“Baby… ”
She heard the anguish in his voice, but suddenly, she wanted to get it out. Like a poison, she wanted to purge it from her system.
“It was awful. I had stripped down to my bra and panties when the door suddenly burst inward and Derek stalked in. I’d never seen him so enraged. He came right up to me and grabbed me by the throat. He yelled at me in an awful voice. I’ll never forget his words: ‘
Listen, bitch. I don’t get a lot out of this marriage. You’re a lousy cook and an even lousier lay. If that’s all I got, you are not going to deny me. So right now, you have two choices, you can start cooking or we start fucking. What’s it going to be?’
”
She paused for a moment, fighting back tears.
“I was stunned by the threats. Derek had never been physical before, so I hoped he was bluffing. I struggled to get free and scratched him—that’s when he started hitting me. I pleaded with him to stop, but he was mad drunk and started ripping off my clothes. He backhanded me across the cheek when I resisted, which sent me reeling, and I fell backwards onto the bed. That’s when he tied me up with my bra straps and tried to rape me.”
Inhaling deeply, she swallowed painfully, her throat dry and raspy. “By this time I was screaming, hoping one of the neighbors would call for help. I guess I was making too much noise for his liking because he used my torn panties as a gag.”
“Lexie, my God…” His voice broke with emotion as he pulled her closer.
“I was still making enough noise to raise the dead, so he grabbed one of the pillows and muffled my screams.
HHJH
I struggled and kicked when I felt him climb on top of me and pull my legs apart. He couldn’t hold the pillow and open his fly at the same time, thank God, so he loosened his grip on the pillow. I gasped for breath and screamed bloody murder. That’s when the police arrived.”
Her voice trailed off, a shudder racking her body as she relived the painful memories.
She was vaguely aware of Jonas’ thumb brushing the tears from her cheeks. It wasn’t until she looked up into his eyes, now hard as blue steel, that she realized Jonas had gathered her close sometime during the telling and now held her cradled in his arms.
“Tell me you nailed the motherfucker’s balls to the wall, Lex.”
“I pressed charges, yes.”
“How much time did he get?” His voice was low and chilling.
“Jonas—”
He continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “Where is he now? Please tell me he’s serving 10-15 for sexual assault and attempted rape.”
She didn’t say anything, afraid he’d fly off the handle if he knew.
“They prosecuted him, yeah?”
“He agreed to a plea deal.”
“What?”
“Does it matter?”
“Hell yes, it matters.”
“Please just let it go.”
“Lexie, it’s public record. I can look it up, which will take time, or you can tell now.”
“Fine. He pled guilty and served a year for felony assault.”
“A year? You are shitting me.” His near legendary self-control slipped a little. “That in itself is a crime. And without a sex crime conviction, he doesn’t have to register.”
“I know it seems like he got off lightly—” She choked on her tears as her voice broke. Taking a deep breath, she continued. “My attorney said this was the only way to avoid an ugly trial. I didn’t want to go through all that—I just couldn’t.”
“Baby, I’m so sorry. Come here.” Rolling her over, he scooped her against her chest, his lips against her hair as he whispered, “I wish I could have been there to protect you. I would have kicked his ass.”
“Uncle Pete took care of that somehow. Derek hobbled into the courtroom on crutches.” His expression didn’t change by hearing that. “Jonas, I don’t like that look in your eye. You promised you wouldn’t go after him.”
“No, Lex. I promised I wouldn’t do anything crazy.”
“Now I’m sorry I told you. Why won’t you let this go? It’s over.”
“I don’t think so. You’re a very sensual woman, and the prick took that from you. If this was behind you, baby, you wouldn’t have gone six long years without sex. You closed yourself off because of that asshole. And although I appreciate the general’s efforts on your behalf, that and a fuckin’ year in prison is a bullshit sentence. I’d just like to do a little follow-up and make sure he’s on the straight and narrow.”
“Well, I’m not telling you any more about him.”
“That’s okay, babe, you don’t have to.”
“And don’t be using Rossi to find him either.”
He laughed softly at that. “You know me pretty well already, don’t you? Just a few more questions about that time in your life.”
“What’s that?”
“Did you see anyone afterward? A rape counselor or a therapist?”
“I talked to someone at the shelter who gave me a referral.”
“You didn’t go, did you?”
Shaking her head, she avoided his gaze. Jonas was the only one she’d spoken to about this, other than Joanna and Peter, who she’d reached out to for help.
“Any bad dreams or flashbacks?”
“Not in a long time. I’m fine, Jonas, really.”
“You might be doing better, but you’re not fine.” His strong arms tightened around her in a firm hug. “I’m worried about you. Exploring BDSM might trigger something. Then there’s the incident with Benson. Would you see someone now? One of our members is a psychiatrist—kink friendly, of course. She specializes in trauma and PTSD.”
“I don’t think it’s necessary, really.”
