Authors: Yara Greathouse
Unavoidable (17 page)
“Baby, is that really necessary? How come you don’t have protective gear on?”
“Because I know what I’m doing and it’s really hard for any opponent to get a punch
on me. I like to feel the pain when I do get hit, it keeps me on my toes and teaches
me to remain attentive. So you promise me that you are not going to hold back, I need
to make sure you are going to fight. So, if you come onto these mats, you are going
to give me one hundred percent. Otherwise turn around and leave.”
“Are you kidding me? I don’t hit girls.”
“No I am not kidding you, and for the record, you are not hitting a girl. You are
training with one and helping her to become better at self-defense. If you hold back,
you are not helping.”
Bubba comes with a bunch of foam products. The guy is as big as Notso and if Brianna
can tumble with him like nothing, then I better say my prayers. I put on a body armor,
headgear, shin guards and gloves like Brianna has, which Bubba says are grappling
gloves.
“Did you wear the protective cup under your shorts like I asked you to?”
“Yeah…” I said, sounding very insecure, “But you are not going to go for that area
a lot, right? After all, that’s your favorite body part, right?” Then I follow with
a nervous laugh.
“I will try to remember. Sometimes little details like that escape me.” She winks
and moves to drink some water. I look over at my so-called friends and they are laughing
it out with Ciara.
The big guy named Bubba is checking all of my gear and making sure everything is properly
secured. I take this opportunity to ask him a few questions.
“How long has she been training?” He looks at me suspiciously, then smiles.
“She has been with me since she came to town, but was highly recommended by her previous
trainer because I only train the best. I don’t waste my time with newbies. Man, it’s
okay to be nervous, but I promise, you will not hurt her. This girl is fast as hell.
If you are lucky to land a punch, it’s because she does not want you to feel bad.”
Then he had the audacity to snicker and laugh. I swallowed hard. I see her coming
back.
“Do you want to stretch a little before we start? Or if you want to warm up in any
way…”
“Nah, there’s no point on prolonging the consequence of my bad choices. Let’s do this!”
She comes my way and gives me a swift kiss on my lips before shoving a mouth guard
in my mouth. I’m toast, but I am going to try to save face and fake it like a champ.
“Colton, keep your hands up as much as possible.” She tells me right before Bubba
says ‘GO!’ and blows the whistle. Brianna comes towards me and looks like she is assessing
my fighting position. She comes at me and punches my hand. I think she did that to
make sure I was paying attention, because two seconds later she was on me, jabbing
me on the ribs and when I moved my hand to try to get a punch in, she moved back so
I missed her but then she came back in and hit me smack in the face – between my eyes
- making me lose my balance, and five seconds after the first punch I was down on
the mat thanks to a well landed straight kick to my chest. It felt like someone threw
a cannon ball straight into me. And of course, the cheering section is alive with
whistling and yelling for Brianna.
Brianna holds her hand down to help me get up.
“More?” She asks me. I nod.
Bubba rolls his eyes and shaking his head, he repeats the previous motions. I am a
little better prepared at what to expect, and when Brianna rushes me this time, I
effectively block the first, then second punch. I little smile crept up on my face,
and that’s when I realized Brianna was throwing me a bone, because she frowned, and
I swear I am not sure what happened. She was delivering a triple punch to my ribs,
then she stepped on my foot, which surprised me enough to let my guard down, and next
thing I know she is giving me a round house kick to my temple, I fell down and she
was on top of me. I think I took a few punches in the head before I felt her move.
“Come on Colton, you are not even trying!”
“Bullshit! You are fast as fucking lightening! You barely recoil when you are back
with more heat! How in the hell you have so much power on your punch? You are barely
what? A little over one hundred pounds?”
“Like a tried to tell you, but you don’t listen too well, it’s not about size, it’s
about the skills and endless hours of training. I need you to come hit me. I’ve got
to practice my blocking, otherwise sit down and let Bubba and I go at it.”
