Undraland (24 page)

Thirty.

Cursed

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” I said for the third time.

“But his face! It looked like you’d just slapped him.”

I gripped the rock wall and tried to heft myself up, yet again. “Well, I didn’t. No point in getting all weepy with him just because we have to spend a whopping day apart. He’s fine. I’m fine. It’s this stupid wall that’s pissing me off.”

Jamie sighed. “If you’d just let me help you…”

My shoulders sagged in defeat. It was so dark out; I could barely see more than a few feet in front of me. Henry Mancini was getting impatient, and so was I. He nipped at my heels, agitating me further. “Do you think this is easy, pup? Just be patient. I can do it. Foss is wrong about me. I’m not a useless rat.” I gripped the almost flat side of the mountain and tried to find purchase on it somewhere so I could go up to the path above us. It was a good two feet taller than Jamie, but if we could get up there, it would save us nearly a day’s walk around the mountain’s path that wound slowly up.

After my fourth fall, I gave up. “Fine. I can’t do it. It’s impossible anyway. If you want to try lifting me up, I guess that would be okay. But then how will you get up?”

“I’ll manage.” Jamie smiled and placed his hands around my waist, hoisting me up like I was a toy. Henry Mancini came up next, and before I’d dusted myself off and turned around to offer a hand up, Jamie was already on his knees behind me.

“How did you do that?”

Jamie chuckled. “How useless do you think Tomten aristocracy is? Jens is my best friend, you forget. He’s an excellent teacher.”

We walked down the rocky path, grateful that we’d skipped the extra travel time. It was well past nightfall, so we walked slower to avoid, you know, falling over the side of a cliff. I tried not to think about how high up we were. It helped that I couldn’t see much. “When is it safe to set up camp?” I asked nonchalantly, as if I had tons of energy and didn’t need to rest at all.

The hesitation in Jamie was clear. “I guess now is fine.”

We felt around for the nearest cave and ducked inside. I pulled out two apples and stale biscuits for us, and we munched in the dark while we tried not to let our anxiety take us over. The air was crisp, but the dark inside the cave was suffocating. I was grateful for the slice of illumination the giant red moon provided us.

The discomfort was thick between us, so I decided to step on the elephant in the room’s toe. “You’re afraid to sleep in front of me, aren’t you.”

He looked down at his crusty biscuit dejectedly. “Jens told you?”

“Uncle Rick did. It’s fine. I know about the pressure point. I’m actually not tired yet. How about I take first watch? Then if you go all serial killer on me, I’ll catch it in time.”

The shame was palpable in Jamie, even in the dark. He said nothing and refused to look at me as he drank from his canteen. Henry Mancini licked his hand, knowing exactly what Jamie needed in that moment.

“You don’t like that I know your secrets,” I stated. “Jens watched me for years, so he knows all mine.” I poked at a rock to make sure it didn’t move on its own. “I hate that.”

“Jens is a good man.” Jamie lay down on his back and stared up at the ceiling of the cave. “He was only doing his job. You shouldn’t hate him for that.”

I shrugged, leaning against the dank wall, my legs next to his torso. His head rested next to my hand, which had fallen to my side. “I don’t hate him. It just sucks, is all. Hard to be a creature of mystery when he’s seen me at my worst.”

“And yet he’s still smitten with you.”

My nose crinkled. “I hate to break it to you, but he’s not smitten. We fight all the time. We’re easing into it.”

Jamie chuckled, his tension lessening. “I hate to break it to
you
, but that’s what Jens looks like when he’s smitten. His mind’s been made up for a long time about you. The ‘easing in’ is for your sake alone.”

“I guess I’ll have to take your word for it. I’m only just meeting him for the first time.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Jamie informed me with a hint of teasing to his tone. He kept his eyes on the ceiling. “You’ve met Jens before all this. The day after your eighteenth birthday. You were getting your car fixed.”

I could hear every breath echo on the walls of the cave. “Come again? I think I would’ve remembered meeting him.”

