Undersold (7 page)

“Then let’s get out of here.”

He shook his head again. “I need to think about this. More importantly, I need you to think about this. Really think about what it would mean to be with me. The sneaking around, and the secrecy. I wouldn’t want you to even tell your family or your friends, at least not for awhile.”

That would be really hard, I realized. I could be with Shane Green, but I couldn’t tell anyone about it, not even those closest to me. I could feel my doubt nagging at me again, and stayed quiet. It would be the hardest not telling Darcy, but everyone else I could manage pretty easily. Or at least I hoped so.

“Alright, let’s get out of here. I’ll take you home,” he said after a minute of silence went by.

I nodded and he let go of my hand. He motioned for the waiter, who came and cleared the table, and returned with the check. Shane paid, nodded to the manager, and we left.

My thoughts were all over as we climbed into his car and the driver headed back toward my apartment. Why is he so obsessed with his privacy? Is he just ashamed of me, or is he seeing other women? I hated that I had these thoughts, and I hated that I felt like I didn’t trust him. But what did I really know about his life, aside from his company, and the few things he told me? I knew mostly about personal interests, favorite books and movies, and a rough sketch of his early years, but almost nothing specific about his family or his friends. I didn’t know where he grew up or what his parents did for a living.

I did know that he was notoriously private, and that fact existed before he met me. It was possible he really did hate publicity as much as he said he did, and truly meant it when he said he feared the strain that kind of life would put me under. I’d never been remotely famous, or had to deal with any kind of public attention. I’d always been quiet, and floated through school on my own. Darcy was the person closest to me, but before her I had very few friends.

We rode in the car in silence, but half way back to my apartment, he reached out and took my hand. Our eyes met but we didn’t say anything, and he leaned across the seat to kiss me softly on the mouth. It wasn’t the hungry kiss from the office, but something much sweeter, and caring. His lips were soft against mine, and my body vibrated for him. He pulled away and smiled again, then looked back out the window. I could feel the distance open up between us, but I didn’t understand it. I wanted to ask what he was thinking, but something about the moment told me silence was a better idea.

We pulled out front of my apartment, and we climbed out of the car together. He walked me to my front door in silence. On the stoop, he wrapped me in his arms, and I pressed myself against his hard, sculpted body.

“Think about it, Amy,” he said, then kissed me again. This time, we kissed for longer, a bit more of that hunger leaking in between us. I wanted him to take me upstairs and fuck me hard, forget about all of this. I kept my body pressed against him until he broke away.

“Goodnight,” he said and stepped away.

“Goodnight, Shane.” He waved, and got back into the car. I turned and unlocked my front door and went inside. When the door closed, his car started to pull away.

My mind was a mess of conflicting emotions and ideas. I climbed my stairs, went into my apartment, and flopped down on my couch. I wanted to call Darcy and tell her everything, but I couldn’t. And it hit me then, how hard it would be keeping Shane a secret. It would be isolating. Even though I was pretty self-contained, I usually talked most big things through with Darcy. I needed at least that one small outlet. But if Shane and I decided to move forward, I wouldn’t have an outlet for my feelings, I would never be able to discuss it with anyone.

I
didn’t see Shane much for the next few days. We still had to work together on my project, but it was mostly through email and IM. During the two very brief one on one meetings we had, we met in an open office with glass doors, and things were tense but professional between us. We didn’t talk about our relationship.

After that dinner, I spent all night thinking about him. I read and reread his texts, over and over, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was embarrassed of me. It was the way he was so insistent about not being seen with me in public. Maybe I misinterpreted what he had said, but it was how I felt. I know he said it was for my own protection, but I could make my own decisions. I was an adult now. Plus, why would a man like him, who could have anyone he wanted, break his rules for someone like me?

It didn’t make any sense. I could feel myself starting to convince myself that he was seeing other women, and I didn’t know how I felt about that. Well, I did know, and I was jealous. But I didn’t own him, and we weren’t exclusive, so what could I do? If he wanted to see other people, and was ashamed of me, then I’d have to back off.

