Uncontrollable (33 page)

Tate has stayed the night every night since I came
home. He sleeps in the spare bedroom, and he doesn’t seem to be going anywhere
anytime soon. I don’t know if he’s here for me or if he’s here for Slade’s
benefit. He seems to be keeping Slade’s mind off of everything that has to do
with that day.

 Sometimes I see Slade staring off into outer space
as if he remembers what went down the night they found me. The guys have been
very tightlipped about what happened that night. I know Jax cut Tate with a
knife and Jax got arrested. Other than that, I’m clueless on what they went
through.

 Slade also sold my car. He told me he didn’t want
me to have a reminder of what had happened. I agreed, it’s not a mommy car
anyway. It didn’t even have a backseat.

No one knows what happened to me, and Slade wants
to keep it that way. He said with him being a defense attorney that the press
would have a field day with what happened, making up all kinds of stories
regarding someone having a vendetta for him.

 I was fired from the bank. Slade had called the
bank while I was in the hospital and told them I would be out for a week. When
he refused to give them a reason, they told him there was no need for me to
return. He gladly told them to ‘fuck off’.

 We decided to keep the baby a secret for now. No
one knows but me, Slade, and Tate. And right now we think that’s best for us.

I haven’t had much sleep over the last two weeks. I
still don’t remember much, but the things I have started to remember, I keep to
myself. I have dreams where I’m hearing the voices and being held down. All I
can hear is my heart pounding and my screams. I wake up every time screaming
and covered in sweat. Slade is always there with a bottle of water and a warm
washcloth. He holds me, which helps calm me.

 He has taken off work to stay home with me, and I
have to admit he’s kind of smothering. Or it could just be the fact that I’ve
been locked up in our house.

 The guys have not said anything about the other
guy who I know was there. I’m pretty sure they just acted like they were going
to check it out but I don’t think they believed me. And Slade could have been
right, I was out of it. And for that, I am thankful.

 I lie in our bed watching reruns of
Supernatural
when Slade enters the room on his cell. “What the fuck do you mean you can’t
come into work today?” he demands.

I place another piece of my Crunch bar in my mouth
listening to him. Chocolate, the breakfast of champions.

“I’m where I need to be. At home with my fiancée,”
he barks. “You need to get your ass to the office,” he shouts.

I’ve noticed over the last two weeks that his
temper is getting worse and worse. His fuse has gone from short to
non-existent.

 “Well, are you sick?” he questions walking into
the closet. He’s silent for a few seconds. “Braxton,” he growls. “I need you at
the office. I can’t be there right now.”

I pop another piece of Crunch bar into my mouth as
I turn down the TV to listen to his conversation. It’s much more entertaining
than my show. “What in the fuck does that mean? A friend needs you?”

 I frown. I don’t think Braxton has many friends.

“Fine,” Slade finally snaps. “But I’ll be emailing
you shit to do and you better get it done.” He comes storming out of the closet
and throws his phone onto the bed before he storms into the bathroom.

“Braxton’s sick?” I ask before breaking off another
piece of my Crunch bar, trying to get the scoop.

“No.” I hear him turn the sink on. “He says he has
to take care of a friend.”

“Well, that’s nice of him.”

He finishes up whatever he is doing in there and
then walks out frowning. “No, it’s irresponsible.”

 I frown. “You don’t have to stay home with me,
Slade. You can go into work if they need you.”

He walks over to my side of the bed and sits down.
“I’m not leaving you until you’re better.”

I sigh looking down at my wrists. The reminders are
still there but they are healing. “You make it sound like I have a disease,” I
whisper. He looks at me differently. He holds me, kisses my forehead, but he
doesn’t touch me. Not with love and affection. It’s more like he is just doing
it because he feels obligated, or maybe responsible.

 He places his finger under my chin and lifts my
head to where I have to look at him. “I’m not leaving you alone until I know
you are okay. Angel, I worry about you. Even when I’m in the office, which is
one room over. I worry you are going to fall asleep and wake up screaming.”

 I know he’s tired of having to put up with me.
That’s why I want him to go to work. Once I wake and realize I’m home, I’m okay.
“I’m sorry. I’m trying to forget it.”

“What did I tell you about apologizing?” he warns,
arching an eyebrow. “Stop doing it. I’m not going anywhere.”

 I nod my head as he stands up. “I wanna get out of
the house tonight,” I state.

 He shakes his head.

“Please?” I pout. “Let’s go over to your parents,”
I say.

“Why?” he asks, like that’s a terrible idea.

“Because I want to tell them about the baby.” I
sigh.

 He frowns. “I thought we decided to keep it a
secret?”

 “We did, at first. Everyone comes over and all
they see is the bad that happened. I want to give them some good news.”

 The corner of his lips turn up, and he nods.
“Okay. We will go over there tonight and tell them the good news.” And with
that he walks out of our bedroom. Seconds later I hear him in his office on a
conference call with his brother. Even though he hasn’t gone to the office, he
is still working.

I sit on my parent’s couch
in the living room trying not to think about the event that took place two
weeks ago. It’s always there, no matter what I do or where we go. I see Jax’s
face, and I see Angel lying on that nasty mattress face down. I can’t shake it.
I’m always angry and pissed off at the world.

 Angel on the other hand is doing great. She wants
to move on, start planning our future—I’m keeping us in the past. But she
doesn’t know how bad it was. She doesn’t know how we found her; drugged and
bound. She doesn’t know that I had to have her sedated because she continued to
freak out in the hospital. That’s how much the drugs affected her. They took
almost two days from her life. She doesn’t remember asking me if I was the one
who hurt her. Or what Tate did to Jax. He had to seek medical treatment before
they were able to book him, which is a pity. I was hoping Parker would have let
the fucker bleed to death before he called it in.