I get up, and go after her. She effectively, blocks my punches – all of them. So I
figure if I can get her down on the mat, then I can control her better. I tried to
put her in a bear hug, but before I could lock my grip, I had a knee in my crotch
and a fist on my chin, then everything went black.
Brianna
We were all surrounding Colton trying to bring him back to consciousness, when Bubba
came into the circle with smelling salts. A few waves back and forth under his nose
brought him back to life.
“I’m so sorry Colton, this was a bad idea…”
“It’s okay. I’m fine.” He tries to get up and falls back down on the mat. Crap!
“Maybe you need to stay there for a little longer.” Ciara said quietly rubbing his
forehead with a damp rag. Traxx looks at me and motions his head to the side for me
to join him for a side conversation. I get up to see what he has to say.
“Is he going to be okay?” Shit. He is angry.
“Look, I am sorry. I warned him that I can’t hold back, and he insisted he wanted
to do this. I didn’t mean to hit him so hard… It was a reaction. Let’s just take him
to your place. I’ll watch over him tonight, okay?”
“Fine, but you need to start acting like a girlfriend, not a killer CIA operative.”
He gives me a small crooked smile.
“Hey! I don’t know how to do ‘regular girlfriend’ bullshit. I am who I am, take it
or leave it.”
“What are you two whispering about over there?” Colton starts to get up.
“Nothing much.” Bubba’s checking Colton’s pupils and gives me a thumbs up signal.
“Come on, let’s take you home. We can order pizza, drink beer and hang out.”
“Only if you are going to give me a rubdown.” He smiles big at me. So naughty. “I
want to make sure y’all know that I went easy on her. It was hard for me to throw
a punch. The guys can attest that I know how to fight…”
“Hey! Your ego is intact. I promise. I don’t think less of you because you let me
punch you out. It’s kind of sweet, actually. I should have never let you do this.
Next time you can help me practice, but that is as far as we are going to let it go.”
I help him take off the protective gear and he places a hand over my shoulder and
I hold him by the waist. I take the ice pack Bubba gives me and hold it against his
left cheek.
“You know how cool it is to have a kickass girlfriend? Shit, when I need you to beat
up somebody, they won’t even see it coming. I bet these two are scared – aren’t you?”
He nods towards Traxx and Notso.
“Shitless.” Says Notso in a matter of fact way, looking at me with wide eyes.
Ciara pipes in “I’m even scared of you sometimes. Luckily it takes a lot to get you
pissed off!”
“You guys are exaggerating… Let’s get out of here. I’m hungry!” We all head to the
parking lot.
“I will ride with Ciara and you guys ride in Colton’s truck.” Traxx said and I noticed
Notso giving him a dirty look. He shakes his head and helps me get Colton situated
in the back seat. I sit down with him and place his head on my lap. At least I get
to run my fingers through his perfect hair on the way there.
“I wasn’t kidding when I said that I deserve a rubdown when we get to my place.” Colton
says with a sly smile.
“Perhaps that could be arranged.” I bend down and kiss him on his lips upside down.
“Mmm… don’t start anything you are not willing to finish, Tiny Fighter.”
“The actual question should be would you be able to keep up with me in bed or will
it be a match like the one we just had?”
“Well… when we are in bed I can guarantee that you will win at least twice, if you
catch my drift…” Oh, that smile alone causes me to start to lose control.
“Dude, shut up! Turn it down a notch. I think I might be the one losing something,
like the contents of my stomach, for example.” Notso chimes in. We laugh, and Colton
holds one of my hands, and with the other I continue to comb his hair.
Chapter 14
Colton
As we arrive at the house, we climb out of the vehicle and see a red Jeep pull in
as we walk up the driveway.
“That’s Keagan.” Explains Traxx. The girls look at him with questioning eyes. They
obviously have not heard of Traxx’s cousin.
With the girls’ eyes on the Jeep, Keagan slides out. She is a beautiful red head,
who I once considered casually dating until Traxx offered to re-arrange my face if
I dared to try.
“Hi guys, I hope you don’t mind me dropping by without calling first. I was just bored
at home and went out for a drive, next thing I know I’m here.” She gives Notso a once
over and a shy smile.