Jamie paused before revealing a secret that didn’t belong to him. “He was in the waiting room, fully visible, pretending he was there for a tire rotation. You wore a green shoe and a pink shoe, jeans and a brown shirt that said ‘What Moose?’ on it. You were reading Pride and Prejudice and he asked you to pass him the Motorists Monthly magazine from the rack. You said, ‘At least they got their alliteration spot on.’ And then he said, ‘I could say the same for your book.’ You said, ‘Touché’, and he hid behind his magazine for the entire hour that it took for them to fix your car.”

My mouth was hanging open. “Um, that sounds pretty specific. Were you there, too?”

Jamie laughed softly. “No, but I felt like I was. For the next month, he told Britt and me the story dozens of times, obsessing about what he should have said. Apparently your brother laughed at him for being such a coward. The Linus one, not the Charles one.” He sighed, shifting on the ground and petting Henry Mancini, who was snuggled between my legs and his shoulder. “Give Jens a troll, and he’ll fight it without a blink. Give him the girl of his dreams, and he’ll run away like a scared little boy.”

“Wow. I… um, I don’t know what to say to that. Is that really true? I don’t remember it.”

“It’s very true. He got in a lot of trouble from Alrik and your parents for appearing in front of you.” He nudged my leg with his elbow. “Does that level the playing field a little, now that you know one of his secrets?”

I smirked, touching the toe of my shoe to his hip. “A little. Thanks.”

“Why don’t you tell me one of your secrets?”

I scoffed. “You’ve already proven yourself a terrible snitch. Why should I?”

I could see Jamie’s hand gesturing about. “Because it would be your choice to share something instead of me just knowing.”

Considering this, I tried to think of a good enough secret that I was willing to share. “I had a plant,” I began.

Oh, boy.

“A little fern that I bought when I moved into the apartment I was last at. Before my best friend Tonya moved in, I lived alone for a few weeks.” My voice lowered, as if the night might laugh at me. “I used to talk to the fern and pretend it was my dad.”

Jamie was quiet, which was better than being laughed at, for sure.

“I promised myself that I would put down roots. That I would save up and buy an actual house with a white picket fence and everything that’s normal. I’d plant that fern in the front yard so my dad could see where I landed. Until that happened, I was determined to keep it alive until my dream came true.” I ruffled Henry Mancini’s ear. “Fat lot of good that was. Burned to the ground the day I met Jens. All my normal always goes up in flames.”

“And you blame Jens for taking away your fern father?”

I huffed. “Not on purpose. It’s just a lot to take. I’m not mad at him anymore. It’s just sad. My first promise to myself when I started out on my own, and it’s a lost cause. I couldn’t keep my family alive. I couldn’t even keep a fern alive. Sucks.”

He paused out of respect for my fern, which I appreciated. “I’m very sorry to hear about your fern’s passing.” He covered the toe of my shoe with his hand and squeezed.

“Thanks. Okay, your turn. I want a juicy secret this time.”

Jamie’s large hand ghosted over Henry Mancini, who had turned his head and rested his snout on my leg. “How about a secret only a few people know? Would that work?”

“Sure. Give it a crack. I’m all ears.”

He was thoughtful and quiet as he spoke through the darkness. “I can trust you to keep this between us? Jens, Britt, Alrik and my family know, but no one else.”

I reached down and patted his forehead. Then my fingers drifted into his curly brown locks to soothe him. “Cross my heart.”

“I’m guessing you know I killed my mother when I was born?”

“That’s a terrible way to put it, Jamie.”

He shrugged. “She was cursed, and it passed onto me.”

“Uncle Rick mentioned something about that.” I’d never put much stock in curses, but here in this mythological place, I’m guessing they were as real as anything.

Jamie’s voice spoke to the ceiling, sounding like his mind was picturing his memory in vivid detail. “It’s customary for the king to ride out with his men into battle. Inspire them and let them know they’re not alone. When I came of age in my eighteenth year, I was sent into battle in his stead. My father has always been finding ways to kill me. This betrothal? It’s to wage war on the Nisse people.”

