Under His Command (Six-Alarm Sexy) (10 page)

Given its authoritative tone and that fact that he’d given her no choice in their plans, Jamie had already slipped into his new role. And he’d expect her to slip into that of a submissive. Should she balk or go along with it? It had been her idea, and the payoff would be extraordinary if she could have the old Jamie back.

She didn’t really mind him telling her to have a bath and wash her hair. She’d have done that anyway. But what was the bit about the dress? Last night, he’d been abundantly clear that he didn’t want to be in charge of her clothes. That he didn’t care what she wore. The cup mid-way to her mouth, she hesitated as she replayed his earlier words in her mind. Correction: he’d said he didn’t care what she wore to work. This wasn’t
work
. She shivered in anticipation. No. This was
play
.

The dress and heels. Only. The very idea of wearing nothing under her sundress made her wet. Did Jamie know she’d react this way? Probably. What else did he know? She couldn’t wait to find out.

Before the adult games could begin, she had a child to check up on. Retrieving her cell phone from her purse, she dialed the number to Jamie’s parents’ house. Her mother-in-law answered with a laugh. “Jamie, honey. I already told you. Everything is fine.”

A smiled teased Erica’s lips. More evidence of what a wonderful father her husband was. “Caroline, it’s me, Erica.”

“Erica. I’m sorry. I saw Caldwell on the caller ID and well, I didn’t expect…” She trailed off.

Erica could count on one hand the number of times she’d called Jamie’s parents. She’d pushed them away, like she’d pushed their son away. “Caroline, I want to apologize again to you and Liam. Regardless of what was going on between me and Jamie, I shouldn’t have let it affect your relationship with Chloe. I hope someday you can forgive me.”

Dead silence had Erica squirming in her seat. Had she made things worse by bringing up the past? She could have ignored it and gone from there. It was more her style. But she was turning over a new leaf, and ignoring the past had always done her more harm than good. She opened her mouth to explain further when Caroline cleared her throat.

“I won’t deny that I was hurt when you wouldn’t let us see Chloe. She’s my only grandchild, and I missed out on more than a few of her milestones. From the day Jamie brought you home, all I’ve wanted was for you to feel included, a part of the family. I’m sorry that we didn’t succeed. But let’s try to change that. I’m here for you, whenever you need me.”

A tear rolled down Erica’s cheek. Those were words she’d never heard, would never hear from her own mother. But now she had Caroline, and with some work, maybe they could be friends. She picked up the linen napkin and wiped her cheeks dry, then took a deep breath to ease the constriction in her chest. “I’ve learned some things about myself recently, things I don’t like very much. Things I’m trying to change. If you’ll allow it, I’d like for us to be closer. Maybe we could go on an all-girls shopping trip with Chloe and Victoria.”

“I’m ready whenever you are, honey,” Caroline said, her voice rough with emotion.

“Thank you.” Chloe was so lucky to have Caroline as an example of what a strong, capable woman should be. They were all lucky. “So is my daughter being a good girl for you?” She took a bite of mango, the sweet juice easing her raw throat.

“Ah, she’s an angel. Don’t worry about a thing. Her leg is looking good, and I’m following all your instructions to the last letter.”

Erica choked on the mango, and in her grab for the napkin, she almost knocked Jamie’s note onto the wooden floor of the lanai. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who liked to give out orders. “Listen, Caroline. I don’t know what I was thinking. Please just throw those out. You raised five children; you don’t need me telling you how to handle Chloe.”

Caroline laughed. “Liam will be happy to hear that. He was just about to make copies of your instructions and the hourly schedule and post them in every room of the house so we didn’t mess up.”

Groaning, Erica set the napkin on the table. Jamie’s parents had to think she was certifiable. And maybe she had been. But not anymore. She was turning a corner. When she and Jamie returned to Seattle, everyone would see the new and improved Erica. “Please tell Liam I’m sorry.”

“Believe it or not, Erica, I understand. When Jamie was little, I went through something similar. But then William came along, and I was just too darn busy to keep fussing.”