Despite my reservations, I still looked forward to every conversation, even if it was about work. We had chemistry and neither of us could deny it, which actually made working together easy. He often finished my sentences, and I was predicting what he would want next and doing it before he even had to ask. Tension aside, he was by far the easiest person to work with I had ever met.

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“B
een seeing a lot of Mr. Green, haven’t you?” Linda poked her head around our partition and made me jump. I don’t know why I was on edge, and I hadn’t gotten used to the open office vibe yet.

“Ah, yeah, well, it’s because I’m a new project.”

Linda gave me a knowing look. “Yeah, sure. He doesn’t actually give this much attention to new hires, you know. A meeting here and there, that’s usually it.”

That made me pause. Was it true? “He told me he does this for every new person.”

Linda made a face. “Well, he does. Sortof. He usually checks in once a week. You two are meeting almost every day.”

It was a little strange that he wanted to devote so much time to such a small part of his company. I was the only person working on and developing my app so far, and in the grand scheme of things it was almost nothing. And yet he never acted like it was something strange. There was a tension between us, but he kept everything strictly professional, at least ever since our date. He was commanding and serious, but never strayed into inappropriate territory, no matter how much I wanted him to.

I gave Linda a shrug. “I guess he really believes in the app.”

“Could be it. Or maybe he just really believes in you.”

“Oh stop. I’m just a small part of his company, programming away.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Amy. You’re a catch. I could see him being into you.”

“Really? You actually think that?” I realized I sounded too eager.

“Oh somebody’s interested.” Linda laughed. “You are cute, but who knows what his type is. He could be into mutant frogs for all I know.”

I laughed. “I doubt it’s mutant frogs. Maybe flying squirrels.”

Linda grinned. “That’s the spirit. Trying to guess Mr. Green’s sexual habits is something of a game for us ladies of the office.”

“Seems like a pretty fun game to me.” Although, I had an unfair advantage stored in my phone’s text messages.

“Alright, back to the salt mine for me. Goodbyeeee....” She drew out the ‘e’ as she was wheeled back to her side.

“Good one,” I said.

“Thank you!” she replied.

Speculating about Shane’s sex life may have been a game for everyone else, but it was like a full time job for me.

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A
s I found myself daydreaming about his strong, broad chest again, my desk phone rang.

“Hello, Amy Woodall.”

“Hi Amy, it’s Janice. How are you?” My heart skipped a beat. A call from Janice usually meant Shane wanted something.

“I’m good, just working hard. What’s up?”

“Mr. Green would like to see you in a few minutes. No rush. Bring your things.”

“Should I come now?”

“Sure, if you’re available this second. He has the next hour free and wants to look over your project.”

“Okay, sounds good. I’ll be there soon.”

He wanted to see me in his office. I hadn’t been there since....well, since he pulled off my panties and gave me the best orgasm of my life.

I saved my work, closed my laptop, and hurried over to his office. My heart was beating hard, and I had to remind myself that we were only coworkers. More than that, he was my boss, and the owner of the company. I couldn’t get my hopes up.

Janice was sitting at her desk and she smiled big as I approached.

“Well hello there Amy, that was quick.”

“I wasn’t super busy, and I don’t want to waste his time.” Was it obvious that I was eager to see him?

“Totally understand. Always a good idea to impress the boss.” Janice winked. If she only knew how badly I wanted to impress him, and how I wanted to do it, she might not be so ready to joke around.

Janice picked up her phone, spoke quietly for a moment, then hung it up.

“Go on in.”

“Thanks Janice.”

She gave me another smile, and then went back to her work. I opened the doors to Shane’s office, and walked inside. It was still Spartan and simple, which surprised me all over again, and the memory of his lips against my neck and his fingers between my legs came flooding back. I found myself feeling excited all over again, which was so stupid.

Shane was sitting behind his desk, and looked up when I entered.

“Hi Amy, take a seat.” He motioned toward the table we had used before.

“Okay, thanks.”

