Once
we’d
moved
in,
everything
finally
settled
down.
Mine
and
Stosh’s
parents
insisted
on
buying
us
new
furniture
for
our
house.
They
didn’t
want
anything
from
the
past
reminding
us
of
what
we’d
been
through.
I
didn’t
mind
it.
I
think
it
made
us
appreciate
each
other
more.
Normally,
Stosh
would
work
from
nine
to
five.
Of
course,
he
had
plenty
of
down
time
to
spend
with
me.
We
got
hooked
on
soap
operas
and
spent
his
lunch
break
in
bed
or
on
the
couch.
I
ate
more
than
ever
before
and
gained
double
the
amount
of
weight
I
should
have.
We
were
just
so
happy
and
so
in
love.
The
anticipation
of
the
new
baby
coming
brought
on
all
sorts
of
late
night
cravings.
Stosh
had
the
delivery
places
on
his
speed
dial
and
I
was
pretty
sure
they
were
on
a
first
name
basis.
His
love
for
me
was
so
apparent,
and
the
time
that
we’d
been
apart,
soon
was
a
lost
memory.
Each
day
was
better
than
the
one
before
it
and
I
was
so
grateful
for
the
way
things
had
turned
out.
Ivy’s
trial
didn’t
happen
until
three
months
after
she’d
been
arrested.
She
started
in
the
local
county
corrections
center.
My
parents
had
come
to
us
the
week
before
the
trial
begging
me
to
go
see
my
sister.
They
said
she
needed
to
talk
to
me
before
she
was
sentenced.
My
now
showing
belly
would
reveal
my
pregnancy.
Even
though
I’d
told
her
I
was
expecting
on
that
horrible
night
she’d
tried
to
kill
us,
I
don’t
think
it
really
sank
in
as
being
real.
Stosh
and
I
talked
for
a
long
time
about
me
going
to
see
my
sister.
We
owed
her
nothing,
and
the
last
thing
I
wanted
to
do
was
hear
her
bullshit
lies.
As
the
days
went
by,
I
started
to
reconsider.
There
were
things
that
I’d
been
dying
to
say
to
her.
There
were
things
she
deserved
to
hear
out
of
my
mouth.
Stosh
argued
with
me
over
it,
saying
things
were
better
left
unsaid.
He
said
I’d
just
be
stirring
the
pot
and
that
he
didn’t
feel
like
giving
her
another
second
of
our
time.
Without
his
blessing,
I
found
myself
sitting
outside
the
gates
to
the
prison.
It
was
visiting
day
and
the
last
day
to
see
her
before
the
trial.
I’d
asked
my
parents
to
wait
until
my
visit
was
over
to
come
see
her.
This
was
between
me
and
my
sister.
The
visitation
room
was
a
lot
like
they
portray
them
on
television.
Large
cafeteria
type
tables
were
in
rows.
The
prisoner
sits
on
one
side
while
the
visitor
sits
on
the
other.
I
showed
my
I.D.
and
waited
for
them
to
bring
her
out
to
see
me.
It
was
weird
when
she
came
out
from
behind
the
door
without
makeup.
I
don’t
remember
seeing
my
sister
like
that.
Even
before
bed
she
would
apply
some
makeup.
She
used
to
say
that
it
was
just
in
case
the
house
caught
fire.
She
didn’t
want
a
cute
fireman
seeing
her
without
her
face
on.
None
of
that
mattered
anymore.
She
couldn’t
primp
around
and
pick
up
the
new
makeup
when
it
came
out
at
the
stores.
Her
excitement
was
over.
Now
she’d
be
trading
day
old
fish
sticks
for
cigarettes.
It
almost
made
me
want
to
smile.
The
look
on
her
face
was
unlike
one
I
was
used
to.
She
seemed
both
shocked
and
amused
that
I
had
showed
up.
I
folded
my
hands
on
the
table
as
she
walked
up.
My
belly
was
well
hidden
and
I
was
saving
that
surprise
for
the
very
end
of
our
visit.
She
sat
down
right
in
front
of
me.
“I
didn’t
think
you’d
come.”
“I
wasn’t
going
to.”
I
raised
one
eyebrow
and
waited
for
her
to
respond.
I
was
ready
for
anything.
She
played
with
her
hands.
“I
thought
a
lot
about
what
I
wanted
to
say
to
you.”
“So
spill.
I
don’t
have
all
day.
Stosh
is
taking
me
out
to
our
favorite
restaurant
and
I
promised
him
I
wouldn’t
be
late.”
I
loved
rubbing
it
in
that
we
were
together.
It
was
almost
as
good
as
leaning
over
the
table
and
gouging
both
of
her
eyes
out.
“It
must
be
nice.”
“Oh,
it
is.
Everything
turned
out
perfectly.
I’ve
never
been
so
happy.”