“Not at all,” I tell her, “we were getting ready to hang out for a while. This is
Brianna, my girlfriend, and that’s Ciara. Ladies, this is Keagan, Traxx’s cousin.”
They all smile saying their hellos to each other and we move inside. In the living
room, she looks at me for the first time and her eyes grow large and she gasps while
putting her hand over her mouth.
“What the hell happened to you, Colton?”
“I was an ignorant fool who wouldn’t believe a girl could pack a punch, and now I
stand corrected.” There is plenty of snickering at first, then they all start laughing
and re-enacting the story for Keagan’s benefit. I slowly turn around cussing under
my breath and grab Brianna’s hand half-dragging her towards my bedroom. She is giggling.
I roll my eyes and shake my head trying to hide my smile, but I can’t. I should have
listened when she tried to tell me.
“What about the body rub I was promised?” I go to the bathroom and see my lip and
chin are swollen. Plus I have a major headache.
“First things first. Take some ibuprofen to help the pain. You will need some more
before going to bed.”
Twisting around, I take the pills she is offering, and swallow them with water from
the faucet. Meeting her eyes in the mirror, I turn around and wrap my arms around
her waist. “I have it on good authority that you are the best medicine I can have.
Just looking at you helps me forget about my aching body. Your touch makes me feel
like I’m lying on the grass at night with a cool breeze, watching fireworks cascade
across the sky and feeling their tremors all over my body.” Letting her know my intent,
I kiss her deeply.
“In that case, you and I need to take a quick hot shower, no hanky panky,” she wags
her finger in front of my face, “so I can give you the massage you so desperately
need. I have some great stuff for achy muscles in my gym bag…”
“Right now the only achy muscle I can think of resides between my legs.” I take her
bottom lip between my teeth and bite gently, releasing only to lick it slowly. I slide
one of my hands to her breast and slowly pinch her nipple, then rub it with the pad
of my thumb to appreciate its hardness.
“If you keep this up, I will be forced to leave the room. I don’t want you to be all
achy, so we need to get going or you will not be able to move tomorrow. So, Mr. Maxwell,
I recommend we get in a hot shower, wash this stink away and then I will give you
the best
naked
massage you have ever had.”
“Yes, ma’am! I have never had a naked massage before – this is exciting!” I tell her
while I rub my hands together like a little kid and march towards the shower while
taking off my clothes in a very exaggerated way, trying to tempt her, but she was
not buying it. Turning on the hot water, the steam starts almost immediately. Brianna
hits the exhaust fan to avoid foggy mirrors before following me into the shower.
I must confess that regardless of how hard I tried, I was unable to convince Brianna
that we could enjoy the shower again like we did earlier that morning, and in turn,
she promised that she would ride me like a wild horse after the massage. After hearing
that, I rushed to get out of the shower in order to move things along a lot quicker.
I actually carried her to the bed while she was still completely wet, then it became
a game of her trying to get off the bed and me placing her right back in it. Seeing
me relent due to all the movement emphasize the strains in my bruised torso, Brianna
bent to retrieve her bag from the floor taking out a few bottles and a small bowl.
I lifted the discarded towel where I had dropped it on the floor, and stepped close
to her to finish drying her off, I pressed the towel around her long, wet hair, stopping
the rivulets of water from running down her back. She smiled over her shoulder at
me and continued to pour drops of liquid from the bottles into the bowl.
“What do you have there?” I asked her.
She glances quickly at my face. “My own concoction for treating sore muscles. A good
amount of almond oil, six drops of peppermint oil, fifteen drops of sandalwood oil
and nine drops of cinnamon oil.”
“And what is that going to do to me?”
“The heat will penetrate your well lubricated skin, and will help to reduce inflammation.
The inflammation is significant enough for me to believe there may be tiny tears in
your muscles. A well delivered massage helps reduce the cytokines – proteins – and
increase mitochondria – which converts cellular energy into fuel. This helps them
extract oxygen which helps the blood flow, ultimately lessening the inflammation.”
