Unconditional Love (4 page)

Ari’s mouth dropped open. “You haven’t had a boyfriend since college? My God Azurdee, do you just not like men?”

I laughed and pushed her back some. “Yes, bitch, I like men. I just haven’t met a guy who did it for me. One that made me want to give myself completely to him until…”

Ari wiggled her eyebrows up and down and said, “Mysterious and handsome Lark Williams has though, hasn’t he?”

I let out a sigh and walked over to the porch swing and sat down.

“Oh my God, Ari. I don’t know what it is, but when I’m around him my body just goes into overdrive and I have to do everything in my power to keep from jumping him. It’s been like this from the beginning. I’ve dreamt about him, I’ve thought about him while driving, working, out on other dates. I cannot get him out of my head. He is my weakness.”

Ari sat down and gave me a weak smile. “Is it just a sexual thing? I mean…do you have other feelings for him?”

I nodded my head. “No, it’s not just sexual. I mean, a big part of it is of course, and the fact that I pretty much threw myself at him tonight has my stomach dropping. But there’s more to it. When he enters a room, I swear I have to take a deep breath. He brushes by me or touches me in the slightest way and my stomach flips around like I’m on a damn thrill ride. His eyes…oh my God. I get totally lost in them. I swear—if he had told me to strip down and let him make love to me on the dance floor, I would have done it.”

I threw my head back onto the swing and thought about earlier when Lark and I danced.

I walked back outside and looked around. Lark was sitting at a table, and two of my college friends were talking to him. He looked bored out of his mind, and I didn’t think he was even listening to them.

Billy Currington’s “Must Be Doin’ Something Right” started playing, so I walked up to the table. I smiled at the girls and looked at Lark. “I think the best man and maid of honor should dance together at least once, don’t you?”

He looked up at me and smiled. “Yep, I think so.” He set his beer down, grabbed my hand, and practically dragged me to the dance floor.

As he pulled me close to him, he said, “Thank God you showed up when you did.”

I giggled as we started to two-step. “Why? You aren’t enjoying yourself?”

“Sorry, but the girls you went to college with are either bitches or boring as hell.”

I placed my head on his chest and closed my eyes. When I felt his chin rest on top of my head, the butterflies in my stomach went crazy.

I looked up at him. “So, what type of girl are you looking for anyway?”

The left corner of his mouth moved up just a bit further when he smiled. It almost felt like my knees might have wobbled for one quick second.

“What do you mean?”

I hit him in the stomach. “You know what I mean, Lark. What kind of girl is it going to take to get you to settle down? You know, for you to stop your man-whoring ways?” I asked with a wink.

“Why do you want to know? What makes you think I even want to settle down with someone?”

He instantly took the offensive approach. I shrugged my shoulders, wishing I hadn’t even brought it up. I looked away and tried to act like his response hadn’t bothered me.

“Are you wanting to apply for the position?” he asked as he pulled me closer to him.

“Um…I thought you just said you weren’t looking for someone,” I said, my voice sounding so small. I was kicking myself for letting him catch me off guard like that.

“If I was, you’d be my type, Azurdee. Your innocence just pours off of you, and it’s sexy as hell,” he said in almost a whisper.

I smiled even though I tried desperately not to. “Oh yeah?” I said, trying to be calm, even though my heart was racing a hundred miles an hour.

He looked down at me as he gave me a slight smile, and then he looked away. “But I’m no good for you, Azurdee.”

My smile faded. The anger started to build up inside me. “Don’t you think I should be the judge of that?” I asked in an angry tone.

He looked back down at me and laughed. “You have no idea what you are saying. You know nothing about me, Azurdee. Why would you want to be involved with someone you know nothing about? I have secrets, and I’ve done things I’m not proud of.”

I saw the hurt in his eyes, and all I wanted to do was make it go away. “I know everything I need to know about you. Everyone has secrets and has made mistakes in life.”

“Is that so?” he asked, in such a seductive way.

“Ah…yep. Isn’t that what it’s all about though? Getting to know each other. I would think that would be the best part of a relationship.”

He threw his head back and laughed. “That is one of the best parts. Sex is the other.”

I felt my face blush. If he ever knew I was a virgin, he would probably run away as fast as he could. He looked at me, and the look in his eyes caused goose bumps to pop up all over my body.

“Trust me, Azurdee, you need to just stay away from me. I’m no good for you.”

I pushed him back. “I think you just say that because you’re afraid of being in a relationship with someone.”

He tightened his eyes as he glared at me. The hurt in his eyes was replaced by something else, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.

Anger? Lust maybe?

He pulled me back into him. The song had changed at some point, but we were still dancing slowly.

“Do you want to be with me, Azurdee?”

Oh God. He just came out and asked it. What do I say? Do I tell him the truth?

I looked into his eyes and whispered, “Yes.”

He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Azurdee, no, you don’t.”

“Yes. Yes, I do. I want to be with you, Lark. I want you to make love to me.”

He opened his eyes, and the look in them caused me to suck in a breath of air.

He placed his hand on my face and whispered, “You don’t know what you’re saying, baby.”