I wish I could forget and move on as well. I’m
going to try tonight. Jax is in jail. We are going to have a baby. So I’m going
to smile and pretend that night doesn’t haunt my dreams like it does hers.

My mother clears her throat, and I look up at her
sitting across from us. She lifts her glass of wine and looks at Angel. “Would
you like a glass?”

 “No,” I snap answering for her.

 Angel looks over at me with a frown on her face.
She reaches over and pats my leg. That was a mistake, my eyes land on the marks
that still circle her wrists and my jaw clenches.

“No thank you,” she answer sweetly.

 My mom nods her head. “I shouldn’t have asked. You
must be on pain meds.”

 I grind my teeth together, another fucking
reminder.

 “No, actually…” she trails off.

Actually she fucking refused them once she found
out she was pregnant. Said she didn’t want them to affect the baby.

 I look up at her when I notice the room is silent.
Angel nods her head toward my parents and her eyebrows rise.

What?

 Oh yeah, she wants to tell them the
good news
.
I lift my drink my father gave me when I walked in; scotch. I give my parents a
big fake smile. “We are expecting a baby,” I announce cheerfully.

 I faintly hear my mother crying as she speaks
about a grandbaby, and I feel Angel stand up from beside me as she speaks to my
parents. I bring the drink to my lips once more.
A baby!
I take a big
gulp.

 “Slade?”

“Hmm?” I look up to see everyone staring down at
me. “What did I miss?” I ask looking from Angel’s frown to my dad’s tight jaw.

“Will you excuse us for a second?” she asks my
parents before she sits back down beside me. “What is wrong with you?” she
questions.

I sigh. “I just have stuff going on,” I lie.

She looks down to her engagement ring and slowly
turns it around on her finger. “Do you no longer want to be with me?”

 “What?” My eyes look at hers. “How can you think
that?”

 She nibbles on her bottom lip nervously. “Then is
it the baby?” she questions. “Do you not want it?” she whispers. “I can do it
by myself.”

 I place my drink on the end table and take her
hands in mine. “Why would you ask me that?”

She pulls her hands from mine. “Because you act
like it’s killing you to be happy about it. I can see your smiles are fake, and
I also see how angry you’ve been.” She takes a deep breath. “You said we would
work through ‘whatever happened’ together but I seem to be the only one trying
to work through it.”

 I sigh, trying to relax. I thought I’ve been there
for her but I haven’t, not really. “I’m sorry, Angel. I am excited about our
baby. I love you. Both of you.” I place a hand on her belly.

“I know it’s hard, Slade. But what did you tell me
when Jax came back into our lives?”

That motherfucker!
I roll my shoulders.
“What?” is all I can manage, voice tight.

 “You said to not let him win. Look what we have
ahead of us.” She pats my hand that rests on her flat belly. “Don’t let him
win.”

 I sigh. And she gives me a smile. This beautiful
Angel is sitting beside me and no matter what life throws at us, we will have
each other along with a baby.

 “You’re right.” I smile. And it’s my first real
smile in over two weeks.

My mom and dad reenter the room, and my mother
instantly asks about the wedding.

“Have you guys picked a date yet?” she asks as she
dabs the corners of her eyes.

“No.” Angel shakes her head.

“Well I’m thinking a winter wedding,” my mother
says excitedly. “Wouldn’t it be beautiful to have a wedding while there is snow
on the ground?”

 “No.” I frown. “I don’t want to freeze my ass off.
You know I’m not a winter kind of guy.”

Angel laughs.

“Well let me get a calendar then.”

I see Angel shift uncomfortable, and it makes me
nervous. I watch as she looks down at her engagement ring once again. “Are you
okay?” I lean over and whisper.

She continues to look down at her ring, and she
gives me a small nod. I swallow getting nervous. “Do
you
not want to get
married?” I ask slowly.

She looks up at me with big eyes. “No, I do,” she
says sadly.

 “Then what is it?” I push a piece of hair behind
her ear.

She bites her bottom lip as she looks around the
room... I follow her eyes and notice we are alone again

 “I...” She pauses for a second and swallows. “It’s
just I don’t have any family to invite. I won’t have my dad to walk me down the
aisle.” She looks up at me as tears fill her eyes. “My mother…”

I feel a pain in my chest. I’ve let my anger
consume me that I haven’t thought about not having someone walk her down the
aisle. I have tried to be understanding to why Tate keeps his secrets but right
now I want to tell her about her brother. The big brother who could walk her
down the aisle, but there’s still that possibility that she will run from him.
Throw him out of her life, and he will miss everything.

So, instead I take her hands in mine. “I’m sorry,
baby. Would you like to elope? Just the two of us?” She deserves more than that
but I don’t want her to feel obligated to anything that will make her feel
uncomfortable.

She gives me a small smile as I reach up and wipe a
single tear off of her cheek.

 “I like that idea but your parents…”

“Can I say something?”

We both look up at my mom and dad standing in front
of us once again. Angel nods to him.

He takes a deep breath as he sits down next to her,
looking into her eyes. “I don’t want to overstep my boundaries,” he says
gently. “But if you don’t mind, I would love to walk you down the aisle. Vivian
and I already see you as our daughter. I would be proud to give you away.”

 And just like that, all my anger is gone and
replaced with love. I feel my throat close up as tears threaten my eyes.

 “You would do that for me?” she whispers.

 My father nods. “Of course I would. I know I can’t
replace your father, but I would be honored to have that opportunity. We love
you, Samantha.”

 She releases my hands and wraps her arms around my
dad’s neck as she hugs him. “Thank you, Mark.” I hear the crack in her voice,
and it once again tears at my heart. I look up at my mom when I feel her hand
on my shoulder. She has tears in her eyes as well.