She
placed
her
hands
flat
on
the
table.
“How’s
he
doing
without
legs?”
“Screw
you!”
I
stood
up.
“This
was
a
mistake.
You
aren’t
worth
the
time.”
She
stared
at
me,
but
not
my
face.
I
could
see
the
tears
forming
in
her
eyes.
“What’s
wrong,
Ivy?
Cat
got
your
tongue?”
She
put
her
hands
over
her
mouth
and
shook
her
head.
“I
didn’t
believe
it.
I
thought
you
were
lying.”
“We
kept
it
from
you
the
whole
time,
Ivy.
How
does
it
feel
to
be
lied
to?
How
does
it
feel
to
know
that
I
have
everything
you’ve
ever
wanted?”
She
shook
her
head
and
continued
to
sob.
“Stop
it!”
I
sat
back
down
and
got
close
to
her,
so
nobody
else
could
hear
me.
“How
does
it
feel
to
know
you
will
never
have
my
life?
You
will
never
feel
what
it’s
like
to
have
someone
love
you
and
you
will
never,
ever,
know
what
having
your
own
child
is
like.
You
reap
what
you
sow,
sis.”
I
tapped
on
the
table.
“This
is
where
you
belong.”
I
went
to
stand
up
and
walk
away,
but
she
grabbed
my
hand.
“Will,
wait!”
I
pulled
away.
“What
do
you
want?
Did
you
think
I
was
going
to
come
here
and
just
forgive
you?
You’re
insane!
You
took
everything
from
me
and
then
tried
to
end
the
lives
of
everyone
that
ever
gave
a
damn
about
you.
I
hope
you
rot
in
Hell.”
“I’m
sorry.”
I
pointed
at
her.
“You’re
so
lucky
the
charges
against
me
and
Stosh
were
dropped.”
The
day
after
she
was
arrested
my
father
made
sure
that
Stosh
and
I
were
out
of
trouble
for
what
we’d
done.
“I
said
I
was
sorry,”
she
repeated.
I
was
so
pissed
off.
“You’re
not
sorry,
Ivy.
You
did
it
all
on
purpose.
Apologies
are
for
something
you
didn’t
mean
to
happen.
You
planned
all
of
this.
Are
you
happy
with
yourself?
How
does
it
make
you
feel
to
know
that
Stosh
and
I
bought
a
house
together?
We
wake
up
in
our
bed
and
make
love
whenever
we
want.
You
think
just
because
he
can’t
walk
that
we
can’t
make
love?
My
name
is
the
only
one
he
says
when
he
sleeps.
It’s
our
baby’s
room
that
he’s
helping
decorate.
I
hope
you
like
your
little
ten-‐by-‐ten
cell.
Was
that
in
your
plan
too?”
She
shook
her
head
and
hid
her
face
from
me.
I
had
gotten
to
her
in
the
worst
way,
without
guilt.
“I
loved
you
more
than
anyone
for
our
whole
lives.
I
would
have
done
anything
for
you.
It’s
a
shame
you
didn’t
feel
that
way
about
me.
We
could
have
been
a
family.
You
could
have
been
an
aunt
to
my
children.
I
really
do
hope
you’re
happy
with
yourself.”
I
left
my
sister
sitting
at
the
table
in
tears.
Whatever
it
was
she
thought
she
was
going
to
say
wasn’t
ever
going
to
be
said.
I’d
made
my
peace
with
it
all
and
it
felt
damn
good.
Stosh
was
anxiously
waiting
for
me
when
I
returned
home.
I
walked
in
the
door
with
a
smile
on
my
face.
Sure,
I
did
feel
bad
for
saying
such
mean
things.
I
reacted
the
way
I
had,
because
everything
was
so
pent
up
inside
of
me.
I
just
needed
to
get
it
out,
once
and
for
all.
He
wheeled
himself
toward
the
front
door.
“How’d
it
go?”
I
sat
down
on
his
lap
and
wrapped
my
arms
around
his
neck.
“I
said
some
things.”
“What
kind
of
things?”
“Imagine
the
worst
possible
things
that
you
could
ever
say
to
Ivy,
then
multiply
that
by
one
hundred.”
I
wondered
if
I’d
been
too
hard
on
my
sister.
Maybe
that
was
just
because
I
had
a
heart
and
she
didn’t.
I
wanted
to
hate
her,
but
somewhere
inside
of
me,
I
still
cared.
I
hated
being
mean.
“How
did
she
take
it?”
“She
cried.”
He
kissed
me
softly
on
the
lips.
“Don’t
tell
me
you
feel
guilty
now.
That
bitch
deserves
whatever
is
dealt
to
her.”
I
traced
his
lips
with
my
fingertip.
“I
know.”
He
popped
a
wheelie
with
me
on
his
lap.
I
screamed
and
held
on
tight.
“Whoa!
What
are
you
doing?”