Authors: Angela Carling
Alex didn’t seemed bothered by his wife’s sudden urgency to make their will current. He was a logical man and it made sense to him that Jennie should become Kate’s legal guardian at the age of 18 if something happened to both of them. More than anything, he was surprised that she had thought of it before he did. Usually, he took care of legal and financial matters.
The date to meet with the attorney was set for the morning of December 29th so that everyone could get through the Christmas holiday. As soon as the appointment was set Jennie’s mom felt better.
Besides,
she thought to herself,
the chances of something happening to both of us at the same time are so slim it’s not even worth worrying about beyond the practical preparation of a will.
The next day, the morning of the 23rd, Jennie’s mom put it out of her mind and once again put her energy into enjoying Christmas with her family.
The California Pizza Kitchen was packed with last minute shoppers when Jennie and Nate arrived. Jennie chose the restaurant. This was her favorite pizza place and she and Nate ate there a lot. The food was good, but Nate worried that the loud environment was the wrong place to exchange Christmas gifts. Jennie carried a medium-sized box under her arm and a mischievous expression on her face. Nate could tell she was almost as excited to show Nate her gift as he was to reveal his.
They found the only table left in the middle of the crowded room and sat down. Within a couple of minutes, a server came to their table looking frayed. Most of her long blond ponytail had come out of the rubber band and she took a second to fix it before addressing them.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to reach you.” She said. “Two people called in sick and I’ve been slammed all night.”
“No problem.” Nate was quick to try to make her feel better.
The server glanced around her, hoping her other customers would be as patient before turning her attention back to Nate and Jennie. “What can I getcha?” she asked them, pulling out a small pad of white paper from a pocket of the stained white apron she wore around her waist.
Jennie didn’t even have to look at the menu. “A large BBQ chicken with extra cheese,” she said decidedly. Their server quickly took down their order and promised it would be out soon before moving on to her next table.
Nate slid his hand into his pocket to make sure that the slender box was still there. He’d probably done this ten times just since leaving the house. Jen caught his eyes from across the table. It was easy to see that she was bursting with excitement, unable to wait any longer to give Nate his present. She slid the box across the table towards him. He swallowed hard. His nerves were acting up again. He knew once his gift was opened, it would be time to give Jennie the necklace. What if she hated it? What if it meant nothing to her? He’d put so much thought into the gift, it would be hard for him if she rejected it.
Nate reached out and took the box from Jennie. She was grinning from ear to ear in anticipation.
“Open it,” she said, nearly bouncing out of her seat.
Nate slowly tore the red and green paper away to reveal a plain black box. Before he could even open the box, Jennie grabbed it from him.
“You’re too slow,” she complained. In one smooth movement, she opened the box and pulled out an expensive camera, one that allowed Nate to put his photography experience to use. Nate was overwhelmed by her gesture. He knew she didn’t make much money working at the pet store and this must have taken all of her savings.
“I don’t what to say,” he responded, genuinely shocked, but the smile that had overtaken his expression said it all.
“I knew you’d like it,” She bubbled. “I saw the amazing photographs in your apartment and knew you’d lost your camera, and, well, I thought you might like it.”
Nate rose from his chair and wrapped his arms around her, placing his hands carefully so as not to touch her skin directly. Touching Jennie without touching her skin had gotten easier as the weather turned colder, but he was still careful to keep his distance most of the time. Jennie knew how meaningful the hug was because Nate rarely got that close to her. For a few seconds, she savored the closeness just as she did when they danced. Luckily, the busy restaurant kept the closeness brief and Nate was able to pull back and sit back down.
The minute he was in his seat, Jennie began to look at him impatiently. She was ready for her gift and Nate could see by the expression on her face that she wasn’t going to wait any longer.