I stare at her, incredulous at the clinical explanation she just verbalized for my
benefit, and I am captivated by her knowledge and how smart she really is. I am one
lucky bastard to have her in my life. Feelings overwhelm me, but instead of trying
to make sense of them, I simply kiss her, trying to convey what is going on inside
through my affection towards her.
She pulls back slowly, and smiles softly while mixing the oils in her small bowl.
“On the bed, buddy. It’s time for you to let me help you feel better.”
I lay on my stomach to start with. She straddles me and sits right on top of my ass
cheeks. I should have lain on my back. Then she would have been ripe for the taking.
“Get your mind out of the gutter, Colton!”
“How do you…?”
“I can tell by the sexy smirk on your face. Now stop thinking about sex and talk to
me while I do this. I forgot to turn on my playlist, so you pay the piper by talking
to me.”
Her palms start the impressive series of movements up and down my torso. “What do
you want to know?”
“Were you popular in high school?”
“You could say that.”
“Who did you take to your senior prom?”
“Brittney McKinney.”
Brianna was quiet for a moment. She uses a combination of palms, thumbs, knuckles
and even her arm and elbow in order to work deep into the muscle tissue.
“What did she look like?”
“Your typical all-American cheerleader stereotype. Blonde, petite but with a big personality.”
I am starting to wonder if this is going somewhere. “What about you?”
“I didn’t go to prom. Were you dating this Brittney girl?”
“Yes, in high school I dated a lot of girls. I also dated a lot of girls when I got
here, but my interests have changed since I met you.”
“I’m not the jealous type. I’m not going to lose my marbles because you used to date
some girls. Don’t worry.”
“How come you didn’t go to prom? Where you an ugly duckling and nobody had enough
common sense to ask you?”
“Nope. That’s not it.” Shit, her voice has changed and I can feel her body tensing
up… I hope I didn’t fuck this up. “I, um… ran away from home when I was sixteen. I
didn’t graduate from high school. Later I earned a GED, but I never had a chance to
go to prom and get all dressed up and dream about a cute boy asking me to dance.”
I tried to turn around but she didn’t let me. “No, stay there, it’s easier this way
– if you’re not looking at me, it’s easier to talk about my past.” I knew how hard
it could be to peel back the layers that encase your innermost self… even if it is
just one thin piece. She continued to rub my skin methodically. I wanted her to keep
talking. I nodded and she continued.
“My dad and mom divorced when I was really little, still a toddler. My dad moved to
another country, I’m not sure which one and my mother would not tell me. Everything
was fine for the first few years, then things started to go downhill. It never was
a financial issue, my mother inherited a lot of money from her parents and we were
comfortable. I had everything that I needed, with the exception of my mother’s attention
and love. She said that every time she looked at me, all she could see was my dad’s
face. I guess I look a lot like him. There are no pictures, she burned them all after
the divorce.
“My mother’s demise was her love for alcohol. As the years passed by, she became more
and more obsessed with drinking. She worked and she was successful at work, they call
it ‘High Functioning Alcoholic’ in medical terminology. She could perform well socially,
coming home every evening to rendezvous with the bottle. As I was growing up, she
would yell and say many crude things to me. Things that no child should ever hear,
especially from the only parent a child has. They were things meant to demolish my
spirit. Luckily I was always stubborn and I would see how my friends’ parents treated
them, so I realized early on that my house was not normal. I would read books and
stories with happy endings and watch old TV shows on cable and those things kept me
hoping that one day I could have that love from my mom.
“As I got older, life got more…difficult, to say the least. The screams and insults
turned into pushing and shoving, and then later on I became Brianna the punching bag.
I would try to run away from her or lock myself in the safety of my room, or escape
outside and hide in the storage building until things got quiet and I knew she had
fallen asleep… Then, when I turned sixteen she refused to sign my work permit so that
I could get a job after school. She knew that by earning money I would try to get
my own place and she wanted me there, to continue being available during all her outbursts.
