Twisted (21 page)

The sun was gone and it took the warmth with it, leaving me
digging my toes through cold clammy dirt.  My eyes scanned the darkened beach,
only to find a few couples canoodling in the sand.  Just this morning, that was
me and Edwin.  It made me sick to my stomach to witness such pure happiness at
a time like this.  Brooding, I marched down the beach, heading straight for the
water, desperately clinging to its raw power.  I hesitantly dipped my toes in
the cool waves as they washed ashore and scooped up some water into my hands to
splash my tear-stained face.  Feeling fresh, but far from clean, I started
slowly down the beach.  I had nowhere important to be.

I watched the water ease the hurt from my distressed feet,
and nearly stumbled into a man who was walking in the opposite direction.  He
seemed equally as staggered by me, though it was too dark to be 100% sure.

"Watch where you're going," I said through gritted
teeth, scowling into the darkness.  I didn't care that it was as much my fault
as it was his.  I was mad.  Hoping to rid myself of any more human contact, I
picked up my speed.

"Abigail?  Is that you?"

I cast an evil glare toward the man calling my name.  The
faceless figure approached me slowly and I cowered away from him in the shadows
of night.

"It's me, Tanner," he whispered, as if that would
make me want to come any closer.

I let out an exasperated breath, as his face became clearer. 
I recognized his flawless profile and the handsome face that caused me all this
trouble from the start.  "If you knew what was good for you, you would
stay away from me," I said, a hard frown pressed on my lips.

"Now why would I do that?" he answered.

"Don’t," I warned, my voice disclosing my
exhaustion.

"Okay, but you should know everyone is looking for you. 
They're all worried sick."
"You mean everyone but Edwin.  I'm sure they'll get over it."  I
turned away and took another step, hoping he’d just let me walk.

"I get it you're upset."

I spun back around, my shoulders pressed down.  "You
think?”

He paused a moment, then stepped closer to me, forcing me to
step back.  "There's no reason that we should be alone tonight," he
whispered, daring me to stop him from coming closer.  He moved closer yet, but
I refused to let him govern me.

I glared into his chestnut eyes.  How dare he proposition me
like this.  "I deserve to be alone."

"No one deserves that.  You didn't do anything
wrong."

"Please say it one more time, maybe then it will start
to sound true," I argued.

"This will all blow over if you just deal with it
now," he said, even though his undertones begged me not to.

"Funny, this coming from a guy who's had a year to get
over his ex."  I regretted spewing the words before they left my mouth.

"Ouch, that hurt.  Kick me while I'm down," he
said, his hand over his heart.

"I'm sorry.  That wasn't fair," I said softly, mad
at myself for being so cruel.  "Like I said, you're better off staying
away from me."  I walked away again, and this time I didn't turn back.

I paced slowly down the long wooden boat dock and made my way
to the end of it.  Right at the end, I could see a lone park bench sitting in
peace.  Board by board, I got closer to the bench, until I finally relieved my
aching feet by kicking off my flimsy sandals and taking a seat.  I sighed out
loud and glanced out over the wavy water, free flowing and quiet.  The dock
stretched out so far that it was like I was in the middle of nowhere, right
where I wanted to be, away from all the drama that I called my life.

A dark shadow hung heavy over my shoulder.  A board creaked,
catching my attention.  My eyes grew wide when the long shadow fell across the
water.  Slowly, anxiously, I glanced over my right shoulder.  Ugh!  It was
Tanner.

Before I could shoo him off, he took a seat without asking my
permission.  Infuriated, I folded my arms across my chest and shoved over, so my
bare legs wouldn’t touch him.  I continued to stare out over the water, my chin
resting on the palm of my hand, my fingers blocking my eyes from his view, but
the warmth that radiated from his bulky covered body didn’t go unnoticed.

"You can't get rid of me that easily.  Nice try though,"
he said.