Nate reached into his pocket and pulled out the box. For a brief second, he held it just below the table, steeling his nerves, and then he finally placed it in the middle of the table so she could reach it. At that very moment, a group of servers walked through the restaurant singing Happy Birthday to a patron on the far side of the room. The commotion made it nearly impossible for them to carry on a normal conversation. Without saying a word, Jennie reached across the table and slid the box until it was right in front of her. While she held the box with one hand, she pulled off the silver paper with the other, and then laid it on the table so she could lift the lid. Beneath her fingers, the lid came off easily and Jennie got her first glance of the angel necklace.
Even though the singing stopped and all around them people chattered and dishes clanked, at their table for just a brief moment it felt like the world and all its noise and chaos disappeared and it was just them.
Jennie’s reaction gave away her surprise, and then almost immediately Nate saw the emotion well up inside of her in the form of tears that brimmed in her eyes but never fell. With one hand, Jennie reached in and carefully took out the necklace. It hung loosely on her fingers as she inspected every detail of the chain and then the delicately crafted angel charm.
Nate couldn’t actually hear her, but he watched her lips form the words, “It’s beautiful.”
When she was done inspecting it, she unhooked the clasp to wrap it around her bare neck. Nate stood up to help her, his capable hands taking the delicate chain and hooking the clasp before she even realized he had a hold of it. While his hand lingered near her neck the softness of her hair brushed against his skin. Even with such brief contact, Jennie could feel the sensation, barely, but it was enough to make her start chewing nervously on her bottom lip.
Things had settled back into their comfortable pattern of friendship over the last couple of weeks, but tonight emotions ran high, making friendship seem grey and lifeless compared to what could be. Even in the crowded restaurant, there was no mistaking the heightened feelings between them. Jennie wanted to throw her arms around Nate and kiss him until she needed to stop to breathe, and then breathe only long enough so that she could go back to kissing him, but she didn’t. Instead, she looked at him as she absently ran her fingers along the chain of the necklace and tried to figure out how to tell him that she had fallen in love with him.
As if she had carefully planned to wreck their moment, their server appeared with their pizza. Nate smiled at Jennie as she eagerly reached out to take her first slice, but she could see that so much more was brewing behind his smile…and she was right. Every time he looked at her with the necklace gracefully draped across her neck, he was reminded of the nearly unbearable truth that his time with her was short and his feelings for her painfully strong. It was all he could do to force himself to eat and go on with the night, but he did it for Jennie’s sake, always bearing in mind Celeste’s experiences and how he might hurt Jennie if he did or said the wrong thing.
After dinner Nate drove her home, staying as close to the speed limit as he could to make their time last a little longer. He knew he had a lonely Christmas ahead of him sitting in a hotel room somewhere far enough away that he couldn’t go to Jennie’s on an impulse. When they got to her house, he turned off the engine and they sat in his dark car like they had dozens of times before. The cold air outside and their warm breath began to fog up the windows almost immediately. Jennie ran her finger along the window and wrote thank you in the moisture. Nate laughed and stretched across her to write you’re welcome beneath her words. Jennie felt herself suck in her breath just from the feel of having him so close.
Nate couldn’t help but notice Jennie’s reaction to their closeness. He knew if they stayed in the car much longer, things would get sticky.
“You’d better get inside and I’d better get ready for my trip,” he suggested gently.
Jennie heard him but seemed unfazed by his invitation to go their separate ways. Nate couldn’t see the details of her face in the dark but he could see her eyes filled with determination. Nate had seen that look before. It meant that Jennie had made up her mind about something, and Nate knew that whatever it was, there was no changing it.
Jennie put her hand on the door handle but didn’t move. “When you get back,” she said, “I need to talk to you about something.”
Nate cringed. He had a pretty good idea about what she had on her mind.
“Okay, we’ll talk on your birthday,” he conceded, hoping that a few days would distract her from the way it felt to sit in the dark car together. Nate made a mental note. They needed to keep more friends around them when they were out together.
“I’ll see you in a few days,” he promised.
