Twelve Red Herrings (40 page)

“Sorry,” he
repeated. “One of my patients has chosen this particular mment to have a
relapse. I’m.
afraid
I’m going to have to leave you.”
He stood up and turned to his sister. “How will you get home, Pipsqueak?”

“I’m a big girl
now,” said Anna, ‘so I’ll just look around for one of those black objects on
four wheels with a sign on the top that reads T-A-X-I, and then I’ll wave at
it.”

“Don’t worry,
Jonathan,” I said. “I’ll drive her home.”

“That’s very
kind of you,’ said Jonathan, ‘because if it’s still pouring by the time you
leave, she may not be able to find one of those black objects to wave at.”

“In any case,
it’s the least I can do, after I ended up getting your ticket, your dinner and
your sister.”

“Fair exchange,”
said Jonathan as Mario came rushing up.

“Is everything
all right, sir?” he asked.

“No, it isn’t.
I’m on call, and have to go.” He handed over an American Express card. “If
you’d be kind enough to put this through your machine, I’ll sign for it and you
can fill in the amount later.

And please add
fifteen per cent.”

“Thank you,
sir,” said Mario, and rushed away.

“Hope to see you
again,” said Jonathan. I rose to shake him by the hand.

“I hope so too,”
I said.

Jonathan left
us, headed for the bar and signed a slip of paper.

Mario handed him
back his American Express card.

As Anna waved to
her brother, I looked towards the bar and shook my head slightly. Mario tore up
the little slip of paper and dropped the pieces into a waste-paper basket.

“It hasn’t been
a wonderful day for Jonathan, either,” said Anna, turning back to face me. “And
what with your problems, I’m amazed you were able to take the evening off.”

“I shouldn’t
have, really, and wouldn’t have, except...”
I
trailed
off as I leaned over and topped up Anna’s glass.

“Except what?”
she asked.

“Do you want to
hear the truth?” I asked as I poured the remains of the wine into my own glass.

“I’ll try that
for starters,” she said.

I placed the
empty bottle on the side of the table, and hesitated, but only for a moment. “I
was driving to one of my restaurants earlier this evening, when I spotted you
going into the theatre.

I stared at you
for so long that I nearly crashed into the back of the car in front of me. Then
I swerved across the road into the nearest parking space, and the car behind
almost crashed into me.

I leapt out, ran
all the way to the theatre, and searched everywhere until I saw you standing in
the queue for the box office.

I joined the
line and watched you hand over your spare ticket.

Once you were
safely out of sight, I told the box office manager that you hadn’t expected me
to make it in time, and that you might have put my ticket up for resale. After
I’d described you, which I was able to do in great detail, he handed it over
without so much as a murmur.’

Anna put down
her glass of wine and stared across at me with a look of incredulity. “I’m glad
he fell for your story,” she said.

“But should I?’

“Yes, you
should. Because then I put two ten-pound notes into a theatre envelope and took
the place next to you,” I continued.

“The rest you
already know.” I waited to see how she would react.

She didn’t speak
for some time.

“I’m flattered,”
she said eventually. “I didn’t realise there were any old-fashioned romantics
left in the world.” She lowered her head slightly. “Am I allowed to ask what
you have planned for the rest of the evening?”

“Nothing has
been planned so far,” I admitted. “Which is why it’s all been so refreshing.”

“You make me
sound like an After Eight mint,” said Anna with a laugh.

“I can think of
at least three replies to that,” I told her as Mario reappeared, looking a
little disappointed at the sight of the half-empty plates.

“Is everything
all right, sir?” he asked, sounding anxious.

“Couldn’t have
been better,” said Anna, who hadn’t stopped looking at me.

“Would you like
a coffee,
madam ?”
Mario asked her.

“No, thank you,”
said Anna firmly. “We have to go in search of a marooned car.”

“Heaven knows if
it will still be there after all this time,” I said as she rose from her place.

I took Anna’s hand,
led her towards the entrance, back up the stairs and out onto the street. Then
I began to retrace my steps to the spot where I’d abandoned my car. As we
strolled up the Aldwych and chatted away, I felt as if I was with an old
friend.

“You don’t have to
give me a lift, Michael,” Anna was saying.

“It’s probably
miles out of your way, and in any case it’s stopped raining, so I’ll just hail
a taxi.”

“I want to give
you a lift,” I told her. “That way I’ll have your company for a little longer.”
She smiled as we reached a distressingly large space where I had left the car.

“Damn,” I said.
I quickly checked up and down the road, and returned to find Anna laughing.

“Is this another
of your schemes to have more of my company?” she teased. She opened her bag and
took out a mobile phone, dialled 999, and passed it over to me.

“Which service
do you require? Fire, Police or Ambulance?” a voice asked.

“Police,” I
said, and was immediately put through to another voice.

“Charing
Cross Police Station.
What is the nature of your enquiry?”

“I think my car
has been stolen.”

“Can you tell me
the make, colour and registration number please, sir.”

“It’s a blue
Rover 600, registration K857 SHV.” There was a long pause, during which I could
hear other voices talking in the background.

“No, it hasn’t
been stolen, sir,” said the officer who had been dealing with me when he came
back on the line. “The vehicle was illegally parked on a double yellow line.
It’s been removed and taken to the Vauxhall Bridge Pound.”

“Can I pick it
up now?” I asked.

“Certainly,
sir.
How will you be getting there?” Tll take a taxi.”