“She was right. I would have left if I had the means. That was my reality check. I
decided I didn’t want to live a life like that. I packed a duffel bag and whatever
little birthday money I had saved up and… I just… I just left.”
Brianna’s voice had trailed off to a whisper at this point. My heart was breaking
for her. “My parents were controlling and neglected me when I was growing up, but
I did not have to go through the hell that you have endured.” I started to turn around
again and she asked me not to. She moved to my side and started to massage my arm.
I turned my head to look at her. She glanced at me with sad eyes, but mostly avoided
looking at me.
“What did you do after you left? Did you go stay with family or friends?” I asked
her quietly.
“I could not stay in my home town because I would have ended up back with my mother
sooner or later. I did not trust anyone to try to keep me away from her. She had money
and could use it to bribe anybody. My only way out, as I saw it, was to go to another
town and try to live my life. I got on the bus and went as far away as the bus route
would take me, then I bought a Greyhound ticket to another state.”
She pressed her generous lips into a thin, tight line. I tried to press on but deep
inside of me I knew she was finished sharing, but I pressed her for more details anyway.
“What did you do after that? Where did you go?”
She looked at me with heavy eyes and gave me a sideways smile. “How about you get
on your back now? Hmm, I think it’s time for you to tell me something about yourself
while I touch your awesome, muscular body all over.”
Yeap. I was right. Just like that she pulled that tiniest layer tight, closing herself
back up. “For the record, I can tell you are changing the subject, and I am okay with
that because I made you a promise. Please understand that there is nothing that you
could have ever done that will cause me to judge you.” I move to hold her cheek in
my palm and rub her soft skin with my thumb. “You are the most amazing girl I have
ever met, and I am humbled and grateful that you took a chance and chose me to be
with.
Colton
As we arrive at the house, we climb out of the vehicle and see a red Jeep pull in
as we walk up the driveway.
“That’s Keagan.” Explains Traxx. The girls look at him with questioning eyes. They
obviously have not heard of Traxx’s cousin.
With the girls’ eyes on the Jeep, Keagan slides out. She is a beautiful red head,
who I once considered casually dating until Traxx offered to re-arrange my face if
I dared to try.
“Hi guys, I hope you don’t mind me dropping by without calling first. I was just bored
at home and went out for a drive, next thing I know I’m here.” She gives Notso a once
over and a shy smile.
“Not at all,” I tell her, “we were getting ready to hang out for a while. This is
Brianna, my girlfriend, and that’s Ciara. Ladies, this is Keagan, Traxx’s cousin.”
They all smile saying their hellos to each other and we move inside. In the living
room, she looks at me for the first time and her eyes grow large and she gasps while
putting her hand over her mouth.
“What the hell happened to you, Colton?”
“I was an ignorant fool who wouldn’t believe a girl could pack a punch, and now I
stand corrected.” There is plenty of snickering at first, then they all start laughing
and re-enacting the story for Keagan’s benefit. I slowly turn around cussing under
my breath and grab Brianna’s hand half-dragging her towards my bedroom. She is giggling.
I roll my eyes and shake my head trying to hide my smile, but I can’t. I should have
listened when she tried to tell me.
“What about the body rub I was promised?” I go to the bathroom and see my lip and
chin are swollen. Plus I have a major headache.
“First things first. Take some ibuprofen to help the pain. You will need some more
before going to bed.”
Twisting around, I take the pills she is offering, and swallow them with water from
the faucet. Meeting her eyes in the mirror, I turn around and wrap my arms around
her waist. “I have it on good authority that you are the best medicine I can have.
Just looking at you helps me forget about my aching body. Your touch makes me feel
like I’m lying on the grass at night with a cool breeze, watching fireworks cascade
across the sky and feeling their tremors all over my body.” Letting her know my intent,
I kiss her deeply.
