Two Outta Three (Two Outta Three #1) (18 page)

I shook my head, completely rendered mute. My heart leaped as I watched him move towards me. An inch there, a centimeter here. Each time he moved, I felt the couch bounce slightly.

“I stayed in my car, wondering if I should go in and bother you. Hell, I sure wanted to.”

I swallowed. “Why?”

Come on, Jesse. Say it out loud so I know it’s the truth.

“You know why,” he said pointedly.

“Do I?”

At this point he was so close to me I could feel his body heat permeate through my clothing. The stupid threadbare t-shirt he gave me did nothing to protect me from his warmth. He reached out and ran his thumb down the side of my face and said, “I saw Ethan walk out with extremely, extremely messy hair. His little poof was no longer a poof.”

I gulped as his fingertips traveled down to my chin.

“I was angry, but why? I had no right to be angry. We weren’t even good friends anymore.”

My heart was thrashing, crying out for sedation.

His fingers trailed to my collarbone, lightly resting on top of the shirt. “Did he touch you like this? Did he lean into you like this?” Jesse brought his face forward so that his lips lightly grazed my ear. “And whisper sweet nothings in your ear?”

Holy shit! If it weren’t for my nerves I’d probably need a change of underwear by now.

Jesse lifted his fingertips off my clavicle, one by one with unbearable slowness. The innocent act alone caused me to squirm and I had to try my best to suppress the little whimper which was growing inside my throat.

To my disappointment, he pulled away. This was short-lived however, because soon he reached out and ran a fingertip down the length of my arm. In a gruff tone he asked, “Did he touch you like this? Gentle, the way you deserve to be treated?”

“I’m not glass.” My voice cracked.

“No,” he agreed. “Just someone special.”

The lump in my throat was forming quickly. I swallowed it back and shook my head, pulling back my arm. “Why are you doing this? Why are you asking these questions? This isn’t right.”

“What do you mean?” His chest rose and fell quickly. His eyes were narrow slits bordered by his light colored eyelashes, so I couldn’t read the expression behind them.

“I can’t keep up with your moods, Jesse. First you’re cold, then you’re aloof, and now you’re—”

“Hot?”

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, trying to calm myself. “Please make up your mind about me.”

“I already told you how I felt,” he argued.

“When?” I demanded.

“At my restaurant? The photo?”

Say it out loud, Jesse. Spell it out for me. I need to hear you say it.

“That didn’t mean anything to me,” I lied.

Jesse’s eyes lit up as if he just accepted a challenge. He moved forward, knocking off the throw pillow from his lap and revealing a pretty prominent looking tent. “I heard you talking in your sleep. I’d like to say that it did mean something to you. You said my name and how much you cared about me—”

“I always thought that when this happened you wouldn’t be talking about another guy first!” I blurted out before I could stop myself. When I realized what I had done, I pulled back and leaned into the arm of the couch. I averted my gaze, feeling the heat rise up my face.

I heard him take a sharp breath. “When what happened?”

I didn’t respond and continued staring at the TV, busying myself by memorizing the 800 number that kept flashing on the screen.

After another short breath, I felt Jesse’s hand on me again. This time he reached out and cupped my chin, turning it towards him. His voice was octaves deeper, cracking with each staggered breath he took. “You don’t want to talk about another guy, huh? Fine, let’s talk about me then, because I know exactly what I would do to you.”

I was trembling, full of budding anticipation.

He released my chin and pressed his thumb against my mouth, rubbing the length of my bottom lip. “I’d take my time to explore each curve, each crevice of your body. I know you’re not fragile by any means, but I’d treat you like any treasure should be handled.”

“H-how’s that?” I stammered.

He grinned. “With awe and all the care in the world.”

His hand traveled up to my hairline, brushing my waves back so they fell softly across my shoulder. I was rendered catatonic, so entranced with each word he spoke and each touch he gave. I was afraid that if I moved, I’d wake up to find out this was another dream.

The tips of his fingernails grazed my cheek lightly, eliciting a pleasurable sensation that caused goose bumps to travel up and down my arm. “I’d map out your body, taking in your favorite spots and bookmarking them for future reference.”

“Bookmarking.” I couldn’t help but giggle a bit.

He grinned. “Okay, bad choice of words.”

He shifted forward a bit more so our noses almost touched in an Eskimo kiss. He never took his eyes off mine, his gaze burning into the depths of my soul. It was all so intense that I felt I needed to look away, but he kept his hold on my chin so there was no possible way to move. It was unbelievably pleasurable torture.

“Then you know how I’d kiss you?” he asked with a voice that rumbled in his throat.

“No,” I whispered so low that it was barely audible.

“Like this.”

Still cupping my chin, he brought his face forward, pressing his lips against mine. My eyes widened in shock, but quickly closed, savoring the moment for which I had longed for nearly a decade.

Please don’t be a dream. Please don’t be a dream.

His lips were softer than I remembered; then again NYE was a blur. His lips pressed firmly against my own as if he too had been wanting the same thing for as long as I have. But that couldn’t be right, could it? Especially after everything we’ve been through.

Releasing my chin, he brought his hand to the back of my neck, caressing the skin at the base. The sensation caused me to lurch forward, sealing our kiss even more. He opened his mouth slightly, letting a groan escape. I quickly followed suit, whimpering slightly. Jesse took advantage of my open mouth and plunged his tongue forward, massaging the top of mine. Like he promised, he wasn’t too rough. He didn’t push. He treated me how I’d imagine a princess to be treated.

I was no princess.

