla, our waitress, like she did every Sunday when Grams called for the check, scurried
to do the matriarch of Willow’s bidding.
* * * * *
An hour and fifteen minutes later…
“You wanna tell me what’s on your mind?”
We’d just dropped off Grams. After a glass of sweet tea (well, Raiden and Grams
had one
, I had diet root beer)
,
Raiden was taking me home.
I turned to look at him and asked, “Sorry?”
“You’ve been weird since the Pancake House.”
“I’m tired,” I replied
.
N
ot exactly a lie, just not the whole truth.
“I get you home, you rest. I gotta go out and do something and when I get back I’ll
bring a pizza. But after pizza, babe, you gotta have energy.”
I felt my nether regions quiver as I looked to the windshield.
I forced down that feeling and asked, “Does this something you have to do have to
do with your crew and drug dealers?”
“No, it has to do with another job
,
but that has to do with my crew. Just not drug dealers.”
This was an answer
,
but it still wasn’t.
I didn’t call him on that.
I just mumbled, “Oh.”
“Change of plans tonight,” he stated. “Pizza, me sharin’ about what I do, then I’ll
test the recuperative powers of the nap you’re about to take.”
I turned to him, “R
aiden
—
”
He cut me off, “I tell you, it’ll be honest. It’ll freak you out, but you’ll deal.”
Holy Moses.
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“It means I got out, assessed my talents, made decisions about what I wanted to do,
I’m doin’ it. What I do might come as a shock to you
,
but then you’ll get over it,” he declared.
There were more words there
,
just no explanation.
“Uh, just FYI, this discussion is not conducive to me getting a nap,” I shared.
He gave me a quick glance and grinned.
“Right then. I’ll tell you I did all the work last night
.
I’m in the mood to test you to see what you can do
,
and just a guess, honey, but I ‘spect you’ll wanna pass.”
He would guess correctly.
But that comment also wasn’t conducive to me getting a nap.
We were pulling up to the front of my house so I turned fully toward him.
“Raiden, I
—
”
His belt zipped back and he undid mine
. H
is hand wrapped around the back of my neck and he pulled me to him. My hand came up
automatically and crashed into his chest
,
then I did, scrunching my hand between us.
“What I do isn’t bad,” he said quietly. “It isn’t conventional but it isn’t bad.”
“Okay, so now I’m not totally freaking out, I’m only kinda freaking out,” I replied.
“Babe, a day ago, you found out two of your friends played you. You freaked out, felt
the pain, sucked it up, hung up on that fucker when he tried to phone and moved on.
You take care of your grandmother
,
not like it’s a burden like everybody else would treat it, but a boon. That translates
to her so she doesn’t feel the burden of being a burden and she can just enjoy the
life God’s seen fit to grant her. What I do is what I do. It’s part of who I am
. I
t came from what life threw at me and you’re gonna suck it up and deal with that too.”
This was a cool speech
,
but it was also a scary one.
So I asked a pertinent question.
“What’s happening here?”
“I’m about to kiss you good-bye, you’re about to take a nap
,
and in a few hours I’ll be back with pizza.”
“I mean with you and me.”
His eyes held mine, his hand slid up into hair and his other hand lifted to wrap around
the side of my neck as he replied gently, “You know the answer to that.”
I had a feeling I did
,
and it exhilarated and terrified me.
“Raiden, maybe we should
—
”
“If you’re gonna say slow things down, baby, enjoy this because this is as slow as
it’s gonna get.”
I felt my eyes get wide.
“Yeah,” he confirmed to my unspoken cry of shock. “If you can take it tonight, I’ll
explain that too.”
“Now there’s no way I’m getting a nap,” I mumbled.
“You wake up happy?” Raiden asked and I blinked at him.
Then I whispered, “Yeah.”
“I did too. When was the last time for you?”
“The last time, what?”
“The last time you woke up happy.”
Oh God.
Before him, I wasn’t unhappy. I also wasn’t exactly happy.
What I knew was this: waking up in Raiden’s bed, I
definitely
was happy.
“I don’t remember,” I admitted.
“Me either,” he replied.
Oh
God.
I liked that and hated it. I understood it just as much as I didn’t. I wanted to know
why he wasn’t happy just as much as I was scared to find out.
“Raiden
—
”
“We’re holding onto that,” he declared
,
and like it had a mind of its own my hand slid up his chest to curl around the side
of his neck like it was answering his statement for me and doing it by agreeing.
He knew it, felt it and understood it.
Therefore, he stated in his rough, commanding voice, “Yeah.”
I dropped my head to his shoulder.
He was right.
Yeah.
I knew what was happening here.
His hand slid out of my hair so he could wrap his arm around me. “What do you like
on your pizza?”
“Everything but onions, peppers, sausage, pineapple, ham, anchovies and olives.”
His voice was smiling when he remarked, “So you’re sayin’ you like pepperoni and mushroom
only.”
