"Jumped from my fuckin' bed straight into Frankie's, jumped from Frankie's right back into mine and then from mine straight to fuckin's Chase's bed! That fuckin' kid could be Frankie's couldn't it?"
"Stop!" I cried. "You know it wasn't like that! You showed up and you had Frankie locked up and I was a wreck and you were you and I have never been able to be rational around you and I just wanted to be with you one more time! Chase was a mistake! I was trying to help Frankie but then I was trying to hurt Frankie and then I just wanted to hurt myself and I was so fucked up in the head and I don't know, Deuce! I just don't know!"
"No, you never fuckin' did know shit, did ya? Didn't know your old man had cameras in his fuckin' stairwell. Didn't know Frankie wasn't just crazy but a fuckin' homicidal maniac. Didn't know Chase fuckin' loved you, didn't know he was hole punchin' the fuckin' condoms so he could knock you up and keep you! Don't even fuckin' know who put tha
t fuckin' bastard inside you!"
Chase was what? Oh my god. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod…
"Yeah," Deuce sneered. "Now you get it. Now when it's too fuckin' late. That's his fuckin' kid in you then he's gonna play that fuckin' card. And I fuckin' know you, shit starts to get hard, you get upset, you're gonna run."
"Where am I going to run to?" I demanded. "Since you know everything you tell me where I am going to run to!"
"Back to daddy," He said darkly. "Back to the fuckin' club. Back to where it's safe and you don't gotta deal with your fuckin' life cuz you got a whole shit load of men who'll deal with it for ya. And then you can keep tryin' to save Frankie cuz that's all you've ever done with yourself and you don't have a fuckin' clue what to do when you're not tryin' to save him. And you and Chase can get back to beatin' each other senseless, fuckin’ each other in public, and gettin' off on it cuz you both fuckin' hate yourselves and your fucked up lives."
I felt my face get hot. I was angry but I was also embarrassed. Deuce had just aired my dirty laundry in a house with an open floor plan. I had no doubt Danny and Cage had heard everything.
"Shoulda never fuckin' laid a hand on you," He spat.
My heart seized. "What?" I whispered.
"You heard me bitch. I wish I never fuckin' touched you. Never fuckin' met you. You've done nothin' but fuck with my life."
As if he'd slapped me I staggered backwards reaching for the
counter top to steady myself.
"Deuce," I whispered. "Please take that back."
He didn't. He didn't say anything at all. Just turned away from me and left.
I stormed into the clubhouse on a mission. Deuce hadn't been home in over a week. He wouldn't answer his cell phone and his boys were covering for him.
I made it to the back hall when Cox was suddenly in front of me pushing me back.
"I'll get him for you babe, just hold tight."
"Fuck off," I hissed, shoving him back. "I'm not stupid. I know what he's doing back there!"
Cox grimaced. "I let you in there, he'll kill me."
"Then write out your will because nothing short of a bullet is going to stop me from going in there."
"Foxy," He said quietly. "I can't let you back there."
I glared up at him. "Are you shitting me?"
"No babe. He will take my cut if I let you back there."
"Fine Cox, you wanna play with me? Things are going pretty good with you and Kami so far, right? Been going back and forth and seeing Devin, getting to know him? Been lying to his mother, telling her you left your wife and all sorts of other bullshit just so you can keep fucking her, right?”
Cox's face went tight. "Eva," He warned. “You can’t-
"Shut up," I hissed. "I can and I will. I will tell her not only have you not left your wife but that you are still fucking everything on two legs that comes your way. So what’s it gonna be, Cox? Are you going to let me back there or are you going to lose Kami?"
Glaring at me, he moved out of my way and swept his arm to the side. "Go right ahead you fuckin’ bitch.”
Deuce's door was locked but the doorknob was cheap. Two solid fist drops to the top and it busted. I kicked th
e door open and Deuce’s
eyes flew open.
"Eva!" Miranda exclaimed, turning red. "You're here!"
Deuce was pushing out from underneath her, pulling himself up into a sitting position. His eyes were bloodshot and unfocused, courtesy of the empty bottle of Jack lying on the floor next to the bed.
"I'm not here," I informed her. "I just need to tell him something and then I'm gone."
She started ge
tting up and I signaled her to
stop. "You should stay," I told her. "After I’m done with him he'll probably need to fuck you again."
“You stupid fuckin’ bitch,” Deuce growled. “Get the fuck outta my club.”
That hurt worse than walking in on him and Miranda. If he
truly
loved me,
I didn’t understand
why didn’t he want me to be part of
his life.
Miranda scrambled off the bed. "I'm…uh…I’m gonna go."
Without bothering to find her clothing, if she'd even had any to begin with, she took off down the hall.
"How the fuck did you get back here?" Deuce yelled
I shrugged. "I’m a whore. I jumped a couple of beds."
Deuce was instantly sober and across the room. Gripping my bicep, he started dragging me out of his room and down the hallway. Butt naked.
"Since you're kicking me out I'll make this quick," I told him. "I get why you’re mad about Chase but Frankie is different. I've loved Frankie for as long as I can remember."
Deuce's face went hard and he started walking faster forcing me to scr
amble just to keep up with him.
"We grew up together; we went through a lot together. He was always there for me and I was always there for him. He lost everything at a very young age. He latched onto me as a child and it was in no way sexual. It wasn't until later that he needed me for that as well."
Deuce yanked me to a stop. "Needed you for that?" He hissed. "Do you have any idea how fucked that sounds?"
"Yes!" I shot back. "But I loved him! I wanted to help him!"
"You're sick babe." He started walking again, dragging me with him. "Frankie made you sick."
"Yeah," I yelled, "I know!"
"What do you fuckin' know?"