“You know Jamie and I are working through some things. Any advice?”

“The Caldwell men aren’t an easy bunch. No matter how smart they are about other things, when it comes to understanding women, they don’t have a clue. Jamie’s a good man, but the poor boy is just like his father. He needs direction. Be patient with him and crystal clear. If you let him guess, he’ll guess wrong.”

Interesting. She was scrambling for some sort of response to Caroline’s advice, when her mother-in-law said, “Hey sweet pea. Guess who’s on the phone?”

Erica smiled at Chloe’s squeal. “Mommy! I’m having so much fun with Grandma and Grandpa.”

“Are you being a good girl?”

“I’m
always
a good girl.”

Amused, Erica said, “You’re right, sweetheart. How are you getting on with the crutches?”

“It’s kind of hard. So when I need to go upstairs or to the car, Grandpa or Uncle Chad carries me.”

“Uncle Chad is there?”

“Yeah. He said he missed me. Uncle Drew and Auntie Tori are here too. And Uncle William has to work, but he’s coming for supper tonight. And Mommy, everyone gave me presents! Is it my birthday?”

A bittersweet ache gripped Erica’s chest. She really hadn’t been fair to Jamie’s family or to her daughter. She’d talk to Jamie later and figure out a way to make it up to them. “It’s not your birthday. They’re all so happy to see you and to know that you’re going to be okay. They want to celebrate with you. Just enjoy it. And remember to say please and thank you.”

“I know that. I’m not a baby.”

“You’ll always be my baby, sweetheart,” Erica said, her voice breaking.

“Are you crying, Mommy?”

“Maybe a little. But only because I’m happy you’re having such a good time.”

“I miss you and Daddy,” Chloe whispered.

“We miss you too. But Daddy and I really need this time together to work through a few things so we can be a family.”

“Daddy’s not going to leave us again, is he?”

The anxiety in Chloe’s voice felt like salt on a wound. She couldn’t let her daughter keep thinking Jamie had walked out on them. “Daddy didn’t leave because he wanted to. He left because I asked him to.”

“You didn’t like him anymore?”

How could she explain this to a child when she barely understood it herself? “There were some things I didn’t like, but I know now that Mommy and Daddy were confused.”

“I don’t want Daddy to ever leave again.”

Neither did she. “I’m doing everything I can to make sure that doesn’t happen. Ever. So have fun with everyone, and listen to Grandma and Grandpa. We want your leg to heal quickly so we can go on that trip to Disneyland. Remember?”

“All three of us?”

“All three of us.”

“Yay!”

“I’ll talk to you again in a few days. I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too. And Daddy.”

Erica blew Chloe a kiss and hung up the phone. The breakfast Jamie had ordered sat virtually untouched. Picking up the fork, she speared a chunk of bright green kiwi. The mix of sweet and tart livened up her taste buds and made her stomach growl.

She polished off the fruit and muffins, thinking about Jamie. She loved him, but would that be enough to cement their relationship? It hadn’t been before. When he’d mentioned that woman—Andrea—and his other women, his subs, he’d admitted that love had never factored into those relationships. Despite that, those women had given him something he needed: control. If she gave him that, would it be enough? He had a lot of experience with BDSM, and she had none, other than the fictionalized accounts she’d read in erotic novels. Reading about it had been exciting. Titillating. Would it be that way in reality as well? What if it wasn’t? She didn’t want to go back to how they’d been, both of them isolated and dissatisfied.

Did they even really know each other as people? Right now, they didn’t seem to have much of a connection beyond the physical. Although he cared for her, he hadn’t chosen their marriage any more than she had. He’d done his duty, honored his responsibilities, and loved their daughter. But she and Jamie were essentially strangers. Could this BDSM adventure help them build the trust and understanding they lacked? She hoped so. She wanted a happy, healthy relationship with the man she loved.