To Nate’s relief, Jennie finally pulled the door handle and climbed out. As usual, Nate met her on the sidewalk and walked with her to the door. By some miracle at the same time they arrived at the porch, her mother was coming outside to get something from her car, disrupting their privacy. Nate took the opportunity to say a quick goodbye, thank her again for the camera, and then slip away while she showed her mother the necklace on the porch.
As he drove away, he felt sick inside that in a few short days she would tell him that she loved him. Finally, the simultaneously horrible and wonderful truth would be out in the open. And what would he say in return? He couldn’t really tell her,
I can’t love you even though I do
. He couldn’t simply say to her,
it’s against the rules…I’m not allowed to love you
. Not only would that make him sound incredibly stupid, it would also lead to more questions and even worse, forbidden answers. The conversation was a disaster waiting to happen, and if it happened, he wouldn’t be able to keep her alive. Somehow, he had to find a way to make it so that she never said those three words. He would wrack his brain until he came up with a solution. He had nothing but time, at least for the next eight days.
Eight days later, when Nate arrived at Jennie’s house for her birthday party, the house was already full of people. Nate had made sure it would be. Jennie wanted him to come early to talk, but he found an excuse that would sound legitimate enough to get him off the hook, at least for now.
For Nate, his time away had felt like an eternity. In past years, Nate had spent Christmas with people he’d protected and some without anyone, but he had never felt as lonely as he did over the last eight days. He’d even cut his trip a day short to come back to his own apartment, and, for the first time in his existence, coming back actually felt like coming home.
Now as he stood on Jennie’s porch he prepared himself for what he knew was going to be a difficult night. Nate rang the doorbell but no one responded. After knocking, he opened and called out. “Hello.”
Just as he was about to step in, Jennie’s mother came around the corner wearing red and white plaid oven mitts. She greeted him with an embrace without taking off the mitts and said, “Jennie’s in the kitchen with some friends.”
Nate followed her through the house. The sweet scent of something baking floated through the air, and Nate could hear the voices of several people he knew even before he could see them. When Nate walked into the room, Jennie didn’t notice him right away. Marissa was the first to say something. “Well, look at blondie,” she commented, noticing that he’d dressed up for the party. “Don’t you clean up nice.”
When she heard Marissa talking to him, Jennie pushed her way through the crowd of people in the kitchen to come and greet him. Before long, she was standing in front of him, looking radiant. Her curls fell freely around her face and her eyes were carefully made up for the night’s festivities. Nate held out a box of her favorite dark chocolate, wrapped only with a large gold bow.
“Thanks,” she said, feeling strangely shy. Jennie took the chocolates and placed them in her pantry before pulling Nate outside on the patio where it was quieter. Nate could feel his muscles tense as the dark night closed in around them.
“Finally, alone,” Jennie said.
“Yeah, we really should get back in there,” Nate tried. “Your guests are going to wonder where you are.”
Even in the cool night air, Jennie could see that Nate’s skin was moist with perspiration.
“They’ll be all right,” she soothed, wondering why he was so nervous. “I just need to tell you something, and I can’t wait one more day.”
Nate glanced over her shoulder and saw Jennie’s mom walking towards the patio door. He just had to hold her off for another minute.
“I want to say something first,” he declared, then realized he had nothing planned. He looked around for some spark of inspiration, and then he noticed she was wearing the angel necklace. “The necklace, you’re wearing it,” he pointed out.
Jennienie instinctively reached down and ran her fingers over the length of the chain, then looked at him with a puzzled expression. “That’s what you wanted to say?” At that moment, Jennie’s mom came through the door. Nate breathed a sigh of relief. Jennie, on the other hand, looked irritated by her mom’s untimely interruption.
Her mother walked outside, completely unaware of either of their reactions to her sudden appearance.
“Hey, Jen, we want to cut the cake. Some of your friends have to take off soon.”
Jennie knew that meant the New Year’s Eve party at Blake’s house would be starting in a little while. She was also planning on making an appearance at the party after she spent a little more time at home with her family.