I lifted my head and looked at him. “I like all that stuff, just not on pizza. All
that stuff makes it complicated. I’m into simple pleasures.”
His amazing eyes warmed and his amazing lips murmured, “I’ll remember that.”
I could get lost in those eyes. I
wanted
to get lost in those eyes.
But I needed to stay on target.
“Can you tell me something?” I asked suddenly.
His eyes got warmer and his smile hit his lips when he replied, “I can tell you that
you asking me if I can tell me something is the same as you askin’ me if you can ask
me somethin’
. I
n other words, you don’t have to ask.”
“Noted,” I muttered.
“So ask, I’ll tell,” he prompted.
“Whatever you’re going off to do, are you safe?”
His smile faded and I stared in horrified fascination as it did.
Holy Moses!
I’d been guessing!
“It isn’t safe?” This came out as a squeak.
“We’ll talk about it later.”
“Holy Moses!” I cried, no longer semi-freaked
.
I was gone.
“Hanna, we’ll talk about it later.”
“Will you be
back
later?” I asked, borderline hysterically.
His smile came back. “Yeah.”
“Just pointing out, Raiden, you’re about to drop me off, telling me to take a nap
but you’ve got some things to share with me later that you told me straight up I have
to
deal with.
Then you intimate
strongly
that whatever it is you do is unsafe
,
and you’re off to do whatever it is you do
right now.
S
o I’m not in the mood to smile nor am I in the mood to watch you do it, no matter
how hot you are when you do.”
He didn’t quit smiling.
Instead, he asked, “You wanna talk more about us going slower now?”
Was he serious?
I tore out of his arms, twisted to the door and threw it open, announcing, “Time for
my nap!”
I found an arm hooked around my waist and was twisted back into the Jeep and Raiden’s
arms, this time both of which he locked around me.
Then his eyes locked on mine.
“I’ll be back safe and you’ll be cool with what I do, Hanna,” he declared firmly.
“Right. I believe you. But can I make the request now that I have at least a date
number five before you rock my world again?”
Another grin then, “I think I can accomplish that.”
“I’d be obliged.”
“You wanna quit bein’ cute so I can let you go, you can get your nap and I can get
this shit done?”
“I’ll remind you not a minute ago I tried to exit this vehicle
,
but you hauled me back.”
“I’ll take that as a no.”
I glared.
Raiden kept smiling.
Then he muttered strangely, “My reward.”
I lost my glare and asked, “Sorry?”
He lifted up, kissed my forehead and whispered there, “Nothin’, baby.” Then he pulled
away, ordering, “Go. Rest.”
I needed to go
.
I hoped I could rest
,
but I studied him a moment before I leaned in to touch my mouth to his.
His arms came around me, his mouth opened over mine and my touch became a hot, heavy
kiss.
Raiden broke it and ordered again, “Go.”
“Okay,” I mumbled. He let me go and I went.
I stood at the door in numero uno of my Sunday’s finest dresses (I
did
go to church with Raiden Ulysses Miller) and waved.
He didn’t wave back
,
but I did see him smile.
I closed the door and wandered up the stairs, listening to his Jeep drive away.
I took off my heels by the side of the bed. I climbed in, pulled an afghan over me
(mine, not cashmere but still lush) and stared at my pillow
,
thinking this was how it felt.
This was how it felt when something huge was happening.
It felt fantastic.
And I was scared out of my wits.
Chapter Eleven
Criminal
That evening…
I sat tucked into the corner of my frou-frou, fluffy, girlie, cutesie couch in my
countrified, quirky living room and watched Raiden, who’d just gone to the kitchen
to get his second beer, fold his long body at the other end.
The pizza was annihilated, that always awkward sliver of a slice the only piece left.
Raiden had got it from the place in town so it was the best and I was hungry so I
tucked in, forgetting (momentarily, like always) about the little
stomach pouch
I needed to get gone.
It was a minor miracle, considering all that was on my mind, but I’d managed a two
hour nap.
Then the phone started ringing.
Apparently, the town of Willow had decided they’d given me enough time to cope, that
time was up
,
so all and sundry called to check if I was okay after the Bodhi and Heather debacle.
This invariably segued into digging for gold, thus most of them asked if it was true,
since I was seen at Chilton’s, Rachelle’s, the Deluxe and at church with him
;
if I was seeing Raiden Ulysses Miller
It was not lost on me that things were moving fast with Raiden
,
but regardless I knew very little about him. However, I sensed he was the kind of
man who would not be fond of people in his business. So although I confirmed what
me being seen all over town with Raiden stated, since it was the truth, I didn’t get
into any details. After that, I explained the last few days had been trying, I was
exhausted and I needed some time to process it all.
Luckily, the folks of Willow were kind
,
so they left it at that. Unfortunately, there were a lot of residents of Willow I
knew since I’d lived my whole life there
,
so that message didn’t get relayed quickly enough before others picked up the phone
and called.