Authors: Rachel Hanna
He laughed as he hugged her close before releasing her and taking her suitcase. Leading her outside to the truck, he opened the door for her before storing her case and sliding in. On the drive back they didn’t bother with the radio, simply enjoying being back in each other’s company and able to talk in person rather than over the phone or via email.
Kay was overjoyed to see her and pulled her into the kitchen for iced tea and cake, insisting she tell her all about what she’d been up to since they’d last seen each other. When Philip arrived half an hour later all of them sat down to lunch together and Sophie told her aunt and uncle about her university acceptance. They were thrilled for her and repeatedly told her how proud they were of her.
Sophie fell back into the routine of life on the ranch easily. She had come for a week during Spring Break, as it would be the last time she would see Miller before he left for the military. They spent as much time as they could together, whether it was carrying out chores or simply enjoying a stroll. However, halfway through her stay Sophie found herself in the stable, regretting she had ever agreed to give in to Miller’s request. Staring between Blizzard and Miller, she let out an unconvinced huff.
“Exactly how is this going to benefit me again?”
“It won’t. It will make me happy though.”
“What? You said I would enjoy it.”
“Yes but I’ve said that so many times and you keep asking me, so you obviously don’t believe me.”
Sophie scowled at him. “Not doing your cause any favors, you know.”
“I’m going to be right with you.”
“Fine.” She grimaced. “Let’s get this over with.”
Miller grinned as he moved her into position. “Right, put your foot in my hands and I’ll give you a leg up. Remember, swing your leg over.”
She did as he directed and found herself a few seconds later sitting astride Blizzard. She felt distinctly uncomfortable and made sure he knew it. “You know,
you
might have been born in the saddle but I don’t think I’m cut out for this.”
“Just relax, you’re doing fine.”
“I’m sitting still. I’m not doing anything.”
He laughed as he indicated the reins. “Okay, hold on. I’m going to lead her out.”
Sophie took a breath and gripped the reins as Miller began to lead the horse outside. The horse felt huge and powerful beneath her and for the first time she truly appreciated how easy the ranch hands made riding look. Miller walked the horse over to a nearby arena, looking back at her every so often. Shutting the arena gate behind him, he gave her directions and stood back as she urged the horse to walk forwards. After a minute of sitting in the saddle as the horse plodded slowly around the arena, Sophie began to relax. This wasn’t so bad, she supposed. After a while Miller encouraged her into a trot, which was decidedly worse and required much more action on her part. Still, Miller kept calling out reassurances, informing her she was doing well, though in her opinion she felt like the most uncoordinated rider ever to sit on a horse’s back.
Eventually Miller called a halt to her trotting and came towards her to ask if she fancied a gentle horse ride to the nearby stream. She agreed in order to humor him, wanting to make him as happy as possible before he left for the army. Leading her back to the stables, he saddled one of the other horses before mounting it elegantly and leading the way outside and along the path that would take them to the stream. They took things at an easy walk and Sophie had to admit it was rather pleasant as the horses ambled along the path in the late afternoon. The stream was only a fifteen-minute ride away, leaving them plenty of time to get there and back before sunset.
“How you doing?” Miller turned around in his saddle and smiled at her as the horses walked in single file down the path.
“Fine, I guess. I much prefer the walking to the trotting.”
Miller laughed. “You’re doing really well for your first time on a horse.” He engaged her on a variety of topics as a means of distracting her from focusing on what she was doing and was pleased to see the way she unconsciously relaxed as they chatted. On reaching the stream, they let the horses drink before turning them around and making the sedate walk back to the stable. Miller was extremely pleased that Sophie had agreed to the ride because he’d wanted to share one of his favorite activities with her. He felt completely at home in the saddle, with an incredible sense of freedom, but he didn’t want to push his luck with Sophie. She’d ridden far more on her first try than he had expected her to.
They were five minutes away from the stable when Miller suddenly heard Sophie shriek. Whipping his body round, he saw Blizzard rear up on her back legs before she bolted forwards past his own horse. He just managed to catch sight of the snake as it slithered into the underbrush on the side of the path. Urging his own horse forward, he raced after Sophie, yelling at her to pull the reins to the side to force the horse’s head to turn but before she could act she lost her balance and went toppling off the saddle, hitting the ground with an audible thud and going limp where she lay.
Miller cursed at the sight and was already dismounting before his horse had come to a complete standstill beside her. Dropping to his knees, he leaned over her and spoke her name urgently, noting her closed eyes and the grimace on her face. “Sophie! Look at me.”
Gingerly she opened her eyes, gazing up at him without moving. “Miller…”
“Tell me where it hurts.”
“Lower back.” She gritted her teeth as she stared at him.
“How bad is it? Do you feel like you could move?”
“It feels like it’s going to leave one hell of a bruise…I really don’t feel like moving now.”
He scanned her body before asking “Does anywhere else hurt?”
“Nothing feels broken...”
He nodded quickly. “Okay. Soph, I’m going to help you to sit up.”
“Do I have to?”
“Yes. Come on, you can do this.” Bending low, he slipped his arm under her neck and began to raise her gently to a sitting position. She hissed in pain before wedging her arms underneath herself and pressing against the ground so she could raise her lower half slightly off the ground to relieve pressure. “Dang…my back really hurts.”
“Sophie, I’m going to feel around your back. I promise I’ll be gentle.” Reaching around her waist, he let his fingers drift slowly across her lower back until she winced.
“Ow! Don’t do that again.”
“I think I know what’s happened. You’ve hit your coccyx in the fall.”
“Well whatever I’ve done, I could do with a packet of painkillers.”
“Come on, I’ll help you stand up.” Supporting her weight, Miller helped her to a standing position with a few choice curses on Sophie’s part. It was too painful to ride back so they walked the rest of the way to the stables where Miller was able to hand off the horses to one of the ranch hands who happened to be inside before he helped Sophie to the main house.