Grasping her shoulders, he moved her away enough to look into her eyes. “I do. Lexie, you were assaulted by a man who should have loved and protected you—always—instead, he broke that trust. What if I went with you? We could talk about where you’ve been and where we’re headed as a couple. It didn’t escape my notice that gags, blindfolds, and breath play were hard limits for you, baby.”
She searched his eyes anxiously. This was the reason she hadn’t told him. She didn’t want him to treat her differently. Finally, she agreed to pacify him. “Okay¸ I’ll go.”
“Thank you, Sunshine. It will help me sleep better if nothing else.” Guiding her head to his shoulder, he wrapped her up, holding her securely against his chest.
“Lex, were you interested in D/s and spanking before all this went down? Or did this come about after?”
“Definitely before. I’ve had an interest since I was a teen, Jonas. I thought I was weird, so I started reading about it so I could understand why it interested me. That really ignited my curiosity.”
“You didn’t have a D/s dynamic with your ex or any other boyfriends? Why?”
“I was naïve and extremely shy, but I knew enough to know something was missing. Now I know what. Why is this important?”
“Some abuse survivors are drawn to BDSM for unhealthy or unsafe reasons. You aren’t into pain or some of the riskier, more extreme elements, but are seeking pleasure and a personal connection instead. Plus, your interest pre-dates the assault, so I’m happy to say you are most likely wired for D/s. Which is a relief, although I’d still like a professional opinion.”
“You seem to know a lot about it.”
“After a decade in the lifestyle, you pick up a few things.”
“That, dulcedo, is an understatement.”
He chuckled, then they both drifted off into silence, wrapped up in their own thoughts. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, baby. I wish I could have been there to protect you.” His impassioned whisper told her how much her ordeal affected him.
“I do, too,” she whispered as she rubbed her damp cheek against his hand. “Thank you for pushing me, Jonas. I feel better since I’ve shared.”
“I’m glad, Sunshine, ‘cause I feel like a real shit for putting you through that.”
“Don’t feel that way. Once again, you knew what was best for me. What was best for both of us, is to put this all behind us. Propping her forearm on his chest, she smiled down at him. “I know you never promised you wouldn’t. So, for the record, Sir, if you do end up going bat-shit crazy about this, I reserve the right to go Domme on your sexy ass.”
He laughed. “I hear you, baby, but trust me on this, that ain’t happening.”
ShSSSS
Even though Lexie had gotten Jonas to agree to postpone their next class and to delay any strenuous activities until his stitches were out, he wasn’t one to waste time. He started prepping Lexie for their next session the following evening.
After dinner, they lay side-by-side snuggled into the double lounger, which had quickly become their favorite cuddle spot. Jonas was stroking her, seeming to be cataloguing every dip and curve of her body with his fingertips. He’d long since stripped her of her camisole, leaving her upper body bare. Her protests were easily brushed aside as he’d assured her that the fourth-floor balcony with its stone railing provided plenty of privacy.
“I think it's time we resume practice. I want to see my ropes against your beautiful bare skin.” His fingers trailed down her stomach, smiling when her muscles contracted while she giggled and squirmed. “Ticklish?”
“I hadn’t thought so until now.”
Propping himself on an elbow, he bent his head and claimed her lips as his fingers continued their journey south. He stopped when he reached the waistband of her shorts, popped the button and unzipped the fly. Holding her breath, she felt the rush of moisture as he slid his hand inside her panties. She moved her legs apart, giving him room to play when she felt a light tug on the curls at the top of her mound.
“This little tuft of hair will have to go.”
“You want me bare?”
“I want you any way I can have you, baby, but rope is not gentle on hair. I think you’d prefer a professional wax rather than having each strand removed one at a time with my ropes.”
“Ouch!”
“Exactly. It’s also more aesthetically pleasing to see the ropes against bare, smooth skin. Imagine a Christmas tree tied up with rope?”
She snickered as that image came to mind. “Not a good look, huh?”
“No, think hedgehog in a hairnet.”
“Ewww! Stop, please. I’m not that bad, am I?”
At her expressed chagrin, he quickly offered his reassurance. “You have a gorgeous pussy with a small patch of pretty curls. All neat and trimmed, they frame this glorious treasure perfectly, but . . .”
“Please, no more hirsute analogies. I get the picture.”
“Good. Then let’s hit the showers and I’ll shave you.” Bounding off the lounger, he grabbed her hand and pulled her in his wake.
“Jonas . . . Wait!”
“Not happening, baby. I’ve waited over ten days. Now that the stitches are out, I’m ready to get back in the game.”
She could hear the anticipation in his voice as he led her through his huge bedroom and into the en-suite bath.
“I think I can do it myself, although I’ve never done it before, and no one’s ever asked me to.”
“No worries, honey. I’ll have you smooth and silky in the blink of an eye. I promise to be gentle and very careful.”
Standing next to his huge two-person Jacuzzi tub, she watched while he reached into the linen closet and pulled out a thick towel. He spread it over the wide ledge at the back of the tub, giving it a pat. “Strip, then hop up here and get comfortable.”