The bench was small enough and with his considerable size,
when he spread his powerful legs and leaned forward, he consumed what was left
of the space between us.  His warmth penetrated my leg through his thin faded jeans.

I shivered from the reminder of my minimal clothes. 
"Seriously Tanner, you've got issues.  Leave me alone, unless you want a
foot to the face," I warned, though I doubted I had the energy to follow
through with the threat.

"I do have issues.  Why do you think I’m alone?” he
asked.  “But threatening me won’t work.  I thrive on threats these days."

Stunned and silenced I struggled to find a new topic.  Why
did he have to make me feel bad?  I already felt like shit.

"Where's Jay you ask?" he said, igniting a one-sided
conversation.  "Where do you think?"  He glanced out over the water,
as he floundered with his own thoughts.  "Let's just say he and Maddie
like each other,
a lot,
and I wasn't about to hang around and watch them
make babies."

"Oh."

"Yeah, I've been pacing the beach for over an hour, but
I can't bring myself to go back."  He buried his face in his massive hand,
leaning against the right side of the bench.

There was a long comfortable silence.  No talking is good.  Then,
"I'm so selfish," he said.  "I can see you've got your own
problems and here I am making trouble for you.  I certainly haven't made your
life any easier."

I shuddered from the cool breeze that swept off of the water,
no doubt from the dark clouds rolling up, and I instantly wished I had a shirt
to hide in.  My skin looked like gooseflesh, bumps sprinkled up both of my
arms.  Tanner noticed immediately.

"You must be freezing.  Here take my jacket."  He
pulled off his light jacket and hung it over my shoulders.

I didn't argue with him.  I
was
freezing.  But I
didn't thank him either.  If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be in this mess in
the first place.  I pulled the jacket tighter around my shoulders, but it
didn't stop the trembling.  There was only one thing that could make that go
away.

"For what it's worth, I'm happy to see that you're
okay," Tanner said.

Does this man ever shut up?  "What do you care?"

"You obviously have no idea the effect you have on
people... on me," he admitted.

"I'm nothing special."

"You're the only woman who has been real with me since
my wife left me; the only one who came right out and told me to get over it. 
That makes you special... to me."

"That's not special.  You don't know special.  Did you
ever think that maybe I'm just a bitch like that?"

He grabbed my chin and turned it to face him, startling me
from my rant.  He looked me in the eyes, his warm and inviting, mine green and wide
with alarm.  He cupped my cheek, but still held me firmly in place. 
"Can't you just take the compliment?  You are special and I like you, deal
with it."

I snagged my chin away from him and glanced off into the
darkness.  "I have other things to deal with."

He chuckled.  "You're more messed up than I
thought."

I didn't speak.  In the silence, I realized that in the midst
of our bickering, Tanner managed to steer my thoughts clear of Edwin.  I should
have been thankful for such a disruption from my self-deprecating thoughts, but
instead I was consumed with guilt.  "Thank you so much for laying that out
on the table for me," I said, harsh and sarcastic.  "Yes I've got
issues and I don't need some random guy sorting out all of my troubles for me. 
Especially you.  You don't even know me.”

"I know that you have good intentions."

I rolled my eyes and turned to face him, angrier than ever. 
"How can you be so nice to me when I'm trying to rip you a new one?"

He smiled warmly.  "I have my ways."

I waved my arms erratically, knocking his jacket from my
shoulders.  "You probably think I'm nuts."

"No.  A little wild, yes, but not nuts."

Breathless, I smiled.  I couldn't believe I was smiling.  I
am nuts.

"Look at that, she does smile," he breathed. 
Tanner reached his arm over my shoulder and inched closer as he adjusted the
jacket for me.

All at once I was feeling terribly vulnerable.  I could taste
the flame on my tongue.  I was going to get burned.  His attraction radiated
from his tanned skin, luring me closer.  I looked up into the clouded sky for
some moral support and a mist of rain answered instantly.  I shuddered
involuntarily, pulled my feet onto the bench and tucked my legs into the
oversize jacket, wrapping myself into a protective little ball.