“How’s that?” I scooted closer so his head was resting against my hip as I played with his hair.

“Freya knows nothing of my affliction. Not many do. On the surface, this is supposed to be a move to unite our two kingdoms, but father knows I will attack Freya in my sleep. He knows I would kill her. I’ve told him as much, but he insists it must be done. We need more land for farming, and this is how I’ll fulfill my duty to my people. I’ll kill her in my sleep, Nisse land will belong to me, and I will be hunted for the rest of my days as the Nisse try in vain to take back their land.” He paused and focused on the feel of my fingers in his hair, trying to relax through the painful story.

“And if you just turn her down and don’t marry her, that’ll cause a big rift too, right?”

“Indeed. Either way, division. Both times, my fault. Cursed, I am. To the very end of my days, it seems.”

I thought on this a moment. “Wow. I don’t know what to say to that. I friggin’ hate your dad, that’s for sure. Who would use their kid like that?” The stillness in the cave became awkward. “Look, I know your culture keeps men and women separate, but mine isn’t like that. Can I hug you? It seems like you need it.”

Jamie sat up slowly, and in the faint crimson glow from the moonlight, his modest smile endeared me to him. “I would be honored.”

“I’m so, so sorry,” I crooned as I wrapped my arms around him. My head landed on his shoulder when he enveloped me in his embrace. He was so big, and in that moment, I felt small and safe.

I missed my dad. Though Jamie was not that much older than me, the comfort in his embrace filled that void. I held onto Jamie, grateful I was not alone in the dark of my life anymore.

I whispered, so as not to break the tenderness of the moment. “When the time comes, I’ll help Jens sneak you out. You and Britta both. You two can come live with me. We’ll figure this out.”

His chest moved with the wave of a chuckle. “You sound exactly like Jens. I think I’m past hope at this point. Curses are not meant to be so easily undone. But I appreciate your concern for my happiness.”

“Hey, don’t knock it. I’m pretty stubborn when I want something.”

Jamie leaned on the wall of the cave and ran his hand over my hair as I shifted next to him in our friendly snuggle. “Very well. When we get to your land, what will I do there?”

“I imagine you’ll lay low for a while until you get the hang of things over there. Learn how to blend. Make up for lost time with Britta.”

“Ah, but that’s where there’s a flaw in the plan. Her parents left for the Land of Be before they gave her permission to marry. She’s stuck as I am stuck. No man would be able to marry her without her father’s permission.”

My nose wrinkled. “That’s not a thing where I come from. Get yourself a job, and you can marry her as soon as Jens gets you papers that say you live there.”

He frowned. “I’m certain you are oversimplifying things.”

“Nope. You can marry whoever you want, Jamie. I’ll be there to make sure it happens just as easy as that. You can have Queen Lucy’s blessing. How about that?”

He tucked my head under his chin as he pondered my promise of a better life.

“Her parents left her knowing she could never get married? That’s cold.”

“Indeed. Yet she’s remarkably warm-hearted for being dismissed so. She was always playing with knives with Jens instead of stitching and learning to bake bread.” He had a small smile when he spoke about her outcast ways. “Most men were put off by that, but the first time she and Jens took me hunting, I found I couldn’t look anywhere else for happiness. She’s simply the perfect woman, salty bread and all.”

There was a rustle outside the cave, and Henry Mancini was on his feet, snarling at the entrance. “Is that them?” I whispered.

“No.” With calculated movements and tensed muscles, Jamie reached for his pack and pulled out a machete in a leather sheath. He slid it out, and my skin turned to ice. “Hold still.”

I ceased all movement. I may have even stopped breathing. I watched as Jamie slid between me and the disturbance, machete clutched to his chest. Henry Mancini barked at the entrance to the cave, marking us as his territory.

It happened so fast, I could scarcely process it. Twigs were snapping, and then the largest bear I’d ever seen rounded the corner. His fur was black and shiny in the moonlight. His paws were almost as big as my head. His mouth had foam dripping down his chest like honey. The eyes. The terrifying yellow eyes gleamed with rabid insanity directly at me.