I put my laptop and notes in the same spot as the first time and wondered if it was the same chair I was sitting in. I was being a psycho, I realized, and pushed those thoughts from my mind. This was just a business meeting. This was just a business meeting. That would be my mantra from then forward.

He finished what he was working on, and came to sit at the table. This time, he sat across from me, and leaned on the tabletop with his elbows, his hands folded in front of him.

“Alright Amy, what do you have for me?”

I had a lot for him. But I spun my laptop around, and we dove into the project.

Twenty minutes passed that way. We went through all the work together, and he never once moved from his side of the table. He was cordial and professional, even comfortable, but we stuck strictly to work topics. We wrapped up, and I started putting my stuff away. He leaned back in his chair and knitted his fingers behind his head. I couldn’t help but stare at his biceps for a brief moment before looking away. He was beautiful, finely chiseled and well worked, at least six feet in height. He dominated whatever room he entered, and I felt myself drawn to him. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about his body.

“I’m really pleased with this, Amy.”

“Thanks, Mr. Green,” I said. I wanted to add, I’d rather please you in other ways. Those thoughts were getting harder to suppress.

He moved to stand up, and suddenly I was filled with something odd. It was a feeling, or maybe a compulsion, some irresistible force at least, and it felt like it came from outside of me. The truth was, it was my confidence, returning for a brief moment of insanity. And I really was insane to break our silence, but I couldn’t stop myself. I was completely swept away. I was willing to risk my job, maybe even my career.

“Listen, Shane. I just want to say something, real fast.” He stopped and looked at me for a second. I couldn’t read his expression, but at least he didn’t walk away or reprimand me for using his first name.

“I know you’re a private man, and I know you can’t do anything with me in public. I understand and respect that. I want to try this, whatever me and you have, but I can’t do it if you’re seeing other people. I mean, what else could it be? I feel so stupid saying this, but—“

Before I could finish, he held up his hand. That simple gesture made me stop talking as if he had touched me. Before I could say anything more, he was moving around the table. I lost my train of thought as his body filled my vision, and he stooped down to kiss my lips.

It took me completely by surprise, but I melted into his kiss. The hunger was back, and our mouths opened to let our tongues run against each other. I felt his smooth, soft lips against mine, and his hands ran through my hair. The kiss felt like it lasted an hour before he pulled away.

“Ah,” was all I could say. He crouched down in front of me.

“I have to apologize to you again, Amy.” His eyes were clear and serious, and there was a sadness to him I couldn’t place. He was brooding and dark, and I wanted to crack him open and to drink whatever secrets he had hidden away.

“What, that? I liked that,” I said, head still swimming.

He grinned. “Not the kiss. I’m not sorry about that.” He shifted his body and moved closer, and took my right hand between his fingers. “I’m sorry that I gave you the impression that there was somebody else. There is nobody else.”

“I don’t understand. You’re not seeing anyone else? You’re not embarrassed of me?”

He looked like I had punched him in the gut. “Embarrassed of you?”

“I mean, you’re gorgeous, rich, and powerful. I’m just a normal girl from Levittown.”

“Listen to me. I feel drawn to you in a way that I can’t explain. You make me want to break my rules. More than that, you’re brilliant. How many apps did my company buy this year?”

“You guys bought three, including mine. As far as I know, at least.”

“Exactly. Two others. And those two were built by teams of programmers and developers and marketed heavily. You’re the first software developer we’ve ever bought out who created and implemented her own designs. It’s amazing.”

“I don’t know,” was all I could say.

“I do know. Listen to me. What I said at dinner, it was to protect both of us. I thought you understood that, and that’s why I assumed you wanted to remain professional. There’s nobody else, and I am far from embarrassed.”

Things were starting to click for me. He never did mention anyone else, and his story was always the same. His need for privacy was his main motivating force, and his desire to protect me from the spotlight came second. And he did choose me, he did buy my app, and he was actively working with me to create and develop my product. Even without the promise of sex, he wanted to work with me.