Tanner pulled my head onto his shoulder, cradling me in his
arm, then wrapped his free arm around my legs, huddling me close to his heart. 
My arms, tucked neatly inside his jacket, weren’t quick enough to avert his
advances.  I pressed my eyes shut for a moment and hated to admit that I craved
the warmth his arms provided.  The warmth was nice, but his safety net was
foreign to me. 
He was not Edwin.

Instead of instantly removing myself from his embrace, with
eyes shut, I imagined that Edwin and I were okay.  To pretend that I was in his
arms again felt good.  But still, Tanner wasn’t Edwin.  A sour smile covered my
mouth, eyes painfully squeezed closed.

"Abigail?"

Rocked out of my daydream, my eyelids fluttered open.  I
lifted my head from Tanner's shoulder and stared into the honest eyes of the
handsome man before me, his lips aching for a kiss.  He slowly leaned in.  I
did the deer in headlights thing.  He stopped, his warm breath tickling my
lips.

My alarm faded and Tanner seemed more confused than ever.  "Tanner,
no," I whispered.  "I can't do this."  I folded my lips in,
stood up next to him and tossed his jacket into his lap.

He glanced at me with a sideways smile.  "Of course you
can't.  You're better than that."

"No.  I'm in love with someone else."

I went to pass him, but he put his large leg out to block my
way.  "I want to hate you, but I feel like this is a step in the right
direction," he said.

I smiled at him and he turned his glance timidly to his feet. 
"Goodbye Tanner."

I RUSHED
AWAY BEFORE Tanner could think of something else charming to say.  I had to get
to Edwin.  I had to get through to him.  My steady pace turned into a slow jog
and then an all-out race.  Suddenly, I couldn't get to Edwin fast enough. 
Digging deep, my heart driving me forward, I sprinted straight to his cabin.  Without
stopping for air, or reason, I burst through the door without knocking.  I
stopped when I got inside, breathless and shaky.  The lights were out, but
Edwin was standing in the middle of the dark room, all alone, his eyes glaring
out the window.

He turned his shadowed gaze on me.  "Abigail?"

Without giving him a chance to throw me out, I marched up to
him, flung my arms around his broad shoulders and held on for dear life, eyes
pinched shut.  He didn’t hold me, but he didn’t push me away.  Tears started
flowing down my cheeks, mistakes upsetting my empty stomach.  I dropped my arms
and folded them over my bare belly.  I was glad the lights were out because I
couldn't bear having to look into his accusing eyes again.

"Edwin.  We need to talk; and I won't take no for an
answer this time," I said.

"No."

My heart rammed into my throat. 
Did I hear him correctly?
 
"What?"

      "I said no."  He paused as I stood in total
confusion, unable to gage his mood without being able to search his heavily shadowed
eyes.  "Not until you bathe.  You smell absolutely repulsive," he
said.

My tears fell fast and my heart thumped with relief.  If
Edwin could find it in him to fool with me, then I had already won half the
battle.  He reached up a finger and swept a tear from my moist cheek.

"Don't cry Abs.  I was only messing with you."  He
wrapped his arms around me and held me, ignoring my sweaty hair and apparent
stench.  "On second thought, maybe it wouldn't hurt if you hit the shower
real quick," he teased.

A nervous chuckle trembled under my breath.  Though I
couldn't see his face, I knew he wasn’t frowning at me, and that was good
enough.  For now.  I wiped away the wetness, as Edwin took my hand and led me
to the bathroom.  He switched the light on and I cowered from the brightness. 
My eyes were sore, but focused, like my mind.

"You had us all worried sick.  You shouldn't have run
off like that," he said, very serious now.  He smoothed his thumb over my
cheek and ran his fingers down my jaw.

"I'm so sorry.  Please give me a chance to
explain."