“In that case, you and I need to take a quick hot shower, no hanky panky,” she wags
her finger in front of my face, “so I can give you the massage you so desperately
need. I have some great stuff for achy muscles in my gym bag…”
“Right now the only achy muscle I can think of resides between my legs.” I take her
bottom lip between my teeth and bite gently, releasing only to lick it slowly. I slide
one of my hands to her breast and slowly pinch her nipple, then rub it with the pad
of my thumb to appreciate its hardness.
“If you keep this up, I will be forced to leave the room. I don’t want you to be all
achy, so we need to get going or you will not be able to move tomorrow. So, Mr. Maxwell,
I recommend we get in a hot shower, wash this stink away and then I will give you
the best
naked
massage you have ever had.”
“Yes, ma’am! I have never had a naked massage before – this is exciting!” I tell her
while I rub my hands together like a little kid and march towards the shower while
taking off my clothes in a very exaggerated way, trying to tempt her, but she was
not buying it. Turning on the hot water, the steam starts almost immediately. Brianna
hits the exhaust fan to avoid foggy mirrors before following me into the shower.
I must confess that regardless of how hard I tried, I was unable to convince Brianna
that we could enjoy the shower again like we did earlier that morning, and in turn,
she promised that she would ride me like a wild horse after the massage. After hearing
that, I rushed to get out of the shower in order to move things along a lot quicker.
I actually carried her to the bed while she was still completely wet, then it became
a game of her trying to get off the bed and me placing her right back in it. Seeing
me relent due to all the movement emphasize the strains in my bruised torso, Brianna
bent to retrieve her bag from the floor taking out a few bottles and a small bowl.
I lifted the discarded towel where I had dropped it on the floor, and stepped close
to her to finish drying her off, I pressed the towel around her long, wet hair, stopping
the rivulets of water from running down her back. She smiled over her shoulder at
me and continued to pour drops of liquid from the bottles into the bowl.
“What do you have there?” I asked her.
She glances quickly at my face. “My own concoction for treating sore muscles. A good
amount of almond oil, six drops of peppermint oil, fifteen drops of sandalwood oil
and nine drops of cinnamon oil.”
“And what is that going to do to me?”
“The heat will penetrate your well lubricated skin, and will help to reduce inflammation.
The inflammation is significant enough for me to believe there may be tiny tears in
your muscles. A well delivered massage helps reduce the cytokines – proteins – and
increase mitochondria – which converts cellular energy into fuel. This helps them
extract oxygen which helps the blood flow, ultimately lessening the inflammation.”
I stare at her, incredulous at the clinical explanation she just verbalized for my
benefit, and I am captivated by her knowledge and how smart she really is. I am one
lucky bastard to have her in my life. Feelings overwhelm me, but instead of trying
to make sense of them, I simply kiss her, trying to convey what is going on inside
through my affection towards her.
She pulls back slowly, and smiles softly while mixing the oils in her small bowl.
“On the bed, buddy. It’s time for you to let me help you feel better.”
I lay on my stomach to start with. She straddles me and sits right on top of my ass
cheeks. I should have lain on my back. Then she would have been ripe for the taking.
“Get your mind out of the gutter, Colton!”
“How do you…?”
“I can tell by the sexy smirk on your face. Now stop thinking about sex and talk to
me while I do this. I forgot to turn on my playlist, so you pay the piper by talking
to me.”
Her palms start the impressive series of movements up and down my torso. “What do
you want to know?”
“Were you popular in high school?”
“You could say that.”
“Who did you take to your senior prom?”
“Brittney McKinney.”
Brianna was quiet for a moment. She uses a combination of palms, thumbs, knuckles
and even her arm and elbow in order to work deep into the muscle tissue.
“What did she look like?”
“Your typical all-American cheerleader stereotype. Blonde, petite but with a big personality.”
I am starting to wonder if this is going somewhere. “What about you?”
“I didn’t go to prom. Were you dating this Brittney girl?”
“Yes, in high school I dated a lot of girls. I also dated a lot of girls when I got
here, but my interests have changed since I met you.”
“I’m not the jealous type. I’m not going to lose my marbles because you used to date
some girls. Don’t worry.”