“I’m so sorry, Sophie,” he murmured as she leaned on him for support.
“Don’t…ow….worry about it. Not a fan of snakes myself. Can’t really blame Blizzard.” She grimaced at the porch stairs but eventually completed the ascent where Kay waited for her, having been informed about what had happened by Miller. Kay took over, leading her slowly inside and settling her on the couch where she stretched out on her side in an attempt to relieve the pain, before accepting the painkillers that Kay offered her.
Knowing she was in capable hands, Miller returned to the stables to check on the horses again. He’d checked Blizzard over for any signs of bite marks but hadn’t seen any. It seemed that the snake had startled the horse, who had most likely almost stepped on it in the dusk light without realizing it was there, but had not actually bitten it. He was relieved beyond measure that neither the horse nor Sophie had been bitten but he could still feel the traces of dread that had gripped him on seeing her fall.
His workout that night was particularly tough in the hopes that it would make him tired enough to sleep quickly but though he was physically tired, his mind wouldn’t let him drift off. He kept replaying her fall in his head and the expression of agony on her face when he’d reached her. She had become his closest friend and the thought of anything happening to her caused a foreign sensation of fear to course through him. He wasn’t used to being afraid of things but the idea of Sophie being in danger or injured made him instantly want to leap to her defense.
Though he eventually managed to sleep, he awoke early and decided to find out how she was doing. After a quick breakfast he headed to Kay and Philip’s house. He caught them on their way out as they were heading to the local farmers’ market but they directed him upstairs as Sophie was staying behind to rest. Ascending the stairs quickly, he walked briskly to the guestroom and peered through the open door where he saw Sophie stretched out on the bed.
“Hey.” She offered him a smile as she looked up from the book she was reading.
“Hi. I wanted to check on the patient. How are you feeling?” He came towards her and sat on the edge of the bed.
“Doped up on painkillers, so not feeling much at all. It’s fantastic.” At his look of concern she laughed. “Hey, don’t look so worried. I’m feeling better than yesterday. There’s some swelling but Aunt Kay says it should be gone within a couple of days.”
“Yeah, well, you didn’t see the way you went careening off Blizzard. When I saw you lying on the floor in agony…it scared the crap out of me, Soph.”
Trying to put him at ease, Sophie’s tone was light and playful as she murmured “That’s hard to believe. I know you, Miller. Nothing seems to scare you. I’m mean, you’re going to be a soldier in the United States Army of all things and I’m more worried about you than you are.”
“The thought of something happening to you scares me.” His tone and gaze were serious as he reached out his hand and stroked her cheek gently. Before he realized what he was doing, Miller leaned over Sophie and placed his lips on hers. Soft, warm and impossible to refuse, when her lips parted and invited him deeper he acquiesced without a second’s thought. Her arms came up around his neck as she pulled him down further, a moan of pleasure escaping her lips at the sensation of his tongue exploring her mouth, her lips, her tongue...teasing and seductive.
One of her hands dropped away from his neck to skim down his side before she took hold of the hem of his t-shirt and dragged it partway up his chest, giving her access to the smooth expanse of bronzed skin and muscle beneath. The feel of her fingers exploring his bare skin sent him into overdrive. He crushed his mouth to hers, the weight of his body pinning her to the mattress as their kiss intensified to scorching point. Gripping his shirt with both hands, Sophie managed to yank it to the point where he paused in his kissing long enough to pull it off and discard it on the floor before claiming her mouth again. One hand cupped her hip as Miller pulled her close against him, while his other hand slid under the bottom of her vest and slowly skimmed its way up her side, pushing the vest with it.
He was just about to push the vest over her bra when he suddenly pulled back and shot to his feet as if the feel of her burnt him.
“What’s wrong?” Sophie pushed herself up to a sitting position as he stared at her, his breathing ragged.
“Damn…I’m so sorry. You have to believe me, I didn’t come here intending to do any of this.” He stepped back and turned to face away from her, raking the fingers of one hand through his hair as he took a deep breath.
Sophie pushed herself off the bed and came to stand beside him. When she reached out to touch his shoulder, he grabbed her wrist before uttering “Don’t”, and pushing her hand gently away from him.
“Miller, you can’t ignore this and neither can I.”
Refusing to look at her, he murmured “There’s nothing to ignore.”
“That’s not true and we both know it.” Stepping in front of him, she reached out and grasped his arms with both hands, forcing him to look at her. “Neither of us has wanted to admit it but this started even before New Year’s Eve and it’s only gotten stronger.”
“Sophie, you don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I know exactly what I’m saying. What I feel for you goes beyond friendship and you feel the same way about me.”
His tone was bitter as he retorted “So what if I do? It’s not like anything can happen.”
“Why not?”
“Sophie, for god’s sake, be reasonable. I’m going off to join the army in a couple of months. I’ll be stationed who knows where, continents away from you, while you’re studying at university in San Francisco. There’s no hope of any kind of romantic relationship between us. I won’t put our friendship on the line for the sake of trying some long-distance relationship that’s got next to zero percent chance of success.”
“I’m not asking you for a romantic relationship. I know in our situation any such relationship is essentially doomed before it’s begun. However that doesn’t change the fact that I want you to be my first.”
“Sophie, you’re killing me here.” Miller closed his eyes and tilted his head back, a look of frustration evident on his face. “Why could you possibly want that?”
“Why wouldn’t I? You’re my best friend, Miller. Nobody knows me or understands me like you do. We’ve been through a hell of an emotional rollercoaster together and come out the other end. You know all the bad things there are to know about me and still you’re my closest friend. I trust you and I want to give myself to someone who respects and cares for me. Don’t you want that for your first time?”