I put my hand on top of his. “Yes, I do. I want you, Lark. I want to get to know you…please let me.”

He looked into my eyes for what seemed like forever before he finally gave me a small smile.

“If I do this, Azurdee, you need to know what you’re getting into. I’m…I’m not sure if I can be what you want me to be.”

I swallowed and nodded my head. “I understand.”
He’s just scared. That’s all. He needs someone to love him.

He pushed his hand into my hair and grabbed it. “Once you’re mine, you’re mine though, Azurdee. I won’t share you with anyone.”

I smiled. “I won’t share either, just so you know.”

He shook his head. “This is a dangerous game you’re playing with me.”

It felt like my heart dropped to my stomach. What does he mean by that?

“I’m not playing any games, Lark,” I whispered.

Right then, Katy Perry’s “Dark Horse” started playing. The smile that spread across his face shocked me. I wasn’t sure if I should be turned on or if I should turn around and run. He pulled my hair, making my head tilt back some, exposing my neck to him.

He leaned down and put his lips against my neck, and right before Katy started singing, he whispered, “Do you want me to make you mine, Azurdee?” Chills ran up and down my body instantly.

The moment the beat started, he pulled me to him and started dancing with me so seductively that I could feel my face blushing yet again. I didn’t know if it was the way he was dancing with me or the song itself, but I felt like I was falling deeper and deeper into a trance, and he was in total control of every single one of my emotions.

I’d never danced like this before, and I had never felt so incredibly turned on like I was. The way his body was grinding into mine had me going insane. If he were to tell me to strip down for him and make love to him right here in front of everyone, I would do it.

His hand was moving up and down my body, and I was quickly falling faster and faster for him.
I wanted him more than ever.
He let go of my hair and moved both his hands over my body. Everywhere he touched I felt like I had been zapped by tiny bolts of electricity. He placed both of his hands on my face and tilted my head up to him.

Then, he just stopped moving. I had to hold on to something to keep my legs from going out underneath me. I grabbed on to his arms and stared into his eyes. He brought his lips barely up to mine and stopped just short of kissing me. I could feel his hot breath, and I was trying like hell not to seem desperate for his kiss.

“Who’s the guy you’re with?” he asked.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. He had me pressed up against his hard-on, and I was going insane with lust.

“Um…just a friend. He’s just a friend.”

He smiled as he tilted his head and looked down at my lips. Then, he looked back up into my eyes and said, “What’s your answer?”

“My answer?” I asked, confused as hell.

He lightly brushed his lips against mine, and I let out a moan. I was inwardly cursing myself for seeming so needy. He dropped his hands and took a few steps back from me.

No! I wanted to call out and reach for him to pull him back against my body. I needed to feel him close to me. I needed to feel his heat.

The farther he moved away, the colder I felt.

“If it’s a yes, Azurdee, tell him he can leave anytime, and the sooner the better, because I really want to make love to you. Now.”

He turned and started toward the house. I stood there, just watching him walk away from me, as I tried to catch my breath. He turned back around and smiled at me right before he walked into the house.

Oh dear God. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for, dreaming about since the first time he ever looked into my eyes.
He had been the one I was saving myself for.

I looked around to see if anyone had been watching us. I could feel the heat burning my cheeks. I took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. I looked around and found Paul, my date for the wedding.

As I walked over to tell Paul good-bye and to thank him for coming, I had the strangest feeling that I was about to give my heart and soul to someone who could possibly take it and crush it into a million pieces. I knew one thing for sure though. I was about to walk into something that both excited and scared me.

“Azurdee? What in the world are you thinking about?” Ari asked as she bumped my arm and I jumped. I shook my head and smiled.

“Earlier, dancing with Lark. Just something he said to me,” I barely said.

Ari’s smile faded and she looked down and then back up at me. “Do you think he knows that…um…that you’re a virgin?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not sure. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jessie told him to keep him away from me.” I turned and looked at Ari. “Do you think that would turn him off? I mean…if I tell him, do you think he will change his mind?”

Ari threw her head back and laughed. “Please. Show me a man who doesn’t want to be the first to journey down that valley. I would guess he knows but you’re going to have to tell him, Sweets, just in case.”

I nodded my head. The screen door opened and Jeff, Ari’s husband, came walking out.

“Hey baby, everyone is pretty much leaving. You about ready to say good-bye?” Jeff asked as he reached his hand down for Ari.

Before she stood up, she smiled. She gave me a hug and whispered, “It’s going to hurt and feel good at the same time. Call me tomorrow morning.”

She pulled back and smiled at me as I smiled at her.
Was I really going to do this? Give Lark the one thing I’d guarded so strongly? Yes.
I was and my clenching stomach couldn’t wait another minute. I’d waited almost a year to feel his lips on mine. I’ve dreamed about his hands moving gently over my body. Yes. I was more than ready for Lark to make love to me.

We both stood up and I followed them back into the house. As I made my way around thanking everyone for coming, I couldn’t help but look over at Lark doing the same. I swear every girl either asked him out tonight or gave him her phone number. I rolled my eyes as one of my college friends attempted to get Lark to come back to Austin with them and show them around all the dance clubs.