A breeze blew in from the ocean, carrying the scent of salt, cooling her heated skin. Jamie’s note drifted off the table. She leaned over the arm of her chair to grab it before it was blown away and lost. What had he planned? Her belly tightened with a heady mix of excitement and fear. Jamie had done things with his subs that he’d liked. What if some of those things were things she couldn’t do? Things she couldn’t give him? Things she
wouldn’t
give him. They’d talked about some of his limits—no pain for pain’s sake. And no blood. She shuddered at the thought. If he’d said he wanted to whip her until she bled, would she have allowed it? Could she have? For him, maybe. Her complete lack of experience meant she had no idea what she’d like and what she wouldn’t. She didn’t even know what was out there. What he might want.

Sipping on the last of the coffee, she tried to reassure herself. Jamie had made a point—several times—that she should never do anything she didn’t enjoy. That doing something just to please him was bad for their relationship. If she wanted this to work, she’d have to follow Caroline’s advice and be upfront with him if he asked her to do something she didn’t want to do. He trusted her to say no.

That was empowering.

As her Dom—she could almost hear the uppercase D when he’d said the word—Jamie might be directing their activities, but she was the one with the power. If she said no, that was it. Game over.

With that thought in mind, she went to execute Jamie’s orders and get ready for her first date with her Dom.

Jamie maneuvered the black Mustang convertible he’d rented for the week into an open parking spot. The sun was shining, a light breeze was blowing, and it was a perfect day to take his wife out for lunch and a drive along the coast of Oahu. The black leather interior was gorgeous, but to keep the bugs out and prevent the car from becoming too hot, he closed the roof. As he waited for it to click into place, his recent purchases taunted him from the bag on the passenger seat. He couldn’t wait to try them out on Rickie. The idea excited him so much, he had to keep reminding himself that she was a novice, that he had to ease her into their new arrangement.

In the five years of their marriage, toys had never been part of their sex life. But they were a crucial part of any BDSM relationship. A part he was anxious to get back to. His cock stirred in agreement. Five years was a very long time to go without.

Grabbing the bag, he got out of the car and tossed it in the trunk. As he was closing the lid, he hesitated. Should he? Yes! He reopened the lid and, after rummaging through the bag, tucked his little surprise in his pocket. Just the thought of it between Rickie’s legs made him half-hard. Thank fuck he was wearing loose pants.

He slammed the trunk closed and walked toward the resort lobby, careful to keep his pace unhurried. A Dom had to appear in control. Cool, calm, and collected. At least until that final moment when he let himself go. God, he couldn’t wait to have that with Rickie again.

I like sex a little rough, a little bit kinky. Deal
. He chuckled, remembering her words. His wife deserved kudos for instigating the whole thing. If she hadn’t brought it up, he sure as shit wouldn’t have. The woman had spunk. He liked that. It would make getting her to submit to him all that much more of a challenge. And he loved a good challenge. Especially one that would end in limitless pleasure for both of them.

Her lack of experience might be an issue, at least in the beginning. She had no idea what she’d put in motion. No idea how far BDSM could go. So, he’d be fair, and before they did anything, they’d have a nice long chat. He’d lay it all out for her, make sure she understood her rights. The last thing he wanted was for Rickie to feel used, to clam up and shut him out again. He couldn’t relive the last five years. He had to bind her to him—physically and emotionally, and he only had a week to do it. By the time they returned to Seattle, she’d be his, body and soul.

But only if he didn’t fuck it up by acting like a horny teen and going off half-cocked.

Entering the lush gardens, he saw her standing by a hibiscus plant with large yellow flowers. He only knew what it was because when they’d arrived yesterday, Rickie had shown him one and explained that the hibiscus was the Hawaiian state flower. The bright yellow blooms were pretty, but next to her radiant beauty, they could have been weeds.

Her sundress billowed in the warm breeze, fluttering around her knees. After her pregnancy and months nursing Chloe, Rickie’s breasts had softened. When she bent to inhale the flower’s perfume, they swayed gently, evidence that she’d followed his instructions. His hand tightened around his surprise. Had she left off the panties too?