"I know I’m fucked up. I know I’ve been fucked up for a long time. I know I don’t know the first thing about a normal relationship because fucked up is all I’ve ever known but I have been trying so hard to make us work! I also know that I am sick of your bullshit!
You made me promises and
I left my entire life for you and you bring me to the middle of nowhere and dump me in a house with your kids and expect me to be your old lady when you knew,
you fucking knew
, that was the last thing I wanted. So I let you treat me like a piece of fucking furniture who’d be right where you left me every time you decided to grace me with your presence because I promised you I wouldn’t run. But I can’t do it anymore!
"Cox!" He bellowed, making me jump. A heartbeat later Cox appeared at the end of the hall.
Deuce shoved me forward. "Get her the fuck outta here. Make sure she gets home and stays there."
Cox didn't move. "Sorry Prez. I'm not draggin' an angry pregnant bitch that just caught her man slammin' a whore anywhere. I like my fuckin' balls where they are."
I swiveled on Deuce. "Don't worry about it. I'm leaving. You have whores to attend to and I have fucking life I’d like to start living!”
I whirled on Cox and he took a step back.
"And you! I don't give a shit how you treat your wife, I don't care if you want to fuck every man, woman and dog on the planet, but you keep fucking with my girl and I will end it! You assholes love to spout off about brotherhood and the code of the road but you never think about the trail of women you're leaving behind you and I'll be fucking dammed if one of those women is going to be Kami!"
"Jesus, Eva," He whispered, "What the fuck did I ever do to you?"
"Not me," I hissed. "Kami. She is not club ass and I won't let you treat her like it!"
"GET THE FUCK OUT!" Deuce bellowed.
"I’M GOING!" I screamed.
I made it two steps outside the door when blinding hot pain shot through my lower back. More pain followed, my vision swam as my belly tightened painfu
lly, and sharp stabbing sensations prickled across my mid section. My hands flew to my stomach. "No!" I cried. "Please god no!"
☼☼☼
"Bitch caught you with your cock in Miranda and didn't even flinch."
Deuce glared across the bar at Cox. "Whose fuckin'
fault is that?"
Cox glared right back. "Prez, she already knew what you were doin'. Bitch had your number before she even got here. Bitch has everyone's number. I’m startin' to think she knows us better than we know ourselves."
Blue threw back a shot and cleared his throat. "Course
Foxy’s
got us tagged. She’s a biker brat who grew up in a club full of brother’s who fuckin’ love her more than they love their old ladies.”
“That’s the fuckin’ problem,” He muttered. “Bitch doesn’t know her place cuz Preacher’s a fuckin’ idiot.”
Blue shook his head. “Son, you are a fuckin’ moron. You wanna know what I see? I see a girl who isn’t just a girl but a fuckin’ prize and why the fuck she chose an asshole like you to give that fuckin’ prize to I haven’t a fuckin’ clue. Stupid if you ask me.
“But you’re throwin’ it all away cuz you can’t stop fuckin’ whores and cuz you’re refusing to give her a piece of the club. Not a lot to ask if you ask me but since you ain’t askin’ I’ll shut the fuck up and let you be a fuckin’ moron.”
He glared at Blue. If the bastard wasn’t so damn old he
would
be in a world of hurt right now.
"You need to start bein' straight with yourself, " Mick said quietly, speaking up for the first time. "You're not really mad at
her, you're fuckin' jealous."
He looked around the bar at his somber faced boys. “What the fuck!” He yelled. “Why are you all gangin’ up on me?”
Mick shook his head. “Just givin’ to you straight Prez. You need to man up and admit it. You're jealous of Frankie for gettin' her for all those years, for getti
n’ to marry her, for her undyin’
, misplaced loyalty to his crazy ass. You're jealous of Chase just cuz he got a taste and she liked what he was givin’ and you're jealous of that fuckin' baby inside her cuz you're thinkin' it might not be yours and you want that kid so bad to be yours cuz you want so bad to own that bitch that you ain't seein' shi
t straight.
“You've had a hard on for Eva Fox for
a
long
time now
and you're so used to either fuckin' her or fightin' with her or losin' her that you don't even realize you finally got her. That bitch loves you, has for a long time now. You're not the only one who's known her for a grip. I saw the way she was lookin' at you way back when in Chicago. She was just a kid then but fuck me if she didn't think the world of ya.”
Tap nodded. “He’s right Prez. Don’t think you’re gonna be gettin’ another chance this time. She looks tired as hell, can see it on her face. I’m bettin’ Frankie wore her down somethin’ fierce with his bullshit. Only so much bein’ shit on a woman can take before they just can’t take it no more. Look at me. Tara left, split to Atlanta. Now she’s shacked up with some computer programmer, who my baby girl is tellin’ me is big, fat, dork, her words not mine. But I’m guessin’ he couldn’t fight a fly if he had to. But Tara wants him and not me cuz I didn’t treat her right and he treats
her
like a goddamn queen.”
He didn't know how to respond to that -mostly because it was all true- so he tossed back another shot instead. Mick smirked at him. Fucking asshole.
He wasn’t doing right by Eva, he knew that. His old habits were dying hard. But he couldn’t afford to go soft, get weak and Eva made him soft and weak. Spending too much time with her and he’d end up gluing her to his side. He needed the space. He needed a clear head. Didn’t want to drop the ball.
Shit.
He didn’t know what to do. Half of him wanted her to go home and the other half stopped breathing at the thought.
"PREZ!" Hands and arms covered in blood, ZZ came barreling across the room.
"Eva!" He said breathlessly. "She's not talkin'…eyes are closed…so much fuckin' blood…called an ambulance…"
He didn't hear the rest because he was running out the door.
Deuce sat in the hospital waiting room in the same position he'd been in for four days, elbows propped on his knees, face in his hands.
He'd fucked up a lot in his life but he'd never fucked up this bad.