“How come you didn’t go to prom? Where you an ugly duckling and nobody had enough
common sense to ask you?”
“Nope. That’s not it.” Shit, her voice has changed and I can feel her body tensing
up… I hope I didn’t fuck this up. “I, um… ran away from home when I was sixteen. I
didn’t graduate from high school. Later I earned a GED, but I never had a chance to
go to prom and get all dressed up and dream about a cute boy asking me to dance.”
I tried to turn around but she didn’t let me. “No, stay there, it’s easier this way
– if you’re not looking at me, it’s easier to talk about my past.” I knew how hard
it could be to peel back the layers that encase your innermost self… even if it is
just one thin piece. She continued to rub my skin methodically. I wanted her to keep
talking. I nodded and she continued.
“My dad and mom divorced when I was really little, still a toddler. My dad moved to
another country, I’m not sure which one and my mother would not tell me. Everything
was fine for the first few years, then things started to go downhill. It never was
a financial issue, my mother inherited a lot of money from her parents and we were
comfortable. I had everything that I needed, with the exception of my mother’s attention
and love. She said that every time she looked at me, all she could see was my dad’s
face. I guess I look a lot like him. There are no pictures, she burned them all after
the divorce.
“My mother’s demise was her love for alcohol. As the years passed by, she became more
and more obsessed with drinking. She worked and she was successful at work, they call
it ‘High Functioning Alcoholic’ in medical terminology. She could perform well socially,
coming home every evening to rendezvous with the bottle. As I was growing up, she
would yell and say many crude things to me. Things that no child should ever hear,
especially from the only parent a child has. They were things meant to demolish my
spirit. Luckily I was always stubborn and I would see how my friends’ parents treated
them, so I realized early on that my house was not normal. I would read books and
stories with happy endings and watch old TV shows on cable and those things kept me
hoping that one day I could have that love from my mom.
“As I got older, life got more…difficult, to say the least. The screams and insults
turned into pushing and shoving, and then later on I became Brianna the punching bag.
I would try to run away from her or lock myself in the safety of my room, or escape
outside and hide in the storage building until things got quiet and I knew she had
fallen asleep… Then, when I turned sixteen she refused to sign my work permit so that
I could get a job after school. She knew that by earning money I would try to get
my own place and she wanted me there, to continue being available during all her outbursts.
“She was right. I would have left if I had the means. That was my reality check. I
decided I didn’t want to live a life like that. I packed a duffel bag and whatever
little birthday money I had saved up and… I just… I just left.”
Brianna’s voice had trailed off to a whisper at this point. My heart was breaking
for her. “My parents were controlling and neglected me when I was growing up, but
I did not have to go through the hell that you have endured.” I started to turn around
again and she asked me not to. She moved to my side and started to massage my arm.
I turned my head to look at her. She glanced at me with sad eyes, but mostly avoided
looking at me.
“What did you do after you left? Did you go stay with family or friends?” I asked
her quietly.
“I could not stay in my home town because I would have ended up back with my mother
sooner or later. I did not trust anyone to try to keep me away from her. She had money
and could use it to bribe anybody. My only way out, as I saw it, was to go to another
town and try to live my life. I got on the bus and went as far away as the bus route
would take me, then I bought a Greyhound ticket to another state.”
She pressed her generous lips into a thin, tight line. I tried to press on but deep
inside of me I knew she was finished sharing, but I pressed her for more details anyway.
“What did you do after that? Where did you go?”
She looked at me with heavy eyes and gave me a sideways smile. “How about you get
on your back now? Hmm, I think it’s time for you to tell me something about yourself
while I touch your awesome, muscular body all over.”
Yeap. I was right. Just like that she pulled that tiniest layer tight, closing herself
back up. “For the record, I can tell you are changing the subject, and I am okay with
that because I made you a promise. Please understand that there is nothing that you
could have ever done that will cause me to judge you.” I move to hold her cheek in
my palm and rub her soft skin with my thumb. “You are the most amazing girl I have
ever met, and I am humbled and grateful that you took a chance and chose me to be
with.
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