“Then just ask
the driver for the Vauxhall Bridge Pound. Once you get there, you’ll need some
form of identification, and a cheque for 205 with a banker’s card – that is if
you don’t have the full amount in cash.”
‘xo5 ?”
I
said quietly.

“That’s correct,
sir.” Anna frowned for the first time that evening.

“Worth
every penny.”

“I beg your
pardon, sir?”

“Nothing,
officer.

Goodnight.” I
handed the phone back to Anna, and said, “The next thing I’m going to do is
find you a taxi.”

“You certainly
are not, Michael, because I’m staying with you.

In any case, you
promised my brother you’d take me home.” I took her hand and hailed a taxi,
which swung across the road and came to a halt beside us.

“Vauxhall Bridge
Pound, please.”

“Bad luck,
mate,” said the cabbie. “You’re my fourth this evening.” I gave him a broad
grin.

“I expect the
other three also chased you into the theatre, but luckily they were behind me
in the queue,” I said to Anna as I joined her on the back seat.

As the taxi
manoeuvred its way slowly through the rainswept post-theatre traffic and across
Waterloo Bridge, Anna said, “Don’t you think I should have been given the chance
to choose between the four of
you ?
After all, one of
them might have been driving a Rolls-Royce.’

“Not possible.”

“And why not,
pray?” asked Anna.

“Because
you couldn’t have parked a Rolls-Royce in that space.’

“
But
if he’d had a chauffeur, that would have solved all my
problems.’

“In that case, I
would simply have run him over.” The taxi had travelled some distance before
either of us spoke again.

“Can I ask you a
personal question?” Anna eventually said.

“If it’s what I
think it is, I was about to ask you the same thing.”

“Then you go
first.”

“No – I’m not
married,” I said. “Nearly, once, but she escaped.” Anna laughed. “And you?”

“I was married,”
she said quietly. “He was the fourth doctor in the practice. He died three
years ago. I spent nine months nursing him, but in the end I failed.’

“I’m so sorry,”
I said, feeling a little ashamed. “That was tactless of me. I shouldn’t have
raised the subject.”

“I raised it,
Michael, not you. It’s me who should apologise.” Neither of us spoke again for
several minutes, until Anna said, “For the past three years, since Andrew’s
death, I’ve immersed myself in work, and I seem to spend most of my spare time
boring Jonathan and Elizabeth to distraction.

They couldn’t
have been more understanding, but they must be heartily sick of it by now. I
wouldn’t be surprised if Jonathan hadn’t arranged an emergency for tonight, so
someone else could take me to the theatre for a change. It might even give me
the confidence to go out again.

Heaven knows,”
she added as we drove into the car pound, ‘enough people have been kind enough
to ask me.” I passed the cabbie a ten-pound note and we dashed through the rain
in the direction of a little Portakabin.

I walked up to
the counter and read the form $ellotaped to it.

I took out my wallet,
extracted my driving licence, and began counting.

I only had
eighty pounds in cash, and I never carry a chequebook.

Anna grinned,
and took the envelope I’d presented to her earlier in the evening from her bag.
She tore it open and extracted the two ten-pound notes, added a five-pound note
of her own, and handed them over to me.

“Thank you,” I
said, once again feeling embarrassed.

“Worth every
penny,” she replied with a grin.

The policeman
counted the notes slowly, placed them in a tin box, and gave me a receipt.

“It’s right
there, in the front row,” he said, pointing out of the window. “And if I may
say so, sir, it was perhaps unwise of you to leave your keys in the ignition.
If the vehicle had been stolen, your insurance company would not have been liable
to cover the claim.” He passed me my keys.

“It was my
fault, officer,” said Anna. “I should have sent him back for them, but I didn’t
realise what he was up to. VII make sure he doesn’t do it again.” The officer
looked up at me. I shrugged my shoulders and led Anna out of the cabin and
across to my car. I opened the door to let her in,
then
nipped round to the driver’s side as she leant over and pushed my door open. I
took my place behind the wheel and turned to face her. “I’m sorry,” I said.
“The rain has ruined your dress.” A drop of water fell off the end of her nose.

“But, you know,
you’re just as beautiful wet or dry.”

“Thank you,
Michael,” she smiled. “But if you don’t have any objection, on balance I’d
prefer to be dry.” I laughed. “So, where shall I take you?” I asked, suddenly
aware that I didn’t know where she lived.

“Fulham,
please.
49 Parsons Green Lane. It’s not too far.” I pushed the key into the ignition,
not caring how far it was.

I turned the key
and took a deep breath. The engine spluttered, but refused to start. Then I
realised I had left the sidelights on.

“Don’t do this
to me,” I begged, as Anna began laughing again.

I turned the key
a second
time,
and the motor caught. I let out a sigh
of relief.

“That was a
close one,” Anna said. “If it hadn’t started, we might have ended up spending
the rest of the night together. Or was that all part of your dastardly plan?”

“Nothing’s gone
to plan so far,’

I admitted as I
drove out of the pound. I paused before adding, “Still, I suppose things might
have turned out differently.”

“You mean if I
hadn’t been the sort of girl you were looking for?”

“Something
like
that.”

“I wonder what
those other three men would have thought of me,” said Anna wistfully.

“Who cares? They’re
not going to have the chance to find out.’

“You sound very
sure of yourself, Mr. Whitaker.’

“If you only
knew,” I said. “But I would like to see you again, Anna.
If
you’re willing to risk it.”
She seemed to take an eternity to reply.
“Yes, I’d like that,” she said eventually. “But only on condition that you pick
me up at my place, so I can be certain you park your car legally, and remember
to switch your lights off.”