He busied himself gathering his supplies—razor, shaving cream, baby oil. Lexie noticed with a frown that it was women’s shaving cream, and what man used baby oil?
“I see you’ve done this before.”
“Neither of us were virgins when we met, Lex. You want to swap stories now?”
“Not particularly.”
“Excellent, me either.” Except for filling the tub, he had everything ready. As he stripped, he commented on her stalling. “You’re not where I asked you to be, Lexie. Remember we discussed who was in charge? That extends to the bedroom, BDSM play and sex anywhere else as well as in our classroom, of course.”
“I think you have a loose interpretation of ‘sex anywhere,’ Jonas. You might say you’re not into all that DD stuff like your buddies, but I think you’re fooling
yourself.”
“Hm… I do find my dominant nature rising to the surface where you’re concerned.”
“Um… when is it not on the surface, Jonas?”
He flashed his gorgeous smile at her and chuckled, “All this calls for additional consideration, Lex, but later—much later.” Since she still had clothes on, he assisted. He crouched and unzipped her shorts, hooking them along with her panties, and in the same motion, he tugged them down. Naked except for the twist of material around her ankles, Lexie watched his eyes home in on her little patch of curls. He pressed his face against her and rubbed his cheek into her downy softness.
“Once more for old time’s sake, shall we?” His nose in her curls, his mouth was perfectly aligned with her slit and he made the most of it. With a long, slow lick up inside, he ended with a flick of her clit by the tip of his tongue.
“You taste amazing.”
Lexie arched into him, but she couldn’t get far with her feet bound together with her twisted clothing. She grabbed his head for support, which pushed him tighter against her sensitive flesh. “Jonas, I’m falling.”
“Easy, baby, I’ve got you.” The strong arm around her waist anchored her as he murmured, “Step out,” and pulled her shorts and panties free from her ankles. He lifted her, setting her down on the back of the tub. “Lie back and spread for me.”
All business now, Jonas got to work, ignoring her flaming red face. He turned on the spigots, adjusting the water temperature to his liking, and flipped on the hand-held shower hose. After wetting her thoroughly, he lathered her up with aloe shave cream and began to remove every strand of hair. Efficiently using the four-blade razor, he shaved a bit and then ran his finger over her skin, checking for strays.
For Lexie it was equal parts sexual torture and extreme mortification, especially when he spread her pussy lips with his fingers. Her hands gripped the edge of the tub, knuckles blanching with the force of her grasp. Fighting for control, she couldn’t stop her legs trembling under the strain.
“Be very still now, this is the delicate part.” He then shaved her inner lips.
Anxious with the blade near her tender parts, Lexie concentrated on staying still. As he bent his head to his task, his breath brushed against her inner thighs.
Twice he rinsed her with a warm spray from the hose, lathered her up again and got the few remaining stray wisps. He finished by rubbing aloe lotion into her skin and the oil into the pink flesh in between. Then, for the first time since beginning, he looked at her, eyes blazing with need. His massage turned even more intimate as his oil-slickened fingers slid inside.
“How does it feel?”
“Different,” she gasped.
“You like it. You’re soaked.”
“Jonas!”
Switching off the shower hose, he engaged the plug, and the large tub began to fill with warm water. Abruptly, he pulled her to her feet and switched positions, taking her place on the wide ledge. “I want you to ride me.”
Guiding her with his hands on her hips, he helped her to straddle him. As she lowered herself onto his length, she felt every inch of him against her freshly denuded skin. It was unbelievably sensual and highly stimulating. “Ah…!”
He smiled against her lips, “Yeah, you like it.”
She rode him fast, once again quite enthusiastic with her passion. Feeling his fingers on her for the past fifteen minutes had primed her and brought her to the edge.
“So fuckin’ sweet, Sunshine,” Jonas groaned, aroused just as much from the act of shaving her.
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her face in his neck. “I don’t think I can wait Jonas.”
“I don’t want you to. Come for me, baby, give me all of your sweetness.”
His sexy words, spoken in a gruff whisper, sent her over the edge. His hands guided her hips, helping her to ride faster, taking him deep. As she convulsed around him, he found the edge, too, and they came spectacularly in each other’s arms.
Shortly thereafter, Jonas held her tight as he slid into the full bath, sending the water near to overflowing. Quickly, he shut off the faucet with his toe and then sank deeper. They both sighed as warmth enveloped them. Lexie wiggled her hips, with him still buried inside, her muscles twitching around him.
“It all feels so odd; the water sloshing against me, your skin against mine, even the warmth of the bath feels weird.”
“Weird good or weird bad?”
“I’m not so sure it’s weird good, but it’s definitely not weird bad.” Lifting her head, she asked her next question while looking into his deep blue eyes. “You like it, don’t you?”
“Yeah baby, I really do.”
She watched him for a moment, then her lips turned up in a sexy smile. “Okay then, that’s reason enough for me.”
“Thank you, Sunshine.”
“It was certainly my pleasure, dulcedo.”