I threw my arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. His chest crashed against my own, causing me to stumble back into the side of the couch. What started off gently became intense as years’ worth of pent up emotion came to the surface. Jesse pulled away slightly, causing me to whimper in protest, however he quickly returned, bringing forth his teeth and taking my bottom lip in between both rows. He nibbled the sensitive skin lightly, running his tongue against it simultaneously. I felt as if I was ready to combust. If his kiss was this good, I didn’t know how much more…

Before I could finish my incoherent thoughts, Jesse pulled away from me, panting heavily. His face glistened with a sheen of sweat and his face was flushed.

“What’s wrong?” I panted as if I had just ran a marathon.

“That…was great.”

Yeah it was.

He looked down guiltily. “But I promised myself I’d never drag you down with me.”

“Huh?” Totally not what I thought he’d say.

“I wanted to do this for a long time. A
very
long time.”

“So why…”

“Because I always thought I wasn’t good enough for you.” He chuckled, trying to mask the pain in his eyes. “You deserve a good guy like Ethan. I mean, I hated him from the moment I saw him because he was who
I
wanted to be in more ways than one.”

“If this is about being privileged—”

“It’s not. You deserve somebody your parents want for you. A person who’s stable—”

“You’re stable! Isn’t that the reason why you brought me here? To show me that?”

He looked pained. “Can you clarify something for me?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess so.” My chest still heaved up and down, my mind in a jumble.

“Everything you did with me in high school…you did it because you wanted to, right? Not because you felt sorry for me? Not because in some way you were trying to get back at your parents for smothering you?”

That’s when it dawned on me. I finally figured out why he tried so hard to get me to admit I was a “bad girl.” He wanted to know if all my actions were sincere.

Including now.

“Of course I did it because I wanted to. I told you that from the start.”

“But you said it was to protect me. That means you felt sorry for me,” he pointed out.

“No, it doesn’t,” I argued. Though I’d much rather have forgotten the turmoil I experienced during our NYE kiss, I knew I had to bring it up. “What about New Year’s Eve? I kissed you then, didn’t I? That wasn’t me feeling sorry for you.”

He blushed. “I know I gave you a hard time about that, but I guess I was desperate to hide how much it meant to me…especially if you only did so because you were trying to find an excuse to dump Ethan.”

“Would you stop mentioning him?” I snapped in annoyance.

He shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time I was used to make a boyfriend jealous, but it would be the first time I felt hurt about it.”

It stung to hear him speak like that. To insinuate that I was using him and to hear that other girls actually used him like some object.

I winced. “You know I wouldn’t do that. I kissed you that night because—”

“Because you were caught up in the moment,” he offered half-heartedly.

“No.” It was finally time to fess up. “I mean, I was, but only in the way that it gave me the courage to do something I’ve always wanted to do.”

The look of hope on his face was unmistakable.

“Just like I’ve always wanted to do this.” I threw my body on top of his, causing him to fall back onto the couch. My mouth was pressed tightly against his in an exclamation of “I want this” and “I love you.”

Jesse’s initial shock turned into surrender as he melted against my lips. His hands gripped my back, sliding down to my hips so he could position me so I was straddling him.

In between gasps and groans he ground out, “Rocky…
groan
….you don’t know how…
moan
…much I wanted this.”

“Me too,” I panted, running my hands through his hair.

Just when I was really revving myself up, he gently pushed me away, taking me by surprise. Looking like a scared little puppy, he kept his head down but peered up at me through hooded eyes. “Rocky…you know that…I mean, you could tell that…”

I straightened myself and stared down at his face. “Jesse, you’re making me nervous right now. What’s wrong?”

He licked his lips. “You know this isn’t just messing around to me, right?”

“Huh?”

“I know I was giving you a hard time about using me, but you know I didn’t mean it.”

“Uh, yeah. Of course not.”

His eyelids finally widened, causing his deep eyes to penetrate mine. “You know I…I always loved you, right?”

There was no way I could have heard him correctly. I leaned back, staring at him in wonder.

His voice came out firmly. “I have always loved you. From the moment your dorky self said, ‘Hi, welcome to our bio group,’ to the day we sat on those bleachers and said goodbye. I have never stopped thinking about you.”

“Then why did you ignore me for all those years?” I asked quietly.

“I was scared,” he answered simply. “Scared of screwing up like my mom and driving the one person I loved away. Scared that you’d finally realize I wasn’t good enough for you. Scared that I’d find myself back in Bethel Falls.”

A moment of silence flew by. All those years I wanted to hear him say those words and he finally did.

It was surreal.

“Rocky?”

“I’ve always loved you too.” My voice was barely a whisper. “I think you’ve always known that, though.”

He smiled softly. “I wasn’t sure if I was imagining things. Making things up and believing them.”

I shook my head. “No. It’s always been the truth.”

I leaned forward and planted a kiss against his forehead. He gently sat up, maneuvering me so I was on my back and he was hovering above me. Once again his tongue found its way into my mouth. Like he promised, his hands painstakingly explored every curve and every crevice of my body.

I groaned and ran my fingers up his back, reveling in the feeling of each muscle as they flexed. Ramped up by sudden bravery and hormones, I gripped the bottom of his shirt and tried my hardest to pull it over his head. Unfortunately, the angle at which I was lying made it impossible.

Jesse laughed into my mouth and pushed himself up so he was kneeling over me with one leg on either side of my thighs. “Having trouble?”

I nodded. “Actually, yes.”

A fleeting look of doubt flew across his face. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

I was at the point of no return. I wanted this. I wanted
him.
“Yes, I trust you.”